Diaries of a Madman

When Discord breaks free of his stone prison, he proves to be much older and wiser than he was on the show. A being of ancient and unimaginable power, he forces Celestia to make a deal to save her little ponies. What she doesn't realize is that one of the terms of the deal is that she forgets ever making it. Enter Navarone, a poor human just trying to get by—or at least, to the ponies that's what he looks like. Pulled from his home by an accidental summoning from one Twilight Sparkle, Navarone is thrust into a world of ponies and more violence than he expected from such a peaceful seeming world. These are his adventures—with a few asides from everybody's favorite Lord of Chaos, of course.


157. Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-One

The first few petitioners that came to see us were the normal boring things. Some people talking about and asking for permission to fix various things that were breaking down, some that wanted permission to open a state-run brothel, some that wanted funds for an expedition to griffonland for trees, and some that needed to report on some sciencey shit. You know, the normal things. Chrysalis used me as a moral compass, even though I’m pretty broken as well.

Then something of interest caught my ears. “I’m here to report on the ponies you wanted escorted yesterday, your highness,” the changeling said after bowing.

“Stick to the points of interest,” Chrysalis replied.

“We escorted ten ponies in armor and three unicorns without. Most of the unicorns were interested in our magic, so they were taken to the school. Things went well. One of the pegasi wanted to see our alchemists and had a very high interest in poisons. Two of them had interest in our architecture and were shown many of our more impressive structures. One earth pony was interested in our military, but wasn’t overly disappointed when we told him we couldn’t show him our training facilities. Instead, he and another viewed our waterworks systems. Two were interested in the armory and were shown there.”

“Did you run into any issues?” Chrysalis asked.

“No, your majesty. We assumed when the ponies saw our mobile food sources, they would be offended.” His eyes flicked to me for a moment before continuing. “Two groups of armored ponies ran into the pet ponies. One pegasus petted the pony before continuing on their way. The other group had an earth pony that spoke to the food pony by name. Apparently, the guard was the one that arrested the food pony, and was quite pleased to see him paying back his debt.”

“Interesting,” Chrysalis said. “But unimportant. Did they get their fill of exploration, or will they be returning to tour again?”

“Some were interested in more of the city than we had time to show, and would like repeat performances.”

“Granted. Unless something of note occurs, do not keep me updated.”

“Yes, your highness,” he said with a bow, then let himself out.

“It is good to know your soldiers are better behaved than Twilight Sparkle,” Chrysalis said without looking at me.

“She can definitely be a naughty filly. I usually spank her to teach her a lesson. I think she started to like it, though.”

She shook her head. “I’m beginning to wonder if there is anyone you have not slept with. Next!” The doors opened again and another changeling walked in, carrying a bag.

When he got close enough, he did the normal bowing thing before looking back up. “Your majesty, I represent the miners. We were recently commissioned by the ponies, under your authority, to dig out the—”

“I know,” Chrysalis snapped. “Get to the point.”

“The preliminary estimate is three days. After speaking with… some blob of water, we believe three days is all we will need.”

“Is that all you required?”

He lifted the bag. “One of the ponies requested that I give this to Sir Navarone. It contains some of his belongings.”

Chrysalis floated it over to me. “Inform me immediately when the tunnel is finished. You are dismissed.”

He bowed and walked out, but I was still checking the bag. A quick look showed me it contained clothes, so I closed it back and sat it down. As soon as he got out, I said, “You really shouldn’t snap at people, Chrysalis. It’s kinda rude.”

“Noted, though I dislike having my time wasted. Next!”

In walked another changeling, who blinked when he saw me. He didn’t stop his walk, though, and properly bowed. “Your majesty, I am with the team that was tasked with obtaining copper. We succeeded, with help from Sir Navarone.”

“What was the issue, again?” Chrysalis asked.

“Fungus spores, my queen. They were disabling our drones. They did not affect Sir Navarone and he was able to do… something. I’m not sure what he did.”

Chrysalis turned her head to me. “What did you do?”

“Man, I have no fucking clue. There was some kind of weird-ass mushroom lady living at the center of the copse. She thought I was some kind of weird-ass tree lady and treated me like a sister. I got her to leave.”

“...There are some very strange things in this world.”

“I know, right?”

Chrysalis shook her head and turned back to the scientist. “If the copse is safe, preserve as much of it as you can. I would hate for this… mushroom to return and cause trouble. Send the ore to the refineries. Dismissed.” He bowed and departed. When he was gone, Chrysalis looked back to me. “When did you help him?”

“Yesterday, after I spoke to the miner guys.”

“Your assistance was appreciated, though I highly doubt a mushroom would give us much trouble.” She looked back to the front. “Next!”

Once the two of us finished our lunch break, Chrysalis took me to fly over the hive. “It’s surprising how few people there are down there,” I idly commented as we flew. The roads were almost empty and there were only a few fliers around.

“Most changelings work,” she said with a shrug. “Is it different in Equestria?”

“...Sort of. I guess it depends on where you go. Ponyville is largely agrarian, so you see a lot of people out and about during the day, doing chores for their farms and other jobs. Canterlot is obscenely rich, so a lot of people there don’t have to work and can do whatever they want. The other pony cities I went to had fewer people out, not that I really payed much attention.”

“All the changelings work, here. That is part of the reason I decided to use mobile food distribution. There is always something damaged that needs to be fixed, something new to be made, or items to move, so all drones stay busy. The few that have time off rarely wander far from their barracks.”

“Hm. Where I come from, most places have five work days and two off days. All non-essential jobs are off the same two days in a row. It’s considered the time of rest and lets people make friends or grow closer. Essential jobs usually have shifts, so someone is constantly on duty and no one gets too run down doing it.”

“There is wisdom in that. If my hive had more options for entertainment, I would consider using the two days off idea. As it is, I do not want the few available entertaining locations to be swamped.”

I shrugged. “Makes sense. So where we goin’?”

“One of the few places where there are few workers. Consider it a surprise.”

“...To me, surprises are usually ambushes or Doppel deciding to be a guy.”

She smirked. “Well, this surprise won’t physically hurt you, though I don’t think you will enjoy it as much as you’d enjoy Doppel…”

“She liked doing it back when I still had a penis.”

“Somehow, I doubt you complained much.” She started to descend. “Well, unless she tried sticking it in you.”

“I don’t particularly mind giving a blowie. I just really don’t want it in my exit hole. But that was never an issue, once I made myself clear.”

She landed right in front of a relatively small building and turned to look at me. “Changelings are remarkably obedient to the one who obtains their loyalty. I somewhat wonder what you did to destroy her bond with the hive. No amount of sex alone could pervert her so.”

I snorted. “It did plenty to make her perverted.” She rolled her eyes. “I have this bad habit of treating servants like real people. For some reason, pretending they have feelings makes them happy.”

“Whatever you did, she stopped reporting the truth less than a month after I gave her to you. I debated having her resocialized whenever she came back to the hive, but ultimately decided against it. What’s one slutty spy?”

“I would have been quite displeased to discover you were abusing my maid. That’s my job.”

She shook her head and walked into the building. I followed, of course. It was yet another dark building with hallways leading away from the main entrance. All the doors were closed every way I looked. Chrysalis picked a direction and started walking. I didn’t bother reading the directory.

After passing several nondescript doors, she stopped in front of one and pushed it open. The occupant within looked surprised for an instant before buzzing right past Chrysalis and tackling me. Thankfully, changelings are fairly light and this one apparently just wanted to hug me. Creepily enough, his tail starting wagging as soon as he latched onto me.

“I see you remember your savior,” Chrysalis happily said. “Navarone, this is one of the changelings you pulled out of the ocean.”

“I kinda figured,” I said, rubbing the changeling’s back.

“I knew you’d come back,” he whispered.

“What do you mean, come back?” I asked. “I sent you guys home. You’re the ones that left.”

He looked up, still holding onto me. “I knew you’d come back for me. Wouldn’t leave me in the dark…”

What? “The hive is pretty dark, dude. Did you somehow forget that?”

Chrysalis used magic to tug him away from me. As soon as he pulled back, his legs started flailing to try to get to me again. “He is… not quite right in the head,” she said.

“I’m fine!” he yelled as he continued to struggle. “I just… I need…”

“What you need is time,” I said, grabbing one of his hooves with my hand. He immediately calmed down. “And to not be locked up,” I added, looking at Chrysalis.

“None of the patients here are locked in,” she replied. “Any of them can walk through the city as they like, though they must be accompanied by a guard to ensure nothing happens. There are many that choose not to leave.”

I looked back at the changeling. “Dude, go for a walk.”

He shook his head and somehow strengthened his grip on my head. “I don’t need a walk. I just need you.”

“I… don’t think you need me,” I slowly said as I tried to pull my hand back.

