Break On Me

"Maybe it's not about the happy ending.. Maybe it's about the story."

Sometimes it’s hard to accept what is, and it’s hard to go along with something even though you know you could do better.. But how come it’s so easy to slip up? So easy to say the wrong thing, use the wrong words, or even make the wrong moves? Sometimes we just all need to break.. in more ways than just mentally. I want you to know, that no matter what, I will always be here for you.. whether you like it or not, if you want me here or if you want me to live.. If you love me, or if you hate.. You can always break on me baby.

We loose ourselves in the things we love, we find ourselves there too..


26. Chapter 025

Even though the dark room made it almost impossible to see, I still kept my eyes on Harry’s body. The darkness didn’t stop me from smiling at the cute noises he made while he was sleeping, which mixed with his snoring. He held me tight against him, my face buried in his chest. My arms were locked around his torso, holding him just as close to me. I loved doing this, we hardly did lately. We’d do good just trying to face each other, it’s been too long since he’s held me this way, and I’ve returned the favor.
I thought things had changed, but perhaps it was just a phase. Relationships aren’t always perfect, and I do believe Harry and I are fine now – for  now. It will never be perfect, I understand that. Honestly, I highly believe that Katie keeps Harry and I sane  together, we both have one thing in common if nothing – and that’s that we love that little angel. Speaking of my sweet little girl, I sure do miss her right now.
Sometimes at home we’d have her between us, her pacifier in her mouth, her little body just worn out from the day. She sleeps so much better with us than in her crib. At first Harry was worried about it, when she was a few months younger. He was afraid he’d roll over on her. But everything went fine, and thankfully has since then. He’s not bad about moving around while sleeping anyways, so there’s nothing to worry about.
Harry let out a grunt, bringing me from my thoughts. I smile lightly to myself as I feel his foot rub against mine under the cover. I won’t lie, it tickled me a little, but I know it’s just something he does. He tightens his grip around me, enough to make our bodies completely touch. I close my eyes, knowing that he’s not going anywhere. Harry’s smell fills my nose, calming me down a little, maybe I’ll be able to sleep now.


My eyes open enough to tell it was morning, but for some reason I sigh to myself and close them back, I was still tired I guess. Just as usual, though, I didn’t go back to sleep because I was interrupted by something. However, this time it was something beautiful.
“Daddy loves you baby girl.” Harry’s voice says close to me, bringing a smile to me as I lay with my one side of my face against a soft pillow.
“Katie, talk to Daddy baby.’’ Harry says with a sigh, annoyed but amazed because of her, I know. It was silent for a little bit, neither one of them was saying anything to the other. Most likely Katie is upset at something and Harry just wants her to be happy, but she’s not.
“Please, love.” Harry begs of her to say something to him – he’s so desperate. I focus on them as I lay with my eyes closed, just enjoying hearing him talk to her.
“Da da.’’ Katie finally replies.
Harry gives her a chuckle, “Thank you, darling.’’ He’s a good father, I’ll give him that for sure. Sometimes he over reacts, I’ll catch him reading articles online about “child speech development”, “things my baby should be doing”, and such. I’ll just call him an idiot and tell him to not worry. I’m just happy he cares about her, that he loves her.
“Ma.. ma.’’ Katie says with her cute little voice, she’s so precious.
“You want Momma? Hm?’’ Harry asks her as if she’s going to reply with a long complex sentence.
“Ma ma ma ma ma ma.” She blabs a stream of replies to him.
“Let’s wake Momma up.’’ Harry tells her, I could hear the smile in his voice.
Within a few seconds I felt Harry’s large, soft hand on my bare side where my shirt – well his shirt – has ridden up. I smile gently, loving the feel of his touch. I feel him over me, leaning to my ear.
“Momma.. wake up, somebody wants to see you.’’ He says in my ear, his lips brushing against my lobe. I smile a little as I turn my head to face him, opening my eyes.
“I’ve been awake for a few minutes.’’ I say, my voice still in that ‘just woke up’ state.
“You’ve slept a few more hours than usual.. but good morning baby.’’ He smiles as he places a kiss on my lips before leaning up, picking Katie up from the bed where she sat fiddling with toys.
“When did she get here?’’ I ask as I roll over onto my back, sighing as I stare up at the ceiling fan slowly rotating.
“About an hour ago, I told Carly to bring her over, figured she needed a break.’’ Harry says as he goes towards the bathroom, stopping to look over at me, “I’m going to give her a bath. Early this morning she took the girls to the beach and Katie’s got sand in her diaper.’’ He gives me a smile before continuing into the bathroom.
“Okay.’’ I say loud enough so he could hear me.
I love traveling, it’s fun and all – and plus its very interesting to see new places. But Rio isn’t new to me, I’ve seen it a few times in the past. I don’t want to do much traveling right now though, I just want to be in New York and in my own bed.
Harry’s career is nice, I won’t lie, but sometimes it’s stressful because he’s expected to do so much and he has to do it in order to keep his image up. I know it’s important to him, he loves it – but I think he needs to realize what’s at home, and not seven thousand miles away in another country..
I love him to death, but we have a baby. I don’t want our baby growing up in a home where she hardly sees her father, or we don’t get to spend enough time together. Honestly I sound selfish, like I want Harry all to myself – but  really, I just want our daughter’s life to be the best and that we fulfill all the dreams she has. We can’t do that when he’s hardly noticing us..

