Break On Me

"Maybe it's not about the happy ending.. Maybe it's about the story."

Sometimes it’s hard to accept what is, and it’s hard to go along with something even though you know you could do better.. But how come it’s so easy to slip up? So easy to say the wrong thing, use the wrong words, or even make the wrong moves? Sometimes we just all need to break.. in more ways than just mentally. I want you to know, that no matter what, I will always be here for you.. whether you like it or not, if you want me here or if you want me to live.. If you love me, or if you hate.. You can always break on me baby.


We loose ourselves in the things we love, we find ourselves there too..


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14. Chapter 013

⏩Harry⏪

My heart was racing, I was pissed. My temper was up as far as it’s been in a long while. I wasn’t pissed off at Emmy, but at Rosie. She knew better, she fucking knew.
“Damn it!’’ I scream out, kicking the door as I sigh out loud, annoyed completely by this fucking night. It was supposed to be good, but as usual nothing fucking words out for me, nothing at all.
Suddenly crying came into my attention, I totally forgot I was in Katie’s room. I sigh as I hurry over to the crib, finding her little face covered with tears.
‘’Baby, Daddy’s so sorry! I’m such an idiot, I didn’t mean to wake you.’’ I mumble as I pick her up and hold her against my chest, her little head resting against my shoulder.
I held her close, gently and carefully though, I never want to hurt my little princess, never.
‘’Shhh… hush, now. Daddy’s got you baby.’’ I say as I rub circles gently into her back, trying to soothe her.
As usual, it works, thankfully. She quiets down and I knew she was ready to go back to sleep now. I knew the difference in her cries, I always have. She was louder and screamed longer before taking a breath when she was hungry, and then the other one is when she wakes up, shorter cries, but more high pitched.
She was complicated, but I can understand her, I figured her out before I realized the reality of being a parent, a long time ago it seems.
‘’Happy Birthday darling..’’ I whisper as I sit down in the rocking chair, putting her in my arms and gently began to rock the chair back and forth, staring down at those pretty eyes looking back up at me.
‘’Daddy done something horrible earlier, babe. I.. I made Mommy mad again.’’ I tell her with a sigh, at least I know she’s listening to me. She and I have had serious conversations, we talk all the time. Well, I talk to her. But soon she will be able to fully talk back to me.
‘’You see, Daddy has a horrible secret.. one that you and Mommy both don’t know. I know, I know, it’s horrible. I haven’t even told you yet.. It’s hard to explain, hard to.. understand. I want to tell Mommy, but she would get so mad.. she would leave me, and I don’t want that. I love Mommy… way too much to lose her, and I did tell her.. she would take you too, and Daddy doesn’t want that at all, not one bit.’’ I tell Katie as she fights to keep her pretty eyes open.
“I love Mommy too much.. to tell her. I.. I don’t want anything.. to.. to happen between us. This secret of mine.. is horrible, baby, I can’t.. I hate talking or even thinking about it. It hasn’t traced my mind for almost three whole years.. until that stupid bitch, I’m sorry! I meant.. that stupid woman mentioned it.’’ I say, mentally hitting myself for cursing in front of Katie.
I hope I don’t do that when she’s older and can actually understand that those words are bad.
‘’Daddy has to tell you, though, I’ve brought it up now, can’t leave you hanging.’’ I mumble as I lean my head back, knowing that she was now asleep. I close my eyes, staring at the darkness of my eye lids, taking a deep breath and slowly releasing it as I begin this hard conversation.
“A few years before I met Mommy.. I was with this woman named Megan. Well, we hadn’t been together long, only about five months. Daddy thought he was in love, trust me I did. Now, we never done anything.. well never mind, that’s too R-rated for your little ears, ignore that. We only kissed. Nothing more.’’ I sigh, rolling my eyes to myself as I kept them closed, hoping that it would make it easier, but it didn’t really.
‘’Daddy went out and bought her this huge diamond ring with all the fresh new money I was making back then, I was only twenty, she was a year older than me. Boy did I think I was all that when I bought that ring. So, I planned a nice dinner at the girl’s favorite restaurant.. a place I refuse to ever take Mommy to.. I was going to propose later that knight in Central Park.’’ I stop myself, trying to get the guts to say this aloud, knowing that my little baby was asleep and couldn’t care less about what I said right now.
But I had to admit this to her, even if she was asleep. I needed to, I wanted to, I had to.
“I got a call from her friend, I don’t even remember the girl’s name. I stepped outside to answer it.. and she told me that the girl only was with me for my money, for my fame.. for the trips around the world.. for something that didn’t mean anything to me then. I thought I had love, but really I just had.. a fake bitch, excuse my language, but it’s true.’’ I say.
‘’Love is a complicated thing, I know that now. When I first saw Mommy I fell in love, no one could get me up. I was mesmerized by her, she was all I thought about for weeks.. I loved her to death, and I still do, I always will.’’ I admit to Katie’s sleeping ears.
The room became quiet, I could only hear Katie’s breathing, her little heartbeat. She soothes me about as well as I soothe her.
‘’Harry.’’ I knew that voice from anywhere. I leaned up and looked over at the door, there she was. Emmy was leaning in the door frame, her temple against the wood as she gripped the frame tight with both hands.
‘’Em.. how long.. have you.. been.. there?’’ I ask in a soft tone as I stand up, walking over to the crib.
"Ever since you yelled out.'' She tells me.

