Diaries of a Madman

When Discord breaks free of his stone prison, he proves to be much older and wiser than he was on the show. A being of ancient and unimaginable power, he forces Celestia to make a deal to save her little ponies. What she doesn't realize is that one of the terms of the deal is that she forgets ever making it. Enter Navarone, a poor human just trying to get by—or at least, to the ponies that's what he looks like. Pulled from his home by an accidental summoning from one Twilight Sparkle, Navarone is thrust into a world of ponies and more violence than he expected from such a peaceful seeming world. These are his adventures—with a few asides from everybody's favorite Lord of Chaos, of course.

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188. Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Two Part 1

After showing my daughter the shining, shimmering, and splendid world, I landed on the mountain Canterlot was attached to. Flying close to the ship risked buffeting it with downdraft and landing in the city itself would probably freak out the guards, so I just stopped near it and let Taya off.

“Go back to the ship and grab Twilight,” I said. “I’ll be here.”

She spread her wings with a grin. “I’ll be back soon, mommy!” With that, she soared off toward the city, leaving me alone on the mountainside.

Of course, that mountainside was still very close to Equestria’s capital city and I was still a fairly sizeable dragon, so it didn’t take very long at all for a full group of fifteen guards to show up. They were a mix of day and night, but mostly day. Several of the younger ones seemed very nervous. A few picked at their heavy cloaks, fighting between staring at me in fear and looking at their officer for guidance.

After a very short standoff, one day guard unicorn with a plumed helmet and a fancier cloak walked forward. “Welcome to Canterlot, lady dragon,” he said. “Is there some way we can be of assistance?”

“There is not, no,” I said. “You have nothing to fear from me. I am merely waiting for a few friends to come assist me.”

Several of the guards started murmuring it up. After letting that go for a few seconds, the lead guard cleared his throat, making them all shut up. “I see. I ask you to understand that your presence here makes us… somewhat nervous.”

“And for that, I apologize. Do you know the name Twilight Sparkle, perhaps?”

“I do, though I don’t know her personally. She is Princess Celestia’s student.”

“Correct. Twilight knows of a spell that allows for shape-shifting. One of the shapes she can turn something into is a dragon. My name is Lady Navarone.” His eyebrows lifted. “I imagine you’ve heard of me, as well.”

“I’ve met you, in fact. If, of course, you are who you say you are. But knowing what I do of Twilight Sparkle and Lady Navarone, I would not be surprised in the slightest. Is that who you’re waiting for now?”

“It is. If you would like to keep me company, you are more than welcome. She should be by shortly.”

“I believe we will stay. Forgive us for the caution,” he said with a small bow.

“There is nothing to forgive. You are doing your job.”

“You know, ever since the war games, I had a feeling the princess would make you a noble.” He turned his head to look at his soldiers. “At ease, fellas. Group up and try to stay warm. With luck, Twilight’ll be here soon.”

With dragon’s blood coursing through my veins, I actually managed to forget that it was the dead of winter. The trees around us remembered, though, not that there were many of them. I reached over and knocked one of the barren trees down, then shot flame onto it. It was wet from snow, but I kept the heat up until it caught anyway. “Join me by the fire,” I said with what I was hoping would be a comforting smile.

Judging by the looks of fear in the eyes of a lot of the guards, I figured it had the opposite effect. That’s when I remembered that all my teeth were huge and sharp and that I just reminded them I could easily cook them. But the captain had more of a backbone and joined me in front of the fire, which convinced his men that I probably wasn’t going to eat them.

One that was apparently a lot more courageous and adventurous than most actually slowly approached me. “I… I’ve never… seen a dragon before,” he quietly said, looking at my glimmering scales in wonder.

“Feel free to get a closer look, if you want,” I said as I stretched out my body. “Friendly dragons are few and far between.”

“That they are,” the captain said. “I met one named Spike a few years back while I was guarding Princess Celestia. And I saw another named Reginald up close when he landed at the palace. Those were the only two I’ve ever seen up close. If you’ve ever wanted to study a dragon and Lady Navarone is willing, now is your chance.”

The one that originally approached slowly got closer and actually poked one of my legs. I didn’t feel a thing under the scales. “So smooth,” he whispered. In response, I lifted the claw and held it palm up for him. He traced one of my fingers before tapping the tip. “If you’re perfectly armored, how could ponies ever fight you?” he asked.

