Diaries of a Madman

When Discord breaks free of his stone prison, he proves to be much older and wiser than he was on the show. A being of ancient and unimaginable power, he forces Celestia to make a deal to save her little ponies. What she doesn't realize is that one of the terms of the deal is that she forgets ever making it. Enter Navarone, a poor human just trying to get by—or at least, to the ponies that's what he looks like. Pulled from his home by an accidental summoning from one Twilight Sparkle, Navarone is thrust into a world of ponies and more violence than he expected from such a peaceful seeming world. These are his adventures—with a few asides from everybody's favorite Lord of Chaos, of course.


41. Chapter Thirty-Four Part 1

By the time the sun rose, I had written three plays and started on a dozen others before I realized I didn’t remember enough to write them down correctly. If I ever did get them published, I wouldn’t do it under my name; I’m not a thief. I giggled to myself as I leaned back as far as my wings would let me. I finally have a use for my real name.

I achingly got to my legs and went to the bathroom. Everything in there finished, I started strapping on some more weapons. Busy day. Gotta see Rarity, gotta find where Applejack hid all her booze, got to find Pinkie and Fluttershy and bring them to Chrysalis, got to get tested by Twilight if she ever made the poison, probably have to see Cadance eventually, and I’ll probably have to be there when the love poison is tested with the changelings.

I’m getting too old for this shit. No wonder Celestia is such a troll.

I opened my door, humming a little song, and bumped into an ugly bug-pony that resolved into Doppel when I brushed the crust from my eyes. “My apologies, dear,” I said as I pulled her to her feet. “Looking for me, or do you just enjoy standing outside doors?”

“You seem awfully chipper,” she said harshly. Not a morning person, I suppose. “The queen wants you.”

“Can you take the shape of anything, or does it have to be something alive?”

“What does that have to do with—”

“Because if you could be a walking, talking teddy bear, that would be adorable.”

She looked at me for a moment and saw the goofy grin on my face. She frowned. “That counts as permission.”

A minute later, a walking, talking grizzly bear dragged my giggling form through Chrysalis’s door.

“What is the meaning of this?” Chrysalis demanded. “What did you do to him?”

Doppel changed back to her own form. “He was acting kinda funny. I thought it best he be brought as quickly as possible.”

I pushed myself to my feet and found I couldn’t get the smile off my face. “I think we fucked up by taking that sorrow away. I haven’t felt this good in years. I was up all night writing tragedy, and I feel great!” She looked at me with her glowing green eyes and opened her mouth, but I said, “You know, you really look awesome. Can I t—Holy fuck what is wrong with me?”

“Can you touch what?”

“Your wings. They look—No.” I pulled a dagger out and slashed it across my palm and concentrated on the pain. I felt my mind slowly fall back to calmness. I looked back up to Chrysalis, who was staring at me with concern. “Nice try.”

She glared at me. “This was not my doing, Navarone. I told you that what we tried was untested; I have never taken sorrow before. And if you truly do wish to touch my wings, you will have to get your hand looked at first; I will not have you running blood over any part of my body.”

“Fair enough. I’ll bring Pinkie and Fluttershy by when I can either make time or find them. I’ll try to do one at a time, to spare your sanity.”

“Thank you, Navarone. I don’t suppose I could trouble your mind a bit more?”

“No. The only thing keeping my mind clear right now is the pain; I will not risk doing further damage to my mental state until I know how to control the effects. You should have plenty of food when we test the love poison, whenever we do that. If you want, I can lead Doppel to the library so you can send her to get books whenever you need them.”

Her eyes looked to my hand. “Should you not get that taken care of?”

“It’ll close in a few minutes. Another one of the spells over me deadens physical sensations, and decreases healing times. Sex isn’t as much fun, but I feel a whole lot less pain.”

She grinned at that. “We’ll see about that.” She turned to her maid, who was flipping through one of the books I brought. “Doppel, follow Navarone to the library. I suppose he will tell you what else to do.”

She stood and saluted before trotting to my side.

Chrysalis turned her gaze back to me. “Navarone, try to keep your mind clear. I believe you will be more useful to me with your mind distant.”

“Thanks. I think. Doppel should be back shortly; it isn’t a long walk.” With a nod, we left the room.

“Doesn’t that hurt?” she asked when we started down the hall to the library.

“Yes. Quite a bit. That’s the point.” We stopped in my room to grab a small towel that I wrapped around the hand.

On the way to the library, she said, “I don’t know how you knew the queen liked those terrible romance novels, but that got you a bunch of brownie points with her. And then pretending it was for me? You’re lucky she didn’t take you there on the floor.”

“That would have been awkward.” Especially with Fluttershy right there. And if Luna had walked in? Oh man, both of our heads would have been on pikes. “It’s a good thing you run a tighter ship than that; I can’t imagine you ever letting her get away with something that… naughty.”

She sighed wistfully. “I do try to look after her, but sometimes she’s just such a handful. Royalty can be such a pain.”

I let out a laugh. “Don’t I know it.” I’ve caught Luna and Celestia both giving me looks in relatively public places ever since that damn bet I agreed to.

We were catching looks from the passing servants and glares from the passing guards. After the fifth guard dropped into a fighting stance upon seeing Doppel, I said, “Feel free to turn into any pony you like that isn’t a princess.”

She turned into Blueblood.

“Smartass. You know what I meant.” She turned into a random servant. “Eh, that works. Just no seducing anyone when you aren’t in your regular shape. If you do manage to seduce someone here as your real shape, feel free to change into whatever they want, if they’re into roleplaying or something.”

She smiled. “It’s amazing what you hear when you sit on the wall as a bug. I believe there are a few human fetishists here.”

“Well, that’s not something I needed—or wanted—to hear. Since you don’t actually know what I look like with my pants off, good luck figuring that one out.”

“I have a good imagination; I’ve been doing this a while. Usually I’m the one that infiltrates, but the queen decided to take this matter into her own hooves.”

“Well, just be careful here. Chrysalis is too useful to be banished because you fuck up.”

“You know, as long as you keep feeding me, you’ll never have to worry about it…”

“Are you… blackmailing me?”

“Well when you put it like that, it makes what I’m doing seem wrong! I’m just ensuring I get fed. Is that really so bad?”

“When we get to the library, you can take a few more memories. But you’re not doing that in the hall.” Especially not if she’ll want to turn into whoever she reads from my mind.

“I’ll count the moments…” That’s not creepy or anything.

Luckily for her, we weren’t that far from the library. I led the way in and she gasped. “I’ve never seen so many books!”

“You work here, Rose Dancer,” the librarian said. “Are you feeling okay?”