If Harry expects me to marry him.. he needs to change, or I’ll do the changing myself. Of course I love him, I always will – but certain things need to be adjusted. I’m so tired of him staying late at work, or leaving so early for a meeting. I hate it. I just want to make sure Katie’s life is the best we can give her.. and I want Harry to be apart of it – however, that could change..


“Ba ba ba.. ba.’’ Katie says as she splashes her hands into the bubbles. Her bath seat allowed her to sit up some, but not enough to endanger her.
I give her a smile as I watch her kick her feet in the water, she loves bath time. When she was younger she’d just sit there and smile at me, giggling when I’d tickle her tummy. She’s so gorgeous, just like Emmy. Beautiful  and adorable.
“Alright baby, it’s been over five minutes now. We need to rinse you off.’’ I say as I begin the process. I try not to be so rough, but Emmy insists to sometimes so all the soap will come off and none of it will irate her sensitive skin.
“Harry..’’ I hear my name being called as the bathroom door opens with a light knock.
“Yeah?’’ I answer with a sigh, letting it slip from my mouth on accident. Hopefully she didn’t notice, or else she’ll freak out saying I’m being mean to her… I need to stop, ignore myself and just listen to her for once.
“Where’d you put the bottle of Advil?’’ Emmy asks me curiously.
“It’s in my bag I think, why? Is everything alright?’’ I ask, keeping my eyes on Katie and trying to focus on both bathing her and listening to Emmy.
“Headache..’’ She mumbles before I hear footsteps on the tiled floor – a sign that she had left and was going to get what she was searching for.
It didn’t take much longer for me to clean off Katie, she was a very good baby and behaves well – most of the time – she hardly fights against us when we try to dress her, or give her a bath, or change her. The only thing she hates, and I mean one of the only things, is when one of us leaves the house for whatever reason.. she hates it.
“Da da.’’ Katie says with a smile as I pick her up and squat down in the floor. I stand her up carefully, holding her little waist with my hand so she wouldn’t fall over as I grabbed the towel.
It looked like a duck with the beak on the hood and everything. These cute baby things make me smile, Emmy’s such a good mother and loves all those little things that come along with having a little baby girl. I love it too, it’s quite adorable.
“Daddy’s got you baby.’’ I whisper to her as she hesitates to stand still, her legs a little wobbly. She hasn’t aced the walking yet, but she’ll pull herself up here and there and attempt, only to get a few steps in though.
“Now then..’’ I say as I wrap the towel around her and pick her up, holding her in my arms like a newborn baby. I look down to see her staring at me, those beautiful eyes and that cute smile, just a few teeth though. Katie has four teeth, and she’s a biter for sure.
“I bet Momma would love to see her little baby.. Let’s go find her.’’ I insist as I turn off the bathroom light and begin to look for Emmy.
Sorry For The Short Chapter. I Been Working On New Books. Hope You Like It. ~Angie
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