“No clue,” I replied with a shrug. “Go for the eyes, maybe? And I think dragon stomachs have weaker, more thin scales.”

“They do,” the captain said. “But on adult dragons, the difference doesn’t mean much; they’re still thick enough that getting through them is difficult. Truth be told, I don’t even know the last time ponies had to actually fight a dragon, or how they fought them. My guess would be magic.”

“But dragons are very magically resistant,” I said.

“I’ve heard rumors of that, but I didn’t know they were true,” he said. “Then I don’t know either.”

I snorted steam out of my nose, bathing the closest guards in it and making them shiver. “Maybe I should stay this way, then,” I said.

“I bet it certainly has advantages. But then, having guards show up every time you went to a city would get old.”

“It certainly would.”

After the steam bath and enough time talking, it seemed that more guards were comfortable with approaching me. The captain and I watched with some small amusement as most of his men surrounded me and started poking and prodding various places. They were all smart enough to stay away from anywhere that would get them in trouble, so I had no problem with being an anatomy model.

About thirty minutes after I sent Taya off, she flew back with Twilight in tow. One of the pegasus guards was walking around on my back, but most of the rest had lost interest in poking my very unpliable body and were just standing around the fire and trying to stay warm. The two purple temporary alicorns landed next to the burning tree.

“So what did you do, Nav?” Twilight asked. “Or is there some other reason you’re being attacked by a guard?”

The one on my back finally flew off, blushing. “She did nothing,” the guard captain said. “But dragons are not common and very dangerous, so we decided to make sure she wouldn’t… cause panic.”

“And I didn’t mind having a few big, tough stallions around to keep me safe,” I said, trying to keep as much sarcasm out of my voice as possible. Given that Twilight and Taya both rolled their eyes, I’d say I didn’t do a very good job. “Anyway, can you turn me back?”

“Normally, I’d say no and that we’d need Princess Celestia’s help,” Twilight said. “But then I remembered that I was borrowing this from you for study.” Her horn lit up and the alicorn amulet appeared. “I figured this would be as good a time as any to put it to use. Are you ready?”

I took a moment to look back at myself to make sure there weren’t any more guards on me before looking back at her and nodding. “Let’s do it.”

“Taya, let me see if I can do it alone before you try to help,” Twilight said.

“Why can’t I do it?” she asked.

“Because Twilight’s the element of magic,” I said. “If anyone should use the cursed artifact that greatly increases magical strength at the expense of corruption, it’s her.”

“Correct,” Twilight said as she stepped forward and slid the amulet on. Her horn and eyes lit up red for a moment before a blast of energy hit me. The transformation back to human was much longer and considerably more jarring, but after about half a minute of sustained magic, I was finally back to what I’ve come to call normal.

Of course, that left me on all fours, naked, in the snow. Not to mention surrounded by stallions who immediately began staring as I started shivering.

“I can’t believe that worked,” Twilight said. She sounded very stunned, but thankfully had enough presence of mind to pull the amulet off.

“AVERT YOUR GAZES!” the captain yelled, slamming a hoof in the ground. His guards immediately looked away as he trotted forward, eyes stuck firmly on my face. “My lady,” he said as he proffered a hoof.

“Thank you,” I said, taking it.

He helped me stand and then took his cloak off. He used magic to wrap it around me as best he could. “My pleasure, Lady Navarone. Would you like an escort back to Canterlot?”

“I’m afraid I must decline,” I said. “My feet are not hooves or talons. They’d rip to shreds on the ground. I’ll fly back with Twilight and my daughter, though I’m afraid it means I might have to borrow your cloak for quite some time.”

“That’s quite alright,” he said with a bow. “I’d be happy to tell the quartermaster it went to a lady in need.”

“Then you have my gratitude. I’m happy Canterlot is protected by soldiers like you and your platoon, sir.”

“And I’m happy that we have subjects like yourself to protect, ma’am,” he replied. He saluted for a short moment before turning back to his men. “Alright, lads. Back to patrol.” They had the normal grumbles and groans of cold troops doing something they didn’t want to, but that didn’t stop them from getting back in formation and trotting off.

Twilight and Taya had the decency to wait for them to get out of earshot before laughing at me. I was expecting it from Taya, so I didn’t do anything to her. But I just stared Twilight down until she got it all out of her system. “I don’t know what you’re laughing at, missy. Maybe I should shave you and line this cloak with your fur! I bet you wouldn’t forget my clothes after that!”