Doppel grinned and turned back to her real form, causing the librarian to jump and scream. She shushed him. “This is a library, you old bat! You’re supposed to be quiet in here!”

He fainted. “Okay, I’ll admit, that was hilarious,” I said. “Now come on. I don’t want anyone to see you ripping into my mind.”

Unfortunately, Twilight and Taya were in the library and came running at the librarian’s shout. “Nav, what’s wr—oh. It’s you,” Twilight said, glaring at Doppel.

Taya was staring at my hand. “What happened to you?”

“I cut myself shaving. It’s nothing big.”

Twilight looked at my face. “You still have… stubble, I believe you called it.”

“Well yeah, Twilight, it grows back. I mean, it’s hair!”

Doppel giggled. Twilight glared at her. Taya said, “But why were you shaving your hands? I didn’t know hair grew there.”

Only if you’re Catholic. “It’s been a while since I last shaved; I was really out of practice.”

Now Doppel was just outright laughing. Twilight shifted her glare to me.

“You might want to help the librarian,” I said. “He seems kind of out of it right now.”

“Navarone, we need to talk,” Twilight said through grated teeth.

“Can it wait a few minutes? Doppel needs to feed.”

“No. It can’t.”

I shrugged. “Then she can do it here.” I bent down a bit but found that I was being floated off by a purple aura. “I guess not. Doppel, head on back; I think I’m in trouble.” Doppel giggled and shifted back to the maid before trotting away.

Twilight floated me back to the stacks. Taya followed. Without letting me go, Twilight demanded, “Just what do you think you’re doing, Navarone?”

“Right now, I think I’m getting floated around. This is kinda fun; you should try it.” I nodded down to Taya, who picked Twilight up in a light orange aura, causing Twilight to lose concentration and drop me. “It is not fun enough to do it against my will, however.”

“Taya, let me go.” Taya didn’t, but looked up to me. I nodded and Twilight fell to the ground. “Navarone, you are getting way too close to that… that thing! Both of them! Were you actually going to let her feed off your emotions?”

“It would have been Doppel’s second session with me, yeah. Chrysalis has been at my mind three times already. Why?”

Twilight’s eyes seemed to go impossibly wide. “Navarone, they’re brainwashing you! Can’t you see it?”

I clenched my hand and brought it up. “I’m not entirely positive they are. I think my mind is just reacting oddly to the emotions they’re taking; I haven’t thought about some of them in a long time, and having them pull them from my mind is relieving me of stress I long ago forgot I was bearing. I was meaning to talk to Celestia about that today to see if she can see any evidence of mind-rape.”

“Then that’s where we are going.”

“I was planning on seeing Rarity first, actually. And I need to bring Pinkie and Fluttershy by to see Chrysalis; I know Celestia usually doesn’t start seeing people until around noon.”

Twilight’s eyes narrowed. “We are going right now. And you aren’t bringing any of our friends near that monster!”

“Twilight, I think you might be a little bit biased. I mean, she just tried to kill your brother and doom your entire country.”

“Are you even listening to yourself?”

“Oh God no. I tune out just about everything I say because I know I’d slap myself if I ever heard any of it.” Taya giggled.

“What would you do if she tried to kill your sister and take over your world?”

“Twilight, she became my sister. I punched her in the face.” She smiled at that. “If it’ll make you feel better, though, I can push my meeting to Celestia up. But I still need to see the others.”

“They can wait. I can’t lose you to that… thing.”

“Fiiiine. Let’s go.”

We started off, out of the library. After we got out of it, Taya said, “Can I heal your hand?”

I jerked it up. “No. That… That would be a bad idea.”

Twilight looked at me. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“The pain is the only thing keeping me clear-headed. I was in an unbearably good mood earlier, and I had to do something to force my mind open.”

Twilight stopped. “What?”

I grimaced. “I was up all night trying to copy some really famous stories from my world. All of them are tragedies. That, combined with Chrysalis taking some of my old pain, put me in the best mood I’ve been in since the last time I can remember. It was awful… I actually asked to touch Chrysalis’s wings before I decided enough was enough.”

Twilight’s mouth dropped. I looked over to Taya and saw she had a similar reaction. After a moment they looked at each other. I took a step back, further down the hall. They nodded. I took another step. They turned to me with shark-like grins. I turned and bolted and didn’t make three steps before a brown aura surrounded me and stopped me.

I was spun around, left to face two grinning unicorns. “Taya, what are you doing?”

“Making you happy, of course.”

“That is highly unnecessary.”

She shrugged. “You’ll get over it.”

I felt a warmth in my body and my hand stopped throbbing. I tried concentrating deeper but couldn’t feel a thing. Oh shit. The aura around me dropped and I thudded to the ground. The two of them looked at me expectantly.

I swallowed. “Nothing I say and do in the next few hours will ever be mentioned again. I already feel my mind… changing.”

They both giggled. Twilight started walking past me. While she walked past I put my hand on her mane and ran my fingers through it.

“I don’t touch your hair enough… It’s really soft!”

Twilight stared at me. I was busy scooping Taya in my arms and putting her on my back, giving her a piggyback ride of sorts.

When I realized that I was giving a pony a ride instead of a pony giving me a ride, I started giggling.

“Twilight, I think we broke him…”

I said, “Taya, when was the last time you got to be this tall? Oh, when we get to Celestia, you should grab her crown and hold it out of her reach!”

Twilight looked a bit alarmed at that. “I think I underestimated his idea of a good mood.”

“I feel fine, guys,” I said. “Better than I have in a while, actually. My mind feels a bit… off… but otherwise I feel fine.” I looked around and saw we were near a window. I stopped and looked out it. “God, who commissioned that fuck-ugly statue? They should be shot. And that statue should be crushed.”

Twilight looked out the window and gasped. “The princess commissioned that statue, Nav!”

“Well, she has shitty taste. Come on, I want to see how long it takes her to realize her crown is gone. I bet I can distract her by making her notice how long her snout is compared to everypony else’s.”

Twilight squeaked. I looked at her and noticed how brightly she was blushing.

I blinked. “Holy fuck.” I shook my head and tried to concentrate. After a second, I pulled my knife out again and slit my other hand open. I put the knife away and turned to Twilight. “You stop your shit. Now let’s go.” She followed, her tail low. I moved the blood-soaked towel to my other hand. I stopped. “Why is there a filly on my back?”

“Because you put me up here,” Taya said.

“Oh. Well, if you want to come down, just tell me.” I started walking again. “With all the weapons on my back, I can’t imagine it’s really that comfortable.”

“Your wings are really soft,” is all she said.

“Fair enough. Just don’t touch them too much, please.”

