Titanium

Titanium: strong hearted; strong
After eight years of ongoing battles between relationships, love and war, Violet and Luke are back. Changes have been made to their life, people have been added, mistakes have happened and love has changed. They have changed. But with every battle they fight and with every obstacle they are thrown into, they become titanium.

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18. Chapter Eighteen

Get ready for a vulnerable Violet and a protective Luke. And finally, the truth about what happened when Violet and James were together.

"This is absolutely insane, you know that?" Luke asked as we walked down the hallway with our visitor badges on.

"I'm an insane person. And plus, he has a point. He is Ryan's father."

"If he wanted to be a real father, he would've stayed in his life," I shrugged and froze in the doorway of the meeting room as James came into view.

"Violet, if this makes you uncomfortable, we can leave," Luke whispered.

"No, I'm doing this for Ryan so he can see what a lowlife his father is," he nodded and walked with me in the room. I tightened my grip on the car seat.

"Vio, baby, I'm so happy to see you," James smiled as he stood up.

"Yeah," I whispered.

"Would you like lunch? On days like this, the cafeteria makes fresh sandwiches. This one is, I think, ham and cheese,"

"No thanks, but thank you," I replied. Luke put his hand on my knee and rubbed it, making his presence known to me, even though I could feel it.

"Can I see him?" James asked. I nodded to Luke and watched as he took Ryan out of his car seat. James smiled widely and reached his hands out to take him.

"Luke," I warned. He sighed and handed Ryan to James. He smiled as he held his son in his arms.

"What's his name?"

"Ryan. And he didn't take your last name. He has mine,"

"Why not mine?" He asked, looking up to me.

"In all due respect, I don't want my son to have the same last name as his father who's in prison for drugs." I replied. He nodded and continued to smile at Ryan in his arms.

"Look, I'm sorry for everything I've done in the past. I hate myself everyday for it," I sighed and looked down to my chipped nails. "Everything I did to you... it replays in my mind every time I close my eyes," I closed my eyes and replayed all the months I lived with James. All the fighting and the making up. I was emotionally wrecked. Luke looked over to me and I shook my head. Not here and not know.

"He looks like me," James smiled. "He has your eyes," he whispered, looking up to me.

"Visiting time is over," the guard said. I sunk into my seat in relief. I did it, I did thirty minutes sitting in front of this man.

"It was great to see you, Vio. I would love to do it again,"

"I told you, James. One time and you see me and you meet Ryan. And after that, you don't call or reach out to me," he nodded and stood up. He handed Ryan to Luke and nodded at him.

"What was that, Vi?"

"Nothing," I whispered.

"Violet, tell me what he meant,"

"He's crazy, Luke. He says things," I lied, shaking my head. Luke pulled over on the side of the road and pulled the keys out of the ignition.

"I'm not starting this car up until you tell me the truth. Until you tell me what happened when you were with him,"

"Luke, I can't. Not in the car,"

"Now isn't the time to sugarcoat me, Violet. I just got out of a relationship and this is just piling onto anger. I don't want anymore lies,"

I sighed and nodded, "he would be on drugs, you know? He would come home drugged up and probably high and who knows what else. I would wait up for him, you know? Things any other concerned girlfriend would. He would come home stumbling in the door,"

"There were some days where he was good, you know? Nice and all. But then, we could get into a fight and he would go out. He would come home late at night and he would..." I closed my eyes as the memories sunk in. The fighting. The screaming. The hitting. The punching. The bruises. The tears.

"How long was this going on for?" Luke asked. I closed my eyes and turned myself off to Luke. He doesn't need to feel the hurt and the pain in my chest. Not right now. He doesn't need to feel the vulnerability I feel. He needs to feel what he wants to feel.

"After he got out of therapy until the day I told him I was pregnant. He was so happy for so long and that all just... disappeared,"

"That was months long, Vi. Months. Why didn't you say anything to anyone?"

"I was scared," I shrugged as my tears fell down my cheeks and fell off of my chin onto my neck. The wetness of the tears soaked the collar of my shirt, making it a shade of dark blue. Luke's originally piercing blue eyes were now a dark shade, clearly angry. "I didn't want to believe I was going through that. I didn't want to believe I was like one of the girls in those tragic romance novels. I didn't want people to see me differently. I didn't... I didn't want you to be angry and do something stupid."

"Did you ever tell anyone this?" He asked.

"No, and you can't either. You can't tell anybody. Luke, you have to promise me," I sobbed.

"Tell me one thing," he whispered. I choked on my own tears. "Where did the scars come from?"

I shook my head, "not the scars, Luke. The tattoos. The tattoos cover the evidence."

"Where else are there tattoos?" He asked. I pointed to various parts of my body.

"The scars are from missions. The tattoos aren't," I put my head down and cried harder.

"I'm so sorry, Luke. I... I'm sorry," I cried, keeping my head down. "I should've told you what was going on, I should've kept my guard up to him."

"Vio-"

"Please, don't call me that. Please, don't. That's what he calls me and I... I hate that name,"

"Violet, if he was doing this to you, then why did you ever suggest marrying him?" He asked.

"I was pregnant with his baby and I... I wanted to be in love. I wanted to prove I could be capable of loving someone besides you. I wanted to have someone love me back,"

"Is this why you don't like Ryan looking like James? Because it brings back the memories?" I nodded and peeled off the remaining nail polish on my nails as more tears soaked my shirt. I closed my eyes once again and opened myself back up to Luke, giving him the emotions and the thoughts in one motion.

"Who knows about this, Vi?"

"Leo and um, Kylie and my parents. And now you," I whispered. As weird as it sounds, Kylie knows about everything that happened in my past since she was with Leo at the time. Once Leo found out about everything that was going on, he drove over to the old apartment and beat the hell out of James. Leo was the one who sobered James up quickly. The first punch brought him down and it picked him back up as well. I didn't fight James back, I never could. I was too involved in our relationship, that I couldn't see what was going on right in front of my own eyes. I turned into one of those girls who are in the tragic romance novels. I was in an abusive relationship. I was being emotionally drained and damaged. I covered up every single piece of evidence with my tattoos and I tried so hard to forget about everything I went through and I did, until now. Until I saw James again.

"Let's get you home," Luke whispered, turning the car back on. I nodded and wiped my tears.

"Luke, can you stay with me tonight?"

"Of course. Just let me get you home, alright?" I nodded and sighed. It's been a long day.

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