Of course, that made her start laughing again. I sighed and crossed my arms. Before I could ask why she was still laughing, her horn lit up and a bag appeared. It floated to me and I snatched it out of the air and opened it. Sure enough, it was full of heavy clothes.

“Oh, you done fucked up now! Taya, hold her down!”

Taya’s horn lit up and apparently caught Twilight by surprise, because Taya immediately forced her into the snow. Twilight’s horn lit up, but I broke her concentration by covering her face in it. She shook her head clear and her horn lit up again, but that’s when I shoved as much snow as I could right against her crotch.

Thankfully, Taya was kind enough to muffle Twilight’s scream of shock and then all the adorable pony curses that followed it. I didn’t really want any of the guards to come running back to see Lady Navarone pelting Celestia’s personal student with snow.

While Twilight was recovering and glaring at me, I finally got dressed. The cloak the guy gave me was pretty ornate and had the crest of the royal guard on it, so I doubted I’d use it for much, but at the moment it was warm and I was still shivering.

Once I was finally ready to go, I turned to a miserable and pissy Twilight and my giggly and happy daughter. “Shall we, girls?”

“Aqua is whispering a lot of very fun-sounding things to me right now,” Twilight replied.

“Come on, Twiley. You don’t have to be so cold to me!” That made Taya snicker, of course.

“Those whispers just took a very dark turn. I think I like it.”

“You really need to chill out, silly!” No one is supposed to enjoy bad puns, but Taya’s snickers turned into giggles.

“I’m not sure some of these ideas are even possible, but I think I might have to find out.”

“There’s snow reason to be upset!” And now my daughter was laughing.

Twilight grimly smiled and nodded once. “I’ve decided. Shall we head back to the ship?”

“Yep.” Taya managed to get herself together enough to join us in the air and together, we all flew back to the ship.

I did not have fun that night. It was worth it.

Once Twilight unchained me the next morning, I took a quick shower. When I got back to my room, I found the resident dragon had taken up residence. “I heard you got to be a dragon!” he said in wonder.

“Yeah.” I had a feeling he was going to make it a thing, so I dropped the towel (making him blush, of course) and started getting dressed.

“How… how was it?” he asked, struggling to keep his eyes off my body.

“It was okay I guess. Do you want to go to Iceland with me and Reginald?”

“DO I?!” he shouted, bouncing up and down in joy.

“I don’t know, do you?”

“Yes!” he exclaimed, rushing forward to hug me. I was still almost completely naked, so I’m glad his scales were softer than mine when I was a dragon. Several long seconds after the hug became uncomfortable, he finally pulled back, though he held onto my arms. “When are we going? How long are we going to be there? What can I bring? What are we gonna do? Is the ship coming too? Can Twi—”

I finally put my hand on his face, thankfully shutting him up. “In two days. I don’t know. Nothing but yourself. We’re scouting for the elementals. The ship is not coming. Apparently the dragons are very isolationist and don’t want anyone there that isn’t a dragon, so Twilight is going to turn me into one before we go.”

He finally dropped his arms, so I let go of his face. “So it’s just gonna be us?”

“Yes. Apparently they’d know if we brought a changeling, so it’ll just be us. We might try to find a way to bring the water elementals with us. If we can, that’ll allow us to just break the fire out without even needing the rest of the ship. As a dragon, I’m a fully grown adult. You’re going to be a lot smaller, so I might need your help with scouting. But if I don’t need you for anything, you’re free to wander around and learn whatever you can about whatever you want. Make friends, talk to dragons, learn more about yourself, whatever. You’re finally going home and I want you to have some time to yourself.”

“But… I don’t want to let you down…”

“Which is why I said if I need you, I’ll let you know. But otherwise, you’re free to do whatever. I suggest you make the most of the time you have.”

“Are you sure?” he slowly asked.

“Yes. Now why were you waiting in my room? Or did you just want to ask me about being a dragon?”

“Oh yeah! Gilda and I got reservations at that meat place tomorrow night.”

“You’re growing very close to her.”

He blushed and looked away. “It’s… it’s not like that…”

“Try to remember that, Spike. Don’t let there be a gap between what you know and what you feel. You know she won’t love you back. So don’t let yourself feel any love for her. At least, not romantic love. She is a straight fuckbuddy.”