“I won’t.”

“Twilight, where will I be able to find Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack? After I meet with Celestia, of course.”

“I’ll… I’ll tell you after. If you are brainwashed, I don’t want to risk them.”

“Eh, fair enough. Taya, if I start acting silly again, kick me in the back of the head.”


“You sounded way too happy about that.” She didn’t answer. “So where are we going, anyway? Where is Celestia usually at this time in the morning?”

“Her private dining hall,” Twilight answered.

“And that is where, exactly?” I heard her sigh as she quickened her step to get in front of me to lead the way. “I’ve never noticed it before, but when you mares start walking, I can totally se—” Taya kicked me in the back of the head, knocking me flat on the ground. “Thank you.” I pushed myself to my knees and saw that Twilight was a shade of red that I didn’t think was possible. I got the rest of the way up. “I think we should walk side by side.”

She didn’t say anything. I started walking and she matched my speed.

“As I already said, nothing I just said or will be saying in the past few hours will ever be held against me. You brought this on yourself.” I pulled my dagger out and drew another slit on the same hand. “I’m going to need more towels.”

Twilight was muttering something. I decided it would be in my best interest to ignore her and try to lose myself in the pain. I was pretty far in, which is why I was a bit surprised when I saw a dark blue monster in front of me. I blinked and saw that it was just Luna.

“Navarone, why are you bleeding?” she asked.

“It’s just that time of the mo—” Taya kicked me in the head again. “Oh come on, that was the normal me!”

Taya just giggled. I’m surrounded by sadistic ponies.

“Here, let me heal you.”

I pulled back, almost going unbalanced because of Taya. “No, that would be a bad idea.”

Luna frowned. “I’m not going to let you bleed in front of me, Nav. Now stop acting like a foal and let me heal you.”

“He’s right, Princess,” Twilight said. “It would be a bad idea to heal him right now.”

Luna looked at her with eyes that should probably have been burning. “Fine. Why, Twilight Sparkle, should I let him bleed?”

Twilight stepped up and whispered something in Luna’s ear. Luna turned bright red, flicked her eyes to me and then to Taya, and then burst out laughing. “If he’s going to do that to ‘Tia I’m definitely going to heal him!” She took a step toward me.

“Taya, sic her!” I bent down a bit so Taya could get a clear line of jump. Luna stopped. Twilight face-hoofed. After a moment, Taya kicked me in the back of the head.

I straightened. “Note to self—Princesses are immune to filly attacks.”

Luna was frowning. “Yes, I see what you mean. There is definitely something wrong with him. Navarone, you do know that notes to one’s self are generally personal and not something to be shared, right?”

“Well, I figured it would help Twilight if she ever had a filly of her own. Or Taya, if she did.”

Luna just shook her head. “Come on, Nav. Celestia is still eating breakfast. I was on my way to bed, but I think this is more important.”

She turned and led the way to a small side door. She opened it and went inside. I heard Celestia say, “Back already? Did you think on my proposal?”

Luna sighed as she stepped in further. “I already told you no. The other two would never agree anyway. Now come in, you three.”

I pushed my way in, ducking extra low so Taya didn’t hit her head. Twilight followed me. “Oh hello Nav. And Taya and Twilight. Wait, why are you bleeding?”

I sighed. “Blah blah blah.” I grabbed Twilight’s mouth with my non-bleeding hand and squeezed it open a few times while saying “Blah blah blah.” I stopped and stood back up. “Blah blah bl—” I reached around and grabbed Taya’s hoof and gently hit myself in the head.

“I see. Well, come forward. I will try to see how much damage Chrysalis did; I told you to be careful with her.” Wow, Celestia is really good. Pinkie would be impressed.

“Twilight, can you get Taya down? I don’t want to bleed on her.” I felt the filly gently ease off my back and I stepped up to Celestia.

“Sit, Nav. This shouldn’t hurt unless I have to push past a guard. And if Chrysalis put a guard in your mind, it’s going to hurt a lot.”

“Before we start, what all are you going to be able to see in there? If you can see my memories, I’ll just take my chances.”

“The only thing I’ll see with this spell is if you are being controlled. If you are, I might have to check some of your most recent memories to know how best to break that control, but I will not go back farther than two days.”

I sat. She moved her horn in close to my head and it started glowing. While she was concentrating, I eyed her crown. I could totally grab it. I looked away but eventually my eyes darted back. It would be so funny, man. I closed my eyes, trying to feel what she was doing. Eventually my eyes opened again and I was left looking at her crown. Just as my hand was lifting up, she pulled back.

“You are fine, Navarone. Chrysalis didn’t d—What are you doing?”

I snatched my hand back down. “Nothing.” I heard Luna and Taya giggling behind me. Celestia opened her mouth but I said, “Are you technically bald?” Her eyes went wide and I heard Twilight gasp. Luna burst out laughing. “I mean, whatever that stuff is made of it isn’t really hair, right?” While Celestia was trying to formulate a response, I looked around the room a bit. “Hey, why are you eating cake for breakfast?”

“Maybe… Maybe I missed something…”

“I feel really good today,” I said. I could feel two halves of my mind fighting. Whatever Chrysalis did, it really screwed up my mind. “No wonder Shining Armor had that goofy grin on his face.” His expression was mostly blank while he was brainwashed, but his smile was hilarious.

“Navarone, look at me,” Celestia said. I turned to her and saw her eyes. “I need permission to go into your mind. I will only look through the past day.”

I pulled the dagger from my belt and set it on the table. “Never discuss a single thing you see with anyone. Including me. See what you need and find the solution and tell me what to do. Those are my terms.” I could feel my mind splitting, the dark side taking control sometimes and the strange new side taking control at others.

“Deal. Close your eyes.” Before I did, I saw Twilight edging closer. She probably wanted to see this magic being used. My eyes slid closed.

I saw an intense light filtering through my eyelids. I heard two gasps and assumed Luna knew what was coming and had her eyes closed as well. And then I saw and heard nothing.

My eyes shot open sometime later. I saw Celestia pacing. Luna had apparently left some time ago. Twilight was gone and Taya was lying on my back. Apparently I fell out of my chair at some point. I pushed myself up a bit to a sitting position and Taya hopped off.

Celestia looked over. “Good, you’re awake. Twilight is combing through records, trying to find evidence of Chrysalis ever coming to Equestria; I don’t remember, but I was in a dark spot back then. Your mind is fine, just shaken up. With what you let her remove, the tumultuous balance you had in your mind was shattered. I suspect from what I was able to tell when I was in there that you will be stable in a day or two. I just have no idea where that will leave you. Now, I would really like to talk to you about some of your memories.”

