Break On Me

"Maybe it's not about the happy ending.. Maybe it's about the story."

Sometimes it’s hard to accept what is, and it’s hard to go along with something even though you know you could do better.. But how come it’s so easy to slip up? So easy to say the wrong thing, use the wrong words, or even make the wrong moves? Sometimes we just all need to break.. in more ways than just mentally. I want you to know, that no matter what, I will always be here for you.. whether you like it or not, if you want me here or if you want me to live.. If you love me, or if you hate.. You can always break on me baby.

We loose ourselves in the things we love, we find ourselves there too..


4. Chapter 003


Hey darling, did you sleep well?’’ I ask in a soft voice as I take Katie out of the crib. She groans a few times as she gets adjusted in my arms.

‘’Shhh.. it’s okay, Mommy’s right here baby.’’ I whisper as I leave a sweet, soft kiss on her forehead, ‘’Do you want to go sit beside Daddy, hmm?’’ I ask her as I go over to the hospital bed.
‘’Well I hope so.’’ Harry says softly, the doctor told him not to speak too loud because he could damage his vocal cords due his mouth being so dry still, but that will go away soon.
The bed was leaned up some so that Harry could be sitting up, able to feel like a person while he’s in this horrible situation. I sit down beside him, thanking the staff that there was a big bed, two person sized, so perfect for us.
I carefully sit Katie on Harry’s lap so that she was facing him. She starts blabbing, sticking her hand in her mouth as she sees him, she loved Harry so much, they had a bond that no one could ever break. They do everything together, that’s his little angel.
‘’Hey sweet girl.’’ Harry mumbles with a smile as he puts his hands on her waist, keeping her steady on his lap, ‘’Daddy missed rocking you to sleep last night..’’ He sighs softly as he bites his lip, still staring down at her.
‘’Soon.. Daddy can be normal.. I can sing to you.. I can put you to sleep.. I love you, sweetheart.’’ Harry’s voice was cracking, a sign he needed to drink something. .
‘’You need some water, Harry.’’ I say as I turn to the small bedside table and grab the cold bottle of water.
‘’No.. I’m fine.’’ Harry protests, shaking his head lightly from side to side.
‘’Okay.’’ I shrug, sighing as I sit the bottle back on the table.
‘’Your mom said she will fly over as soon as she can, Gemma to.’’ Niall says as he shuts the door gently. He had been on the phone with Anne, explaining everything to her. He is such a good person, a good friend, a great friend at that.
“Alright.’’ Harry says with a nod before turning his attention back to Katie.
‘’I wish I could.. hold you in the air over my head baby.. Let you fly like an airplane, listen to you giggle above me.. Or lay down on the floor or the bed and.. and put you on my feet, high in the air as I held onto your little hands. I’m going to miss that baby girl.. it’s going to be a long time before Daddy is useful again.’’ Harry says as Katie stares at him, still gnawing on her hand.
I wanted to say something, wanted to correct him, he was useful, but I was afraid that he would get ticked off, scream at me and then all hell would raise. Fighting and arguing is something I need to, have to, avoid right now, more like for a while.

