Diaries of a Madman

When Discord breaks free of his stone prison, he proves to be much older and wiser than he was on the show. A being of ancient and unimaginable power, he forces Celestia to make a deal to save her little ponies. What she doesn't realize is that one of the terms of the deal is that she forgets ever making it. Enter Navarone, a poor human just trying to get by—or at least, to the ponies that's what he looks like. Pulled from his home by an accidental summoning from one Twilight Sparkle, Navarone is thrust into a world of ponies and more violence than he expected from such a peaceful seeming world. These are his adventures—with a few asides from everybody's favorite Lord of Chaos, of course.


62. Chapter Forty-Eight—Estrus

I feel like this is a survivor’s log. I’ve been tortured by a lust-filled sadist and it was easier than this. Before this event, I saw Celestia during her Estrus. It wasn’t all that bad, honestly. I even helped her one day.

Ha. One day. If what happened with Luna was anything like what Celestia was feeling, then I’m surprised she was able to only stop at one day. But then, I suppose Luna had a bit of frustration to work out. After all, she had been on the moon for a thousand years without any way of blocking her Estrus. So I suppose what happened to me was one thousand years of pent up anger, lust, and raw deprivations.

I had been given ample warning by Luna on when it was slated to begin. I don’t know how she was so sure. I guess it was just something she knew.

I arrived in the castle the morning of the day it was supposed to start. I had just woken up and Luna was about to go to bed. She just teleported me there so she could, and I quote, “Use you as soon as I need you.” That sent a yellow flag up.

Anyway, she left me and Celestia at the breakfast table. “So… what can I expect?” I asked Celestia.

She giggled. “It won’t matter. You can try to prepare for it all you want, but this just isn’t something you can really fight. There were husbands back in the day that would go on vacations when their wife went into Estrus, and no pony thought little of them for it. Luna and I have more control than most ponies, as we have lived a lot longer, but this will be Luna’s first time relieving her Estrus since she… got back. You’re in for one interesting week. I’ll try to keep her busy to give you breaks. And remember to drink plenty of fluids. Make sure she does the same.”

“So there’s nothing you can tell me about how she’ll act?”

“Not really. Well actually… I’ll come by to check on you when I can, if you can’t come to see me. She might be… reluctant… to let you leave, even if you ask her to.” That’s not a comforting thought.

“She wouldn’t actually do that, would she?”

“Normally, no. But with the way her mind will be?” She shrugged. “I honestly couldn’t say. I know I had a hard time letting the last one to help me with my estrus go.”

“That’s just because you hit me with a very strong spell to increase libido in me and the mares around me.” And I still don’t know how it affected those around me. I’m glad I can’t remember some of that week.

(Sex is coming. Ctrl+f Sex is over to skip it [have fun skipping most of the chapter])





After a day spent doing pretty much nothing but relaxing around the palace and writing, I found myself teleported directly to Luna’s room. I would have been there to greet her when she woke up, but I didn’t know when she did and I figured that would be kind of creepy.

Of course, thoughts of what was creepy and wasn’t rather quickly disappeared when I saw her room. “Is that a rack?” I asked.

“Something like that. Take your clothes off.”

I began removing stuff. “So what exactly am I in for this week?”

“Sex. A lot of it. And I will be in control this time.”

“Fair enough, since I don’t know exactly what you need. Don’t get too unreasonable and respect my limits and I’ll have no problems.”

She grinned at that. “Yes, your… ‘limits.’ I remember our talks.”

After that night with the stones, Luna and I had a lengthy discussion about what would and would not be allowed. Mainly, if I was a guy, all holes were exit only. Also prominent was that I never wanted to see those fucking stones used in sex again. Everything else, I said, was to be asked before tried. The ‘lengthy’ part of that conversation was the sex wherein she asked about several things. I think I enjoyed that part the most.

“Yes, I remember them. Maybe my sister told you something about mares in our time that went into estrus. About how their husbands—if they had one, of course—often left town when their heat started. Maybe she mentioned why they left town.” Her grin turned dark and I had time to look worried before I was slammed into the wall. “There are no limits for a mare in heat.” She changed into Nightmare Moon. “And I’ve had a long, long time to build this up.”

It was at this point that I started thinking that I fucked up. “Uh, Luna? I’m not… I don’t like this.”

“That’s a shame,” she answered. The last of my clothes were pulled off and I felt myself ponified. Guess this filthy horse shape feels more natural when she’s in heat.

“Luna, I make it a very serious point to not get romantically involved with rapists. You can continue this if you want, but note that we’re through if you do.” Sure, I fucked Kat, but there was no romance there. I also fucked Rarity and Pinkie both after their rape, but there was no romance involved in either of those either.

“Nav, I need this burning quenched! You can’t possibly understand what this feels like.” She sounded desperate now, almost remorseful. She used her magic to pull me forward and kiss me, forcing her tongue into my mouth. I felt something gently stroke my sheath, getting the tip of my stallionhood to pop out. “If you just let me remove this enchantment on you, you’ll never even remember what happened,” she finally said when she pulled back.