“You agreed to not discuss them.”

“I did. And that is why I am not going to without your permission.”

“Which you will not get.” I pushed myself up the rest of the way so I was standing. I pulled my knife off the table and slipped it in a sheath. “Do you need me for anything today, or am I free to go about trying to fix the Chrysalis situation?”

“Twilight mentioned that the three fillies here knew how to make the love poison. I believe you know them. They are somewhere in the palace or on its grounds. If you could find them and bring them to the throne room, that would save me time. Then you need to go to talk to Rarity. After that, you are free until the love poison is ready to be tested.”

“Awesome. Come on, Taya. Let’s go find your friends.”

We had to walk past Celestia on the way to the door. When I was right next to her, I felt my hand twitching. “Don’t even think about it,” she warned.

“Taya, how fast can you run?”



“CHEESE IT!” I snatched Celestia’s crown and booked it.

I shot out the door and knocked Twilight down as she was walking in with a really old book. “Wha—Is tha—NAVARONE!”


I was already out a window before Celestia’s voice called out the first syllable of my name, giggling the whole time. I knew it was probably really stupid. I flew straight up to try to break any line of sight, though I knew Celestia could bring me right to her if she wanted to. Given that the window I jumped out of was probably too small for her fat ass, she would have to if she really wanted me back. I flew around to the other side of the castle, to where I knew Rarity’s tower was. I went right into the open window and perched on it, peering inside.

She was at one of the mannequins. I stepped in and moved over to her as silently as possible. While her back was still turned, I dropped the crown on her head. “Navarone, what did you just put on me?”

“Promise me you won’t freak out.”

“Oh Celestia, tell me it’s not something icky!” Did she really just say that?

“No, it’s nothing gross. Just… promise me you won’t freak out.”

“I won’t, Navarone. I am a lady, after all.”

I walked over to a table and picked up a hand mirror and brought it back to her. She grabbed it with magic. “Nav… What. Is. That.”

“Celestia’s crown.”

She screamed.

“You’re freaking out, Rarity! You told me you wouldn’t freak out!”

“Oh Celestia… Oh Celestia… Get it off!” I reached out and plucked it off her head.

“Hey, do you know where your sister is?”

She was starting to hyperventilate.

“It’s just a simple question, Rarity, jeez.” She still couldn’t answer. “Fine. I’ll ask Applejack, then. I’ll be back in a few hours to talk about my armor.” I walked back over to the window, still holding the crown.

I had one foot up before she said, “Nav, wait!” And with that I was out, flying toward the door to the kitchens. It didn’t take me long to get there and I waltzed right in like I owned the place. I considered putting the crown on and pretending I did own it, but Celestia was already probably pissed and treason might push her a bit too far.

I saw Applejack in the center of a hubbub of activity. I pushed through the group, trying to conceal the crown as much as I could. I got up to her and said, “Hey AJ, do you know where Applebloom is?”

She didn’t look back, just continued stirring something. “I think she said they were going to the big maze thingy. They wanted to go in when they came here for a field trip a few years back but they were in a bit of a hurry. Why?” She finally turned around.

“Celestia wants to see them for a moment. Hey, what’s wrong?”

She was staring at the thing in my hands. “Nav, Imma ask you this once: Is that the princess’s crown?”

“Yeah. Why?”

Her mouth dropped open. I waited for a moment but she didn’t say anything. I shrugged and started leaving. I got to the door leading outside when Rarity burst in another door that leads to the palace. I pushed the door open as Rarity and Applejack both said, “Nav, wait!” I was out the door and into the air.

I’m having way too much fun with this. I flew over to the massive maze that seems to appear only when you’re looking for it. On the way, I ran into Rainbow Dash. “Hey Nav! I don’t see you up here that much. Where you headed?”

“The maze. Hey RD, you’re arrogant and egotistic, right?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m under the influence of some kind of mind-fuckery right now and I really can’t find any fucks to give. Do you know anyone here with a camera?”

“Pinkie always has something like that lying around. Why?”

“I have an idea for the most kickass picture ever. Where’s Pinkie?”

Rainbow Dash pointed straight down at a pretty large stage. “Somewhere down there.”

“Convenient. Come on.” We started going down.

It didn’t take us long to find Pinkie. Thankfully, Rainbow Dash never asked what it was we were doing and she never noticed that there was a crown in my hand.

“Oh, hey N—” She broke off with a massive intake of air that took me a second to realize was a gasp. “WHEREDIDYOUGETPRINCESSCELESTIA’SCROWN!”

“From her head, duh. You got a camera?”

Rainbow Dash stared at me, her mouth gaping. Pinkie reached behind her and pulled a camera from… somewhere. I reached over to Rainbow Dash and plopped the crown on her head. Unfortunately, it was made for the head of a unicorn—a much larger unicorn—and it sort of sank down on Rainbow’s head.

“Now strike a pose, Dashie!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, holding up the camera.

“Navarone, I’m all for pranks, but this… This is probably illegal! We could get in trouble for this!”

“Remember that mind-fuckery I mentioned earlier? I find myself wanting to care about this, but I just can’t right now; I’m having too much fun. Now come on before we get caught.”

Pinkie Pie’s camera flashed and she giggled. “It’s too late to go back now, Dashie. Now let’s make it worth it!”

“Oh Celestia, I can’t believe I’m doing this…” Rainbow Dash muttered. With that said, she struck a very victorious pose. A few minutes later, Pinkie ran out of film. Rainbow Dash was much more into it, now. “None of those pictures ever get out, Pinkie,” she warned, still wearing the crown. “If anypony ever finds out about this, we’re all going straight to the dungeons.”

“Don’t worry about it!” Pinkie said. “I’ll just show a few friends! What’s the worst that could happen?”

Rainbow Dash was about to retort when we all heard galloping. We looked up and saw Applejack, Twilight, and Rarity running for us.

I snatched the crown. “Gotta jet. Good luck.” I jumped into the air.

I heard Pinkie behind me saying, “Hey girls, want to see some pictures?”

Twilight screamed, “YOU COME BACK HERE NAVARONE!” I was already too far away for either her or Rarity to get me. I am so going to pony hell for this.

I went straight to the maze, this time. I flew over it and saw the girls somewhere in the middle. I landed in it, right next to them.

“Hey Nav. Whatcha doin’?” Applebloom asked.

I waved the hand that didn’t have the crown. “Oh, you know. Running from royal guards and Twilight. Hey, you girls want to do me a favor?”

“What do you need?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Drop this off in the royal throne room,” I said, dropping the crown on Sweetie Belle’s head.