He refused to let go and just stared right in my eyes with a disturbing intensity. “Your eyes could swallow all the light in the world. Steal all the breath from everyone. Make the strongest changeling fall for you instantly. What hope did I ever have?”

That… shocked me. Chrysalis’s horn lit up brighter and removed his hoof from my hand and then pushed him into his room. I held up a hand as she started to close the door, stopping her. “There is no life in my eyes, changeling. No hope in my mind, no love in my heart. I’m emptier than the darkest night. I brought you from the depths, but don’t look to me for salvation. Don’t look to me for love. All I bring is pain and suffering.”

“You brought me life,” he quietly said.

“A life of wallowing in the dark, hiding from your pain and relying on someone else to give you purpose.”

You are my purpose!”

“Then consider yourself free from it.” Chrysalis slammed the door shut. It was heavy and stone, so I turned to her and asked, “Why did you bring me here?”

“He’s been mopey and begging to see you. I was hoping you would either kill him, bring him to his senses, or take him with you.” She started walking back to the entrance.

“And you didn’t think warning me might be a good idea?”

“I thought it would lessen your reaction if you knew the situation.”

“Tch. It’s been a long time since someone told me my eyes were beautiful. That woulda shocked me no matter what you said.” She walked right past the exit. “...Where else are we going?”

“To see the other one. He is more sane, but might be disappointed if you don’t visit.”

“Ah. So what kind of help are you giving these guys? Horseland doesn’t have any psychiatrists.”

“I’m giving them time off,” she said with a shrug. “What more do they need?”

“...Someone to talk to?”

“They can talk to anyone they want to. Each other. Guards. Passersby. Me, if they can get an appointment.”

“How often do changelings commit suicide?”

She stopped in front of a door and turned to stare at me. I just stared right back. After half a minute, she turned to the door and pushed it open. The occupant flinched at the small change in light, then jumped up to bow. “Your highness. And Lady Navarone! It is an honor.”

I snorted. “I didn’t figure you’d train them to bow to me, Chrysalis.”

She slapped me with a wing and said, “Rise, subject. Your savior was in the city and I decided to bring… her to visit.”

“Thank you, my queen. Lady Navarone, what brings you to the hive? Do you need any assistance?”

“Stop calling me lady. And my needs are being taken care of.”

“I’m happy to hear that. If you need a spy or sailor or just another pair of hooves for anything, by all means, let me know. Oh, and as much as I hate to do this to him, I advise against going to see… the other one.”

“...That woulda been good to know five minutes ago, before I saw the other one.”

He winced slightly. “He didn’t hurt you, did he? Or… touch you?”

“He was all kinds of huggy and thought he loved me. He even said something about my eyes.”

The poor changeling sighed and shook his head. “I told you that he wasn’t quite right… Did you let him down gently, at least?”

“Psh, hell no. That shit’s hella creepy, dude. I don’t want no goddamn cracked freaky bug thing lusting after my lady parts.” He winced again, looking down. “No offense, of course. He was obsessed. I told him to chill the fuck out because don’t no one want to deal with that shit.” Chrysalis was giving me the strangest fucking look, for some reason. “I mean, how would you feel if some creepy fucker said you were his life’s purpose and that he was swallowed up by your eyes? That he needs you? I’ve been raped for less.”

His head shot up. “Neither of us would ever touch you, not like that. Not if you didn’t want it. We both… know what that’s like. You saved us, ma’am. We’re more grateful than you can ever know. But he was… down there for a long time. Long enough to become… addicted, a little. It only makes sense to me that he’d become just as addicted to whatever saved him. Especially if it was a really cute female.”

“Yeah, well, the joke’s on you two fuckers. The only thing cute about me is the fact I’m so short, and I’d kick a fucker right between the legs if he decided to comment on it. I saved both of y’all ‘cuz it was the right thing to do, not because I wanted two more goddamn changelings following me around. I reckon you might should oughta drill that through your buddy’s head.”

“...I was hoping he would realize it himself. But there isn’t much for us to do except sit here and think. If all he’s thinking about is how much he wants you, I suppose it’s unlikely for him to realize how insane it sounds.”

“You need to get that fucker outside, dude.”

He sighed and nodded. “Yes ma’am, I do. I suppose I’ll try to walk with him at least once a day now. But there are so few guards that ever stop by, so it’s hard to get permission to leave.”

I slowly turned to look at Chrysalis. She steadfastly ignored me. My head panned back to the other guy. “That’s gonna change. If there’s anything you guys need that might help you get better, let me know right now. I’ll see what I can do.”

“...Somebody to talk to would be nice. Usually, it’s just me, him, and a guard. No other changelings ever made time to talk with us. At least, not much…”

Once again, I slowly turned to look at Chrysalis. She was rubbing one of her front hooves against her carapace, pretending to ignore me. I turned back to the guy. “I’ll see what I can do. Anything else?”

“No, my la—ma’am.”

“I have a name, dude. I’m not some foppish noble or arrogant prick. Hell, I’m only technically a woman. The only reason I have a vagina instead of a dick is because I pissed off the wrong person. So chill. And tell your friend to stop obsessing over me, because it’s kinda gay. Especially that weird shit he said about my eyes.”

“I… What? Only technically… but…”

“Yeah, I probably should have mentioned that. Oh well. If you don’t need anything else, I’m leaving.”

He quickly shook his head. “No, my la—ma—Sir! No sir! I don’t… I don’t want to bother you…”

“Alright. I’ll see what I can do for you and your friend. Don’t no one deserve to go through this shit, especially not and be stuck with themselves. You have Chrysalis’s word that things will get better.” Of course, the named queen flinched, but she didn’t contradict me.

The little changeling stared at his queen for a moment before turning back to me and nodding. “Thank you. Even seeing you again was nice.”

“Happy to help, I guess. You should go talk to your friend. He might be a little distraught right now.”

He nodded yet again. “I’ll do it right away.” He followed us as far as the exit, then continued walking down the hall to his friend’s place while we walked out.

As soon as the front door closed behind us, I turned to Chrysalis. She beat me to talking, though. “I don’t appreciate using my word for anything without my permission, Nav.”

“I didn’t figure you would. Those guys need help, Chrysalis. All people that go through trauma do. If there ain’t enough guards in your crimeless city to take care of them, ya need to remove the guard restriction entirely. I ain’t gonna say you should straight up assign them friends or whatever, but making sure they get someone to talk to would be good.”

“I can’t believe I’ve never heard your accent before… It’s so…”


Adorable!” I blinked in surprise. “Keep talking! I want to hear more of it.”

After taking a second to compose myself, I spoke again without the accent. “It’s a holdover from where I was born.” She actually pouted. “It usually only comes out when I’m annoyed, pissed, or really tired. Don’t you have changelings that can use any accents? If you’re really desperate to hear it, get them to do one for you.”

She smirked and shook her head. “It’s not the accent in particular, it’s that you have a southern accent!”

“Weirdo. None of that changes my point. Those two need to be able to get out and they need someone to talk to. Taking care of your sick and downtrodden are very nice and important things to do. So take care of it.”

The smile slipped off her face. “I will see what I can do. Generally, I don’t consider the life of one individual changeling worth very much. Healing those that are merely mentally and emotionally disturbed seems like a waste of resources.”

“But it’s the right thing to do. Stop thinking of your subjects as resources. Think of them as people.”

She looked away. “There was a time when I did.”

“And now that you aren’t so desperate, you can start doing it again. Maybe not the drones, but you should consider them that way anyway. Life is replaceable. People are not.”

“It… hurts. You know our history. You know… some of what I’ve done.”

“And you won’t get better unless you become more than what you were. Shit happened. You’re past it now. If you want to be Moonbeam again,” she flinched, of course, “you need to let go of Chrysalis.”

She finally looked back to me. “The past is not so easily forgotten.”

“You don’t have to forget it. Just don’t let it own you. If you want to change, do what you think is right, not what you think is smart. If a changeling dies, you already make sure the body is treated right. And if a changeling is injured, you should make sure it can get better. But emotional or mental wounds are deeper and more hidden than physical wounds. It doesn’t seem like many people here in this crazy horse world know how to treat them. Give them some people to talk to and let them leave the building whenever they want. Station guards here to go with them, if you’re paranoid.”

“...Alright, Nav. I’ll take care of it when we return to the palace. Our next stop is back to the military training area. Ditto has made a few changes based on the recommendations you gave him. I would very much like to have you in disguise when we go there, though. My changelings are… not intelligent. I want you to see everything they’re doing without speaking or being asked to comment, so you can get more of a full picture. I also don’t want to risk them acting any differently.”

“What kind of disguise did you have any mind? I’m kinda recognizable. I mean, I’ve pretended to be a cat before, but…”

She looked away and rubbed at the back of her neck for a moment before shrugging and looking back. “I want to turn you into a pony or a changeling.” My wings twitched. “If you choose pony, I will put a leash on you and pretend you are my personal food pony. I will not feed on you and will instruct my subjects to leave you be. I have my worries about making you a changeling, but I don’t think it would be too much of an issue. I will just treat you as an aide, in that case.”

