Not Far

Jean is subjected to a rude awakening when she parts ways with her best friend. She makes her way to Washington D.C. before finally running into a group of survivors, but is she in for more than she bargained for? Will she slowly lose her mind in this lonely world of devastation and no hope?

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4. Not Heartless

   In the few weeks I had been there, a lot had changed for me. I was no longer alone, I was safe, I had shelter. Even though there were no beds in the place, there were tons of blankets, and let me tell you, it's a hell of a lot more comfortable than solid ground. Apparently, I was trusted enough to keep track of everything they'd...'gained.' I learned a long time ago that 'gained' means stolen. While these people may seem like they were patients at an insane asylum pre-apocalypse, they had something going here.          
   They were protected from outsiders due to their traps outside, they had plenty of food and plenty of weapons. Is there really anything more a girl could ask for? 
   Although, there was one thing that was truly getting to me..he hasn't talked to me since that day. Alpha was one of my only reasons for living right now, while I did have a friend pre-shitstorm, she's probably dead now. He was the only person I had right now..and he's ignoring me. 
  'He's probably busy. REALLY busy. He is the leader after all.' I would try to reassure myself as I sorted through the stolen goods. I shook my head at the thought. While yes, he would take me with him when on supply runs, other than that I was ignored. 
   Looking at my records, everything seemed to be in order. Then, something caught my eye. Quickly, I grabbed the small packet on the corner of the shelf and examined it. A packet of Juicy Fruit gum! The pack was still wrapped, a little dusty, but still good by the looks of it. 
  Shakily, I closed my small, black notebook and walked down the hallway with the packet of gum. I wasn't going to steal it, I was going to the only person I'd be comfortable asking.
  "H-hey.." I asked through the crack of the door, my head peaking through. He turned around, a slight smirk appeared on his face when he realized it was me.
  "I saw this..." I started while digging the package of gum out of my pocket, holding up the small, yellow package.
  "On one of the shelves..and it wasn't documented..so I was wondering if..I could..have it?" I questioned. He only smiled at this, looking down for a brief moment before looking at me again.
  "Yes. It's actually for you." He stated in an amused tone. I only blinked as a response, I didn't know how to respond. I was extremely confused.
  "I heard you talking to yourself about how much you missed gum. I remembered how amazing Juicy Fruit used to be..and I got it for you." He explained. I looked down at the package in my hand and a small smile had formed on my lips. 
  "Although." His voice brought me out of my trance.
  "I told Edward to give it to you the other day. Hm." He hummed to himself before turning back around. I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. There was always something about this man that had me speechless. Whether it was something he did or something he said, it always had me at a loss for words.
  I thought I loved him before, but I was wrong. There was always something about him that makes me fall deeper in love with him..and it was driving me crazy that he was ignoring me. 
  It was a split second decision, and a stupid one, but I could help it. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his. The most surprising parts of the past few years was about to happen..he actually kissed me back. He wrapped his arms around my waist and broke the kiss, staring at me.
  "We're going on another run today.." He muttered. I nodded absentmindedly, not really hearing what he was saying due to the haze the kiss had me in.
  "So you'll come with me?" He asked, immediately snapping me out of it. I nodded quickly.
  "Yes. Yeah..I'll go." I told him as I backed toward the door. He smiled at me as I tumbled out of the room, going off into the armory to grab something to defend myself with. 
  The only thing I managed to grab was a hunting knife. The guns we had were mainly for show, to get people to give up their stuff quicker, but, truthfully, we were out of ammo. Sadly, when we'd find ammo, they'd use it up. They didn't realize that we had to conserve it until we had a good amount, but, who wants to listen to my suggestions..it could just save our lives one day. 
   Chasing away all sarcastic thoughts, I walked to the crowd of people gathered around the table. I stood in the back, where I couldn't see the detailed plan Alpha Wolf had laid out. All I heard was muttering from the table and a sigh from someone behind me.
  "Hon..you should just stay behind. There's no way you're gonna get a glimpse of that plan." The feminine voice said. I turned around and laid my eyes upon a woman who seemed to be only a few years older than me. She was fair-skinned with crimson hair and green eyes. 
  "My names Pam." She drawled. I flashed a small, quick smile before turning back around.
  "Wait a minute." Pam started again.
  "Are you that girl that came in here thinking she could sneak in before killing Gary? The one that impressed Alpha W?" She inquired skeptically. I arched an eyebrow.
  "His name was Gary? Sorry, didn't get to exchange formalities." I laughed to myself while shrugging. Then it set in. The thing I should actually be wasting breath talking about. I impressed him. 
  The men around the table began to leave and I waved to Pam, saying goodbye. She shook her head and muttered to herself before turning around and heading to where the makeshift gardens were. 
   A few days later, we had found ourselves in a nice little gated community. The entire journey there I stayed next to Alpha Wolf. There was no way in hell I was leaving his side. Some nights, I found myself restless. I stayed up those nights, watching over him. 
  "Who-" The man at the gate hardly had any time to answer, I stepped in front of Alpha and slit the man's throat before pulling the gate open. I felt a gust of wind rush from behind me as the men around me ran off. People began to take out matches, setting the yards on fire, while others began brutally stabbing innocent bystanders. 
  Careful to not draw any attention from the current inhabitants of the home, I rummaged through their things. I found a whole bunch of food that did not require refrigeration, batteries, and a few guns, all loaded. I felt proud of my findings. I went upstairs, to check for more guns, maybe a couple of blankets..but I was greeted by a young girl. 
  Her brown eyes wide with fear and her skin pale. She clutched onto a blanket in her hand. I stopped dead in my tracks. 
  "W-who are-" She stopped as she looked behind me. Clearly whoever was behind me was taller, cause her head was slightly tilted more than it was when she was staring at me. 
  Alpha Wolf had stepped out from behind me, knife raised as he grabbed onto her arm and bent down to her level. She let out a shriek that caused me to act.
  "N-no!" I shouted, grabbing onto his arm. He looked up at me slowly.
  "Y-you can't kill her. Please." He shook his head and sighed.
  "Jean.." He starts. I furrow my eyebrows and stare at him sternly.
  "Everyone here is dead. They'll turn sooner or later. Killing her is for the best, we both know she won't survive out there, nor will she survive in here." He explains. Tears filled my eyes as I nodded. He sighs and gestures for someone to come to him.
  "Edward..please take care of this." He orders as he walks to me. Tears had finally escaped my eyes as he wrapped his arms around me, turning me around so I was facing the wall and he was holding me from the side. I took a shaky breath as he kissed my temple. 
  "Close your eyes." He whispered. I did as he said, but my closed eyes weren't going to help muffle or even silence the bloodcurdling scream that came from the little one. It really was for the best though, cause within these few weeks, I had gotten to know these people and their leader, and I knew that Alpha Wolf wouldn't have allowed me to take her back with me. She was too young and could get us all killed if she were to make a mistake. 
  It truly was a mercy killing.

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