“Enchantment? What?”

“I’m a mare in heat. I emit pheromones. All male ponies that are nearby can smell them in the air.”

“Oh, that enchantment. I don’t like the idea of being mindless for any length of time. Can’t you just settle for fucking me and leaving all the weird shit at the door?”

I felt magic lifting me again. It set me on my back on the table and forced my legs out. “I thought about it,” she said. “I really did. And tonight, that’s just what I’ll do. I want to get you used to it, after all.”

“You never really get used to be raped. So what’s with the Nightmare Moon getup?”

She looked down at herself for some reason. I mean, when a pony looks down at itself, there really isn’t much they can see. She’d have been better off looking behind her. She looked up, blushing. “It… happens sometimes. When I’m considering something I know is wrong. I promise, if I do anything to make you uncomfortable this week, you can do whatever you want to me later.”

“Luna, there’s nothing I want to do with you that you wouldn’t also enjoy. I have no desire to ever hurt you. That’s not what people in love do to each other.” Or at least, I don’t think they do. It’s hard to know, never having been successfully in love before.

With that, she shifted back to Luna’s body. “I love you so much, Nav,” she whispered as the chains around my legs tightened down, sealing me to the rack. She walked over and nuzzled me warmly. “I don’t want to hurt you either. It’s just… I have this need inside of me! I will try to keep tame.” Her eyes flicked to the chains for a second. “Well, within reasonable limits. Now, I need you inside of me. And later we need to work on your assertiveness.”

“Assertiveness gets you only so far when the one you’re dealing with is one of the most powerful entities on the planet.” While I was saying that, she hopped up on the table and was stroking my wings with her magic. She wasted little time hitting the pleasure nodes, getting me hard very quickly. “Next time, we’re using the bed. You can tie me down if you want, but I don’t like getting fucked on a table.”

“Less talk, more bucking.” She punctuated that by lowering herself on me with a low moan. “Ooooohhh, I needed this,” she whispered as she grinded a bit. When she found a good spot, she started pumping. I wish I could do more to participate, but humping while tied to a table and in a pony body is impossible. If I was in a bed, I could do something.

So, given nothing to do, I just sat back to enjoy the ride. There was little in the way of enjoyment that I could do, though, given how fast she was going. She was constantly feeding magic into herself to replenish her energy so she could keep up an insane pace.

I was pretty close to falling asleep at the half hour mark, honestly. Sure, it felt good, but with the tree thing and with the circumcision, the only way I could really cum is if I let myself. And from the look of Luna, she was still ready to keep going for a long, long time.

At the hour mark she came for the eleventh time. I got quite a bit out of her orgasms, with the way she convulsed and squeezed me. And the noises she made were always cute enough to get me to smile.

At the hour and a half mark she came for the seventeenth time—she really got going for that last fifteen minutes. “H-h-how are y-y-you still g-g-g-g-gOOOHing?” she panted, finally reduced to grinding.

“Circumcision as a human cut off most of my feelings as a pony. The damn thing you and Celestia did to me took care of most of what I had left. I only find a release if I let myself. Or if my lover is very skilled, I can find myself surprised.” Like Celestia.

“Or… if you were a mare,” she said, pumping more magic into herself.

“Not interested. Just let me know when you’re getting close to done and I’ll start concentrating on cumming.”

“You’re going to enjoy this!” I felt magic rubbing my wings again, pushing in the sensitive spots. Then I felt her start to actually squeeze me from inside her. She began pumping, actually going slow this time. I heard a loud whistle and felt a sting against my flank as something magic slammed into it.

“What the fuck was that?”

“A… love spank?” she said, stopping for a moment.

“Yeah, don’t do that.” She sighed and started up again, slowly riding me and letting me actually feel something. After a moment I felt magic tendrils gently probe at a hole that I told her to not ever touch. “And don’t do that either!” Thankfully, the probes pulled away. I heard her grinding her teeth, though. Here’s hoping she isn’t also hormonal.

She leaned down and kissed me, still slowly riding me. She let my tongue explore her mouth, and the occasional moan told me that she was still having fun. I saw her horn glow again and felt something inside me stroked. My entire body jerked. I recognize that feel! I tried pulling away from her to tell her to stop her shit, but she didn’t let me escape. She fought to keep her place on top of me and finally thrust her tongue into my mouth as I felt my body shrinking. She continued stroking my prostate as she rode me.

At that point, I didn’t take long to reach my limit. No one would, with something like that happening to them. I felt a twitch and then I came, filling Luna and making her give off a loud moan into my mouth. She continued holding my mouth hostage until I started getting flaccid. She also continued stroking my prostate.

She pulled away with a smile until she saw the look on my face. I was pretty sure it was a mix between fear and ecstasy. “What’s wrong?”

“Never do that again,” I whispered, feeling myself shudder.

“I know it felt good! I could feel you react!”

“Twilight… she did that to me while she was infected with love poison. It terrifies me. I’d rather… I’d rather not get any release at all than get it like that!”