I mulled it over in my head for a few seconds before asking, “If I turn into a changeling, can I change into a male?”

“Of course… if you can figure out how to change. I will let you stay in that body as long as you’d like, though from what I have learned, I will likely require several hours to change you back.”

“Then let’s do that. But I’m going to fuck you or someone else before I let you turn me back into a human.”

“Of course. But you are free to stay as a changeling, you know. You can change into your own normal body, or anything else you’d desire.”

“You fed on Shining Armor for three days and he was nearing the breaking point. How long would it take for me to drain Taya? I couldn’t survive as a changeling.”

“There are… other emotions you could take. Lust, for example.”

“From what I’ve seen, taking different emotions as a changeling seems to… change you. Anger makes you go mad. Lust seems to turn you into even more of a slut, which I don’t need. Love doesn’t seem to do anything to your mind. I’m not going to risk it. I’d rather keep my freaky tree stamina.”

 “So be it. Would you like me to turn you now, or do you want to return to the palace first?”

“Palace. It’ll take me a few minutes to get used to the body and learn to change shapes. Better to do it in privacy.”

She nodded. “Then shall we?” We both spread our wings and took off. “It has been some time since you ate. I will have one of the palace ponies on standby should you need it. Eating love is… different from eating normal food. I will teach you to do it first.”

“Alright. I should be able to figure it out easily. I was able to do some basic magic when I got body swapped with a unicorn.”

“...There’s a body swap spell?”

“Yep. I never want to be Taya again. It felt way too weird. I also don’t want to be Rarity again, because I almost got raped and she did get raped. I had to murder someone in her body and then explain to Celestia just who it was she had sex with.”

She actually started giggling so hard that she fell several meters before she got back in control. “I’ll have to… ask Celestia how that went,” she said, still fighting giggles.

“Coincidentally, that’s also how one of the ‘elements of harmony’ found your changeling in Detroit. That was me in Rarity’s body.”

“That makes much more sense,” she said. “I suppose I should tell him who he should really be sending his lust letters to.”

“...I’d really rather you didn’t. They annoy Rarity so much. She’s had a few suitors in the past, but none that begged her to sit on their face and shove a vibrator where the sun don’t shine. She got really mad after getting the first one.”

“I don’t know who Rarity is, but I’ll abstain, if allowing it to continue causes a pony to suffer.” We finally flew into the windows of her giant hive palace. There was no one in the hallway aside from us. “Return to my chambers. I shall be there after I take care of a few things.”

“Alrighty. I’ll warm myself up for you…” She rolled her eyes and hopped back out the window. I continued down the hall, having been there enough times to know just where to go. “So what do you think?” I asked when I was safely ensconced in her room.

“Choosing changeling was the wiser move, but it has risks. Remember that you will be hit with several new senses, including pheromones. Nourishment might be difficult, but I will ensure that things go smoothly.”

“What in particular was unwise about choosing pony?”

Flo giggled. “You know she would make you wear all kinds of sex toys. And you’d be her pet, so you couldn’t say no.”

“...Wonder if it’s too late to change my mind.” I heard a wet smack in my head. “Just sayin’. It’s not like anyone would know it was me, unless we ran into Taya or something.”

“Which you just know would happen. Remember, you aren’t allowed to have nice things.”

“Yeah, I know… Though I bet Taya would use magic to discreetly turn the toys up just to make me suffer.”

“I hate you so much.”

“That makes two of us.”

“Just for that…” She took control of my body and jumped onto the bed. Before I could ask what she was doing, she instantly gave me an scarily intense orgasm.

Once I finished riding the throes of pleasure, I slowly sat up so I could remove my wet pants. “One of these days, Flo. POW! Straight to the moon! Then you’ll have to talk to Luna and it’ll be awkward because she tried to kill you that one time and she’s also a total cunt.”

“It’ll be worth it, just to make you suffer.”



I stuck my tongue out. She made me taste straight alum.

When Chrysalis walked in, she was probably pretty confused at the horrible faces I was making. To her credit, she didn’t comment on them. She just tugged on the leash tied to one of the holes in her back leg and a familiar pony pet walked in. “Are you ready?” she asked.

I sat up and stared at the pony. “I know this guy from somewhere,” I said. “Do you know what he did?”

She shrugged. “I was given the records of those that were more violent. This fellow did something to displease Celestia, but I don’t know what.”

Flo said, “He ambushed you in a back alley in Canterlot. You threw a knife into his leg.”

“Oh yeah. This is a guy that was paid to attack me in Canterlot. It ended poorly for him and his buddies. One of them died. One ran. This one and a griffin both got caught. He seemed a lot less happy then…” At the moment, he was just smiling and wagging his tail, looking at everything around the room.

“Being stabbed is an unpleasant experience,” Chrysalis said. “Are you ready to transform?”

“Just let me finish getting undressed,” I said as I started pulling my shirt off. A moment later, I stood before her, completely naked. “Alright. What kind of changes are there? I know I’ll start sensing pheromones.”

“It’s been so long that I don’t even remember. Prepare yourself.” Her horn lit up so brightly that I closed my eyes. When I felt my body finish changing, I opened them and found a startling array of color all around me. “Ah, it worked. Though I didn’t realize you were such an attractive member of your race.”

“Fuck you.” I looked around the room and saw even more strange colors. “Things look weird. It’s like the air has colors…”

“Those are pheromone streams,” she said, walking closer and tugging her pet along. “After enough time, you pay no mind to the colors and instead see what they represent. Are you hungry?”

I lifted one of my gnarled hooves in front of my face. The thing was, of course, holey. “Not particularly. I feel strangely hollow, though. I don’t think I’ve ever actually cut a changeling open. What’s under this chitin?”

“That hollowness is hunger. We have a sort of… reservoir in us. Hunger doesn’t give us pain, as it would a pony. Devouring emotions fills that reservoir.”

“Cool, cool. What’s under this chitin?”

“Your fleshy interior.” She untied the leash with magic and used it to guide the prisoner in front of me. “You can’t change until you eat.” I stared at the pony. He stared right back, a much happier expression on his face. “First, you must get him to express love. Pet him.

I rolled my eyes and walked around to his side. His head swiveled to follow me. When I started petting him, he sighed in contentment. Then he leaned forward and started licking my face. Before I could pull back, Chrysalis’s horn lit up and held me there.

“Do you feel it?” she asked.

“...No, actually. I don’t feel his tongue or the wetness at all. But I really don’t want my face to be sticky.”

“That isn’t what I meant. Keep petting him and look at the pheromones around him.” I did so and started actually watching him. “His aura should be pink.”

“It is.” I concentrated and saw a tiny amount of black mixed with yellow as well. “Among other things.”

“The yellow is horror and the black is hate. A part of him is still conscious and aware of what’s going on, but it’s held in check by the love poison. Poke the pink with your horn.” I shrugged and did so. The pony stopped licking me and started rubbing his face on my chest instead. As soon as I popped the aura bubble around him, stuff started pouring into my mind and I gasped. “It is much more difficult with an unwilling host.”

There wasn’t a real… taste. Nothing passed my lips, after all. But it felt… right. My entire body seemed to warm up as the love pooled up inside of me. After a few seconds, the fellow pulled away from me, but I barely even noticed. I was still processing what exactly happened. The hollowness was gone and all the colors I was seeing became more vibrant.

Then the fucker mounted me from behind. He didn’t have enough time to even try to insert himself before Chrysalis smacked him right the fuck off. “Don’t even THINK about it, you pastel pony whore!” The stallion whined in fear, shrinking up and looking away. She glared at him for another moment before looking at me. “Changelings usually get what they need quickly and move on. Those that feed on lust take longer. The pets are conditioned to mate with the changeling if enough time passes. This one is frequented by male changelings, since there are more guards in the palace, so it seems he was a little overeager to take advantage of such a fine specimen. I might send him to the breeding chambers as punishment.”

I let that information process as I continued trying to figure out what eating that love did. After a few seconds, I blinked. “Wait, so changelings can have sex in public?”

She nodded. “I don’t see why it would be banned. Few take the opportunity. Usually, it’s only those that take advantage of all the services the pets offer. Had you chosen to be a pony instead, I would have forbidden any of my subjects from touching you… unless you wanted it.”

“Huh. What about the children?”

“What about them? Sex is natural. Why hide it? Nothing is done to those that are too young.”

“Hm. Whatever.” I looked over at the pony pet. “So now what?”

“Well, if you’d like, I can show you how to transform and you can do to him what he was going to do to you.”

“Pass. I’d like to learn how to change, but I don’t want to do a thing to someone that can’t say yes.”

