Break On Me

"Maybe it's not about the happy ending.. Maybe it's about the story."

Sometimes it’s hard to accept what is, and it’s hard to go along with something even though you know you could do better.. But how come it’s so easy to slip up? So easy to say the wrong thing, use the wrong words, or even make the wrong moves? Sometimes we just all need to break.. in more ways than just mentally. I want you to know, that no matter what, I will always be here for you.. whether you like it or not, if you want me here or if you want me to live.. If you love me, or if you hate.. You can always break on me baby.

We loose ourselves in the things we love, we find ourselves there too..


62. Chapter 061


I shift lightly in the bed as I hear the door creak open. “Ms. Matthews,” My nurse, Macy, says with a smile as she pulls the curtain back just a little and steps into the enclosed space in the room. They had a curtain hanging from the ceiling so that no one can see me through the window in the door. She’s a few years older than me, maybe older than Harry – but not by much. “Yes?” I ask with a soft smile, as much as I could give her right now.
“Are you accepting visitors?” She asks, glancing over her shoulder.
“Who-” I stop myself as I let out a few coughs, trying to clear my throat. “Who is it?’’ I ask in a whisper, my throat soar from my tantrum earlier.
I had a panic attack as well, nothing new for me though. I just woke up suddenly and I didn’t know where I was at. And then all I could think about was Katie and if she was okay or not. I haven’t seen my little doddle bug yet, and it’s killing me with every second.
“Your daughter.” She says with a light laugh as I hear some baby talk behind the curtain.
“Katie.” I breathe out with a smile, giving her a few rapid nods to answer her question. I lean up, pressing my hand into the mattress to hold myself up, I’m not completely fresh and new just yet.
Macy opens the curtain a little more and I nearly explode in joy as I see my baby girl in her daddy’s arms. Her head turns slightly and she notices me.
“Ma ma ma ma ma.” She squeals, bouncing in Harry’s arm with her hands reaching out towards me. I love the way she calls me, I always think about how long it took me and Harry to get her to say that. All she used to say was  da da, but finally it happened one day and now she says it all the time.
“Hey baby girl, Momma missed you so much!” I say as Harry sits her down on my lap. I pull her closer to me and hold her tight in a hug, her little hands pulling at the hospital gown. My ears are filled with her little giggles and calls for me again, she’s so adorable.
I grab her waist with my hands and stand her up on my thighs. “Hi there princess.” I say with a big smile swept over my face as I see her beautiful eyes staring into mine.
“Ma ma ma.” She says as she leans forward, her lips giving me a sweet, slobbery, baby kiss.
“Here, let me tape down your IV so she doesn’t pull it out.” Macy says as she rushes to my side with a roll of bandage tape. I sit Katie down on my legs and let her play with my free hand as the other holds her waist steady and is the same hand with the IV in it.
Macy tapes the tube to my arm in a few different places so it doesn’t fall out. “There you go.” She says with a sigh of relief as she steps back away from the bed and sits down in the chair in the corner. She can’t leave me alone, she has to stay because of what happened earlier – me lashing out and all.
A tear trickles down my cheek as I notice the Band-Aids covering Katie’s arms and legs, and a few on a her shoulders, neck, and one on her forehead. She was wearing a little pink gown that the hospital gave her, I’ve never seen a pink one like that – covered in bows and teddy bears.
I jump suddenly as I feel a touch on my face. My eyes dart up to see Harry standing closer than before, his thumb wiping off my cheek.
“I love you.” He mumbles to me, gently lifting one corner of his mouth. I gulp gently to myself and look back to Katie, I don’t want to see Harry’s face right now – even though I missed him so much when I woke up. I want him to hold me and kiss me, but at the same time I want him to leave me alone.
“I couldn’t believe it.. when they told me.. she was.. okay.” I say as I stare at Katie’s beautiful little self. She was fiddling with my fingers, twisting my ring around my finger.
“I know. At the… at the accident.. they.. they wouldn’t let me.. let me see her.. because they didn’t know.. if she was really okay or not. But after I got here, like almost an hour of waiting.. they told me she was okay.” Harry replies back ot me.
From the corner of my eye I see him pulling the chair from the wall over to the bed so he could sit down beside us. He gets situated and reaches his hand out towards me. I flinch as I feel his hand on the small of my back.
“I’m sorry.” I hear his shaky whisper. I bite the inside of my cheek as I continue to watch Katie entertain herself. I don’t have anything to say to him about what he did, or what I did either.
“She’s okay, and you’re okay.. and that’s all that matters.” I mutter back to him, despite not even looking in his direction.
“I met the first responder.” Harry says in a normal tone, his hand pressed against my back still – I can feel his warmth through the thin material of the gown.
“He said he has three little girls.. and when he heard Katie crying.. his attention focused on her. I thanked him so many times, I didn’t even know.. what else to say.” Harry goes on about the man. Whoever he is, he’s a damn good person.
“Cuts and bruises.. that’s all.” He adds as his other hand reaches out to Katie. His fingers run through her hair, his attempt at trying to tame it was cute.
“Here, if you need it.” Macy comes to the side of the bed and offers us a small hair band. Harry takes it with a smile as he stands up, his hand leaving my body. I almost want to beg him to put it back, but I don’t.
“Thank you.” Harry says to her as he begins to gather Katie’s naturally wave, almost curly, hair into his hand. He tries his best to make it neat, but either way it’s adorable to watch. I love him doing those kinds of things with her – fixing her hair, picking out her outfits and her bows.
He’s an amazing father. I’m glad my little girl has him.
Harry sits back down after completing the job. His hand returns to my back and a release a deep sigh, mentally thanking God for him doing that. I might have just lost my mind if he hadn’t.
Despite my scrapes, bruises, cracked ribs, messed up teeth – I’m lucky to be alive. Harry and Katie are both lucky to alive.   Its Ending SOON! :)
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