Insomnia | Joshler

Josh's college roommate has insomnia.
He's also pretty freaking hot.

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15. A Jar of Pills and Regrets

Trigger warning: Suicide attempt/thoughts

It seemed unlikely now that Josh would want to sleep with him again. Tyler could envision the conversation, his disgusted expression, his cautious voice... It was all to much. 

He was lying on his side on his bed, back to Josh's side of the room, facing his wall. It was covered in blink 182 and death cab for cutie posters. An arrangement of thoughtfully placed cut outs of band members from his other favorite bands framed the posters, mostly consisting of Gerard Way and Frank Iero from My Chemical Romance(Who he totally shipped). Tears streamed down his face and his pillow was damp because of this. He observed his wall through watery eyes, which made it all blurry. It reminded him of how the world looked when he squinted his eyes-not quite right. 

He let out a little sob and shuddered, rolling onto his back. 

It was only the beginning of college, and he'd already fucked up.

you can say that again.

Tyler almost jumped at the all to familiar, sinister voice ringing in his ears.

B-Blurry?

Who else?

I thought... I thought you had...

You thought I was gone?

Well, more like you were on hiatus...

I never left. I never will.

But Josh says-

Josh isn't here to protect you anymore. Josh hates you.

Tyler wished he didn't believe him. But it was true. 

You should just end it now, Tyler. 

Tyler hesitated.

Should he?

Yes, Blurry replied.

"But I like living." Tyler was speaking out loud now. It wasn't like there was anyone around, anyway.

You won't soon. And you didn't before Josh decided to sleep with you. Don't you miss that? Don't you want to get out of here? It's the only way to escape me, and you know it. 

Tyler nodded bleakly.

Come on, do it, then. Josh will be here soon.

Blurry was right, he would have to come back at some point. Tyler stood and made his way over to the bathroom. He opened up the medicine cabinet slowly, taking his bottle of anti depressants in a trance-like state. He opened up the bottle, hands shaking. 

Then he shoved two in at a time.

Four, six, eight, ten, twelve...

It wasn't long before his head was too heavy to count anymore. He stumbled to his bed, wrapping himself in his comforter which was uncomfortably cool. His eyelids were heavy, his body was light as a feather. He was embraced in sleep.

He felt Blurryface smile.

 

A/N: Sry 4 the cliff hanger 

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