“Very well.” She used magic to toss the pony out the door and then shut it behind him. “First, can you use magic? You said you have done it before, when in the body of a unicorn.”

I closed my eyes and envisioned the room, like I did the first time I ever used magic. After a few seconds of trying to lift one of my shoes, I opened my eyes. The shoe was right where I left it. “Doesn’t look like it.”

“Hm. The rare intelligentsia that can’t use magic. I wonder if that’s because you aren’t actually a changeling.”

“Dunno. So how do I transform?”

“Let’s start with a body modification. Hold up one of your hooves.” I lifted my right one and she mimicked me. “Look at it and envision it how you want it. Color, texture, appearance.” Her hoof quickly morphed into a hand.

I tilted my head slightly and imagined a freaky pink tentacle, because I figured it would be easier than a hand. Sure enough, my leg actually turned into a freaky pink tentacle thing.

“...That isn’t a hand,” she said, lifting an eyebrow.

“It’s easier.” I closed my eyes and thought of myself. My actual self, not the horrible mockery of myself the ponies made me.

“Hm.” A few seconds after Chrysalis made her sound, I opened my eyes. “You messed up your hair. And you forgot your wings.”

“No I didn’t. This is the real me. Fuck the wings and fuck that shitty grass hair.”

She looked down. “You did forget something, though.” I quickly remedied that. She smirked and asked, “Are you sure you aren’t inflating it a little?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, crossing my arms and flexing my new footlong. Er, old footlong.

“Of course, of course. We can have our fun later, after we visit the military base. Turn to the form you would like to have when we enter the base. I would recommend being a female changeling, because the more intelligent soldiers would bend over backwards to help you. But the choice is yours.”

After one last regretful look at my dick, I turned into a male changeling. “I doubt I’ll need their help.” After a few moments of thought, I modified my eyes to look like a drone.

She immediately shook her head. “It won’t work and it’s a terrible idea.”

“Oh. How do I turn back to natural, then? I don’t really know how I looked…” She snatched a pillow from the bed and hit me with it so hard that I actually fell on my ass. Sure enough, I saw a brief flash of green and felt very female again. When I stood back up, I turned back into a dude.

“You still look very feminine, but that matters little. I’ll rub enough pheromones on you that none of the soldiers would even think to flirt with you.”

“Sexy.” She smacked me with the pillow again, but not hard enough to make me revert. “So why can’t I go as a drone?” I asked as she walked up to me.

After she started rubbing her body against mine, she said, “Pheromones. You might not know what they all mean, but the others do. It’s obvious to us all that you’re high ranking. And even if you could disguise yourself as a drone, I wouldn’t allow it in a military base, whether or not you were my assistant.” Feeling chitin rub against chitin is kinda weird, even if I barely felt much of anything. After a few more seconds, she said, “There. We’ll fly, so you can get a chance to use your wings. They’re very different, but it should be a quick adjustment.”

“Alrighty.” We started walking on out. “Just so you know, I don’t want any more children. So if we do bang, you better use protection or self-abort, if changelings can do that.”

“We can. It’s called crushing our eggs.” When we got to the hall, she spread her wings. “Our wings are much smaller than those of a pony. They’re considerably smaller than yours. We fly by beating them continuously, like a humming bird.”

“Sounds tiring.”

“They’re also much lighter, so flapping them constantly is easier. If we get in the air and you find yourself unable to adjust, just turn back to normal and we can fly near where we’re going and walk the rest of the way.”

“Works for me. Shall we, then?”

“Go first. I shall follow.” I shrugged, spread my wings, gave them a few test flaps, then jumped out the side. It took me a few moments of falling before I got the hang of it, but soon enough, I was right back up to the window. “I didn’t think it would give you any issues.” She gracefully joined me in the air and we started off. “Speaking of your children, if you would like to see them, you may. They don’t know who their father is, not that they would recognize you in this form anyway. At this point, they’re old enough to speak.”

It was… kinda tempting. But on the same vein, I’m an absolutely terrible person. “I think I’ll pass. Maybe if we have time leftover from making you not evil, I can see them.”

She snorted. “Wouldn’t a ‘good’ mother want the father of her children to be as involved in their life as possible?”

“...I’m making you a good person or ruler, not a good mother.”

“You’re trying to make me good, are you not? Good in all things.”

“That means baby steps.”

“Which you didn’t get to see.”

“Would you rather them have no father or a bad father? Because you gotta remember, I’m a terrible person and an even worse father.”

She chuckled. “Shall we ask Taya about that, hm?”

I nervously swallowed. “W-we don’t need to do that, now…”

“It wouldn’t be too hard to find her, you know. I’m quite interested to see what she thinks about her father’s transformation.”

“Oh look, we’re here!”

“In fact—”

Oh look, we’re here!” We both landed in the large military building, with her still chuckling at my suffering. I was pretty sure she wouldn’t actually tell Taya on me, but I also really didn’t want to risk it.

That girl is fucking sadistic sometimes.

“Consider the matter closed… for now. Come.” She started walking and I made sure to follow behind her, since I was pretending to be a changeling. I didn’t want anyone making any assumptions about why I was walking at her side, after all. “You are allowed to ask questions, if you desire. Just not too many.”

“Do I have to use niceties when talking to you?”

“If you don’t want to risk Ditto attempting to draft you, yes.”

“Alright. I’m going to do very dirty things to you tonight, your majesty.”

“I look forward to it, subject.” I noticed a particular door with a large amount of pheromone trails on it. When she entered it, I took a moment to actually study the trails. Each was a different color. Chrysalis left a greenish trail behind. Several were red. A few were black. One was pink, but it was a lot smaller. Then I realized she probably wouldn’t wait on me and stepped into Ditto’s office. “We’re here for the training exercise,” Chrysalis said.

Ditto immediately stood. “It will begin on your word, my queen. Would you like me to take you to the troops?”

“No. Begin the exercise in three minutes. I will be there momentarily.”

“Yes, your majesty.” He bowed and walked out of the office, brushing past me like I wasn’t even there.

“Why did I need to be disguised, again?” I asked. “He didn’t even look at me.”

“That’s the point of a disguise, subject. Come.” She walked into the hall at a more stately pace, and went back to the window we entered. We jumped out and flew down to the ground floor, but didn’t enter yet. “We will be getting up close and personal in this exercise. Defend yourself if necessary, but remember that your primary job is to observe. By the way, your new name is Camo.”

“Okay. What exactly is going to happen?”

“Under this military base are several floors made into various landscapes. We’ve placed captured monsters in each one and my soldiers are going to pacify them. I wish I could train against griffins or ponies, but that would be slightly more difficult.”

“Well, the ponies have yearly wargames. You might could ask Celestia about doing some joint training, since you guys are all buddy-buddy now.”

“Hm.” She finally stepped inside, leading me into yet another dull building with long stretches of hallways. “Ditto will be leading. We will be acting as civilians the soldiers are escorting.” She looked my way for a moment before smiling darkly. “Civilians with teeth, of course.”

She entered a door leading straight down into darkness, though I could see several pheromone trails leading in. I made sure to stay as close as possible to her so I didn’t miss one of the steps. And if I did, I didn’t have far to fall before hitting something fun.

It didn’t take too long to reach the bottom, at least. We entered an unlit barracks with three rows of six soldiers each standing at attention in front of us. Ditto was at the far right of the first row, making nineteen. It seemed each soldier stood a little straighter when they realized Chrysalis was there.

“You will be escorting my aide and I,” Chrysalis said. “Keep us safe. We will defend ourselves if need be. I hope the need will not arise. Ditto, begin the exercise.”

“Squad one, point. Squad two, guard the queen. Squad three, rear guard.” What about me? “Move out.” The front line of troops started moving down yet another staircase on the far side of the barracks. Chrysalis nodded once, then prodded me behind them. I shrugged and followed. The next squad fell in behind me, then Chrysalis followed them. I was already going down, but I assumed the last squad followed her.

The sight at the end of the staircase was… surreal. I don’t know how they managed to put a fucking desert underground, including the desert sun, but they managed. I’m talking full Saharan with sand everywhere, not the boring Arizonan desert with its shitty red dirt and weird plants all over the place.

At first, I thought it was some kind of illusion magic. But then I started feeling the heat seep through my carapace and into my fleshy bits. The fact that there wasn’t a roof had to be an illusion, but the heat was real.

“Keep an eye on the sand,” Ditto said as he came down the staircase. I turned to look at him and realized the stairs were gone, as was the wall they were inlaid into. “This exercise is live and we found some very unpleasant monsters.”

Each of the soldiers nodded, but my mouth dropped. “This is live?” I choked, turning to Chrysalis.

She smirked. “Indeed it is, Camo. Don’t worry. They’ll protect you… If you keep up.” She nodded back behind me and I turned to resignedly follow the first squad.