“...Right.”

“Don’t pull none of that hesitating bullshit with me, Spike.” His ear things twitched. “Either you know this or you don’t.”

“I know…”

“Look at me, Spike.” He sighed and did so. I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him slightly closer. “Repeat after me: You can’t turn a ho into a housewife.”

“What do gardening tools have to do with—” I slapped him across the face. Not very hard, but enough to get his attention. He rubbed his cheek before sighing and saying, “You can’t turn a ho into a housewife…”

“And what is Gilda?”

“A griffin?” I slapped him again. “A ho…”

“I can almost guarantee that she is not interested in love or romance, Spike. She does not want that. She is a very proud griffin noble. If she ever marries, it will probably be to another griffin. But again, I don’t think she’s into that. She is an adventurous warrior, kind of a bitch, hard to get along with at times, and is currently possessed by what might as well be a demon made of fire. You do not want to fall in love with her. So don’t.” I finally let him go. “If you want someone that isn’t a dragon, go for Applejack or Fluttershy.”

“But Fluttershy’s afraid of dragons. And Applejack has to have foals or she’ll let her family down.”

“Fluttershy’s afraid of most dragons, but not you. And that’s what Applebloom is for. Anyway, get out so I can get dressed.”

He sighed and walked around me to the door, but stopped with his claw on the handle. “You told me once that love was never wrong, Nav.”

“I was incorrect.” His shoulders slumped and he left, closing the door behind him.

Shut up, Flo. I waited for a response and that’s when I remembered that she hadn’t put herself back into me yet. That became next on my to-do list, right after getting dressed. It was still cold as balls out and it was a little nipply in the halls even with the magical heating, so I dressed for the weather.

Right after that, I went on up to the deck in search of my elemental. Thankfully, Blaze and Aerie were finally gone, punted out to wherever Celestia keeps horrifying abominations. That meant we were now docked at the palace, which we loomed over. The only elemental up on the deck was Naiad, so I went to the upper deck to check there. That deck had Gourd and Kat, who were both holding letters and talking about them.

I needed to talk to Gourd anyway, so I walked over to them. “Did you guys actually get mail?” I asked.

“We did,” Kat replied. She folded her letter up and carefully placed it into a pouch.

“We just got elevated to high society, Nav,” Gourd said. “And we’re connected directly to you. That is going to have some consequences and some benefits. You are not the only one who nobles are looking to cozy up to now.”

“Oh dude, if you ever get invited to any of those fancy parties, try the food. Shit’s amazing. Also, don’t go alone, because I tend to get in trouble when I do.”

“Noted,” he said with a nod.

“But mine was a marriage proposal anyway,” Kat said, shrugging.

“Cool. You gonna do it?”

“I am not, no. I think Watcher might be capitalizing on one of the letters he got, though.”

“...A marriage proposal?” I asked.

“An invitation to teach,” Gourd said. “He let me know where he would be in case something happened. After what you did at the mage tower here, a lot of the very powerful unicorns are interested in you. They sent a letter to Watcher asking if he would speak as a guest in a few classes. According to him, they’re going to use this chance to learn more about you. He brought Zecora as well, so she could do some research.”

“Well shit, they could just ask me. But whatever. I found out yesterday that getting into Iceland is going to be harder than we thought. I’m going to go with Reginald and Spike. The ship will stay here, along with everyone else.”

“I would like permission to go as well,” Kat said. One of her hands found its way to a dagger. “I can be very stealthy, even among the most powerful of predators.”

I shook my head. “We’re playing this one the dragon way, Kat. Gourd, there’s no reason for the ship to be idle in my absence. When I leave, get with Silver and start mapping out trade routes. Go for a few test runs. I don’t know how long I’ll be, but I imagine you’ll have time to cross the country and get back at least once. Take only who you’ll need and let the rest have some time off.”

“You got it, my lady,” he said. Thankfully he just nodded instead of bowing.

“Bring Watcher and any troops of his who know about demons. I want them researching what we can expect to find in Tartarus in every city you guys pass through. Celestia did her best to make that knowledge hard to find, but there’s always scraps she missed. Find them. I want to go into this knowing as much as we can.”

“Sounds like a good idea to me.”

