Show Me Your Soul

What happens if life throws you off track? What if someone asks you to trust him, even though you know nothing about him? Would you trust him?
Cecily Martesse is a normal student in her second year at college. Just when the next normal semester starts, she meets Ace - a handsome boy that throws her life upside down. Compelled by his words, his voice, his behavior, she finds herself getting dragged into a world full of secrets, unfaithfulness and deceit.
Just when she hears some devastating news about her brother, she has to face things she never knew she could endure.
A story about love, trust and friendship. Rated Mature for adult language and hot love scenes.


25. Thomas Skidmore




I was broken.

Ace had accomplished to break the last and tiniest fragment of my heart, my soul.

I was a joke to him. Everything was a joke to him or Aro.

Ironically, I didn’t care about Aro. It was my own stupid fault that I tried again with him and gave him another chance when he and Ace were laughing at me behind my back all along.

The only thought made me want to vomit. Not that I already didn’t puke my guts out the moment I arrived at home.

Maybe because I ran over an hour, maybe because I was simply tired and hyperglycemic after the exam. Probably, because I had let myself get humiliated on so many levels.


Playing sick those past days, I stayed at home and vegetated on my bed.

I couldn’t listen to my happy music or read my romantic books or paint or do anything. I was just laying like a corpse in my bed. Hollow inside.

Especially Mom was worried that I got another pneumonia but I assured her it was just the flu.

Against the reasonable voice inside my head, I kept rewinding every conversation with Ace, from the first day we met till his I love you. A shudder racked my back every time I thought about it.

Part of me wanted to believe him but then I thought about what a good liar he could be and how convincing he could act.

“Cecy, you’re coming to the beach party tonight, right?”, Cassy texted me a couple times.

I didn’t want to.

Not that I ever actually wanted to go to a party but I looked forward to participate at the dance contest there and go for a swim. To watch the sun set and see the fireworks glittering the sky.

It would have been magnificent.

Finals were over and the beach was sure going to be crowded with celebrating students. Everyone would be there.

But this dark abyss I had fallen into was sucking my energy. I knew I wouldn’t have fun there.

I stretched my head and opened one eye. The brightness of my room was enough to piss me off.

I looked at my mirror. The words Alex had written were shining all red. It wasn’t helping this time, the words were rather mocking me. I wanted to snort at this irony. But my eyes rested on the word Strong.

I wasn’t myself those past days. But that was about to change.

I am happy, I told myself. I was a happy person. I won’t cry, I won’t have those gloomy thoughts anymore and I certainly won’t wallow in self-pity.  

“Yes, of course I’m coming, Cass”, I replied quickly and shoved the sheets away.

I was going to have fun. I was going to become the same person I used to be before I’d met that storm called Ace.

Before I put on the bikini I had bought recently, I needed to do something about my legs. Shaving would’ve been fine, but I had time and decided to grab some wax stripes and whimpered every time I ripped them off my skin.

Ouch, that hurt.

Waxing the area down there hurt infernally. I kept cursing until I finished, and for a moment I forgot about the other pain.

I slipped into my bikini and looked at myself in the mirror.

It was a black one, featuring standout double straps at the bikini top and bottom. With a slight padding to the top my breast looked like popping out and its super silky finish gave me a kind of… sexy look.

Putting on my jeans and t-shirt, I shoved my beach dress into my bag.

First thing on my to-do list was to go to the clinic. I had to empty my locker and bring my car back. After what happened… at the parking lot, I hadn’t given much thoughts about my car. I didn’t care about anything.

It shouldn’t take much time to grab my things from the clinic, so afterwards I could head to the beach.

Hopefully, I wouldn’t encounter many students there which was very convenient. They were probably already at the beach enjoying their time.


And it was like I had expected.

The halls were empty and most of the amphitheaters and treatment rooms closed, a few patients sometimes passing me but most of the students were already in vacation mode.

As I opened my locker, I tossed all the old gypsum models or old rasps for endodontia away and stuffed the other instruments in a bag.

Good thing that it was a short way to my car, the weight of that bag was breaking my back.

Well, it would have been a short way if I hadn’t seen a mass of silky, black hair walking toward me. Thick lashes fanned his cheeks but when he looked up, our gazes locked and I froze.

Seconds needed to pass before I realized that Ace was standing in front of me.