Flo, if shit hits the fan, make me a weapon. Go full fucking tyranid if you have to.

“Oh, don’t worry. If things get bad, we’ll be walking out, no matter what. Chrysalis might have an accident, though…”

Avoid that if you can. I’ll need her to turn me back, because convincing Taya or Celestia I’m not actually a changeling might be annoying. Also, I really want to put my dick in her again.

“I hate you sometimes.”

I know.

Changelings, apparently, do not sweat. They just get really hot very quickly. I found myself panting in the heat only twenty minutes after we started. Most of the soldiers were faring the same way. It sapped our strength and awareness, which is probably why we didn’t notice the sand moving on its own until it was just a few feet away.

When the large worm shot out of the sand, the only reason we didn’t lose half of the first squad is because of their uneven spacing. As it was, the thing managed to devour the changeling right in front of me before any of us could react. Thankfully, it just kept sliding through the sand, trying to get down before its exposed body could be hurt.

It failed, luckily. As something grabbed my tail and yanked me back, two changelings from first and three from second jumped forward and turned into giant ants. They immediately started biting that fucker apart, making it thrash around in the sand.

I decided not dying was the better part of valor and turned my ass into a fucking tortoise, then hid in my shell. After a minute or so of feeling the sand jerk around, everything finally went still, aside from heavy breathing. That’s when I turned back into a normal changeling dude. Or at least, what I hoped was a normal changeling dude.

The worm had been hacked to pieces and a very nasty changeling was wiping ichor off himself. After a quick count, I figured that was probably the fellow that got swallowed. I’m surprised that ichor shit isn’t acidic.

“Don’t tempt fate,” Flo cautioned. I considered that a valid point and stopped thinking about it. “Though you could have helped, you know.”

It’s their exercise, not mine. I’m here to observe, not assist. I observed them killing the shit out of a worm.

“And then you covered your eyes.”

No one asked for your opinion.

“Move out!” Ditto called. “You can clean yourself on your own time.” The filthy fellow sighed and fell back into formation as we started walking yet again.

Fuck, it is hot. Flo, think they’d be mad if I turned into a camel?

“They can be mad all they like. Do it.” I shrugged and suddenly grew several inches. All the changelings stared for a few seconds, but none commented and they all went back to walking and watching. Meanwhile, I instantly started feeling cooler. Or more likely, caring less about how fucking hot it was.

The next monster we ran into was some kind of horrifying scorpion thing. But it had arms ending in hands and a human-like face attached to its main body. It looked freaky as hell and moved far too fast to be natural. “What is that?” I had time to ask before it was on us.

It went right for the second squad and grabbed one of the changelings. As it brought its stinger down, the changeling morphed into a tortoise and blocked it. The scorpion tried to let go and get a better target, but this tortoise decided to bite, holding on for dear life.

Meanwhile, the other changelings of squad two turned into naga and slithered up to the bastard. While he was distracted with the tortoise biting him and fucking his hands up, they started grabbing his legs. As soon as the thing realized he was surrounded, his tail started flailing wildly before something stopped it in its place, presumably magic.

At that point, the only defenses the guy had were his small teeth. The naga casually ripped off his legs and the scorpion started howling. That made the naga start laughing as they tore into this body, taking apart whatever they could find. Soon enough, there was nothing left of whatever the hell that was but greasy body parts strewn over the sand.

Well, that was fucking horrifying. Flo?

“Pabilsag,” she said. “Part human, part scorpion. Another legend from another time.”

Go figure. All the changelings turned back to normal and our dark party continued its march.

Twenty minutes later, we got to the end of the hellish desert. I can’t even call it an ‘end’, because another staircase just appeared in the air in front of us and the first squad started walking down. We were in that awful place for an hour and I think most of the changelings might have had heatstroke.

Then we stepped into a jungle. This time, the heat was wet and nasty, not dry and arid. There wasn’t any wind kicking up sand, but vibrant vegetation moved all around us, replete with signs of life.

One particularly large sign of life started growling as soon as I got into the jungle. My eyes met the black cat’s hellish pupils and then he pounced. I lifted my front hooves up to try to stop him before I could even think about it. Then both of them turned into large scythes and my entire body became plated and spiky.

The dingonek’s scaled body met my plates and swords and pushed me back several inches before he stopped and disengaged. I rose to my new full height of three meters, well above his head. Its eyes seemed to widen and it spun about to run, but I lunged forward and slammed both scythes into his back.

They pierced right through his heavy armor and I ripped his scales aside, then brought in my razor sharp teeth to rip out his spine. When I had half the bones free from his back, my mouth just tore straight through the bone and swallowed the mouthful whole, leaving a torrent of blood dripping from my teeth. Needless to say, the dingonek collapsed and started twitching.

With him dead, I took a moment to actually study the body Flo put me in. As I said before, my arms were scythes, my entire back was covered with jagged spikes, my bottom half was a tail shorter than a naga’s, and I think my teeth were longer than my normal forearm. There was absolutely no doubt that she turned me into a tyranid. I tried chuckling, but it only came out as a horrid rasping sound that made the changelings that were staring at me jump back.

“That is enough, Camo,” Chrysalis said. “Though I’m impressed with the improvisation.”

I slowly lowered my body back to a more natural stance, then warped back into a changeling. “Thank you, your majesty.”

Ditto stared at me for a few seconds before saying, “You will show me that form again when we return to the base. If you survive. Move out, same formations!”

I had no intentions of not surviving, that was for fucking sure. And the way the others skirted around the body of the dingonek, I figured they’d be treating guarding me with a little more respect.

Or a little less care, since I could apparently look after myself…

In the desert, we could follow the top of the dunes. There wasn’t a path, per se, but the way was clear and you never had to wonder if you were walking in a straight line, because you could just look back at the footprints.

Jungles, however, are fucking awful. There’s nothing like a road you can follow, so there’s no way of knowing if we were going in circles. Everything’s alive and almost everything is wet. Worse, everything’s always moving, even things that aren’t hostile. Most of the troops were already very jumpy due to being attacked three times already. Adding in everything looking like it might be reaching for them just compounded the effect.

I’m just glad that I couldn’t smell all the rotting vegetation I could feel squelching under my feet.

“Hold.” The entire patrol stopped whatever they were doing at the single word from the fellow on point. “Massive ant mound. Better to go around.”

“Why not above?” I asked before I could stop myself.

“We’d have to turn into birds to get anywhere in this vegetation,” Ditto said. “Do you know what lives in jungles?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “Spiders that can eat birds. We go around.” The changelings up front started going around the large clearing we were coming up on. Two of them kept an eye on it, just in case any ants detected us and thought we would make a good meal.

It should be said that this wasn’t a giant ant mound, but rather, a large ant mound. Giant being pony-sized, large being pencil-sized. These were bullet ants, which could still easily fuck someone up… if they could get through our carapaces.

Thankfully, they seemed content to ignore us. They probably either realized there were too many of us for them to handle or they realized we weren’t food.

Of course, there are downsides to having a bug-like carapace. After all, where there are ants, there are those that feed on ants. And where there are very large ants, the things that feed on them have to be exponentially larger…

Since I was near the front of the patrol, I didn’t notice anything was amiss until the shouting started. I turned back to the third squad and beheld yet another well-armored giant thing slurping up a changeling with a giant fucking tongue. “Is that an anteater?” I whispered, blinking a few times.

No one answered, of course. The changeling that was getting eaten turned into a buffalo before he could make it into the actual mouth, so all he did was body-slam its armored face then fall to the ground. That gave the other changelings time to jump to action, at least. None of them could transform into much that could penetrate its armor, but second squad was apparently full of mages. One of them gathered all the water in the area and tossed it onto the thing while the others peppered it with lightning.

After a few seconds of that, the giant thing fell to the ground, smoking and leaking blood from its eyes, mouth, and nose.

“Throw a fireball at it and move on,” Ditto said. “We need to move before the ants realized we killed their predator.” Each of the changelings in squad two threw a large ball of fire at the thing, just to be sure, before we all started moving in what was hopefully the right direction. I had no fucking clue where we were going or where we had been, at that point.

Seriously, fuck jungles. I was all too happy to see the next staircase materializing from the air and from the speed at which the first squad ran to it, they felt the same damn way.

When I stepped into a frozen taiga, I immediately wanted the jungle back. We were all covered in droplets of water that started freezing to us as soon as we stepped into the frigid environment. Compared to the jungle’s constant movements around you, this place was eerily still.

And God help me, the cold reminded me of the undead I had so recently escaped.

I immediately shifted into a bear, because fuck the cold. My furry hide felt amazingly warm compared to the short time of previous frigidity. The troops around me stared for a few seconds before shaking their heads and moving on.

They were just jealous I thought of it and they didn’t.

This time, the first creature we wondered upon was an elk. It looked up from the snow it was pawing at and just turned around to wander away. None of the changelings said a word, so I ignored it. Surprisingly, this actually didn’t end up stabbing me in the back.