I jumped in surprise as I heard an insanely loud crack through the chamber. I saw both of her forehooves ground into the table, my head between them. “I WILL NOT HAVE ANOTHER THING RUINED BY ONE OF YOUR HARLOTS!” The chains around me disintegrated and I was ripped off the table and hung suspended in the air. For a second, the only sounds in the room were the drips of liquid falling from my belly and both of our deep breathing. “This is for your own good,” she finally intoned, voice expressionless.

The door slammed open and Celestia walked in, glaring at her sister. “Stop it, Luna!” she commanded.

“This is between me and him! Back off!”

“And he is terrified! Look at him!”

Luna swung her head to look at me. My eyes were about as wide as I could get them and I was straining to get away from her. People who say ‘this is for your own good’ usually intend to do something to you that isn’t at all for your own good. “Nav…” She swung back to Celestia. “You don’t understand. I need to help him!”

“I understand perfectly. Once again you are not content with what you have. You want more, rather than being happy that you have what you have. You’ve walked this road before, Luna. Do not walk it again.”

“That was different! I was being selfish, I cared for the feelings of none but my own. Now I’m trying to help him!”

“And yet he’s afraid. Terrified. You didn’t even think about his feelings. Or the feelings of his friends, those that know Navarone, not whatever you would make him. You thought only of yourself, of how to make him better for you.”

And the silence returned again. After nearly a minute, I fell a few feet to the floor and hit my tailbone with a loud crunch. “Dammit, that’s gonna leave a bruise,” I mumbled. And then I heard Luna start to sob as she sank to her knees. I sighed as I popped my neck. That done, I turned to Celestia. “Go ahead and turn me back.” Her horn lit up and I found myself growing taller. I rolled my shoulders when I was normal. “Go on back to bed. I got this.” She nodded once and teleported out. Fucking voyeur. She was probably watching the whole time. Thank God for it, too. I knelt down and wrapped Luna in my arms, rocking her gently.

Why am I still here? Luna just threatened to do… something to me. No one would judge me if I walked out that door and never looked back.

Though maybe that’s what love is.

I held her for half an hour, just weakly whispering soothing sounds, not even trying to form words. When she finally stopped crying, I heard her whisper, “Go away.”


“She was right. I don’t deserve you.”

“First, that’s not what she said. Second, we both have problems that we need to work out.” That magic control is one of them. Every time it’s used against me, I hate it more and more.

“How… how can you still even like me?”

“You were going to do something wrong, but you stopped. Doesn’t matter why.”

“I can’t… I can’t do this right now.” Her horn lit up like a firecracker and the alicorn in my arms disappeared. I sighed, standing up. I went to the bathroom and took a short shower. Seeing nothing else to do, and since I hadn’t been given a room of my own, I just laid down on her bed and let exhaustion take me.

I woke up being cradled against Luna’s chest. “If you were a human, this would be so much nicer,” I mumbled.

“I can… I can do human for you!” She sounded desperate, like she was close to tears again.

“No, no,” I said, feeling considerably more awake when I heard her tone. “I’m… where are we?”

She smiled sadly. “The moon. I… It calms me.” She pulled me in closer with her wings. “I’m so sorry…”

“And I’m sorry I got to you broken. I can’t promise anything, but I will… try to get better.”

“You have nothing to promise about! I’m the one who… the one who needs to get better. I have to learn to respect your boundaries.”

“There should be no boundaries between us. You can do whatever you want to me this week. Just… please be gentle.”

She shook her head. “No, Navarone. You gave me your trust. I refuse to abuse it. Mares… we get temperamental during estrus. We have spikes of jealousy. Be careful mentioning your… past affairs with me. During this week, at least. Later, we can discuss what they did and didn’t do for you.”

God, that’s going to be a terrible conversation. ‘So, what was your first time like?’ ‘I got raped by two friends that I trusted too much.’ ‘…’

“How about this: There are six days left in estrus. You get three, I get three. No complaints from either side. We both go slow. We both explore. If we like what we find, good. If not, we never do it again.”

She mumbled something that I assumed was assent.

“Now, how about we get off the moon?” I asked. She sighed and we teleported back down to her bedroom.

“I’m hungry,” she said after a minute of just holding me.

“Well, let’s go get food.” That’s when I saw the look on her face. She was giving me bedroom eyes. I found myself stretched out again, held down by magic.

“It’s a good thing you never put your clothes back on…” she said before taking my length in her mouth.

“Luna, you doooooon’t have to do this.” She didn’t say anything. It would have been hard to, with her mouth full.

I wasn’t trying to prolong this for her, so I felt myself nearing my peak about ten minutes in. Her tongue was doing everything it could to get me there, too. She spent a lot of time circling my head and running up and down my member, trying to coax out my lust.

She finally got what she was looking for. I gasped and forced out, “I’m about to—” She moaned deeply, vibrating against me and finally getting me to lose it. I exploded down her throat. I saw a smile as she let it all slide down.

She pulled away. “Since we’re being all honest and stuff, next time touch me some. Rub my ears. Play with my mane. Control me a bit with your hands.”