I thought I would feel something when I see him again. Rage, anger, betray, sadness or hate.

But I felt nothing.

My head was quiet and my limbs numb. It was as if I’d been dead and not even Ace could bring me back to life this time. 

I summoned the rest of my willpower and started to walk past him when he moved.

“Cec–”, he gasped. The weight of my name on his lips was crushing me.

I couldn’t talk to him, or look at him. I couldn’t bear staying in the same room, under the same roof as him.

As I continued walking, he caught up and put his body between me and the entrance.

“Cecily. Please.”

Knowing that saying please must have costed his ego quite an effort, I couldn’t help but feel victorious for a moment. Yet I couldn’t touch him and shove him away.

Eyes narrowed on me but his features didn’t change.

“You don’t have to say anything, you don’t have to talk to me, Cecily but let me explain it to you.”

“There is nothing to be explained.”

My voice was hoarse, unfamiliar to my ears. I was still dead. His voice reached my ears yet it didn’t come even close to my heart. He could talk the whole day and I wouldn’t be able to hear him, he could explain as much as he wanted and it wouldn’t change my mind about him.

“Move”, I said but he was like a brick wall standing there and not budging a centimeter.

“I told you the truth at the parking lot”, he continued, waiting for me to reply, maybe even to argue with him or running away, but my legs were stiff.

“That day – after we’d spent the night at the hotel, I was at a frat party to look for that asshole who forced himself on you. I heard Aro and his friends making jokes and saying… some shit. He confessed that he knew about your brother and I tried to keep his mouth shut. I didn’t tell him anything. I didn’t tell anyone here at the clinic.”

I still couldn’t look at him although I felt his gaze piercing me. His icy eyes never left my face but I could just stare at the glazed door behind him.

He stepped away. My feet almost reached the door when he lowered his voice.

“I know you don’t believe me. But I just wanted you to know.”

My teeth burned from clenching them together. The doors opened and the warm sun tickled my face. I needed to get out of here, now.

“Damn right, Ace. I don’t believe you.”


It surprised me how I had managed to get to my car. I had walked past Ace, anticipating him to grab my arm or keep talking but after I hit him with one last hateful glance, he had stood still and didn’t move an inch.

And still, I didn’t feel anything. Nothing.

Yet the moment I met the girls at the beach, I put on my mask. A forced smile and hollow laughs escaped my lips and I acted as usual, one could say.

“My gosh, it’s already so crowded”, I said to Ruby as we walked to Cassy and Anna. “Yep. I saw Josh and Eric looking for a place earlier, but they disappeared somewhere. You’re lucky we found a good spot there.”

She was right. Beach towels were spread on a quiet spot, a little farer away from the bunch of students that were already wasted. Well, Venice Beach was one of the most popular beaches in Los Angeles, its largeness prominent in comparison to others.

“Thank you, Cecily! Finally a bikini!”, Cassy said as I pulled my dress over my head.  

I managed to laugh at her approval. Well, everything should be fine and convincing as long as I didn’t meet Ace or Aro or Lucas.

Lucky for me, the probability of meeting them was decreasing the more students came.

In an attempt to forget my gloomy thoughts, I went for a swim and let the salty sea water cover my skin, the waves teasing me as they grew wilder while the sun set. It was fun sunbathing with the girls, hearing a bit of their gossip and forgetting my problems for a while.

After a male voice on the microphone shouted something, Ruby and Cassy got up, brushing the sand off their bodies.

“So, I guess it’s about to start!”, Cassy beamed and grabbed my hand. She must have sensed my lack of interest but she was as persistent as usual.

“Cecy, now hurry up”, Ruby said, tugging my other arm. I sighed. 

Looking to my right, I saw most of the students gathered around a little stage that was supposed to be the dancefloor.

“Girls, I’m really not in the mood right now for dancing…”

No matter how hard I tried to convince myself that I could have fun and be happy, I failed right now.

“But you can participate and I’ll cheer you on.”

They exchanged quick glances but decided not to insist this time.

As Ruby, Cassy and I made our way, a blond head passed us and warm eyes rested on my face.

“Hello ladies”, Dexter said, smiling politely at us. “Oh, you’re probably participating at the dance contest.”

“Yep”, Ruby beamed, clapping her hands.