Despite being hellishly cold, the taiga was also strangely beautiful. Tall evergreens loomed over us on all sides and snow covered the ground, somehow having snuck through the branches. Mist fogged at everyone’s breath and most of the changelings quickly grew covered in frost from the dew droplets we hit in the jungle. The pale sunlight reflected off it quite nicely, though none of them took the time to appreciate its beauty.

Probably because they were all fucking freezing. Well, except for Chrysalis, who decided to become a large lady bear, because she actually has common sense.

Half an hour later, I realized our enemy in that biome was apparently just the cold. We hadn’t run into any monsters when the next staircase appeared in front of us. I assumed that meant they’d strike while half of us were off that floor, so I was looking forward to seeing what the last squad would do.

Imagine my surprise when that actually didn’t happen. We all got to the next area without any issues.

This staircase deposited us in a cave. At first I thought we were done, but then the changelings started moving out yet again. After that, I took a moment to wonder if they magicked up a whole cave environment, or just dug it out naturally and left it alone. Then I turned back into a changeling because I was getting hot.

All the others took a moment to shake their bodies to divest them of the rapidly melting ice. It silently splashed around the cave we were in as a few changelings in group two sent out lights to flank us. That was probably unnecessary, but being able to see farther is always good in a combat environment.

It definitely saved us from the first ambush. I wasn’t even looking at the ceiling, but one of the scouts apparently was, because he called for a halt. “Up above, ten meters ahead,” he said. One of the lights immediately zoomed to that area, revealing ten large gel-like creatures up there. “Ugh, slimes.”

“Fire for effect,” Ditto said. Just like that, second squad opened up with fire balls, knocking those creepy things right off the ceiling, then melting them on the floor before they could start moving toward us. “Disgusting things. Keep moving.”


“You read about them in an underground monster manual once. They land on something that walks under them and drown them, then dissolve the body. It’s quite gruesome.”

Yeah… Our column continued moving, though we all sidestepped around the horrid slimes. Once more, I thanked whoever that I didn’t have to smell it.

The lights did not help save us from the second ambush. No, what saved us from that one is the ineptitude of those doing the ambushing. Thirty weird frog-like things jumped up around second squad, croaking creepy war cries and launching stone spears at us. I was worried at first, because it sounded freaky as hell and the spears looked threatening, but then they just bounced off the squad’s carapaces.

The changelings just watched as the frogs ran up and started tapping them. I want to say punching, but there wasn’t enough strength behind those little pushes. Chrysalis looked up from the four prodding her and asked Ditto, “Did we actually waste time capturing froglodytes?”

“No, your majesty. They must have snuck in the cave somehow.” He backhoofed the one that was attacking him, sending it sprawling onto the cave floor.

“I thought as much,” Chrysalis said, rolling her eyes. “Soldiers, eradicate this filth.”

They leapt into action, not even bothering to change form. Each one just started crushing the little frog things. After half of them were dead, the rest got the message and started breaking off. Chrysalis smirked and each one that ran was immolated from the inside.

Ditto sniffed in distaste. “If these things were living here, they would have dealt with every other monster, or they would have already been killed. Keep moving.”

I had no idea how such uselessly weak creatures could kill some of the horrifying shit I’ve seen in this world, but none of them questioned it and they kept moving at a faster pace, seemingly unworried about their surroundings. I still made sure to keep watch, because I didn’t want to get blindsided by the kind of monstrous shit that lives in the dark, hidden places of the Happy Sunshine Horse World.

Thankfully for us all, we got to the next staircase unchallenged. I doubt the frog things had anything to do with that, but I also wasn’t about to complain. The next staircase took us outside the cave, to a mountainous area. We were actually on the side of a mountain, looking down toward a large beach followed by an even larger ocean, probably about a kilometer away.

“This will be the last room for today,” Chrysalis announced when she arrived.

“But your majesty, what about—”

“The last room,” she said again, staring right at Ditto. He bowed his head, then called for us to begin moving.

The column started moving immediately, then just as quickly stopped when something shot out of the rocks to our right. Something taller than I was as a tyranid pulled itself free from the mountain and lifted a club the size of five changelings up with it. I had never seen a mountain troll in real life, and was honestly wishing I’d never have to see one. This one ran a massive hand down his face to dislodge any loose rocks, then balefully gazed upon us. When he saw that we were changelings, he roared so loud that I could feel the mountain shake, then swung his club along the ground faster than any of us could dodge.

All of first squad went flying through the air, cast aside in this guy’s opening strike. Third squad immediately jumped forward. Half of them morphed into manticores and the others turned into teenaged dragons. Two of the dragons went for his arms, trying to wrestle them into submission. The third used his claws to start swiping at his iron-hard chest. The manticores began swooping around his body and jabbing him with their stingers. Nothing they did would be fatal since they didn’t actually have any poison, but they did act as giant mosquitos that enraged the fucker.

While third squad acted as a distraction, second squad surrounded the queen. Some kind of magic bubble went up around them and then all the changelings stuck their horns together.

The troll decided not to wait on them. Despite looking like dragons, the changelings had only a fraction of the actual strength of one. Even at full strength, teenage dragons would have nothing on a fully grown mountain troll. The fucker threw his right arm to the side, immediately dislodging the dragon there, then grabbed the one attacking his other arm by the tail and used him to beat the changeling slashing his chest. Both of them reverted forms and he tossed the one in his hand aside.

The manticores surrounding him decided to get out of dodge as he started to swipe at them. Squad two had not been idle, and a chunk of ice started gathering in the air in front of them. After a few seconds, it started taking the form of a large spike as it continued to grow. As soon as the way was clear, they shot the spike toward the fellow. The first few inches shattered against his naturally hard skin and bones, but after nearly a foot of ice ground off, it began piercing his flesh.

Of course, he chose that moment to bring his club back up and break the spike off halfway, leaving a small chunk of ice embedded into his chest. Then he lifted that club up and slammed it into the shield. The manticores started hounding him again, but trolls are sort of sapient and this one knew exactly who the queen of the changelings was. He was out for blood.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t let him get it. “Flo, how big do you think we can get?”

“Not big enough to be a hive tyrant, unfortunately. I have something else in mind, anyway. Fly above him.” I shot into the air, knowing I needed to hurry. He kept lifting his club up the same way to strike at the same place and all of his attention was focused down there, so getting above him was relatively easy.

Once I was safely in place, Flo waited until his arms started moving back down, then changed my body back into a large tyranid warrior, this time with massive leathery wings. I wasn’t expecting them, though, so I just plummeted down on top of his head. I reflexively tried wrapping my legs around his head to stop from sliding off, but only succeeded in wrapping my long naga-like tail around his neck.

When I was fairly secured, I looked at my scythe arms, then took a deep breath and slammed them into his eyes, as far in as I could get them. I was in the perfect position for it, so I soon felt my arms come to a halt as I hit the back of his skull. He had been in the process of lifting his club back up, and it came all the way to the ready position again before he actually realized what I had done. Even with two gaping wounds in his brain, his arms let the huge club go and he tried feeling his face to see what was blocking his vision.

It didn’t take him long to realize there was something wrapped around his head and neck. One of his large hands grabbed me, ignoring the bony spikes on my back, and tried tugging me off. My tail kept me in place, but him tugging still moved me enough that my blades began swishing around in his brain matter, fucking him up even more.

After two tugs, he finally groaned in pain and gave one last tug that ripped my arms and body free and gave all the changelings a shower of blood, eye jelly, and brain as the serrated blades pulled out.

Even then, the fucker still had the strength to toss me aside and lift his hands back to his ruined face. I caught myself in the air, since I was much more used to those wings, and slowly lowered myself back to the ground as his body finally realized the extent of the damage and he started to collapse.

The changelings in front of him booked it, getting the hell out of the way of his large body as it came tumbling down. When his corpse finally hit dirt, I slithered over and started going to town on his neck with my massive scythes. Even though he should be dead, I didn’t want to risk anything. The changelings that hadn’t been injured rushed to find those who were and check on them.

Chrysalis came to stand next to me, watching me at my work. “That’s highly unnecessary, Camo.” I tried talking, but tyranids didn’t really evolve complex vocal cords, so I just growled and hissed instead. “Your queen commands you to stop.”

I slowly pulled up my bloody scythes, turning to face her. She casually stared at me. I lifted one of the blades to my mouth and ran it through my teeth, letting the delicious blood and brain seep down my throat. She didn’t say a word, so I leaned in close and hissed again.

“Turn back to a changeling, Camo. This form of yours is most unappealing.” With a flash of green flame, I did as she asked. “You did a good job of bringing this beast down.”

“Do not trick me again, Chrysalis,” I quietly said. “You should have told me this would be dangerous.”