“I would have, but you were kind of holding me still with magic. You still are, actually.”

She blushed a bit and the magic holding me in place disappeared. “Let’s go get lunch, then,” she said. “When we get back we can… continue.”

And thus day one ended with more boring old—yeah right—sex. All things told, I preferred that day.


The next day, she tried to have sex with me in the shower before I explained why that would be a bad idea and no fun for anyone. Then she tried to have sex with me before we left for breakfast and I had to explain that we would miss breakfast because she sure wouldn’t stop once she got started.

So all in all, Luna was a little bit grumpy when we finally made it down to the dining hall. I knew I would probably end up regretting that.

Thankfully, Celestia didn’t bring up whatever Luna tried to do. I never asked Luna what she was going to do and I really don’t want to know. I figured I would have a harder time forgiving her if I understood what was at risk.

Less thankfully, Luna rushed us out of breakfast very quickly. I had already decided to let her have first go, since I had a plan of sorts for the last day. Of course, I had a plan for only the last day, so I still needed to come up with things to do to her. I was hoping to have time to think during whatever she had planned for me.”

She made me wait in the anteroom for ten minutes. When she finally dragged me inside with a big smile on her face, I know I was in for hell.

I looked at the device on the table. “Is that a fucking sybian?” I asked.

“How did you know? Do they have something like it where you come from?”

“Yeah. So you’re going to be strapped in that?”

I did not like her smile. I did not like her smile at all. And when she pulled out the stones, I knew I was really, really in for hell.

“That’s it, I’m throwing those things in the ocean.” My voice changed in the middle of that, when I got hit by the pink one.

“Oh, but they’re so much fun! You make such a gorgeous mare…” And with that, my clothes were pulled off and I became one.

I hate being a mare so much. It feels so different from being a stallion for some reason. Like, one change about me is bad enough. Changing my gender and my species is just hell.

But I said no complaints. I’m an idiot, apparently.

“So how exactly are you going to get off to watching me get tortured on this thing?” I asked.

“About that. Celestia decided to give me loads of work today. So you’re going to be here. Alone. On this thing.” She smiled. “And you’re going to be wearing my own special collar.”

“And what does that do, exactly?”

Her smile turned dark. “You won’t be able to find release.” I felt my ears droop. She chuckled at that. “It’ll only be for a few… oh, hours, probably. I do have a lot of paperwork. I had something else planned, but then you so thoughtfully put that stipulation out yesterday… Well, I’d have to be a fool not to use it!” I hate myself so much right now it hurts. I could feel my tail curling underneath my body. Hell, my feet even involuntarily started shuffling backwards, away from her and her evil machine. She saw that and her horn lit up, lifting me. “Now Nav, don’t be like that. It was your idea, after all.”

I sighed. “Keep it on low,” I whispered as she sat me down on the device. She strapped my legs in somehow so I couldn’t move.

“No promises.” I flinched as I felt something large and unwelcome slowly slide into me. Apparently she had lubed the machine up already. And thankfully, she didn’t have any kind of anal attachment on this thing. Then she flicked a switch and I felt something smaller and even more unwelcome prodding against my back hole. She saw my widened eyes and pulled me in a hug. “Just relax,” she whispered. I felt the thing slowly slide in, squeezing past the fear-induced clenching. “Now, it doesn’t hurt, does it?”

“Not physically,” I quietly answered. It did hurt me a bit that Luna would do this to me, knowing my aversion for it. Sure, I said anything goes, but I honestly wasn’t expecting her to do something she knew I hated.

“Good enough.” She pushed a button and I jerked as the machine started vibrating. “Magic can do all kinds of fun things,” she idly commented as she pushed more buttons. I felt something settle against my clitoris and start vibrating as well. Then the rod up my bum joined the frenzy, buzzing as well. “Oh, almost forgot the most important part!” Her horn lit up and a collar floated its way over to me and wrapped around my neck. “Now, only I can take this thing off. It’s enchanted that way on purpose.” She looked back down at her controls. “This is low.” And it was already driving me fucking crazy. She turned a dial. I gasped as the buzzing doubled. “This is medium.” She turned the dial up even more and I whimpered at the mix of pain and pleasure that assaulted me. She grinned and looked up. “And that’s where I’ll be leaving you today.”

“P-please,” I gasped. Before I could say anything else, a ball-gag fit itself around my mouth.

“You’re welcome!” she cheerily said. She leaned in and kissed me on the nose. “I’ll see you in a few hours, my love.” She trotted out the door, humming a song to herself. Or maybe that humming noise was just the buzzing in my insides that was already driving me crazy.

I tried taking a few deep breaths only to find each one punctuated by a flinch as the machine changed in frequency. I tried zoning out like I usually do only to find that my mind was too distracted by the horrifying pleasure in my nethers. I tried a campaign trick one of the slaves taught me in Egypt, but it had been too long since I used it that I couldn’t get in the zone.

I was trapped. Locked in a fucking machine. For who knows how long.