“Well, then good luck. I bet the concurrence has no chance with you.” He winked and I just felt the urge to puke.

We exchanged polite courtesies until he asked about Anna, “Have you seen her?”

“Sure, she’s right… there”, Cassy pointed and he disappeared after a brief goodbye.

I was happy for Anna to have company. She didn’t like dancing and the increasing crowd of drunken people sure wasn’t very tempting for her, either.

“Good luck”, I shouted as Ruby and Cassy got some ribbons with numbers when they walked to the stage.

The host on the microphone was shouting what an exciting event it was for us to celebrate the end of our finals with a little dance contest before the fireworks would start. Apparently, the winner was going to get two tickets to the Dominican Republic – all inclusive. Tempting for all the participants, but right now I couldn’t care less.

A few other people were gathered next to Ruby and Cassy who were more than excited and ready to shake their hips.

The first songs played and everyone was having a good time, swaying their bodies from side to side, some girls even twerking very… professionally. The music intensified, the beat was getting faster after a few songs and some competitors couldn’t keep up or were too exhausted after a while.

Normally, I would have danced automatically. As soon as I heard music or a beat that I liked, my limbs and hips would start to move on their own. But this time, I didn’t feel anything. In fact, the music was getting on my nerves.

But the people around me moved their bodies in synchrony to the rhythm, squeezing me more and more until someone spilled his beer over my dress.

“Hey!”, I yelled.

“Oh, sooorry!”, he apologized, giggling.

Great. Just great.

I sighed and walked away from the crowd, trying to find the beach shower. I didn’t want to walk in my bikini for the rest of the night, it was starting to get chilly. At least his beer didn’t land on my purse.

Making my way to the shower, I found a few other people gathered at the small, wooden bar. People laughed with the barkeeper, some couples were enjoying the fireworks that started to illuminate the night in a multicolored glow. But there was one voice I recognized immediately.

One laughing, loathsome voice that was like nails scratching a chalkboard.

“Dude, I swear I didn’t have to do much, after I mentioned her brother, he was ready to pay any amount. I was shocked he said yes to thousand Dollars!”

Aro kept laughing with Lucas, and my heart suddenly raced.

Thousand Dollars?

What the hell was he talking about?

“You had sheer dumb luck that you saw her brother at the police station”, Lucas beamed, smacking his friend’s shoulder.

“Nah, that night was fucked up. I told Jax to leave when the cops caught us, so the bastards kept asking me questions. And then I saw him. In handcuffs while the cop repeated his name.”

Lucas snorted. “Told ya, you were ridiculously lucky that night, Aro.”

 “What are you going to do with the money, Aro?”, Lucas asked and tossed his beer away.

I tried to keep his mouth shut… Didn’t he say that?

No, that was insane. Ace couldn’t… he wouldn’t… pay money to…?

A few people passed me and I seized the opportunity to hide on the other side, perking up my ears. I was amazed how close I was to them, yet they didn’t seem to notice me at all. It was dark and they were too focused on talking.

“Don’t know… I need to give Jax his money, the rest is for weed.”

“Jeez, I haven’t seen Jax in a while”, Lucas sighed. “Which is good. That guy really is insane. Crazy tattoos and always drugging girls at parties… how often was he in jail?”

“A couple times. Four or five maybe”, Aro shrugged his shoulders indifferently, as if they were talking about the most random thing and not a dangerous person, obviously.

I saw Lucas shuddering, shaking his head.

“Man, I wouldn’t want to have any business with him. You better give him his money, Aro.” The badass Lucas was gone, replaced by an anxious one.

Aro nibbled on his nails, a bad habit he got when he was nervous. But I’ve never seen him that restless.

“I know, I know… fuck, I just give him his money tonight. He wanted to come anyway. Just hope he’s happy with half of it.”
“What!? You only have half of the money?”, Lucas snapped. I crawled nearer to them, the darkness enveloping my body.

“Chill, dude”, Aro sighed.

“How can I chill?”, Lucas hissed, “You just had to tell that Cecily everything! Why couldn’t you play along with her, even threaten him with her so he could have given you more!”

“Shut up, Lucas! Do you think it was easy for me to pretend all of that bullshit I had to go through?”.

“Look, what if you just tell Jax about Ace”, Lucas suggested once he calmed down. “Jax could beat the shit out of him so he would give him the money he needs.”

