Break On Me

"Maybe it's not about the happy ending.. Maybe it's about the story."

Sometimes it’s hard to accept what is, and it’s hard to go along with something even though you know you could do better.. But how come it’s so easy to slip up? So easy to say the wrong thing, use the wrong words, or even make the wrong moves? Sometimes we just all need to break.. in more ways than just mentally. I want you to know, that no matter what, I will always be here for you.. whether you like it or not, if you want me here or if you want me to live.. If you love me, or if you hate.. You can always break on me baby.


We loose ourselves in the things we love, we find ourselves there too..


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64. Chapter 063

  //Harry//

I jump in my skin at the sudden yell of my name leaving Emmy’s mouth. I stand up quickly from my chair. The nurse runs over to me and offers to take Katie, so I hand her over to her. My mind is so confused – what’s wrong with her? Within seconds I feel a stabbing pain my chest.
“No.” I whisper out in the air. Emmy starts to scream out, the stabbing continues, over and over again, harder each time.
“No. God.. no.” I run over to the bathroom door and turn the handle, thankful that it wasn’t locked.
“Harry!” Emmy yells again just as I get the door open. I drop to my knees as my eyes witness the sight before me. Emmy is on the floor, her head dropped low as her hands run through the blood that was covering the tiled floor as she was attempting to gather it all up, but she couldn’t.
“Harry! God no.. no, no.  NO!” Emmy screams at the top of her lungs.
My heart falls to my stomach, if anyone was listening closely they would have heard it shatter when it dropped – I didn’t hear it, but I damn sure felt it.
“Oh my God.. no..” I mumble the words to myself as I feel tears falling from my eyes. Behind me I can hear the sound of Katie crying – most likely because Emmy is screaming and she hates loud noises – mixed with the nurse’s yells for help.
“No, my baby’s gone.. God.. no.. no.” Emmy’s voice isn’t as loud anymore, but her tears don’t stop. I can’t find any words to say as I stare at what was supposed to be a happy thing, something to brighten our future but now it’s all gone.
“Our baby’s…” Emmy stops her voice as looks over at me, her eyes red, her cheeks flustered from crying, her hair a mess – she’s all covered in blood.
“Our baby’s gone.” She mouths the words to me as if she couldn’t speak anymore, which right now isn’t shocking to me.
I felt my lip quivering as I watched her fall apart in front me. I begin to feel that stabbing pain all over my body, my chest literally aching as I stare at the blood on the floor.
Emmy starts to scream again, in pain – and trust me when I say I feel every bit of that pain. My shirt soaks up most of the falling tears, but nothing will be able to soak up this damn pain – this hurt, this guilt building up in my body. This is all my fault.
“It’s my fault.. I.. it’s all my fault.” I let the words slip past my lips just as a I hear the commotion in the room – nurses and Emmy’s doctor rushing past me.
There’s three of them and they’re all trying to reach out to her and help her up but she’s pushing them away. I hurry to my feet and make the short walk to them. Somehow I find the strength, the courage, to stand and move my body forward when all I want to do is go back to earlier in the day and suggest staying at the hotel. But I can’t do that, I can’t do anything. Nothing’s okay anymore. Everything is breaking, my heart, Emmy’s heart.. everything is falling apart.
And I can’t pick up the pieces quick enough anymore. I can’t fix this. I can’t do a god damn thing.
I push past the two nurses and kneel down in front of her, trying so hard not to stare at the blood covered floor, or the blood soaked up in her hospital gown, or her red stained hands.
“Emmy.. I-” My words are cut off when she uses all of her force to thrust her hands against my chest, pushing me away from her.
“This all your fault!” She yells at me as she puts her hands on her stomach. I shake my head lightly from side to side, I need her to hear what I have to say before she yells again.
“You did this!” She screams again at me.
“Ms. Matthews, ple-” The doctor was cut off by her.
“I fucking hate you! You killed our baby! I  hate you!” Emmy’s voice gets louder as she covers her face with her hands. Her words cut me like a knife, but I know every damn word is fucking true. I ruined this all, I’ve ruined our lives. I fucked up again, but this time worse.
There’s nothing I can do this time. Not a damn thing.
“I know! I fucking know baby! And I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry.” I cry out to her as I reach my feet again, tears falling rapidly from the both of us.
“Harry..” Emmy stops screaming all of a sudden, her voice is gentle as she says my name. I look down to her to see she’s holding her hand out to me, her eyes burning into mine. I grab her hand and pull her up, my other hand grabbing her waist as she gets to her feet.
“Harry..” She mumbles my name again as she stumbles a little, her body hitting mine. She drops my hand and throws her arms around my torso, squeezing me tight.
“Our baby’s gone.” She cries into my chest. My hand presses against the back of her head, holding her against me. My arm goes around her back, trying my best to keep her in my possession, make sure she’s steady and balanced.
I close my eyes tight, resting my chin on top of Emmy’s head. Our little baby is gone, it’s gone.
“Shhh..” I try to calm her down by rubbing circles into her back, but I know it won’t work this time. Nothing will work, nothing can fix this. Not a damn thing in the world can make this any better.
Nothing.    
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