“I have no intention of letting you come to harm. If things become problematic, I will teleport us out instantly. You’ve handled yourself marvelously. Ditto would probably offer you a commission, if I wasn’t going to tell him at the end of this. This troll was the most dangerous thing on this level, so just deal with it for a little longer.”

“Tch. We should be flying. It’s faster and there are fewer things with wings that can attack us.”

“I have considered the same thing. We are too light and individually weak to be on the ground. Feel free to ask him when the exercise is over.”

“I plan on it.”

“Good. What is that shape you keep taking? I’ve never seen anything like it, not even among the demons in Tartarus.”

“Something from stories back in my world. It’s called a tyranid. I could probably make it look a lot scarier and be a lot more dangerous, if I had more power.”

“It looks dangerous and scary enough as it is. Should we field a few of those, there will be no army willing to stand in our way.”

“The tyranid remind me of the changelings in a lot of ways. They have a hive mind and their sole purpose is to consume other life. Don’t fall down that path, Chrysalis. The tyranids are mindless consumers, enemies to all life. What you were, just a short time ago. In a world like this, being friendless and combative is a bad thing to be.”

“Why do you think I have been so quick to accede to the many demands Celestia made upon me? Or so quick to agree to the peace the griffins asked for? I even sent an emissary to that wretch of a love princess.”

“Speaking of her, she apparently has some way of feeding changelings using love magic. I didn’t get the details because I didn’t care, but you might be interested.”

“I am extremely interested and you should have told me this immediately. I will send her a letter as soon as we get out of this stupid project. There’s no love lost between her and I, but if she has something that may help my people, I would kiss her hooves to get a glimpse at it.”

“I doubt she’d go that far. Just talk at you about love for hours. She likes doing that. It’s annoying.”

“I can only imagine. Now come, it’s time we moved on.” She stepped past the troll’s body and walked up to the largest concentration of changelings. “Ditto, are we set to keep moving?”

“Yes, your majesty. Three dead, and none of the changelings in the first squad can walk anymore. We stabilized the worst of them, but our mages are tired after holding that shield.”

“For their valiant sacrifice, I shall heal the wounded,” Chrysalis said. “Give me a moment.” She began walking around the changelings, healing each one that was injured. After seeing Taya and Twilight heal me enough times, it was obvious that Chrysalis actually had a lot of experience with that kind of magic. Her patients didn’t seem too drowsy or weak after the healing process. Each one looked fully ready to keep going for several hours.

Of course, it could also be that Chrysalis is hellishly old and incredibly powerful.

After five minutes of awkwardly standing around, Chrysalis stepped back in front of her general. “It is done.”

“Thank you, your majesty. Third squad, take point. First, watch our backs. Second, you have the queen and her aide. Move out.”

We continued moving in pretty much the same formation, though third squad was missing a person and they were in front now. The bodies laid where they fell, so I assumed they didn’t bother recovering their dead. Or maybe a cleanup crew was going to come in behind us, now that we had dealt with all the monsters. After all, we left a lot more bodies than just our own.

After that awful troll, we got to the bottom of the mountain with no real issues. It fed directly into a beach, so we started padding across the annoyingly loose sand. Every step brought me up to the first hole in my leg, so I morphed into a fawn. That made me light enough that I rarely sink and when I did, my skinny legs easily slid out. Once again, none of the changelings commented.

About halfway to the ocean, the sand started trembling. I immediately shifted into a giant sea turtle and put most of my extremities into my shell. The changeling squads all circled up, surrounding the queen and watching outward. Seconds later, a giant enemy crab practically jumped out of the sand. One of its claws was huge while the other was only the size of a normal changeling. As soon as it saw us, the thing turned to face the mountain and started skittering across the sand toward us.

I want to say the changelings had some kind of epic battle with the thing. It would make what happened sound a lot cooler. But I’m afraid that isn’t the case.

Once it got within five meters, one of the changelings bounded forward and turned into an elephant with tusks, then ducked his head down and rammed the crab. When they were stuck in place, the elephant shot his head up, catching the crab under its side legs by the tusks and flipping it onto its back. After that, the changelings just piled on top of the thing and struck its weak spot repeatedly for massive damage.

It was kinda sad, really.

Once they cracked its shell and ripped out its gooey parts, we continued moving toward the ocean. So if he could turn into an elephant, why couldn’t I turn into a hive tyrant?

“An elephant is, at most, four meters tall. They probably have the same amount of biomass as the tyranid I turned you into before. A tyrant is at least twice as large, with probably more than four times as much mass. They also have more arms and extremities than you’d know what to do with. Consider yourself lucky I didn’t just turn you into a hummingbird to let you peck at their eyes.”

When you get free, I am going to embarrass you in front of all your family.

“And I’ll be sure to embarrass you in front of Taya.”



I kinda wanted to stick my tongue out again, but it would have looked funny if any of the changelings were watching me and I didn’t want to embarrass Chrys-Chrys. We were coming up on the ocean anyway, so I figured I should pay attention to my surroundings instead of thinking of ways to make Flo suffer.

A few minutes after we killed the giant crab, we all stood in front of the water. There wasn’t a staircase leading out and there wasn’t a boat, so I didn’t really know what we were supposed to be doing. Then I saw all of second squad staring intensely out into the ocean and assumed they were magicking something up.

Sure enough, a decent sized boat slowly rose out of the eerily calm ocean, finally making a few waves on its surface. It was an old-fashioned viking thing with a single mast and a nasty tattered sail. I don’t know why the ship originally sank, but I was honestly somewhat wary about getting on a boat that already failed its one purpose. Unfortunately, all the cool changelings were doing it and Flo really wanted me to be popular, so I regretfully spread my wings and flew over to the wet ship. All the water inside was draining out, at least, so we probably wouldn’t sink too quickly.

The changelings arranged themselves around the edge of the boat. No one manned the oars. When we were all on board, the ship silently began to glide across the water. Strangely enough, it almost immediately started to rain, with clouds appearing from nowhere.

“How’s it raining in a cave?” I quietly asked, staring up at the clouds as though they’d answer.

“Shachihoko,” Ditto just as quietly replied. “Prepare to repel boarders.”

Creepily enough, all the changelings morphed into me, wings and all, then reached to the edges of the boat. They all grabbed handles that I thought were just handholds and pulled them, revealing their true purpose. Soon, each clone of me was wielding a rusty saber, hidden on board for just this purpose.

They armed themselves just in time, too. Four massive tiger fish shot out of the water and latched onto the sides of the boat. Of course, when I say tiger fish, I mean they had the head of a tiger with scales and the body of a fish. They held on by digging their serrated side fins into the ship’s railing.

“Push them back!” Ditto called. Just like that, the din of battle began.

Since it was currently accepted, I morphed into myself and grabbed a sword from in front of me. After a few tugs, the crappy blade came loose and I joined the battle against the nearest fish. There were far more of us than there were of them, but the fish things were a lot larger than us and it seemed they were hungry. Because of that, I jumped into the air and used the other changelings as a distraction. There were plenty of handholds on its back, so I flew over to it and held on with one hand, using the other to poke and prod around, looking for weak spots. If I had my own sword, I’d just stab the fucker and call it a day. Unfortunately, I just had a piece of shit that broke as soon as I jammed it under a scale.

Thankfully, it had the desired effect. The fish thing started thrashing madly, trying to dislodge me and the sword. The changelings took advantage of its pain and all jumped forward to take out its weak points. Two stabbed its eyes and two sliced through its fins, making it start sliding back into the water. I dropped the sword’s handle and jumped back onto the deck as it fell beneath the waves.

The other changelings were handily dealing with their own fish, so I walked up to Chrysalis, morphing back into a changeling as I did so. “Why that body?” I asked.

She barely spared me a glance before turning back to the battle. “Better sword handling skills. Dogs and cats can barely grasp blades. There’s also the wings, which makes movement much easier. And I may or may not take a few of them back to the castle with me every night.”

“Makes sense, I guess.” Soon enough, the last fish slid under the waves. “The swords should be magically shielded. Only half lasted that whole battle.” Those that did were slid back into their holding areas while the changelings all turned back. Thankfully, there were no injuries among the changelings.

“Add that to the list of things to mention to Ditto.” Right after she said that, the final staircase appeared. She lifted a hoof up and slammed it into the ground. The down staircase disappeared and one next to it leading up appeared. “We are done here.” The soldiers all bowed and let her enter the staircase first. I followed immediately behind, so I could get a good view of her ass the whole way up. The changelings behind me probably didn’t approve, but I was too busy looking at a sexy bug butt to care.

It took us fifteen minutes to get to the top. When we did, all the random soldiers immediately went to their bunks. Chrysalis kept walking, so Ditto and I followed. We retraced our steps out of the building, then flew up to Ditto’s office.