A few seconds passed before the tone in Aro’s voice changed.

“Huh, not a bad idea. Ace was looking for him for a couple weeks, anyway. I could tell him where to find him and then…”, he hit his empty glass on the counter. “Problem’s solved.”

Jax. Jax. Jax.

It struck me like a bolt of lightning as I brought together the pieces of the puzzle.

My body began to tremble. The nightmare of that night suddenly had gotten a name. His grave voice echoed in my head, his blond-blue hair filled my vision. Air fled my lungs as I thought of his heavy body against mine, the smell of alcohol on his lips when he…

My skin burned painfully as I remembered where he touched me, and I wanted to scream.

Aro and Lucas kept talking yet their whole conversation seemed so far away, the content of what they were saying unimportant. Once the shock subsided, one thought coursed through my head. The only thing that mattered right now, the only thought that was hammering inside my head, screaming at me, was that Ace had told the truth.

And I didn’t believe him. I yelled at him and didn’t want to hear any of his excuses or explanations.

All my deadness, all the things I didn’t feel those past days were overflowing me like a tidal wave. I was drowning in emotions, like a chaos whirling through my mind. Guilt and anger rose inside my chest and heated my body.  

“Aro, you were really a genius”, Lucas said between some laughs. “I didn’t think Cecily could be so dumb to fall for you. I guess I owe you ten bucks.”

I couldn’t hear any more of this.

As I whirled around, ready to run away as usual, I bumped into a hard chest. Strong fingers gripped my shoulder, and I looked up to see a pair of brilliant eyes staring at me.

Ace’s features changed. He must have heard what they just said, too. He must have heard how I had let myself get fooled.

Tears started to build up at the corner of my eyes, yet I forced myself not to cry. I would not let that asshole Aro cause any tears.

Ace’s eyes wandered to Aro and Lucas, his features hardened. He wanted to go there and hurt him, I could sense that. But some instinct in me told me to stop him. I couldn’t let him fight for me all the time. I was not a little, weak child that constantly needed to be protected.

He looked down at me when I placed my hand across his chest, causing him to stop. In a second before I could process what I was doing, I made my way to Lucas and Aro.

They were sitting with their backs to me. Being too focused on laughing and making jokes about me being a complete idiot, they didn’t realize that I was standing behind them.

I tapped on Aro’s shoulder. Annoyed, he sighed, “What–”

Slowly, he turned around, his eyes grew bigger the moment his stupid face was looking at me.

“Oh, Ce–”

Wasting no time, I clenched my hand into a fist. Violent energy rolled through me and I channelized everything in that one punch. I aimed for his face – any part would have been fine, and my knuckles connected with his nose. A blast of an unknown force in me hit him and caused a crack sound.

Holy shit… OUCH! My hand started throbbing the moment I hit him with the greatest impact I could create in my fist. Despite the increasing ache in my hand, it was worth to see blood flowing out of his nose down his lips and Aro crying of pain.

“You fucking bitch!”, he screamed while holding his nose with his hands, blood dripping between them.

My body was pumped with rage, mixed with the adrenaline running through my veins. My skin crackled and I wanted to do it again.

Aro’s face was contorted in pain and rage as he got up and continued hurling deep insults at me.

My confidence seemed to fade away as soon as his body towered over me, forcing me to take a few steps backwards.

“You whore! You’re going to pay for this, you little piece of shit!”

People gathered around us when he continued yelling at me and coming closer.

“Do you think anyone would want to be together with you, you little piece of shit? Do you think anyone would even want to fuck you?”, he screamed and lifted his fist, ready to haul off, when Ace grabbed his arm firmly.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” Ace’s voice was low, dangerous. Like a cougar watching his prey. A devilish smirk was around his full lips when he grabbed Aro by his t-shirt and slammed his fist into his jaw. Aro stumbled backward, landing with his head on the sandy ground.

More people gathered around us, shouting, and trying to calm Aro and Lucas down who had a fit of rage, now.

“Come”, Ace said and grabbed my hand, pushing between spectators, and heading to the parking lot.

His steps were as usual too big to keep up with him, so I had to half-jog. My thumb found its way to his knuckles, the surface of his skin rough and sore. Because of me.

