Titanium

Titanium: strong hearted; strong
After eight years of ongoing battles between relationships, love and war, Violet and Luke are back. Changes have been made to their life, people have been added, mistakes have happened and love has changed. They have changed. But with every battle they fight and with every obstacle they are thrown into, they become titanium.

9Likes
4Comments
4756Views
AA

9. Chapter Nine

Again, for this chapter, listen to the song Hero by Enrique Iglesias.

I covered Ryan more with my only blanket and held him closer to my chest. The wind blew my hair around my face but I didn't care. The only thing on my mind was the fact that I'm sleeping outside, on a bench, in a park with my newborn baby. My baby who should be living in a home, in his crib nice and warm. But instead, he has this.

"I didn't want this life for you, baby." I whispered, pressing my lips to his head. God, I'm such a terrible mother. He shouldn't be living with me right now, I'm not capable of doing this on my own. I can't give him the life I wanted him to have. I can't even give myself a good life.

"Just great!" I yelled as the rain poured down on me. I took a deep breath and pulled the blanket over Ryan's head to shield him from the rain. As for me, I took it with everything I have. I shivered, chattered, screamed, everything.

"Violet!" I looked up. In the rain, a truck sat across the park from me. An old beaten up truck. Whoever it is knows who I am. The person came out of the truck and ran across the wood chips over to me.

"Violet, it's Andrew," I looked up to him and shivered more.

"Come on, let's get you some shelter." He guided me towards his truck while holding the diaper bag. Ryan's head continued to be covered with the blanket and his body shielded by my shirt.

"Okay," Andrew whispered, blasting the heat in his truck. He grabbed a jacket from the back and wrapped it around my shoulders, trying to get me warm.

"What happened, Violet?"

"You don't know?" I asked, looking over to him. He shook his head.

"I... I don't even know. One second I was fighting with Luke and the next I woke up in my bed and Luke was gone. And then today, I got kicked out. I don't remember anything from what happened the other night. All I know is that Luke ratted me out to my parents about me meeting up with Xander to save myself and they kicked me out for it." He nodded and drove off, my guess, to his house.

"I'm a terrible mother, you know? I can't keep a steady job, a home, hell, I can't keep a boyfriend. Everything I do is for Ryan and it just blows up in my face every single time,"

"Violet, you're all this kid has right now. You're trying your best to work with what you have and trying to cope with what you and what he is. It's hard, trust me, I know. And it's a challenge for someone as young as you are but if you ask me, I think you're doing a great job. Any mother in your position right now would've left their kid out in the cold and ran away. But you didn't. You're a fighter and you're not backing down from anything."

"Why did you come to find me?" By now, my hands were starting to thaw out and I got the feeling back in my body. My hair, still dropped wet though. Ryan squirmed a little in my arms, but never once woke up.

"Luke was worried about you. He heard your thoughts and told me where he thought you were. He didn't want to come because he wanted you to get in the car."

"He only cares about Ryan, Mr. Hemmings,"

"Does he? I didn't tell you this, but I heard a conversation he had with Chloe the other day. About you. And about how you're always going to be first with him, no matter what. He told her if she didn't accept that than they don't belong together," I nodded not wanting to think about anything else.

"You're more than welcome to stay in the guest room for as long as you like. Um, make yourself at home, you know where everything is. I have work in the morning but you're more than welcome to stay in and relax," I nodded and watched as Mrs. Hemmings put the sheet over the guest room's bed.

"Thank you," I whispered, drying my hair off with the towel. When we first walked in, Mrs. Hemmings stood in the doorway with a towel in her hands and a fresh set of clothes for me to change into. She plowed me with blankets and with heat and she covered Ryan with Luke's old baby clothes, his old red and white striped pajamas.

"I'm sorry that I don't have a crib or anything but the bed is big enough,"

"It's okay, this is... this is just enough for us."

"Alright, well, you know where I'll be if you need anything," I nodded and watched as she left the room, leaving the door open in case I needed something from downstairs.

"Mrs. Hemmings," I called. She turned around to me with sad eyes.

"If you don't mind, can we... talk?"

She smiled a small, sad smile, "of course,"

Luke's POV

"I don't understand why she's here right now, Luke," Chloe whispered, walking around my bedroom.

"She had nowhere else to go, Chlo. I couldn't leave her on the streets with a newborn."

"Um, you could've, yes. She's your ex girlfriend, Luke. And she's still madly in love with you. It worries me that she's staying here with you. What if she tries something with you, huh? Then what?"

"She hates me, Chlo. She isn't trying anything on me and she never would. She used to love me but now, I'm not so sure. And again, I've told you this before s-"

"She comes first in your life. I know. But what about me? What about us, Luke? Will I ever come first to you? What about when we have kids? Will you put Violet before our kids?"

