Titanium

Titanium: strong hearted; strong
After eight years of ongoing battles between relationships, love and war, Violet and Luke are back. Changes have been made to their life, people have been added, mistakes have happened and love has changed. They have changed. But with every battle they fight and with every obstacle they are thrown into, they become titanium.

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11. Chapter Eleven

For the last part of the chapter, listen to Wherever I go by Miley Cyrus.

Luke, Chloe, and I sat in the waiting room of the doctors office, waiting for me to be called. Ryan rested soundly on my shoulder, not making a single peep or movement. If I wasn't for the breaths on my neck, I would think he wasn't breathing.

"You guys can stay out here if you want. I'll be in and out," Chloe nodded and flipped through the pages of a informational baby magazine, the magazines I became friendly with during the nine months of coming here and having to sit in this room for hours. That's how I really first found out about my pregnancy, I had all the signs. Is Chloe pregnant herself?

"No!" Luke yelled, looking to me. I put my free hand up in defense.

"What?" Chloe asked, putting her hand on Luke's arm.

"N-nothing, don't worry about it," he replied. She nodded and went back to reading the magazine. I watched her and watched as she flipped the pages, the way her facial expressions changed. Come to think of it, she has gained a little weight.

"Stop it, Violet,"

"I'm not doing anything! I'm thinking."

"Stop thinking. And stop assuming. I hear the thoughts and I'm not liking it,"

"Excuse me for being curious,"

"Curiosity killed the cat," Chloe whispered.

"I'll come in," Luke said, making Chloe put the magazine on her lap.

"You really don't have to. He's getting a check up and that's all,"

"Yeah, Luke, you really don't have to," Chloe said.

"I want to. Violet, you said so yourself that I'm the closest thing Ryan has to a father."

"How nice," Chloe grinned, hiding her jealousy. Jealousy looks really ugly on her, the way her teeth clench and the rolls that come through on her forehead. It's not a pretty sight. She kind of looks like my grandma a little when that happens -when the jealousy comes through.

"Violet,"

"I was being nice."

"No you weren't. And don't compare things to your grandma. She's a very nice lady,"

"If you have something to say, say it to my face instead of thinking it."

"My grandma's six feet under," I said. Luke groaned and threw his head against the wall, literally, against the wall.

"Hey! That wasn't nice! Walls are hard, you know!" I yelled.

"Then stop or I'll do it again."

"What are you, my dad?" He hit his head against the wall, once again. "Okay, if I wake up with bruises and a pounding headache, I'm coming to you,"

"And do what? Hurt me?"

"I... well, ugh,"

"Ryan Carson," I looked up to the nurse and smiled. I kept my hand on Ryan's back and stood up while Luke followed me. "Second door on the left, the doctor will be right there. And he also wants to see you as well, to make sure everything is going fine."

"Thank you," I smiled, walking into the second door. Luke closed the door behind him and sat in the chair against the wall. More walls.

"I'm sorry," I sighed.

"For?" He asked, looking at me.

"Oh come on, don't make me say what for,"

"I'm making you say what for," I groaned.

"I'm sorry for assuming the worst of Chloe," I sighed.

"Apology accepted,"

"Hello, Violet. Everything going fine?" My doctor asked as he walked into the room.

"Yes, actually. Perfect," I smiled, setting Ryan in my arms now. He nodded and took my baby from me, making Luke stand up in protection.

"Relax, he's doing measurements," I whispered.

"Are you the father?"

"No," I replied, all too quickly.

"I'm the uncle. His father isn't in the picture." Luke explained. He nodded and continued to weigh and measure Ryan.

"For almost a month old baby, he isn't weighing much. Have you been feeding him?" With all the money I have in my pocket, I feed him more than I feed myself. Luke looked down to the tiled floor, my guess, reading my thought.

"Yes, everyday, all the time," I replied.

"He's growing just fine, he's healthy, there's no problems with anything. You're doing everything right," he said, putting Ryan back in my arms.

"Since I know you're condition, I would hope you have a stable living condition?"

"What does that matter?" Luke asked.

"For a newborn, surroundings is everything. He needs to get familiar with the home and the people who will be his parents. He needs a place to attach himself to, to feel safe almost."

"Yes, we have a stable living condition."

"Then I guess that's all, any questions?"

"Yes, actually. Um, so he has my genes in him and my family, my mum's side and I carry a... sickness. Would that sickness be passed onto Ryan?" I asked.

"If it's a dominant gene, then yes my guess is if every woman in your family has it, then it's a rare chance of him getting it. But if it's with every person in your family, your mum, her family, your siblings, then there's a high chance of him getting that." He explained. I nodded.