Scootaloo and Applebloom gasped. Sweetie Belle looked up, trying to figure out what was on her head. “What is it?” she asked.

“Celestia’s crown. She let me borrow it for a few minutes, but I need to return it now. The thing is, I’m kind of busy. Can you girls drop it off for me?”

“We would…” Scootaloo started.

“But we’re lost,” Applebloom finished.

“I’m wearing the princess’s crown?” Sweetie Belle asked, her brain trying to come up with a rational response.

“Well it’s certainly not Chrysalis’s. She would kill me if I snatched hers off her head. You uh… You might not want to be seen with that, either. At least not until you get to the throne room. Do you three think you can get it there unseen if I can get you out of the maze?”

“We’re not foals, Nav,” Scootaloo said. “How hard could it be to sneak a crown in?”

“Yeah, sneaking it out would be the hard part!” Applebloom said. “It’s a good thing she let you borrow it, or I bet you never would have gotten away!”

“Yeah, she sure is a saint. Now, let me help you out of this place.” I jumped into the air and flew myself to the top. I looked around a bit and landed and gave them directions. “It should take you about ten minutes to get out. Make sure Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack don’t see you with that crown.”

“Thanks, Nav!” they all said, trotting off. I settled down into the maze. The girls would get out in about ten minutes and then they would probably run into Twilight, and they would tell her I was still in the maze. Rarity and Applejack would enter the maze and Twilight would wait for me to fly out. If she was smart, she would stand at a corner so she could maximize the amount of area she could watch so I couldn’t sneak out as easily. I would hopefully get lucky and sneak out on the side she wasn’t watching and then get far enough away that I could sneak to my room with no trouble.

The plan was going well until about ten minutes passed and the girls got out of the maze. Then Twilight came flying in on butterfly wings. Welp, she got me there. I ducked into the bushes, hoping she wouldn’t see me.

Of course she fucking saw me. She landed right in front of me. “Ahem.

I peeled myself out of the bushes and batted my eyes. “Yes, Twilight?”

“You have something very important to my mentor.”

“You know, this spot is very secluded. Private. One could even call it… romantic.” I gently reached a finger out and stroked her jawline. Her eyes went wide. “We’ve lived together so long, been through so much… Wouldn’t you say we’ve gotten close?” I was bringing my head down a bit now and moved my hand under her chin, bracing her head up. “I’ve always been attracted to brains more than anything else.” Our heads were close, now. Her eyes were gently closed.

Which made it so much easier to run away and jump into the air. I was out of the maze before I heard a very frustrated scream following me. Twilight had very little practice flying, so it was nothing to get away from her, especially on her flimsy wings. It didn’t take too long to get back to my room, and I just flew into the window. Taya was there waiting for me.

“Sorry for abandoning you, but I didn’t think I was actually going to get very far,” I said.

“S’okay. Celestia’s reaction was worth it. So was Twilight’s.”

“Were they that mad?”

“Twilight was furious. Celestia was smiling, but she didn’t waste any time telling Twilight to track you down.”

“Well, Twilight failed. Pretty badly. I escaped her twice and passed the crown off to someone else while I was at it. Whatever Chrysalis did to my brain was both fucked up and yet also awesome. Do you think you can be cute enough to protect me on the way to Rarity’s workshop?”

“I’ve been practicing.”

“Awesome.” I reached over to the drawer and grabbed the medal and the scale and slid them in pockets. “Let’s go.” I opened the door and let Taya out first. I followed her and closed it behind me.

That’s when I heard something down the hall a ways. I looked that way and saw Cadance standing outside Chrysalis’s door. “I just want to talk to her!” I heard some muffles. “Luna is in bed, Celestia is busy, and I don’t know where Nav is.” More muffles. “How should I know? He’s not in his room.” Something. “When I asked her, she said something about the thrill of the hunt. I don’t know what that meant, but it sounded ominous, so I just came here.” What was that? More muffles? “Just open the door!”

There was a final single muffle and Cadance sighed deeply and gently let her head hit the door. I turned the other way and started tip-toeing away.

Unfortunately, ponies can’t walk silently for shit. As soon as Taya started following me, Cadance said, “Hey, wait up Nav!” Fuck. Time to run from another princess? You got i—Oh hey, it’s Twi—OH SHIT!

I turned and started running to Cadance. “Heyhow’sitgoingletmegetthatforyou.” Before she could respond, Taya, Cadance, and I were all in Chrysalis’s room, being stared at by a very confused Doppel. I had the door closed and locked before anyone could say anything. “Don’t open that door, Doppel. Sup, Chrysalis?” I asked, nodding.

She looked at me strangely before turning her gaze back to Cadance. “Hello, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.”

We all heard a banging at the door. “YOU COME OUT HERE RIGHT NOW NAVARONE!”

I turned to Doppel. “I will let you sample two of any of my memories you want if you pretend to be me right now and go out there.”

Doppel turned to the door. We heard a much louder bang. Doppel turned back to me. “No deal.”

“Any three?”

She looked back at the door to see it turning red hot. Apparently Celestia or Luna or someone put a lot of resistances into the door or something. She turned back to me. “There is nothing you could ever do that would make me go out there as you right now.”

“…Fuck.” The door was turning white. The hinges were starting to smoke. “Anyway,” I said turning back to Cadance and Chrysalis. “Cadance, this is Queen Chrysalis. Chrysalis, this is Cadance. I believe you’ve met, but I think it was under less than ideal circumstances.”

Cadance was staring at the door. “Nav, just what did you do?”

“I stole Celestia’s crown, paraded it around the palace, let Rainbow Dash take pictures with it, gave it to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, seduced Twilight, and got away. Now, back to the task at hand.” Chrysalis was actually cracking up at that. Wow, her giggle was adorable. “You two need to make peace.”

“She tried to kill me, brainwash Shining Armor, and doom all of Equestria.”

“Well, she also tried to kill me and yet I managed to forgive her.”

“She didn’t try to brainwash your fiancé, though.”

“No, but she pretended to be my sister.”

“Yes, and you punched me in the face for it,” Chrysalis said.

“Well, yeah. Hey Cadance, if you can punch Chrysalis in the face, will you forgive her?”

Cadance and Chrysalis both looked at me like I was an idiot.

“Sorry, sorry. Chrysalis, whatever you did to my mind upset the balance in there or something and it’s causing me to go haywire. I’ve been doing crazy shit all day.”

Chrysalis looked back to the door. “I can see.” I looked back too and saw that the stone around the door was starting to melt. I turned back to them. “Mi Amore Cadenza, for what it is worth, I do apologize. I was just trying to do what is best for my people.” Well, not just trying to do that, but I don’t think Cadance would be expecting her to lie.