“What about me?” Kat asked.

“Let’s see… At the moment, play the social game in Canterlot. Take my room in the palace if you need a place to stay. I asked Fleur to do some stuff. She and Celestia think it’s going well, but I want to know how accurate they are. I have a meeting with Fleur today. I’ll speak to her about you and some of your skills and let her know to speak to you if any nobles are giving her trouble. I don’t want you to kill anyone, but I want them to think very seriously before standing in the way.”

“Should I bring Spider?”

“Yes. Do you know anything about the Miss Equestria contest?”

“Never heard of it.”

“It’s a beauty pageant where they get ponies from all over the world to compete to see who’s the prettiest or whatever. One of the things I spoke to Fleur about was doing one for all the races. I figure it’s only fair to warn you about that before you start working with her. She might very well try to get you to be a contestant.”

Her eyes very slowly opened wider and she actually grinned. “I would love to!”

“Wait, really?”

“Yes!”

“Oh. Then yeah, feel free to speak to her about that as well. If she mentions anything about making me compete, shut her down immediately.”

“Alright. When do you want me to start doing all of this?”

“After I leave. I want what you’re doing to look like something I didn’t order. Fleur is my ally in Canterlot and I doubt it’ll trick anyone, but all the same.”

“As you command, my lady. It’s a good thing I had Rarity make me some dresses. What’s strange is that she also made one for Spider.”

“...She made him a dress?”

“Yes. And adorable pink stockings for all eight legs. I never thought I’d say it, but she made him look cute.”

“That woman has serious mental issues. Anyway, do either of you know where Flo is?”

“I can assist with that,” Naiad said. We all turned to look at her, since apparently she decided to sneak up on me. “I asked her to do something for me today. Would you care to come with me?”

“How far away is she?” I asked. “I need to meet Fleur at noon.”

“You will not be late, though we will be going off the ship.”

“Alright, whatevs. Where we going?”

“Into the palace. This should not take long.”

“Lead the way, Naiad.” Kat and Gourd both actually bowed as I left, which I thought was kinda weird and annoying.

The two royal guards standing at the entrance to the palace also bowed, and one asked, “Do you need a guide anywhere, Lady Navarone?”

“She does not,” Naiad said.

“Though I thank you for the offer,” I quickly added, trying to be somewhat more polite. They continued bowing until we were both inside. “So what did you ask Flo to do?”

“I will get to that,” she said. Despite being made of water and thus having an amorphous shape, she created arms and placed them behind her back. “Do you trust us, Navarone?”

“Us who?”

She looked at me for a moment before looking back ahead and smiling slightly. “My sisters and I.”

“No.”

Her shade went a little bit more blue. “Not even Flo?”

“There are those of you that I trust more than others.”

“Do you trust her wholly and totally, Navarone?”

“There are times I have my doubts about her. It’s difficult for me to trust anyone that old. Some of what she has done and said has not helped.”

“Would you mind telling me what some of those things were?”

Silence hit the hall for a few moments, aside from my soft footsteps. Finally, I asked, “Why?”

“You are intelligent, Navarone. Why do you think I am asking you these questions?”

“I think you want to replace Flo.”

“That is close. If, after this conversation, I believe you and Flo are properly compatible, I will drop this line of inquiry and insist that my sisters do the same. But if I believe you would be better served by another one of my sisters, or even myself, I would like you to consider it.”

I stopped in place. “Flo isn’t in the palace, is she?”

She stopped as well and turned to me. “No, she is not. But then, I never said she was. Would you continue to walk with me, Navarone?” I have a feeling this shit is going to keep happening. I might as well go ahead and get it all out of the way. I continued walking with her. “There are several water elementals that had many varied lives before the war, Navarone. Flo was a young, secluded sister who lived in the middle of this landmass. Brook was one of the rulers of all of us since she was originally created. Mist and I were like gods to huge numbers of subjects. Rain and Raine were similar. And of course, all of us knew humans personally.”

“And after the war, you and Mist were queens and Brook acted like a goddess. Do I really need a history lesson?”

She smiled warmly and placed a cool hand on my head. “Patience, Navarone. I’m giving what I am about to say context.” Thankfully, she pulled her hand back before I could threaten to smack it away. “Flo was what you might call an… ascetic, of sorts. The war just made her even more of an isolationist, especially after she was hurt and I saved her. She was not a lady of the courts. She was not… experienced, so to say, with many things other sisters are.”