"Is that all?" He asked.

"I believe so," I smiled. He nodded and left the room, leaving Luke and I alone. I settled Ryan in my arms as he slept soundly. I swear, if this kid doesn't take after James, I don't know who will. It's crazy how he sleeps all day and that's what James did. Granted, Ryan is a baby, but he's a heavy sleeper.

"Ready?" Luke asked. Chloe nodded and put the magazine down on the table with the rest of them. I looked down to her belly and back up to her. Still, I wonder if she's pregnant.

"Violet," Luke warned.

"You're so annoying. I can't even make assumptions without hearing my name being called from you,"

"That's because your assumptions are wrong."

"Are they?"

"Yes, now apologize, again,"

"I'm sorry. Again," I'm sorry that she would be a horrible mother one day.

"Violet!" Luke yelled, slamming his hand down on the hood of the car. I flinched back in freight as the impact shook the entire car, rattled every single car in the parking lot.

I groaned as Ryan woke up. "See what you do? You made him wake up," I said, pointing to Luke.

"I'm done, Violet. That crossed the line and you know it. We all had our assumptions about you, too, you know. We didn't think you could do it," I looked down to the gravel lot.

"I guess your assumptions were right. Because I can't do it." I said, closing the door to the car behind me. I didn't care about what he had to say, all I cared was that I was away from him, for now. Until he gets in the car.

"God, her emotions are all over the place," Luke said as he opened the drivers side door. "Violet, calm down," I held onto the car seat tightly, sinking my nails into my skin.

"Ouch, Vi, stop," Luke said. I pressed harder into my skin and watched as the blood drew from my palm.

"Violet! Stop!" Luke yelled, grabbing my wrists. I looked up at him.

"Get your hands off of me. Don't touch me,"

"You asked for it,"

"Don't forget I can flip this car over in point two seconds. So either let go of me or have me flip the car over," he nodded and let me go. Chloe looked over to Luke, put her hand on his arm and sighed. Luke shook his head and looked at the road as he drove to his house. I wiped the tear from my cheek, the only single tear. The only tear I'll ever let fall. He won't see me cry, he won't see my tears. Not anymore.

I put the remainder of my clothes in the suitcase on the guest bed and sighed. I'm officially a gypsy, I'm a homeless, single mother gypsy. But as long as I'm in this house with Luke, I'm not only risking Ryan's life but I'm risking mine. The emotions running through my body every day and every night is unbearable. The lack of sleep I get because I'm tossing and turning isn't good for me. The amount of medication I'm on isn't good for me either, especially now with my emotions sky rocketing.

"Where are you going?" Luke asked, making himself known at the foot of the bedroom.

"I'm going to live with Leo in his apartment," I replied, closing my suitcase.

"But why?" He asked, sounding like a child.

"Because I can't live here anymore, Luke. That's why. I can't... put this show on anymore. I can't keep myself a secret to anyone and I can't be walked over like a doormat. And I won't take it anymore. I won't keep my pills a secret anymore

"Pills? What pills?"

"Exactly. Luke, I'm sorry but I can't stay here anymore. I'm making the decision based off of my child and this isn't right for him," he nodded. "Don't make the face, please. Don't make me feel anymore worse than I do already,"

"Why are you leaving?"

"I told you,"

"That's a bullshit answer and you know it. Why are you leaving? And I won't ask it again."

"Because I'm caught in between my love life and my baby, Luke. You know I love you and I know I love you but I also love my baby. And the way I think of it is, who needs me more? The man I love who will never love me back? Or my newborn baby boy who can't depend on himself? I'll put you first, Luke, but Ryan always comes first in my heart. Always."

"And what about training? What about us?"

"There was never and us, Luke. I just sat around and waited like a hopeless case for you to see that I'm here and that I'm madly in love with you. But you never did. You used me as a rebound and you always will. And as for training, Leo is a trainer,"

"I never used you," he whispered.

"You did, Luke. But it's okay because I'm over it now. I'm done and I don't need a man in my life to make me happy. So, I'll see you around," he nodded and moved out of my way. Not fighting for me, not stopping me. If he stopped me right now and told me the things I wanted to hear, then maybe I would stay. But nothing came out of his mouth. But his thoughts were swirling around my head.

"I need to get out before I do something stupid, to answer your thoughts," I whispered. At the end of the day, Luke is always the person to either fill me up with love and make me feel so special or the person to break down every single piece of hope, love and trust I have in my body.

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