Dear Best Friend Forever

This is to my bestest friend in the world whom I hold so dear and has NEVER given up on me. I hope you see this bestie. I love you. And ich liebe dich means I love you in German.

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5. 1/23/17

Dear Best Friend,

                   Two girls at my placement got into a fist fight over the weekend. It was scary. Then one of the girls ran outside and then she tried to get back in and fight. We had to lock her out. Then our little one was freaking out. So I calmed her down. Honestly it's my fault because I ticked one of the girls off in the first place. *sigh*

                  This Friday I'm not going to be at school. I'm going to be at C of O. I'm going there for a tour at 11:00 AM. So maybe you will be able to go and see me. I hope so. I don't know if you'll see this in time though......

                    I went this weekend to a chili cook off. It was fun. But there was a lot of politics related things. I don't like politics. I don't like Donald Trump. I don't like Hillary Clinton. I don't like politics. I was at the gas station with one of my staff and two other girls. So they had just mopped the floor. (you see were this is going?) I didn't know though. I slipped and fell in front of everyone. It was embarrassing but it was too funny to be embarrassed.

                  I made a decision over that boy. I decided to not decide for now. I'm going to get to know him better before I even make a decision. I wish you were here so I could get your opinion on him........ 

                 Sometimes I'm scared that something happened to you and that's why you aren't answering. I wish I would have been tougher before and taken the risk to get on here and talk to you before you stopped looking. Sometimes I fear you forgot about me or that you finally gave up after all these years. You can only keep faith for so long before you give up. I keep looking at your letters. I keep wishing I could go back. I wish. I wish. I wish. I wish. There are so many things I wish. The thing I wish the most is that I could go back and fix everything. Y'know what I mean? But wishing doesn't fix anything now does it?

               I've had best friends over the past few years but you are still my bestest friend of all time. Nobody can replace you. I think about you all the time. I mis you all the time. Remember my first day at school in second grade? I remember the second we decided to become best friends. It was my idea. We were on the playground out by the balance beams. That tree out there next to the balance beam was our hang out every single recess. Or the swings. Depended on our mood. And remember Zombie Tag? I remember our last game of that in sixth grade. That one night we went to Washington for the band trip and Sam, Justice, you, and I shared a room. That was a good and bad night. Justice and Wes was the bad part. But when us four were in the room together was the best part. We watched Robot Chicken for the first time ever. I miss those days......

               Do still have the photo albulm I gave you in like 4th grade? I was just thinking about it. Wondering if you still have it.

              I don't really play clarinet anymore. I do sometimes. But not much. I remember how to play it. But it has never been the same playing anymore without everyone. I don't feel that joy and excitement anymore. It just feels like work.

              We would always talk about high school together. What we would do. What classes we would take. What it would be like. Now were in high school. Juniors. But two seperate schools. Two hours apart. The way it's been since I f***ed everything up. I'm so so so damn sorry. I will never ever do something like that again. Never ever.

               Sorry that this letter is depressing. I just had to get it off my chest as much as I could.

                                                 ich liebe dich <3

                                                          Love,

                                                               Best Friend/Daughter/StarGazer141

                 

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