“That was amazing”, he gasped, his steps getting bigger and faster. “Really amazing. I didn’t know you could punch someone like that, Cec!”

He sounded surprised, awed even. I wasn’t as proud of myself as Ace. I just broke someone’s nose which wasn’t very nice or ladylike or well-behaved.

Also, my hand really hurt now and I was wondering if it was worth it. In movies, it always looked so simple and painless yet in real life it hurt infernally.

Oh boy, screw that shit, it’s Aro we’re talking about, I would do that all over again! He deserved it and I didn’t feel the slightest remorse. For the first time, I was glad orthodontics had made my hands so rough and strong.

As we arrived at his car, he pushed my back against the car, his face examining mine in deep concern.

“How’s your hand?”, he asked and gently touched my sore knuckles.

“Okay, I guess.” It hurt but the pain was endurable. “And yours?”

“I’ve seen worse”, he said, yet his eyes never left mine.

We were quiet for a while, the sound of fireworks far away and insignificant to the sight of the man I should have trusted all along.

“I am sorry, Ace.”

It didn’t feel enough to express my sorrow and deep regret. I had felt pity for Aro, I had defended Aro, I had gotten mad at Ace when I saw he had hurt him, yet he did it all to protect me and I mistrusted him.

I am sorry was not enough. Not the bit. But I didn’t know any phrase that could describe my feelings right now. 

“You don’t have to be, Cec.” He tucked my hair behind my ear but I was unable to look him in the eyes.

Yes, I do, Ace. I am more than sorry. I am disgusted with myself for even having doubts whether Ace was telling the truth or not.

His eyes broke away from mine, his face tensed within a second.

I gulped. “Yes, Ace–”

“Cec–”, he cut in, closing his eyes. The moment he opened them, a flash of anger was crossing his face.

Without a warning, he grabbed my hand and pulled me between the cars, his steps bigger than before and I really had to jog.

“Ace, what’s going on?”, I shouted.

“Where did you park your car?”


“Where did you park your car, Cecily?”, he repeated. Calling me Cecily suddenly hurt more than his harsh, loud voice.

“There…”, I answered meekly. A lump rose inside my throat and I swallowed hard.

Once again, he pulled my hand, his grip stern.

“Go home”, he said without preamble. My heart was sinking. Was he still…? Of course he was still mad at me. For a moment, I’d thought he had forgiven me yet his face had never been that sullen.

“What is going on, Ace?”, I yelled. The moment those words left my mouth, I wanted to slap myself as I saw his stone-cold eyes.

“I don’t want to see you right now. Just go home.”


That was not the Ace that saved me countless times, the Ace that could make me laugh with just one word, the Ace that could touch me in a way I have never been touched before.

“Ace, I can see there is something going on! Why can’t you tell me?”

He grabbed his hair, his eyes unable to look at mine. A sign that he was pissed.

“Cecily, get the fuck out of here!”, he shouted. His voice made me cringe. “I don’t want to talk to you and I don’t want to see you right now. Was that clear enough for you? Why can’t you just do what I’m asking for once!”

He was serious.

He didn’t even want to look me in the eyes.

I wanted to ask him if this is about me having mistrusted him, but my lips were sewed. He was not going to forgive me any time soon and I couldn’t blame him.

“Fine”, I said, my voice croaky.

I got inside my car and from the corner of my eyes I saw him turning his back to me. As as I drove away from this damn beach, my lips trembled. I dug my teeth in them to distract myself but it was no use. I just wanted to bury my head under my blanket and stay there for the rest of the summer.





I watched her driving away.

Turning my head to the left, I walked as fast as I could back to my car where I had seen someone leaning against a wall, not very far from here. Someone with blue hair and a tattooed neck. My eyes had spotted him while talking to Cec. He was lurking like a wolf in the shadows of the streets.

She had to get out of here the moment he had seen her. I wouldn’t be able to focus on that asshole when she would’ve stayed. She would’ve tried to come with me or talk me out of it but I didn’t want neither of those things.

I just hurt her.

But I’ll explain everything to her later. If she will let me explain it to her.

Jax. That was his name.

He seemed to recognize me as I made my way to him. His lips pursed to a smirk as he started walking along the street.

I followed him through the alleys, his steps becoming bigger. He stopped at a small side street, his friends waiting for him, apparently.

Great, a fight with three others.