“And you couldn’t do that by requesting aid?”

Taya spoke up, “She did, nine hundred years ago. Twilight found it in the records.” Cadance jerked back. “Celestia was distraught when she learned; apparently she doesn’t remember much from back then.”

Chrysalis gave a victorious smile. Cadance said, “I… see.”

“Before we go any farther,” Chrysalis said, “Please, all of you, sit. I may be a queen, but here I believe we are all equals.” Nice touch. Cadance moved hesitantly to the other couch. I moved to the arm chair and Taya sat across my lap. Chrysalis turned herself to face Cadance more easily.

“I have an important question,” I said. I pointed to Chrysalis. “If you can look like that, why would you look like that?” I asked, moving my finger to Cadance.

Another blush from Chrysalis and Cadance just gaped. Taya kicked me.

“Wait, shit. Sorry, ignore that; just my brain kicking off my filter again. Please, continue.” My eyes flicked to the door and I saw that the hinges were just small puddles on the floor. Doppel was watching it with fear in her eyes. Whoever made the door deserves one hell of a raise.

Chrysalis and Cadance were talking, but I wasn’t really paying attention. As long as they didn’t come to blows, I was hoping Chrysalis would be smart enough to say the right things. I was just gently petting Taya and hoping to high heaven that the door held.

After nearly five minutes, I was awoken from my reverie by laughter. I saw that Chrysalis was actually giggling, which made me smile; it really was adorable, as I said. Cadance was smiling. She said, “I don’t know if I will ever like you, but I do forgive you, Chrysalis. I understand that sometimes hard decisions have to be made for the sake of your people. I’m sure choosing to attack Equestria was a decision made out of desperation, as Nav said.”

“I… appreciate it, Mi Amore Cadenza. I do not wish to return to my changelings with angry ponies behind me.”

Cadance opened her mouth to respond, but the door suddenly started hissing, like a giant block of ice was hitting it. We watched it, unable to continue any manner of conversation with that noise. After about a minute, the hissing stopped and there was a gentle knocking and Celestia’s voice rang out, “Hello?”

Doppel went to answer it. I whispered to Taya, “Get ready to be very cute very fast.” She nodded.

The door opened and in walked Celestia. She had her crown back, at least. “I believe we have a solution for your famine,” Celestia said, looking at Chrysalis.

Chrysalis stood so she could face her. “I am listening,” she answered.

“Girls, if you would?” Celestia asked, turning slightly. The Cutie Mark Crusaders walked in, pushing a trolley with a teapot and two tea cups. Twilight followed them in, glaring daggers at me. “Navarone, Twilight, would you please come forward?”

We both looked at her, both alarmed. If she made me drink that shit, I would get sick. If she made Twilight drink that shit and look at me I would probably never get away. Taya hopped down and I stood, slowly walking toward the trolley. Twilight stepped forward as well. With a glow of Celestia’s horn, the teapot gently lifted and some purple bubbly liquid streamed out and into the two cups.

“Drink, both of you.”

“But Princ—” “I’m immu—”


We both sighed. I looked down at the little teacup and picked it up. I stuck out my pinky finger and tossed it back. Twilight used magic to do the same, but without the pinky finger. Some people just lack sophistication.

As expected, my body rejected it out of hand. I was on the floor, coughing my lungs out. Twilight and Taya were instantly at my side.

I heard Celestia say between coughs, “Hmm. I wasn’t expecting that.” If I had been able to breathe or talk, I would have asked what she did expect to happen, but as it was, all of the air was being forced out of my lungs as my insides rearranged themselves. Finally, my body kicked the poison out in a black stream of raw hate. When it was safely back in the cup, I pushed myself up to my knees.

“Fuck love poison,” I rasped.

Twilight nuzzled me. “Are you okay, schmoopy?”

“Not again!” the girls—excluding Taya—groaned.

I ran my hand through Twilight’s mane. “Yes, dear. Just a bad reaction.” I pulled her in for a quick kiss that left her blushing. “I need to go and get something in my room right down the hall. You don’t mind waiting here and entertaining our guests, do you?”

She looked alarmed at me going away, but I pulled her in for another, longer kiss. “I’ll be just a minute, I promise.”

“Of course, pumpkin,” she sighed breathlessly. Celestia was starting to giggle. Chrysalis was rolling her eyes. Cadance was gaping.

I stood. “Taya, come along.” Taya followed me out.

“Doppel,” Celestia said, “Your queen requires a book. Go fetch it for her.”

Doppel gave a quick salute and joined me as I exited the door. I felt Twilight’s eyes on me the entire way. I let Doppel leave first and blew a kiss at Twilight when I realized that her eyes held a smoldering fire when she saw Doppel leaving with me. Twilight quickly returned to a dopey state and just waved until the door clicked shut.

I turned and saw Doppel and Taya grinning madly. “You’re good at this,” Doppel said.

I shrugged and jerked my head down the hall. They followed me to my room. “Can you walk on two legs?” I asked Doppel when we got there.

“I can, but I can’t make clothes like the queen can.” She smiled viciously. “Strip down, lover colt.”

I looked at her. She smiled back. I walked over to a drawer and pulled out a set of clothes for her. She looked at them and sighed. That done, she turned into me, complete with clothes and weapons. She walked out.

“Taya, go with her. I’ll be here, waiting for you.” She didn’t move. “Bacon.” She sighed and trotted off.

Not long after she left, Cadance and the Cutie Mark Crusaders came by wheeling the trolley. “How’s it going in there?” I asked.

They all grimaced. The girls made disgusted sounds. “It’s all lovey dovey and gross,” Sweetie Belle said.

Cadance said with much distaste, “The changeling is able to feed, but apparently the flavor isn’t quite right.”

“Oh, that’s just Doppel. She prefers lust rather than love, so love will taste a bit strange to her.”

Cadance clicked her mouth shut and grinded her teeth. After a moment, she forced out, “And how would you know that?”

I gave her a filthy grin. “I fed her last night.” She glared at me. I just smiled back.

“What’s… lust?” Applebloom asked.

Cadance shook herself. “Don’t worry about it, girls. Come on, let’s go to the garden. I’m sure we can find a fun game to play.”

“Just leave the trolley here,” I told them. They all ran off after Cadance.

Well, I have now angered two of the most powerful people on the planet today. Three, actually, if Twilight has as much magic as she thinks. All I need to do now is find a way to piss Luna off and I’ll be doing good.

I walked over to the desk and looked at the papers I had set up there. I poked through the unfinished ones, trying to remember more details. After a few minutes, I heard clawed feet walking in.

