My life

When people look at Emily, they see a sixteen years old pretty girl. But when Emily is looking at herself in the mirror she see a devastated girl who is crying for help. But no one knows, besides Emily. This is Emilys diary where you get to read what she is holding inside.

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2. Chapter one

Dear diary.

So today was as any other day. Horrible!

I woke up, to the smell of pancakes. It was lovely, they smelled delicious and I do not think that I have ever left my bed so quick. My alarm clock always ring at six am. However, I always spent at least twenty minutes in bed, mainly to think about reasons why I not have to go to school.

Never mind, back to the pancakes. I practically ran down the stairs as fast as I could. However, do you know what I saw when I went into the kitchen. I´m being serious here it was the worst thing ever, you can´t even imagine. There were no pancakes. My mom had made pancakes, but for Julie and Marcus, however when I asked where my pancakes where she said, “Julie and Marcus earned it, they haven’t cried all night” what the fuck did she mean. I deserve pancakes; because of the twins, I had no one. I needed my mom and dad for what I am going through. They have not cried all night. Well I cry every night but I deserve pancakes for even making it through the night. My life is a living hell and they do not even notice. I tried to tell my dad once all the things I am going through but as usual, the conversation ends with us talking about the twins.

I do not even know why I am trying. My life do not make any sense, every day I wake up and actually do something other than just stay in bed I am going through physical torture. Still I believe that someday it all will change and my life will get better.

I actually got a little bit of hope today. I met a nice guy today. His name is Scott. I met him in my economy class; we had to split up in pairs and he chose me, and a thing that just made it all better was that Anastacia did not have a partner. I caught myself smiling today, which is the first time in a year. However, Scott and I actually worked pretty well together. In situations like these, I hate myself because after class Scott asked me to join him for lunch. When he asked me the first thing that ran through my mind was “Hell yeah” but then I got realistic for a second. Why would Scott eat lunch with me? Somebody was definitely pranking me. So I said no, because that is just how stupid I am. I thought I was protecting myself from a mean boy who just wanted to make fun of me.

However, I have to admit I stalked him on Facebook. According to his page, he just moved here and his first day in our school was today. I guess that is why he liked me; he has not heard the rumours yet. However, I thought wrong; after I had dinner, I came up to my room and had a message. I normally do not read them because they are mostly just hate. However, I opened this one, I do not even know why. Now I am glad I opened it, the message was from Scott.

“Hey Emily, I hope It is okay I stalked my way to your phone number. I just wanted you to know that if you are up for lunch I am still down. We could eat lunch together tomorrow, if you want to of course. No pressure.”

At first, I did not know what to respond. Then I just went all in, I needed to know if he was screwing with me.

“Hey Scott. I want to have lunch with you, trust me I really want to. However, because of some things that have happened in my past I have trouble-trusting people. If you don´t already know there is a rumour about me in school, that is why no one likes me. I suggest you ask people about that and when you hear it, then decide if you still want to have lunch with me.”

He has not answered yet. I knew he was pranking me; his page on Facebook is probably fake. Now I at least know how it feels to have hope. I really liked that feeling and I will continue my search for that feeling again tomorrow. However, for now I am going to sleep.

See you soon.

That was the official first chapter of “My Life” I hope you like reading it as must as I enjoyed writing it. I know my writing is not perfect and if there is some mistakes it is because I am not from England In real life. I was born and raised in Denmark and I still live here. So forgive me for my mistakes but I try.

To next time. Byeeeee

 

 

 

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