“You’re saying that she’s a country bumpkin water elemental and that you would be better for me because you can tell me how to act in a fancy situation.”

“I am saying that, in the game of thrones, it is always a wise idea to have experience on your side. And as the leader of the forces arraying themselves against Chaos, it might be best if the sister guiding you was wiser. Flo is very knowledgeable after her time in your laptop, but knowing how to apply that knowledge is invaluable.”

“Everyone’s just trying to muck through life however they can, Naiad. If your only argument against Flo is that she isn’t fancy or enough of a leader, I think we’re done here. You’re gonna need bigger guns than that.”

Her color fluctuated for a moment before she eased back to blue. “There is much one such as I can tell about who you are and were, Navarone. Behaviors are very easy to read and oftentimes, they’re easy to trace. Despite surrounding yourself with people, you still prefer your own company. You’re terrified of how close your daughter is. You’re afraid of relationships. You are very wary of being hurt. All of those things combined with several more intricate details tells me that you were very likely neglected or abused as a child. I would say neglected, but Brook is thinking abused. I don’t mean to be rude, but would you mind confirming or denying either?”

“My parents were very… absent.”

She sighed and ran a hand through my hair for a moment. “Then you do not know what a truly loving mother is like. And on the flipside of that, you are not aware of what more direct abuse is like. Would you agree with those statements?”

This is starting to get a lot more personal than I’d like. “The love thing, sure. Direct abuse, a little bit less sure. There were bits of that tossed into the neglect.”

“Hm. And tell me, did you ever feel that the love of your parents was conditional? That they might stop loving you at some point if you ever acted a certain way?”

“Naiad, where are you going with this? It’s all shit that I’d much rather stay in the past.”

She paused for a moment, then gripped my shoulder and forced me to face her. “Your relationship with Flo is a very textbook case of abuse, Navarone.”

We stared at each other for some time before I quietly asked, “Did you have a follow-up for that?”

“I was expecting either a rebuttal or a denial.” She released my shoulder and we continued forward.

“I’m gonna go with a denial,” I said.

Her smile took on a very sad note. “She hurts you, she lies to you, she molests you, she lets you be hurt, she doesn’t let you make your own choices, she’s overly controlling, she uses horrible methods of persuasion, she does things to your mind without permission, and she tries to hide it all. Ask Twilight Sparkle or Sunshine Smiles how many times their elemental has laid a harmful hand on them. Aqua and Ice have never and will never harm their hosts. Each elemental has a different way of showing their love, but I’m afraid that Flo has become abusive toward you.”

“I thought elementals changed into what their hosts needed.”

“No, Nav, and you already know better than that. Flo took what she could get, which meant lying to you. She knew that the only way you would accept her is if she did not tell you the whole truth. Your relationship with Flo started as a lie, Navarone. Ideally, you would get to know an elemental before you allow yourself to be taken as a host. I heard your conversation with Fluttershy and heard about your conversation with Rainbow Dash. As you said, picking an elemental is like picking a spouse, in some ways. It must be someone with whom you are comfortable. Can you deny my claims, Navarone?”

“...No.” Try as I might to think a way around them, I really couldn’t. “But is that really all so bad?”

“Yes, Navarone. It absolutely is bad. What I see in your face when you deal with Flo is resignation more often than love. You believe that you have a responsibility to her since you freed her. You believe that you should stay with her for her benefit, not your own. You enjoy the perks of having a water elemental in you, but I believe you could come to prefer one that isn’t Flo. You want to avoid the conflict that would come from denying her.”

“Sounds like you have me nailed to the wall, Naiad.”

She softly sighed and ran her hand through my hair again. This time, she didn’t stop and continued playing with it as we walked. I didn’t say anything. “I want you to be happy, Nav. Not just as the last human, but as a host of an elemental. When one of us abuses a host, all others grow wary of trusting us. Your reaction when Brook woke you one morning attests to that. I don’t want you to think I’m forcing anything on you. I don’t think Flo will ever do anything completely unforgivable, but I believe she might need some time away from a host, to rethink things. And I believe that you would be better served by having a different sister in you. As you said yourself, you gave up much for her. Do you think it’s so unfair to ask her to give you up because of it? She is free, now. You are under no more obligation to her.”

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