“Sup, Spike?” I asked without turning.

“Not much. Hey, have you been doing much thinking about the party?” I turned to face him, then.

“Sadly, no. My mind has been consumed recently.” Literally. “I’ve had a bit of a busy day.”

“Oh. Do you know where Twilight is, then?”

“Next door, with Celestia and the queen. I don’t think she’ll be happy to see you, though.”

“Why not? I just finished researching something she asked me to help her with.”

“Well, she’s currently infected with a love poison and fawning over either Doppel or Chrysalis.”

He shot straight up. “Then why are we in here? Come on, Nav, this is gonna be hilarious!”

“Because she is in love with me right now. If I go over there, she might explode or something.”

His eyes widened and he bolted down the hall, chuckling. I spun around in my chair and started looking through the pages again. I could probably finish this one. Maybe tonight. I looked up when I heard a terrible wrenching sound. “Huh.” I turned back to the pages. I heard an explosion and I was on my feet and into the hall. I looked out and saw Twilight, who turned her eyes on me with such an expression of joy that I didn’t know what to do. She used her wings to propel herself at me.

I smiled and open my arms for her. She tackled me and down we went.

Onto my wings.

A terrifying crack shot through the halls and I felt tears pool in my eyes. Twilight instantly healed me, which shouldn’t have been possible; in order to heal bones, you have to set them first. Or else be Celestia-level strong. I think that love poison might have given Twilight a bit of extra power. Normally my wings wouldn’t even break from that, but I think Twilight was also given an upgrade in strength or something; she slammed me into the ground like a sledgehammer.

She covered my face in kisses.

There are a lot of people that would say I deserve this. I heard the sound of Celestia’s horse shoes striking the ground on their way up to us. Taya and Spike strode alongside her.

Celestia stopped next to us, looking down on us. I was currently Frenching Twilight, so I couldn’t exactly say anything.

“There are a lot of ponies that would say you deserve this,” Celestia commented. I groaned and Twilight mistook it for a moan and somehow managed to tighten herself over me. Where did Twilight even learn how to do this? “However, I am not as sadistic as you seem to think I am. I still need to punish you for what you did to my crown. I will give you two choices: Stay here for one hour, with Twilight in her state, or dance with Pinkie at the reception. The music there will be newer stuff, I believe.”

Oh, you sadistic bitch. I reached down and squeezed Twilight’s cutie mark in response, eliciting another moan from her. Spike gagged.

Celestia shrugged. “I gave you the choice. Spike, Taya, come along. Let us leave the lovebirds to their activities.” They walked off, Taya giving several backwards glances. Honestly, it seemed more like punishment to Twilight than anything else. I mean, her mind got fucked with by a potion and now she’s forced to live a lie for an hour without even realizing it.

After a moment, I tapped her side. She pulled up, letting me get some air. Where can we go for an hour where no one can see us but she can’t do anything to me? She was smiling at me with a dopey expression again.

“Honey, would you mind getting off me?”

“Of course, my special somepony.” She eased off me. I sat up, shaking my wings. They were fine. She looked at them. “You know, I read something once about pegasus wings. About how they’re… really sensitive.” Her horn glowed and I felt some kind of vice grip tighten over my wings, slowly squeezing them.

It felt nearly orgasmic, even with my reduced senses. I smiled, a flush coming to my face. “Please, dear. You don’t need to do that to show me you care.”

Her smile turned sly. “I remember you saying all that time ago that you didn’t like being touched… But magic doesn’t require touch.” She picked me up with a purple aura and gave me bedroom eyes as she floated me to my room.

Well, I found a way to piss Luna off today.


(Sex is coming. Ctrl+f Sex is over to skip)





I knew that this was not going to be an overly enjoyable experience when she clunked my head on the side of the bed as she sat me down. She immediately pulled me back up, cradling me like a baby. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” She pulled me close and kissed the back of my head.

“Twilight, please, we don’t have to do this. We can just go for a walk. Or we can go get ice cream. Or… something other than this.”

“Oh no no no! Now that we’re finally together and we admitted our love for each other, I’m going to make sure you stay mine! So I’m going to pleasure you in the way that only the Element of Magic can…” That last was said in a scarily sultry voice. I don’t know what the fuck the Element of Magic is, but I know Twilight is disturbingly strong.

“I… I don’t think that’s necessary.”

“Oh, but I do! I know all kinds of mares want to take you away. But none of them can give you what I can.” Her horn lit up and I felt my entire body jerk straight, still suspended in the air. My belt undid itself. My shoes untied themselves. All my clothes were slowly pulled off, leaving me defenseless before her half-lidded eyes. “I know allll about you, my love. I’ve studied your body inside and out. I know just where your erogenous zones are. And I know just how to get to them. I’m going to make you mine and you’re going to love every minute.”

This was starting to sound really, really scary. “Twilight, you’re scaring me a bit.”

“No fears now. Only dreams.” What does that even mea—HOLY FUCK!

Something inside me was being stroked as her horn lit up. I felt my eyes roll up as whatever she was doing brought incredible pleasure to me. “This is what we call the prostate, dear,” she calmly said. “When rubbed the right way, it’s… well, I think you know by now.” I had no defense against this. My insides weren’t protected by Celestia’s curse. “Most stallions don’t take long to give into this, when it’s being rubbed. But then, you aren’t most stallions. You’re my stallion.” She pulled my face down to hers and kissed me, able to overpower my tongue and explore my mouth all she wanted. The stroking against me just increased until I felt myself unable to resist any longer.

I came, moaning into her mouth. She continued stroking until I had nothing left to give. She finally pushed me away from her and saw the small puddle on the floor. Magic scooped it up and flew it over to her. She looked me dead in the eye and eagerly slurped it down. Oh God, what has Celestia gotten me into this time? Not even five minutes had gone by and she’d already done more for me than any of my other lovers ever had.

As if reading my mind, her smile returned. “We’re just getting started.” Her horn went brighter and I felt all my energy return. I instantly got hard again. “That’s just a taste of what I can give you, Nav. What do you think?”

“That was… quite enjoyable,” I hesitantly answered. More like terrifying as hell. If she could fine-tune her magic as well as that, what else could she do with it?

Her horn lit up brighter. “Oh my! Lying, even now…” I heard a whistling sound in the air and then felt a switch across the ass. I would have flinched, but I wasn’t able to move. “Don’t lie to me, Nav. Lovers don’t lie.”

“You know I don’t like magic, Twilight. I hate being controlled like this.”

“You don’t like magic… but I am a unicorn. And you love me.” It’s a good thing she didn’t think to use that lie detecting spell to question that. “Please be willing to try what I want to do…” And now she was pleading. Fuck love poison.