It was a terrifying thought, and when I got out I was going to ensure that it never happened again.

I don’t want to talk about the five. Fucking. Hours. That I was trapped in that thing. I don’t want to talk about the hate I felt for Luna, or the fear that I was trapped in that thing forever, or the whole ‘how did it come to this’ phase I went through for a while.

My mind hated every second of it.

And my body loved it. I’m normally quiet for reasons I’ve already established, but my body was moaning and whimpering like there was no tomorrow. I felt a burning in my entire body, an itch that needed to be scratched. I don’t know how long my wings had been outstretched, but the muscles in them were sore. My mind wanted out of this contraption, but my body wanted the collar gone. I tried pushing at it a few times, to find that I couldn’t even move it.

Luna waltzed back in with a small smile on her face. She walked right in front of me. I don’t know how long she was standing there before I was able to notice her. When she saw my eyes lock on, her horn glowed and the gag slipped down. “Well—”




She sighed. “Oh, very well.” She pressed a button and the machine stopped. I felt my entire body slump. I think there were tears in my eyes. “What’s wrong?” she asked. “Disappointed you didn’t get to cum?”

“Never again,” I whispered, my voice shaky. “Fuck this, fuck those stones, and fuck you.” She shrugged and pressed a button. The machine roared back to life and my entire body straightened. I let out a moan before I could help it.

“Oh, it seems part of you liked it.”

“Please, stop it!”

“Oh, I think you’ll have to do better than that.”

Oh God, why did I have to forgive her? I could have gone and lived a semi-normal life away from sadistic princesses, but nooooo.

I clenched my jaw shut, denying her anything.

She smirked at my defiance. “I’m feeling generous. If you eat me out and make me cum, I’ll take the collar off. Does that seem fair?” I shook my head. “Well, I could always just leave for a few more hours. I’m sure I can find something to do.” I let out an involuntary whimper at the thought of being in this thing for any longer. “What was that?”


“Please what?”

“Please let me out.”

“Oh no, you’re not going free until I have what I want. And,” she said, stroking one of my wings with her hoof, “you have what you want. Now let me hear you say it.”

“G-give me what I want.”

“And what do you want?” she whispered, leaning in closer.

“T-t-to… c-c-cum.” I don’t even want to talk about the shame I felt. At that point I just wanted to curl into a ball and never see Luna again.

She leaned in the rest of the way and kissed me for a moment before pulling back. “I’m first, of course,” she said. “I hope that tongue of yours is ready.” She lifted me from the table and set me on the floor. I moaned when the machine impacted the floor and jolted. She giggled. “Oops, how clumsy of me.” With that, she turned around and let her tail drift out of the way. I saw how wet she was. That was all I had time to see before I thrust my face in. Anything to get out of this thing.

I viciously attacked her clit, trying to get her to cum as fast as possible. She started backing up a bit, grinding into my face. I didn’t care, I was just trying to get this over with. When I didn’t get the results I wanted from her clit, I shoved my tongue inside. She giggled a bit at my desperation. With that infernal buzzing inside me, I couldn’t concentrate enough to use any real skill, so my tongue was essentially flailing around inside of her. This isn’t working. This isn’t working at all!

I took a deep breath and shoved my muzzle inside her, letting my tongue go deeper and using my entire face as a fuck-toy. She gasped and pulled away for a second only to sigh and lean back on me. With the new depth of my tongue, I was able to hit better spots. She finally came a minute after I shoved my face in, which was good because I was starting to see spots from holding my breath. I pulled out and breathed in deep, just in time for the collar to click off and for my mind to shut down at the explosion of pleasure I felt.

I think I fucking fainted for a few minutes there. When I came to, I was lying on the floor, that machine finally taken out of me. I was still a mare, though.

Luna was standing over me, smiling. “Well?” she asked.

I was still trying to catch my breath. My entire body was sore and my nethers still tingled. “I’m… done,” I gasped.

Her smile dropped. “What?”

“I’m opting out,” I said, my voice back. “I claimed that right before we started. I said if you went too far, I was done. As soon as you turn me back, I’m going home.”

“But… you said…” She started crying. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I did!”

“I thought…” She sobbed. “Oh Celestia, why?!” She lifted me into a tight hug, crying over my shoulder. “Please, give me a second chance!”

“This was your second chance!” She just hugged me tighter.

“I’m a terrible special somepony!” she sobbed. I couldn’t really deny that. I wanted to comfort her, but at the same time, I wanted to just leave. I settled for doing nothing. I don’t think I could have moved far anyway. Why is it that I’m so good at making mares cry? Or maybe it’s just Luna. She sure was going at it over my shoulder. “Please don’t leave me,” she finally wailed.

“You have that fucking sybian. Why would you even need me?”

“Because I love you! That machine can’t give me love… Please, don’t leave me here to fight this alone!”

“I gave you two chances. It’s been two days. You fucked up both times. How do I know the next time won’t be worse?”

“You said we could try anything…”

“I wasn’t expecting you to do something you knew I didn’t want to do!”

“Please don’t break up with me!”

