Break On Me

"Maybe it's not about the happy ending.. Maybe it's about the story."

Sometimes it’s hard to accept what is, and it’s hard to go along with something even though you know you could do better.. But how come it’s so easy to slip up? So easy to say the wrong thing, use the wrong words, or even make the wrong moves? Sometimes we just all need to break.. in more ways than just mentally. I want you to know, that no matter what, I will always be here for you.. whether you like it or not, if you want me here or if you want me to live.. If you love me, or if you hate.. You can always break on me baby.

We loose ourselves in the things we love, we find ourselves there too..


51. Chapter 050


My eyes open and I’m met with the sunshine lit room, the curtains on the windows were opened. I smile gently at the clean space, Harry must have saw my pathetic mess that I left in the bedroom. He’s too good of a man for me to have, I don’t deserve all the things he does. He’s amazing, but yet he’s with me.. of all people, me.
I don’t take too long to get out of the bed, my head was pounding still and my stomach still hurts. I widen my eyes as I suddenly realize what day it is.
“Oh gosh, I hope you went to work.’’ I mumble out loud as I stare at the picture of Harry and me on the nightstand. I gulp gently as I stand from the bed, sliding into my slippers. I don’t wear them a lot but this morning the floor was awfully cold.
My eyes take notice of Harry’s robe laid across the foot of the bed. Even if he didn’t leave it for me, which I’m pretty sure he did, I take it and put it on. The smell of him engulfs me, a smile coming to my face as I take in the warmness of the fabric. He wore it this morning, I don’t know how long for, but I know he had it on.
It’s half past eleven at the moment. I slept late once again, but I honestly don’t seem to care right now. I got plenty of rest and I greatly deserved it, my body has been aching for days and I just feel useless. I hope I’m just sick, and not that other potential reason..

Harry’s office here at the house is much smaller than his actual one, but he uses it just as much. A relieved sigh leaves my mouth as I notice he left the computer unlocked, I know he spent a while in here yesterday. My doctor called me and told me that they decided to email the report instead, so they used the email I had written down for them just in case..
It was risky, that’s Harry’s somewhat personal email address. He has a few, one main one for him, one for the business, and so on. But this one, it’s mostly used between his close business partners and all that. I only picked this one because I know the password.
Nervously I sit down in the huge leather chair, it has similarities to the one in Harry’s legit office. My hands lightly shake, just something I do and with the addition of the situation.. they shook a little worse at the moment. I place my hand over the mouse, it gave off a little warm – this worried me a lot.
Harry’s most likely here, I didn’t hear any sign of Louise in the kitchen when I sneaked by (if I had it my way, I wouldn’t have put Harry’s office on the other side of the house.. I almost blew my cover a few times just by accidentally hitting a table or a picture on wall..) just minutes ago.
“C’mon..’’ I sigh as the internet connection decides to go a little slower, just great! I dart my eyes to the door, making sure I was alone in the room. I’m so stupid! I left the damn door open, perfect.. What a nice move that was. I attempt to control my mind, not wanting to drift off right now. My eyes burn holes through the screen as I await the page to load. Come on, please hurry up.
Almost five minutes passed before the page finally came onto the screen. This is an expensive computer, I expected it to go faster today. But with my luck recently, I don’t even know why I counted on it.
“What!’’ I yell in a whisper to myself, all the emails where deleted. No, this can’t be. Are you serious kidding me? A reminder is the only thing on the screen, telling me that  no recently received emails.
Perhaps the doctor just hasn’t sent the report back, or maybe the report isn’t ready yet. Yeah, that sounds about right. A heavy sigh leaves my mouth as I close the browser page and stand up from the desk, neatly sliding the chair back where it was before I came in here.

Carefully I shut the bedroom door, hoping not to wake up Katie from her morning nap. Most days she wakes up for a few hours then goes back down for a nap. Harry’s somewhere in the house, where exactly well I don’t know. That’s the thing that worries me, where is he?
Katie was in a different set of clothes than she went to sleep in, so I know she’s been up. Plus, when I went in the kitchen there were new dishes that weren’t there last night, another sign that they’ve been up without me for a few hours.
The vibe in mine and Harry’s bedroom was different, I felt nothing special when I came in and shut the door behind me. It felt like walking into any other room – but the thing is, I never feel  nothing when I come in here. There’s always the skipped heartbeat, the gasp for air, or the butterflies in my stomach. But this time.. there’s nothing.
I press my hands down in the mattress on either side of me as I sit on the edge of the bed, which is now made. I didn’t make it up, I never do – Harry insists for me not to, so I don’t. I do as I’m told. So it’s obvious he’s been in here this morning, from the time I left ‘til now.
My eyes close as I begin to think about the doctor’s report. What if I’m.. pregnant? What will Harry think? What will  I think? More importantly, what would Harry do? Would he celebrate and be filled with joy, or would he try to deny it and hate the idea? A better question would be.. why am I questioning Harry’s actions, even when I know he wouldn’t hate  that. What’s wrong with me?

“Are you.. mad?’’ I mumble out, not sure if he was happy or upset with me at this news. I bite the inside of my cheek, not wanting to hear anything bad leave his mouth. Honestly I’m not even sure what to think about this situation.
“Are you kidding me! I would never be upset! Babe, oh my.. god.’’ Harry says with a bright smile, standing from his chair. He grabs my hand and pulls me up out of my chair in a swift move. I feel a smile come to my lips as I stare up in to his beautiful green eyes, I wonder if our baby will get his eyes..
“This is.. most incredible.. thing anyone’s ever told me. Oh my god, babe.. we’re going to have a baby.’’ He says, his eyebrows raised high in excitement as he drops to his knees, his arms winding around my hips. Before I have time to let out my question on what exactly he was doing, he pulls down my skirt to my knees. “Harry, what are you-” He cuts me off with that deep chuckle of his, just another reason I love him.
“You’ll see!’’ He says as I feel his fingertips search my back for the zipper of my top. I smile when he quickly finds it and pulls it down. Harry then removes the top from my body, sitting it on the floor. He tugs down the skirt and grins as he stares at my stomach.
“Little baby Styles..’’ He mutters to himself before his lips press against my skin. I feel my cheeks burn at the sudden affection, even though it wasn’t directly for me – it still makes me fluster a bit.
“I know you’re not much yet, but I promise you Daddy is already in love with you baby,’’ Harry speaks aloud as he leans back a little, but not much. His eyes dart up to mine for a split second before looking back at my stomach. “and so does your Mommy.’’
I won’t be a liar, at first I thought Harry would leave me, that he wouldn’t want this relationship anymore because of the baby. But now, I feel completely stupid for even thinking that. Why did that even pop into my head? Just my worrying I’m sure, however now.. I’m not worried anymore.
“Sweet love, I can’t wait to see you. Daddy’s going to talk to you every single night.. even when Mommy’s asleep. It’ll be a long few months, but darling it’s worth it.’’ Harry kisses my stomach again. He was right, there isn’t much in there yet but it’s still our little baby and that’s all that matters.
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