Whatever. If that was necessary to get to that one, I’ll beat them all.

“Good thing you could keep up with me”, Jax said, smirking.

“Good thing you showed up tonight”, I said, clenching my hand to a fist. “I was looking for you.”

Jax took off his jacket. “Yeah, Aro told me.”

Just hearing his name out loud gave me an extra jolt of energy. I just had to picture him on top of her and my skin burned to bury my fist into his face. To smack this smile out of his face and make sure he’ll never look at her or any other girl again.

“I’ve waited to see you again for a long time”, he growled viciously and came closer.

I managed to conceal my snort as a laugh. “You have no idea.”





I arrived at home and texted Ace a couple times after calling Ruby and Cassy. I told them I had left and pictured their surprised looks. I didn’t know what to tell them except that I didn’t feel well. I couldn’t tell the truth, that Ace had once again achieved to leave me utterly confused and broken-hearted.

He didn’t reply.

I called him several times, but the voice on the phone told me that there was no service right now.

So he really didn’t want to speak to me. And I couldn’t blame him.

I have insulted him more than once even though he was telling the truth. Did I really think he would forgive me just like that after saying I’m sorry?

I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling. What a sick irony that everyone was celebrating while I was laying here and feeling nothing but mere sorrow.


I was surprised I even fell asleep. After hours of tossing and turning in my bed, my eyelids finally closed and my body relaxed.

But I woke up in the middle of the night, my heart racing and limbs trembling.

I had a nightmare. My neck was soaked with sweat as images of my dream appeared through my mind.


I dreamed about him. I guess hearing Aro talking about him did bring some memories back that I wanted to erase. I haven’t dreamed about him for a long time. Just one nightmare shortly after it happened and now.

The wall clock read four thirty.

Giving up on finding any sleep right now, I decided to go downstairs.

Mom and Dad were out of town and Marlene had a sleepover at her friend’s house.

I was home alone. Normally, I didn’t mind being alone, but after that nightmare, my body was shaking and I was scared. Which was absolutely irrational. It was just a dream. I shouldn’t let virtual images get under my skin.

Grabbing the remote, I started watching a TV show until my tiredness overwhelmed me and I fell asleep as soon as the sun came up.

Probably, I would have slept until midday, but there was a knock on the door that woke me.

My heart skipped a beat as the person knocked a second time.


My thoughts sprang to him and I was more than certain that it had to be him.

I stumbled over my blanket as I made my way to the door and tore it open.

“Ace–”, I said breathlessly.

But it wasn’t him.

Dressed in an imposing three-piece suit, a man I had never seen before stood in front of me.

A fancy, black car parked in our driveway, the driver standing next to it looking as elegant as this man in front of me.

His smile caught my attention when his eyes rested on me.

“Uh… sorry, I had just mistaken you for someone else”, I said meekly.

“Yes, I heard you were saying Ace.” His voice was even and the sound of his chuckle soft.

Heat enveloped my cheeks, and I nodded briefly. I was standing in my polka dot pajamas with my messy hair in front of a man that could be an actor from Hollywood or the director of 20th Century Fox.

“Oh my dear, I am sorry for disturbing you on your Saturday morning and coming so impolitely to your house”, he said and extended his arm.

“Hello, I am Thomas Skidmore. It’s nice to meet you”, he said and shook my hand.

I still had no idea who that man was and I was starting to get the feeling he was knocking at the wrong door. He sure was looking for someone in Beverly Hills.

“Hello. I’m Cecily Martesse”, I mumbled, waiting for him to tell me that he was looking for someone else.

His amber eyes measured me for a second before he cleared his throat. My face was covered in mere confusion.

“You have no idea who I am, don’t you?”, he asked.

I shook my head. Should I know him? Did I already meet him once and I forgot? Maybe he was a friend of Dad’s or his colleague from work.

“Well, he still didn’t tell you, didn’t he”, he muttered to himself.

Okay, now I was beyond confused.

“Excuse me Sir, but I think you have mistaken me for someone else–”

“Oh no, I was looking for you, Cecily.” His voice was incredibly composed. “I came to thank you for what you did to my son.”

“W-What?”, I said ungracefully. “Your son?”

“Yes”, he answered and smiled again, as if remembering a wonderful memory.

“I am talking about Ace – he is my son.”

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