“First, we’re not technically dating yet. Second, why would I break this off over something like this? I know you’re not in your right mind. I just can’t keep doing this. So, I’m opting out. You stay here and do whatever you want to yourself while I go home and not get raped or whatever you had planned for the other two days.” She finally pushed me away a bit, so she could look me in the eyes. Given that I was a mare with a face covered in her fluids, the effect was probably lessened.

“Tomorrow is yours. You can have the rest of the week, even! Just… just don’t leave me…”

“The problem with that is I didn’t have anything planned for two of the days I already had. I have no imagination and no real interest to try new things. I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to, but I would never initiate it myself. I was planning on just fucking you for those other two days.”

“That’s fine! That’s perfectly fine! We can even do that all week, if it means you wouldn’t leave!” I didn’t respond for a few seconds. She gulped and said, “Well… I might spice things up a little on my days…”

I sighed. “I have a few conditions on which I won’t leave. I have the power to veto anything and stop anything. You wear the ring and can’t do anything magical to me. You are welcome to experiment, but ask before you do something. If I say no, you don’t do it. When your estrus ends, we talk about my past sexcapades. I’ll tell you everything, including why I hate magic—with the caveat that you swear to do nothing with the information.”

“No magic…” She was silent for a moment. “Deal.” Her horn lit up and I felt myself shift back to a human. I was still a female, though. “So you’ll stay?” she asked as I stretched a bit.

“Yes. As long as you hold by the conditions I set down, I will stay.” She beamed and flattened me to the floor with a hug. “Watch the wings!” And the boobs… She pulled me back up with a sheepish smile.

“Your body is a lot more squishy now,” she commented, poking at one of the breasts. “What are these? I remembered them from when I was a human, but…”

I gently pushed her onto her back and spread her legs. Her smile widened. I pointed out her oddly placed nipples. For those of you that don’t know—not like anyone is reading this anyway, you fucking perverts—ponies have nipples on their lower stomachs. “These,” I said cupping a breast, “are these.” I poked one of her nipples. “Our women hold infants up so they can feed. Though I’ve seen infants here and they aren’t anything like horse foals where I come from.” I shrugged. “Just another difference. Now, where did those stones go?”

She looked a bit more uncertain now and her legs curled up a bit as she turned on her side. “Promise you won’t be mad…”

“No. Where are they?”

She looked away. “I may have… loaned them out.”


She flinched at my tone and looked back at me. “I’ll get them back in the morning! I… I had some more things planned, but…” She sighed. “I still have those old toys, if you want to… you know.”

I rolled my shoulders. “I don’t think I could take any kind of stimulation right now. What you did to me was fucking torture. Besides, isn’t it about time for your lunch?”

“I ate before I came back.” Fucking bitch. “We could just… cuddle.”

“I’m going to need a lot of water before I can do that. But yeah, it does sound nice. And it would give me a chance to recuperate.” She gave me a weak smile. I tried getting to my feet to find that my legs were too shaky from that horrible experience. “I can’t get up.”

She rolled her eyes and picked me off the floor with magic. She gently floated me over to the bed and set me down. “I’ll be right back.”

“Or you could just give me my canteen.”

She eyed my clothes. “You still carry that thing?” She shrugged and floated it over. I took it from the air and greedily drank it down. When it was empty, I tossed it back to my clothes. She shook her head at that. “So messy. That’s okay in your room, but in mine?”

“I can’t exactly move my legs. You want to bitch about it, feel free to do something about it.”

Her horn lit up again and my bag and the clothes I left strewn about it all flattened over against the wall. “You can deal with it later. Now, shall we?”

Like I really had a choice. She jumped up next to me on the bed and wrapped her legs around me, pulling me close. She giggled as my new breasts squished against her. “I think I like you like this,” she said.

“That’s nice. I don’t like me like this, and it’s my body. Who did you even lend those damn stones to?”

“Oh, just a friend. I expect she’s making her husband squeal right now.”

I really didn’t want to know that.

I sighed and just let myself mold around her.


In the morning, a visibly disturbed Shining Armor dropped the stones off. “Throw them in the ocean,” he whispered to me. “Don’t ever let Cadance get them again!”

“I feel your pain, bro. I feel your fucking pain.”

With that, I touched the proper stone and went to fucking sleep.


Day Three

“So… what do you think about anal?” I asked.

Her face just lit up. “I knew you’d change your mind! Let me go get the strap-on!”

Oh hell no! “Not what I meant! Not what I meant at all, sweet Jesus.”

She seemed to sink in a bit. “Oh… So then what… Oh! You want to… okay. Let me just go… get the lube! Yes, we must have that.” She left the room. For a moment, I thought I might have fucked up, which I honestly didn’t care that much about. Then she came back in with a large bottle of lube.

“Luna, if you don’t want to do this, we don’t have to. I just suggested it because I really don’t have anything planned until the last day.” The only plan I had at all, actually. I was hoping to have our first real semi-romantic date. Get out of the palace, find a nice place for a picnic or something.