 

I stare at her for a few seconds before I turn my back on her for a few moments, only to put the baby in the crib. I press my lips against Katie’s forehead, leaving my princess with a kiss of reassurance as I do every night.
‘’Sweet dreams my darling.’’ I whisper as I lay her down, pulling the thin blanket over her. I carefully back away, trying not make much noise.
Once I knew she was fast asleep, I turned around and saw that Emmy was closer to me, twisting the ring around her finger as she stares down at her hands. Not the engagement ring, the promise ring. She never takes it off, expect for in the pool and in the shower, and same with me.
‘’I.. I don’t care about your money.’’ She mumbles as I go over to her, hesitating to put my hand on her waist at first, but I do it anyways..
“Please don’t think that.. I love you, Harry, honest. I.. I don’t care about the cars.. the mansion, the parties.. nothing. I love you for who you are, not what you have.’’ Emmy’s eyes lock with mine as she looks up at me.
‘’I know baby.. and I love you too.’’ I whisper softly as I put my other hand on her cheek, leaning down to her beautiful face.
I lean my forehead against hers, ‘’I have never doubted that you didn’t love me.’’ I mumble as I gently rub my nose against hers, I know she likes that, that’s why I do it.
‘’Why.. why haven’t you told me?’’ She asks, her eyebrows furrowing as she puts her hands on my neck, closing her eyes as she presses her forehead against mine more than it already was.
‘’I.. I was scared.. I.. I can’t lose you.’’
‘’Harry.. I’m not going anywhere.. I promise.’’ She assures me, brushing her soft lips against mine.
‘’Thank you.’’

 




‘’Rise and shine, Daddy!’’ Emmy yells with a laugh as she plops down on the bed beside me. I smile as I keep my eyes closed, still a little tired after yesterday.
‘’Aww! C’mon, don’t be a party pooper! Get up!’’ She says as I hear my little sweetheart giggle.
‘’It’s someone’s birthday today.. Hmm.. wonder who?’’ Emmy says as I feel her get up from the bed. The room was filled with Katie’s giggles and Emmy’s little laughs at her cuteness. I smile again, knowing that the sight is surely beautiful.
I open my eyes and turn my head so that I could see them. I realized I was on my stomach, which happens often especially when Emmy leaves the bed before I do. I smile, proud of my little family.

 

My eyes take in the most beautiful thing in the world, my girls. Emmy was holding Katie above her in the air, twirling around, getting giggles from our little girl. She loved to be tickled, she was extremely ticklish.
‘’Good morning.’’ I mumble, my voice cracking, my throat was dry from just waking up.
Emmy stops spinning and comes over to the edge of the bed, holding Katie in her arms as she smiles down at me.
‘’Daddy finally decided to get up!’’ She says with a wink as she looks over at Katie.
‘’Dada Dada.. Dada!’’ She says happily, holding her hands down to me, wanting me to hold her.
I roll onto my back, pushing the covers down some as I prop up on the pillows.
‘’C’mere, princess.’’ I say as I hold my arms out for her. Emmy passes her to me and is it her down on my chest as I lie back down, holding my hands on her waist to keep her steady.
‘’Dada.’’ She giggles a little as I lean up and kiss her dimpled cheek.
‘’So cute, baby girl. Happy birthday, little Princess.’’ I smile as I give her another kiss, the other cheek.
She squeals to me as my fingertips tickle her side purposely.
‘’Alright, c’mon Daddy! We got to get up and get ready.’’ Emmy smiles as she leans down to me and places a unexpected kiss on my lips before running off to the closet.
‘’She’s so eager to go shopping.’’ I sigh with a smile as Katie looks at me, smiling almost toothless as she blabs her baby talk to me.
‘’Dada!’’ She says loudly, happy to see me as usual.
‘’Love you sweet girl.’’

 

Tell Me What You Think.

Sorry For Not Posting.

~Angie

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