Blurryface |Joshler|

Tyler Joseph. Blurryface. Tyler Joseph. Blurryface. Tyler Joseph. Blurryface. Blurryface. Blurryface. Blurryface.
TRIGGER WARNING SELF HARM

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4. Boys Like Boys

While Tyler made breakfast, Josh got dressed in the bathroom. He wasn't sure what had just happened. Was Tyler hinting at what he thought he was? He pulled a black tank top over his mop of pink hair and felt the cool cotton on his skin. It was a nice feeling, a clean feeling, something to distract him from the nonsense in his confused head. He watched himself in the mirror as he continued to dress, staring into his own mocha colored eyes which every now and then blinked and surveyed the tiled walls. 

When he was finally fully clothed he took a deep breath and braced himself to open the door. The bathroom wasn't that large, he simply had to pivot to reach the handle. Somehow, despite the strength he was trying so very hard to have, he couldn't open the door. Tyler was out there, making eggs or bagels or whatever he was making that smelled so good and yet Josh had no clue what was going on inside that boy's mind. What was he going to do? He knew he couldn't go out there again, it was too dangerous. He backed into te sink, away from the door and when he felt himself bump into it, he turned to see his reflection. His mocha eyes were large and he was pouting. He was scared.

"Josh?" Tyler's sweet voice rang out from the kitchen and Josh watched his eyes fill with alarm. 

God, don't come in, don't come in, please no.

Tyler ever so slightly creaked the door open and stuck his head inside. When he saw Josh fully clothed and standing by the sink he let himself in and Josh went rigid, never taking his eyes off his own.

"Josh?" Tyler repeated, trying to meet his eyes in the reflection.

"Hi," Josh said, dully.

Tyler took a step closer and Josh dug his fingernails into his palms which were coated in nervous sweat.

"Are you scared?"

"Of?"

Tyler felt some redundancy and he let the events of the night play in his head before saying, "You know what."

Josh released a stuttering breath and this caught Tyler off guard.

"I-I don't..." 

Tyler placed his hand on Josh's back and found that he was shaking. He wanted to wrap him in a hug but figured it was better not too for now. 

Josh felt his face turn the same color as his hair.

"I don't even know what's happening." 

Tyler took a moment to let this sink in and Josh trembled, not his best choice of words.

"Neither am I," Tyler whispered finally, and Josh heaved a sigh of relief. No misunderstanding.

Not sure what to say, Josh suddenly squeezed his eyes shut, too overwhelmed to think. He felt Tyler's arm move from his back to his hand and before he knew it Josh was intertwining their fingers.

Tyler slowly began to lead Josh, who still had his eyes closed into the kitchen, where the pleasant smell became even stronger.

Josh sniffed and muttered, "Chocolate chip cookies... for breakfast?"

Tyler nodded, then remembering Josh couldn't see him, he said, "Soggy bottoms, just the way you like them."

Josh smiled, that was exactly how he liked them.

Tyler carefully took one of the cookies from the tray and lifted it to Josh's lips. Josh, who smelled the treat opened his mouth without thinking and bit down on the sweet flavor. His eyes opened to see what was happening and he felt panic rise somewhere deep within him. He suppressed this, though, because the cookie tasted great.

"How can something," He wondered aloud between chews, "be so right but so wrong at the same time?"

Tyler cocked his head to the side, "Are you talking about the cookie or...?"

Josh laughed and said, "I'm definitely not talking about the cookie, this is great."

Tyler swallowed hard, "Then I say that you choose to feel whichever one you feel the most."

Josh closed his eyes again, letting the aftertaste of his bite of cookie seep into his tongue. 

"What if I don't know which one I feel the most?"

"Alright, which one do you want to feel?"

Josh thought for a minute.

"What if I don't know that either?"

Tyler tightened his grip on Josh's hand and they both realized they were still holding hands.

"Then I guess that's okay, too."

There was a moment of silence where Josh opened his eyes and Tyler looked into them.

There was another moment where Josh moved the tiniest bit closer to Tyler.

There was another where their foreheads nearly touched. 

There was a moment where Josh pulled away.

He was shaking his head and he began to run out of the bus, ignoring Tyler who stood there, mouth hanging open in surprise.

 

"So let me get this straight, you walked in on Tyler cutting, you and Tyler slept in the same bed, Tyler hit on you, you got scared and cried in the bathroom, Tyler made you cookies, and you almost kissed but you ran out and now you're in my tour bus telling me all of this?"

Josh nodded, "I don't know what to do anymore."

Brendon chuckled and said, "This is all very sudden to me, but I guess I can give you some advice about being in love with your best friend..."

Josh followed his gaze to the picture of Brendon and Ryan on the kitchen counter.

Brendon stared at the photo for a moment before clearing his throat, bringing both of their attentions back to the conversation. 

"Um, so what's your advice?"

Brendon's leg began thumping up and down.

"I'd say don't come on too strong, but when the time is right, you'll know it."

"The time for what?"

"For your first kiss," Brendon said with a smile.

Josh pushed his pink hair behind his ear and walked over to the counter where he picked up the photo. Brendon froze.

"Was the time ever right for you and Ryan?"

Brendon hesitated and then said, "I can't be sure."

Josh turned, placing the photo back.

"So you never kissed him?"

"No, no I did, it's just that I don't think the time was right... For either of us."

He paused and then said, "But I'm engaged to Sarah now, so I mean, no big deal."

"Brendon, do you really even like Sarah?"

"I haven't seen Ryan for years," Brendon said, choosing to ignore the question.

"Brendon?"

Brendon sighed, leaning back in his chair.

"Yes, I do like Sarah, I love her. But I..."

"But you what?"

"Ryan still has a place in my heart, you know?"

Josh sat down next to him. 

"Yeah, I think I do."

 

Tyler found Josh a few hours later sitting outside their bus by the water.

"Josh?"

Josh chose not to respond, letting the wind blow his hair back as he stared into the open ocean. 

Tyler sat down next to him and Josh stiffened. 

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Beautiful place, Florida," Josh replied.

Tyler nodded, "Yeah, I suppose it is."

They both stared out at the view, the grass cool and dewy when he pressed his hand into the dirt.

"Tyler, what would you think if I told you I think you're very beautiful?"

Tyler smiled.

"I would think you were very beautiful as well."

Josh leaned back and Tyler caught him in his arms. He lifted his chin and they looked into each other's eyes.

"Is the time right?" Josh whispered.

Tyler didn't know what Josh was talking about, but he thought he had an idea.

"I think so," He said.

Their foreheads pressed together and Tyler looked down at Josh's lips he so desperately wanted to kiss. Josh grabbed his hand and squeezed it. The time was right.

Their lips met and it was the most wonderful thing either of them had ever felt. A flutter emerged inside of both Tyler and Josh and they kissed, they were kissing and it felt entirely right. Tyler cupped his cheek and Josh wrapped his arm around Tyler's waist.  

Finally, Josh pulled away for a breath and they sat there, arms around each other, noses pressed together, eyes locked on each other. 

"How did that feel?" Tyler asked.

Josh smiled with his perfect teeth.

"Wow."

Tyler grinned.

"Wow," He echoed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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