“If… if you want to…”

“I don’t, if it will make you uncomfortable. Just put that bottle down and we’ll fuck like rabbits.”

She let out a sigh of relief and set the bottle down on a table. She looked to me with a grin. “I know you don’t much like it… but would you mind if I used my other form today? Everything feels more bestial and filling in it.”

“As long as you let me take the lead, then yes. And as long as you let me have the chance to say no if it gets to that.”

“Of course! Don’t worry about a thing, Nav. I won’t do anything you say I can’t.”

I nodded. “Then let’s begin, shall we?” With a grin that turned into a nasty smirk, she transformed into Nightmare Moon. I still couldn’t help but shudder as I beheld her evil form, but I knew that Luna was in there somewhere. And since I was in control…

Wait… I forgot how fucking tall Nightmare Moon was.

I sighed. “Guess I’m on bottom yet again.”

“That’s where you belong anyway. Now, to the bed!” Ouch, my feelings. I shrugged and hopped on the bed. I was quickly ponified, which gave me an idea for my next day: Turn her into a human and fuck her that way. I’m tired of always sexing as a pony.

She wasted no time attaching herself to me.

Look, the sex was pretty boring, all things told. I mean, it was fun, but it wasn’t something worth describing. Pretty much just her bouncing up and down on me, insulting me a few times, complimenting me a few times when Luna shone through, and me attempting to keep up but failing miserably because I’m not a mare in heat.

We took a break for lunch and were quickly back at it again.

All things told, it was fun and probably the best day.


Day Four

This is the day Luna fucked up.

“Nav, I want to try something… different today.”

“Different isn’t always good, Luna. What do you want to do?”

“I want to try an old thing called mind melding.”

“I don’t know if I like the sound of that. What is it with you and old crazy shit?”

“Nav, I was trapped on the moon for a thousand years. Forgive me for being old fashioned.”

“So what would it entail, exactly?”

“I’ve never tried it. Unicorns of old would use it to become one with each other. It was a great, safe way of trying new things.”

“I’m not so sure about that. I don’t like the idea of you being in my mind.”

“Don’t you trust me?”

“After the week I’ve had? Shit…”

“We would share control, Nav. I couldn’t do anything to you that you couldn’t stop.”

I mulled over it for a few seconds. I didn’t really want to, but I didn’t figure it could hurt. I sighed and said, “Sure. What do we need to do?”

“Just sit there and relax. I’ll do all the work.”

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly before nodding. I felt her horn touch my head and then I felt my mind collapse inward.

I felt my body look around, though I didn’t think I had any control over it. When I saw Luna, my mouth smiled. She answered it with one of her own.

“How do you feel?” she asked.

Odd, is what I wanted to answer. Instead, my body said, “Great. Better, now that I see you.” What the fuck?

I started to get a sinking feeling in my stomach. Or at least, I think I would have if I had been in control of my body anymore.

Her smile deepened and she blushed lightly. “You’re just as I imagined you would be,” she whispered.

That gave me a bit of a hint and a very large amount of terror. First, Luna said that only unicorns used to do that. Second, back when I was helping Shining Armor, when he realized that he had magic, he had complete control of my mind.

I think I just gave Luna the ability to turn me into whatever she imagined me to be—and to make me want whatever she wants me to want. It was a terrifying thought, one I didn’t want to be true.

It started okay, with her doing some odd stuff. You know, cookie dough on dick, she heated it up with magic, it constricted and she ate it off.

Then it went weird, stuff I didn’t like at all—watersports, if you’re interested. If we weren’t in our minds, I would fear that I would never get the smell out of my nose.

And then it went fucking terrifying.

“Nav, how do you feel about… blood?” By all rights, we both should have been panting after the last strange as fuck thing we did, but there was no exhaustion in here.

I wanted to shake my head and say hell no, but I felt my body smiling and say, “I’m a warrior, Luna. I love it.” That wasn’t fucking true at all.

The nervous look left her face and she grinned, raising up on her hind legs a bit and clopping her hooves together. “I knew you wouldn’t judge me! Now, how do you feel about pain?”

“After so many wounds, I’ve begun to enjoy it.” Oh God what. What kind of sick fuck does she think I am? I had long ago realized what I thought earlier about her making me what she wanted was true. My body was willing to do whatever she asked, and most of it involved demeaning me in some way.

Her grin turned dark. The meadow we had been in for all the other events turned into a small chamber with stone walls, with implements of torture hung around it. Manacles stood on one wall and a table covered in chains sat in the center.

“To the table,” she commanded. My body went, forced to do her bidding by magic most foul. My physical body was probably shaking in fear right now.

Luna chained me down. Each arm was tied down. There was a special slot on the table for my wings. I maneuvered them through and she locked them in place. My legs were tied. Then she looped one more around my stomach for good measure. I could fidget, but not escape. Not that her version of me wanted to anyway.

“You can’t technically die in here,” she told me as she looked over the walls, “but you can get kicked out. So, what does my warrior suggest I use?”

My body looked around the wall as best it could before settling on Luna with a grin I didn’t like. “Your horn.”