It was around lunch time when Anne and Gemma got to the hospital, Niall went and picked them up from the airport. But they’re not allowed back here until two o’clock due some things the doctors had to do with Harry, and that time is approaching soon. It was 1:57 pm.
I was the only person in the room with Harry. Niall had Katie in the waiting room with Anne and Gemma. Harry just came out of surgery, the nurse told me while I was waiting in the room by myself that they had to take a few x-rays of his leg as well his spine. They told me that he had a cracked rib, just a small crack though.
Actually, it wasn’t really a surgical procedure they done, they just had to do exam every little part of his body, inside and out, to make sure they didn’t miss anything. They only put him to sleep so that he wouldn’t feel the pain.
“Good afternoon, Ms. Matthews. How are you?” Mary, one of the nurses that comes and checks in on Harry, says with a smile. She was in her late twenties, beautiful red hair and the brightest blue eyes. I was talking to her last night, gushing over her beauty, she just blushed and said I was beautiful to, but I don’t know about that. Mary was tall and thin, but not too thin, perfect for her height.
“Fine.. um.. Are you going to give him the morphine now?’’ I ask as I watch her unhook one of the IVs, the one that stuck in the top of his right hand, and exchange the tube for a new one.
She snaps the tube back into the IV and then puts the other end onto a bag.
‘’Yeah, this should make him fill a lot better.’’ She nods as she glances over at me before checking the heart monitor, making sure everything was still okay.
“Should he wake up soon?’’ I ask as I bite the inside of my cheek, just praying to God that he does wake up.
‘’Yeah, probably in the next ten minutes.’’ She nods with a smile as she adjusts another IV that was in his other hand, just putting it straight so it won’t fall out or get knocked out of place.
‘’He was nervous.. He and I were talking before we put him under anesthesia. He was afraid, more than anything.’’ She sighs as she glances over at a few monitors before looking right at me.
‘’Harry was afraid? He’s.. He’s never afraid of anything.’’ I say, not really believing that. Harry was strong, mentally and physically. Nothing ever him afraid, nothing that I know of.
‘’He wasn’t afraid because of what happened.. He was afraid of not waking up. He told me that if he didn’t wake up… to tell you that he loved you. Ms. Matthews, you have a very special man in your life. I will never forget what he said when he woke up in the ER bay.’’ She says with a smile as she looks down at Harry for a few seconds before turning her attention to me again.
‘’What.. what he say?’’ I ask softly, staring at Harry’s face, his eyes closed, and his lips lightly parted, he looked just as beautiful as he does on a normal day, without the swollen face or the cuts and bruises.
‘’The first word he say was ‘Emmy’. I was the one that looked at the files, so I knew who you were. I told him that everything was going to be okay. He just started to freak out, unsure of the moment and worried about where you were. I told him that you would be here soon.. and that he could see you as soon as possible. He cried.. not because of the pain he had.. but because he told me he thought he was dead. He thought had left you.. and your little daughter. I’ve seen a lot since I’ve been in the medical field.. but never have I seen a man worry and care so much as Harry does for you. He didn’t care about himself, or his health, he just wanted to make sure he could see you again.’’ Mary smiles, lightly shaking her head in disbelief.
I wanted to say something, wanted to reply, but I couldn’t because I was just in awe about what she told me. I believe, trust me I do. I love Harry with all my heart, and I’m glad to know he will always love me too.
There were a few sets of knocks on the door, only seconds apart. I stood up as Mary went to do the door. I heard it open, but I didn’t see or care who it was. As Mary talked at the door for a few moments, I sat down on the edge of the bed beside Harry, picking up his left hand and putting it between both of mine. I needed to hold his hand.
‘’Nurse said she’d be back later on.’’ I heard Niall’s voice say. I nod, not turning to look at him though.
‘’Oh my god.. Harry!’’ Anne gasped from behind me.
‘’They said not to grab him.. you have to be gentle.’’ Niall tells her as she approaches the other side of the bed.
I couldn’t look her in the face. She knew I was partly the cause of this. Harry was texting me, I was a distraction. Her son could have died just because of me.
‘’Shh baby, Aunt Gem’s got you.’’ Gemma says as I hear Katie start to cry a little, but Gemma soothed her and calmed her down.
I continue looking at Harry, making sure I was the first to know he woke up. I need to talk to him, so I hope the nurses make Anne and Gemma leave soon. I’m not trying to be mean, but I need to speak with Harry alone.

It was around fifteen minutes since Mary left the room. I was alone once more, which I needed. I was in the same spot, right beside Harry, his hand still being held by both of mine. I was still feeling nervous, afraid. But yet I was anxious to speak to him.
My heart rate was dropping to a normal pace, I was calming down mentally. I didn’t really know what to think, or to do. Harry’s everything to me and if I lost him God only knows what the hell would happen to me.
Harry’s fingers began to slightly move against my skin. I took a deep breath and slowly released it as I licked my lips, watching him closely. He lightly furrowed his eyebrows, a sign that he was waking up. He always done that in the mornings or when he wakes up from a nap. He grunts a few times, trying to move his head but soon realizing the neck brace limited his movement a lot.
Just when I thought that he wasn’t going to wake up, those thoughts still filling my mind even after seeing the signs that he indeed was going to wake up, his beautiful eyes fluttered open.
‘’Harry.’’ I smile a little, thanking God that he was awake and alive, and with me.
“Emmy.’’ He mumbles softly, turning his hand so that he could hold one of mine. I laced our fingers and keep a nice grip, but not too tight, I didn’t want to hurt him.
‘’How do you feel, baby?’’ I whisper softly as I lean closer, pushing a strand of my hair behind me ear, apparently my pony tail wasn’t tight enough.
‘’I feel.. good.’’ He smiles lightly.
‘’It’s the morphine.’’ I release a light laugh, he was going to be a little loopy but that was okay with me, as long as I knew he was okay.
“You look so.. beautiful.’’ He says lightly, his voice cracking a little. I blush, as usual. I just shake my head to myself, he was so sweet even when he was in pain.
‘’I love.. you.. Emmy.’’ He says, coughing between a few words.
‘’I love you too, Harry.’’ I say with a smile as I lean down and kiss his forehead softly.
Its hard to believe that this could happen to him, but I had to except it. We can make it through this, we can make it through anything.


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