"Chloe, you need to understand the situation I'm in right now. There will be no future for us if she lives out in the freezing cold in the park because she'll die. And guess what? I die. That's why she comes first to me. We've talked about this before, plenty of times. And you need to understand what happens. And you need to understand I'm nothing without her and she's nothing without me."

"And what about us?"

"There will always be an us, Chlo. I love you, okay? But you need to get it through your mind that I love you and I want you here with me." She nodded and sighed.

"I'm a terrible mother, Mrs. Hemmings. I can't even take care of my own kid. He deserves so much better than me right now. He deserves to be happy. And I can't give him that." I walked to my bedroom door and leaned against it. Best part about having a house with thin walls? You hear everything.

"He doesn't even have a father and pretty soon, he won't have a mother. And... I just can't be the mother I wanted to be. I mean, I got kicked out of my own parent's home today. He doesn't even have a stable home to live in." I looked down to the hardwood floor.

"Well, I think you should take a look at everything he has. He has a mother who loves him, a family, even if they aren't talking to you right now, but he has us. He has aunts and uncles. He has a roof over his head and food and a mother who loves him so much. That's all he needs, Violet," my mum said.

"I can't take care of him, Mrs. Hemmings. Not by myself. Not in the state I'm in right now. I can just feel the old me coming through and I don't want that. I don't want to go back to that state. I can't go back to that."

"Do you want to be alone?" Mum asked.

"I don't think I can be alone right now,"

"Luke," Chloe whispered, putting her arms around my waist.

"I'll be right back,"

"Luke-"

"She comes first, remember," I walked to the doorway of the guest room just next door to me. Sitting on the bed was Violet cradling Ryan in her arms with tears streaming down her red, puffy cheeks.

"Luke, no," mum said shaking her head.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. Violet shook her head.

"I shouldn't have said anything. I was trying to protect you from getting hurt by getting let down by Xander. And it blew up in my face,"

"You," Violet looked up to the ceiling, "you did what I couldn't do or say."

"I didn't know the consequences would be this bad,"

"I'll go make some tea and get you some food," mum whispered, rubbing Violet's leg. Violet nodded and pulled her knees up to her chest and rested Ryan on the top of her knees.

"Do you need anything?" I asked, sitting on the bed. She shook her head and looked down to Ryan.

"It happened once before, you know?"

"What happened?" I asked.

"It was right before I found out about Ryan. A week before I found out. I was brought to the hospital and I found out I was pregnant. After that, I promised I would never let myself get into that state. I promised myself I would... make myself the happiest girl in the world so I could keep myself from ever getting back to who I was. But there was so many... problems, you know? James and his drugs. There were pills and baggies of things in the apartment. Hidden in every cabinet, every pillow."

"You went back to your old self?" She nodded.

"There was a crib in the extra room where Ryan was supposed to sleep. And there... there were baggies and everything all over the place. My baby, this baby, was going to sleep on god knows what." She shook her head and looked up to the ceiling.

"I promised myself after that, that I would do everything I could to rest happy, to be the best mum I could ever be. Which is why I met up with Xander. I didn't do it for me, I did it for Ryan. If I go anywhere, he'll be in the system."

"I'm sorry," each time I say it, it gets harder and harder each time. I feel like that's all I say these days. Everyday I'm apologizing to Chloe, to Violet to my parents.

"It is all you say-I'm sorry. And you know, Chloe is a great girl and you deserve her. She loves you so much." Violet said, finally meeting my eyes.

"I love her the same way. But you come first to me. You were right- when you said I turn my back on you. I did one time, back when I first started dating Chloe, no, when she first came into the picture. I turned my back and you did some things that I didn't like. And I turned it on you again and again." She nodded and sat against the wall.

"Thank you - for telling your dad to come get me." I nodded and stood up.

"Luke," I turned to her, "don't break things off with Chloe because of me. I would never forgive myself. I'm giving you the chance like you did with James. She's great for you, really." I nodded and walked out of the room and let out a deep breath I didn't know I was holding. That was the hardest talk I've ever had to go through and I've been through many.

"Luke," I turned back towards the guest room with tired and sad eyes. The emotion running through my body is unbearable and to the point where I can't take it anymore. It's making me tired, draining me. Too many emotions for one person to handle. If I feel this way, Violet must have it so much worse. Her emotions are actually in her mind. Mine are rushing through my body. Hers aren't draining anything. Mine, however are.

"Can you stay with me? I'm... I'm scared to be alone right now." I nodded and walked back into her room. She's called me her savior, her own savior once before, I wonder if I still am. Violet nodded and laid down on the bed with Ryan on her chest and me next to her.

Join MovellasFind out what all the buzz is about. Join now to start sharing your creativity and passion
Loading ...