When we got there, Chrysalis magicked the door shut while Ditto walked to the other side of his desk. “Ditto, this is Navarone,” she said, nodding at me. When she said that, I turned into myself.

“That is a changeling, your majesty,” Ditto replied.

“Because I turned Navarone into a changeling. I wanted him to see how we operate, without any of my subjects knowing he was there.”

“I see.”

“And he has a few comments and concerns. Navarone, if you would?”

Honestly, I didn’t really feel like listing them all out. But I knew it might help, so I started from the beginning. Thankfully, I don’t have to do it again, because fuck you. An hour later, Chrysalis and I were flying back to the palace.

“I had never thought to transform into a fictional creature,” Chrysalis said. “How did you know it would work?”

“Because to me, you’re all fictional creatures. In a world with magic and turning people into other species, why couldn’t I become something that probably doesn’t exist here? It’s still a biological critter, even if it might not be one that you could run into in the streets. And besides, you can modify your own body at will, into anything you need it to be. Why couldn’t I just modify my entire body at will to look like a tyranid? That way, it doesn’t matter if I could or couldn’t turn into a fictional species.”

“Fresh perspectives are very valuable. I should have wiped your mind and made you a servant a long time ago.”

“Bad Chryssi. We’re trying to turn you good, remember?”

“I said should have, not that I was gonna!”

“Uh huh. See to it that it stays that way. I would hate to have to not spank you.”

“Tch. Spare me,” she said, rolling her eyes. “You’d only hurt your hand. Besides, I’m far more interested in spanking than being spanked. Now, how about we make a detour to see your children?”

“Is Taya in the hive? If so, I might deign to see her…”

“The children we sired together. Don’t say you’re ashamed of me…?”

“We didn’t have them together. You tricked me and used my sperm against my will.”

“Against your will? It was freely offered!”

“...If you’ll recall, you had to drag me to your room with magic.”

“You certainly didn’t put up a fight, and were all too willing to accommodate me.”

“I also had several mood-altering spells on me!”

“Excuses. No male can deny my grace and beauty. There was never any doubt that you would succumb to me. There is no shame in it. Really, you’re only punishing yourself and your children. Them, by not having a father. Yourself, by not engaging in the joys of parenting.”

“I hate children.”

She sighed and shook her head. “I’m afraid we would never really work out… I’d certainly be willing to try, though.”

“It’s an offer I’ll keep in mind,” I drily replied. Especially if she really wanted to learn how to not be a complete bitch. I could see myself spending a few years in or around the hive. Especially if I could temporarily be a changeling with infinite food and a penis.

“Though if we got married, I would need a title for you. We can’t both be queen…”

“Queen consort, maybe?” I asked.

“Maybe. Here we are…” We finally landed in the palace, on her floor. “There are some things I need to take care of. It’s nearing night, so I will be back shortly. Wait for me in my room.”

“You got it. Don’t get too tired, of course. I’m gonna wear that pussy out on my own.”

“Uh huh.” She rolled her eyes again and hopped back out the window while I walked down the hall to her bedroom.

“So now’s your chance to voice your disapproval,” I said when I was on her bed.

“Oh, no. I quite like your idea,” Flo said. “I’ll be sure to help, too, since you might have difficulty with it.”

“God, I’m rubbing off on you so hard.”

“Not as hard as I’ll rub off in you,” she cheekily said.

“God, you are such a slut.”

“I learned from watching you.”

“And I’m so proud,” I happily sighed.

When Chrysalis got back, she waltzed over to the bed and fell into it. “Ruling an empire is hard,” she said as she snuggled up against me.

“Is it worth it?”

“Sometimes. I assume you want to turn back tomorrow?”

“You assume correctly. You seem tired anyway, so I don’t want to wear you out by making you do that much magic.”

“Right. That’s the reason.” She let me go and rolled onto her back. “Go ahead and ravish me, then,” she sarcastically said. “Let’s get this over with so we can go to sleep.”

“Happily,” I said as I rose from the bed. Flo?

She chuckled and my body started to change. I wasn’t going to be human for this one, unfortunately. I had something else in mind, something I always wanted to do but never thought I could. Chrysalis’s expression changed from bemused to interested to slightly horrified as my body grew and split, grew and split. Soon, I stood before her in all my glory.

“Um.” All my dozens of tentacles shot toward her at once.

(Sex incoming. ctrl+f “Sex is over” if you’re a pussy)

She definitely wasn’t expecting this one. I put slimy tentacles through all the holes on each of her legs, making sure she couldn’t move at all and completing my old wish of filling all those holes with dicks. Before she could speak out against my rough treatment, I slid another tentacle into her mouth and then down her throat. As much as I wanted to taunt her, I didn’t have a mouth at the moment and was relegated to stroking her body with five more slimy tentacles, covering her with their strange goo.

She moaned eagerly and started suckling on the appendage in her mouth, so I decided she had been teased enough. The tentacles holding her back legs in place pried them further open and lifted her back end up, letting me penetrate her waiting depths with the largest tentacle I made. She moaned again and bit down slightly before continuing to suck.

I wasn’t really expecting her to get into it so quickly, honestly. I quickly flipped her onto her stomach and pulled her ass end up yet again. This time, I lifted her tail out of the way and snaked another, smaller tentacle into her buggy ass, so I could explore all three of her holes at the same time.

Her entire body flinched with every thrust I made, since both tentacles plumbing her lower depths were doing so in unison. After a minute, she gave up trying to please the tentacle in her mouth, and just snaked her forked tongue out under it so she could freely drool. As hot as that was, it didn’t help me get off, so I started humping with that tentacle as well.

Because she seemed to be getting used to it, I started mistiming the thrusts. First I’d pump her pussy, then her ass, then her pussy again, then her mouth, then her ass. There was no way she could last long under that assault, and her body quickly clamped down on my slimy tentacles, squirting her love juices all over me.

I ignored it, of course. I wasn’t in it to get off just yet. I only included the barest minimum of sensory nerves in the tentacles, at the moment. I just wanted to fuck her in every way she could be fucked. My tentacles continued driving themselves into her.

In fact, I still had plenty to spare. I went ahead and decreased the size of the one prodding her ass and slipped in another two. Between the three of them, there were always two inside while the third thrusted. After another few seconds, I started twisting them around each other, as well.

Of course, I still had more. I sent one down to her clit to rub at it and play with the little pincers she was hiding there. They were currently spasming like crazy, trying to guide or move the large thing violating their owner. They settled for grasping at the smaller tentacle playing with her clit.

She still hadn’t cum a second time yet, so I started writhing the tentacles holding her legs down. She told me the holes down there were mildly sensitive, so I figured that would help. I also started morphing the shape of the ones inside of her, adding several nubs and ribs.

As soon as she felt my new additions, she moaned and came again, her entire body jerking in my grasp. Since she was trying to be naughty, I dedicated tentacles to spank each cheek. She said she didn’t feel it, but it still made me smile on the inside. After the first few strikes, her carapace actually started to turn slightly red and she began grunting in pain mixed with pleasure.

Think I should go true cave explorer? I thought to Flo as I began elongating one skinny tentacle.

“As amusing as it would be, it’s not worth the risk. We don’t know much about her body and you probably don’t want to find the end of that hole.”

Ugh, fine. Instead, I used that newly long tentacle to wrap around her belly so she’d stop jerking forward so much with every thrust into her folds. She gurgled appreciatively and that’s when I figured I should probably ease up on the throat fucking. Changelings probably can’t throw up, but I didn’t want to risk it.

Things took on a fairly steady rhythm. I filled her holes to their sexy limits and then pushed just a little more to make her uncomfortable. She still loved every second of it, even though tears were streaming down her face from having her face stuffed for so long. Or at least, I took the fact that she wasn’t using magic to throw me off to mean she enjoyed it, because I never gave her a chance to say anything.

After about half an hour of continuous stimulation, I decided she probably had enough. Both of her eyes were rolled up and she was barely moaning anymore, so I finally gave each tentacle proper nerve endings and a small hole for the grand finale. Let me tell you, going from not having a penis to having a dozen that are all being used to great effect is mind-numbing.

Left alone, I would have frozen up from shock and pleasure. Thankfully, Flo had my back and continued my game of tenderization. It just so happened that now, I was feeling just as great.

After the new feeling, it took me barely a minute to erupt. I pointed all the tentacles that weren’t inside of her toward her face and finally let loose, burying her in creepy green goo. She groaned as it coated the insides of her throat, booty, and vag, but could barely fight back as it slowly slid down her throat.

When I was sure she cleaned her plate, I slowly withdrew the tentacle from her mouth and wrapped it around her chest. I eased her into bed and then cuddled up against her from behind, all my other appendages still lodged inside of her.

She offered no complaints, of course. She was too busy panting in exhaustion to say a word. That’s how I came to fall asleep against the cum-splattered bug queen.

(“Sex is over” and so is the chapter)

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