I grinned nervously. “Okay, dear. For… for you.”

Her horn glowed brighter and I felt a vice grip on my wings and my member. The one on my wings started circling down, looking for the pleasure centers. The one on my member began convulsing and vibrating, teasing my urethra with gentle taps. I felt a small vibration on my prostate again.

She slowly flew me over to the bed and gently laid me down, making sure to avoid hitting my head. The entire time she was doing that, I was in bliss, trying to fight the feelings. She climbed on top of me and looked into my eyes, loving purple meeting fearful green. “I love you, Navarone,” she whispered. Instead of waiting for an answer, she just kissed me again. She forced her tongue as far into me as she could get it. I was too preoccupied to fight.

The feeling around my wings was finally concentrating to a few nodes, the pleasure epicenters. I don’t know what cruel—or perhaps loving—god put them there, but I want to slap him in the face and then buy him a beer.

I would have wrapped my arms around Twilight, but she was still holding me, completely disallowing me from moving. I couldn’t fight her. I couldn’t help her. All I could do was give in.

So that’s what I did. I focused on the pleasure flowing in. The magic molding itself to my prostate. The pressure slowly growing on my wings. The magic-job she was giving my manhood. I just relaxed and let it happen.

A minute later, I came yet again, my seed shooting up and landing on Twilight’s back in a sticky mass. She pulled away from me, giggling. I saw it flying away, but I have no idea where it ended up. “That’s two,” she whispered, nuzzling me. “This one is a surprise I’ve been working on for a while. Let me know what you think when you can talk again.”

“When I can ta—” My perception of everything broke. I felt raw pleasure dumped into my brain, unimpeded by nerves or flesh. I had no idea what was happening to my body, I just know that whatever she was doing to my brain was ungodly. There was no other sensation than bliss. I couldn’t see. I couldn’t smell. I couldn’t taste. It was unimaginable and horrifying.

I lost all concept of time while I was in that state. When I finally came to, I learned that over half an hour had passed. My bed was nasty. Twilight was wearing a small smile, standing off to the side. Her horn had finally stopped glowing.

“What… did you… do?” I croaked.

“I used magic to send signals of pleasure directly into your brain.” She giggled. “You made quite a mess!” I looked around and saw what she meant. I got off the bed and onto my feet. I didn’t last a second before falling. Twilight’s magic caught me before I hit the ground and she floated me over for another kiss. “Now now now, I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself, now would I, my special somehuman?” She pushed me away a bit. “Now, I want to hear you say it.”

“Say what?”

“That you’re mine. That you finally realized that I’m the best for you. That you want me and only me.” I opened my mouth but she cut me off, “And I’ll know if you lie. I can think of other things to do to make you want only me.”

“I…” My voice caught. I didn’t want to say anything that might cause her to do something else to me. I had no idea Twilight was this fucking crazy. I knew she was bad at times, but this? This was terrifying.

“Yessss?” she whispered, leaning in.

I cast my gaze about the room, looking for anything to help me. My eyes caught a clock hanging on the wall. Oh. Oh my, that’s just perfect. I nodded a random direction. “LOOK OVER THERE, A DISTRACTION!” She blinked and jerked her head away, looking where I nodded. I instantly teleported away, carried by Celestia’s magic to a place that hopefully didn’t have a crazy unicorn.





(Sex is over)


An hour later, I couldn’t help but wonder who was guilty of rape. Me, for being sober but unwilling to risk life and limb to stop Twilight. Twilight, for actually doing the act even though she was drunk on love poison. Or Celestia, for letting it happen—nay, knowing it would happen and that Twilight was drugged and I had no way to stop her.

Fucking Molestia.

Anyway, after the prescribed hour, I was teleported straight to the library in Ponyville. I think I heard a shriek of horror reverberating from the castle, several miles away.

I immediately went downstairs and pulled a book from the shelves and downed half a flask of booze. I sighed, feeling better immediately. My crotch really hurt and my wings were feeling it too. I had an hour until the love poison on Twilight wore off, so I would be here for a little while.

I went to put on a set of clothes and went off to Applejack’s farm. It only took me about fifteen minutes to find the booze since it wasn’t hidden at all. There weren’t many barrels of it left. I grabbed a cart and loaded it full. I would have gotten help, but all of the Apples were apparently at Canterlot; Celestia decided to keep them on there for the week, paying them extra to stay and cook for the castle instead of sending them all back to their homes just so they’d have to come back at the week’s end. I pulled the cart into the train station and was on the first train heading to Canterlot. I was away for well over an hour by the time the train pulled in to Canterlot station.

I hired some day laborers to help me with the barrels. Having shitloads of cash is pretty helpful. I had the barrels left outside the entrance to the kitchens and stepped inside.

I walked back up to Applejack, who was once again stirring something. “Hey AJ, I took that booze from your barn. You want me to pay you now or later?”

“Anytime. I know yer good for it.”

“Well, you don’t exactly have pockets. It can wait. Just make sure no one bothers the barrels outside, alright?”

“Don’t worry about it, Nav; they’ll be fine.”

“Awesome. See you later.” She nodded, still stirring the whatever. I walked back out and flew up to my room.

Thankfully, the bedspread had been changed and the trolley with the poison was no longer there. I could still smell the shame, but I was hoping that was just emanating off me. I stripped down and went to the shower.

When I got out, Taya was back in my room. “Taya, the next time I try to steal the crown, I want you to stop me with magic.”

“Okay. Are you feeling better?”

“Immeasurably. My head feels much clearer, now that I have new sorrow to add to make up for what was lost.”

“Good. Twilight wants to speak to you, I think. And Celestia still wants you to go see Rarity.”

“Rarity first. She’s been waiting longer.” And I really didn’t want to see Twilight. “After her, we might visit Chrysalis again. I assume her door has been replaced?” Taya nodded. “Well then, shall we?”

“Shouldn’t you put some clothes on first?”

I blinked. “Yeah, I probably should.” I was, at least, wearing a towel. I checked the drawer with the normal clothes. It was empty. “Taya, where are my clothes?”

“In your drawer?”

I opened the other ones. They still had liveries in them.

A few minutes later Taya and I were walking to Rarity’s room. I was wearing the clothes from Ponyville. At least whoever stole my clothes left my weapons.

For the first time, I actually had to walk up Rarity’s stairs. It was horrifying. But given that my wings were still kind of sore, I suppose it was better than flying. I knocked on the door and it swung open. Cadance and Rarity were discussing dresses, so I just led Taya to the side of the room and did my best to forget the past few hours.

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