Long story short, blood does not make a good lube.

I woke up, screaming. Luna’s look of dreamy happiness turned to confusion. She reached a hoof out and I swatted it away, tumbling out of bed. I slammed my hands into my pockets, feverishly trying to find the ring. As soon as I found it, I put it on.

“What’s wrong?” Luna asked, trying to calm me down and taking a slow step toward me. I backed away from her, toward the door.

“Stay away from me!” I frantically pawed for the door knob, not looking away from her. When I found it, I slammed the door open and bolted the fuck away. I got out of her room and as far away as possible from her as quickly as possible.

When I couldn’t hear the sounds of her chasing me anymore, I made a straight beeline for Celestia’s room, because I did not want to see Luna at all right then. I couldn’t fly away because she could teleport me back and try to talk me into staying again, and after that, there was no way in hell I was going to be anywhere near her.

“I need to speak to Celestia,” I told the guards at her door.

“She’s asleep,” one of them answered.

“Don’t care. Need to see her. Right now.”

“You can’t. She’s sleeping.”

“You have two choices. You let me in or I force my way in. Don’t pick choice two.”

One of the guards was a unicorn and the other was a pegasus. They both smirked at that. “Make my day, dark knight,” the unicorn laughed.

He stopped laughing when I smashed my hand into the face of the pegasus. Have you ever punched a horse? It hurts like a bitch and their teeth are really hard. But their snouts are pretty sensitive, so this guy dropped hard.

I whirled on the unicorn. His look of shock lasted about a second before his face hardened and his horn started glowing. Nothing happened and the shock returned. My foot met his throat and he went down, trying and failing to breathe.

I quickly let myself in and just as quickly shut the door. I made my way to her bedroom as quietly as possible and sank to the floor. Celestia was silently slumbering away. Just being near her was good enough for me. I did my best to lean against the wall and catch what fitful and nightmare-filled sleep I could get.

I don’t know what time I woke up, but it was day out and Celestia was gone. I know she had to have noticed me there, because I was kind of out of place. I achingly got to my feet and approached the door. I saw a note taped to it and read through it: “Luna told me what happened. I suggest seeing me before going home, but I will not require you to.”

I opened the door and saw all my stuff in the next room, all packed nice and neat. I grabbed my bag and started walking to the palace exit. I wouldn’t risk flying home, so I had to take the train.

A few hours later, I was walking off the train into Ponyville and really regretting having no alcohol. I just went home, got Zecora, and had her put me to sleep for a long time.





(Sex is over)


I don’t want to talk about the week of Luna’s estrus. I gave up halfway through. I feel no shame in it at all, as she essentially tortured me. When I fled back to Ponyville, I was actually afraid to take my ring off for a while. I had to get Zecora to mix me a potion to put me to sleep so I could recover.

While I was waiting for her estrus to end, I got some thinking done. A lot of thinking about some uncomfortable topics. I came to some unhappy conclusions.

A few days after Luna’s estrus was supposed to end, I sent a letter to Celestia. Short and to the point: “We need to talk.”

She responded within ten minutes: “I’ll meet you at Fluttershy’s cottage in half an hour.”

I was still wearing my ring, so she couldn’t teleport me to her and she couldn’t pinpoint me to teleport to me. Fluttershy’s pad is outside of town and usually empty, since Fluttershy is often out and about with either her animals or her friends.

So I left the tree house and went to Fluttershy’s bush house. When I got there, I climbed up to her roof and sat up there waiting for Celestia. I didn’t figure Fluttershy was in, but I also didn’t really care.

Surprisingly, Celestia came alone. I figured she would bring guards or something. I kind of wondered how she pulled that off.

I hopped down from the roof and walked over to meet her. “How did you get out here alone?” I asked.

“I’m the princess; I do what I want. My guards were not very happy with it, but oh well. And Luna was even more distraught with you.”

“Did she tell you… what she did?”

“Yes. That is why I didn’t even try to ask you to stay. When she told me what else she did, I couldn’t help but wonder how you stayed so long.”

“Because I’m fucking stupid, I guess. I honestly don’t know. Let’s walk. I don’t want to risk freaking Fluttershy out if she comes out here.”

I started leading her into the fields surrounding Ponyville.

“I know you didn’t ask me out here just to walk with me, Nav. What’s on your mind?”

“I need your opinion on something, and some confirmations if possible. Has Luna ever been romantically involved with anyone else?”

“Back before Nightmare Moon, yes. She was always relatively chaste, though. Times were different back then.”

“How did she treat them?”

“I do not pry into her business. Again, times were different back then. I couldn’t tell you.”

“Were they arranged things, or things she found herself?”

“Arranged, most of them. She’s had other dalliances that I was not aware of, I’m sure.”

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “I don’t think Luna loves me, Celestia. I think she’s in love with a mix of my human ancestry, me being the first guy to ever really give her even attention, and because you arranged this for her. I don’t think she actually loves me.

Celestia stopped. “What do you mean?”

“I got to thinking about it after what she did. Celestia, I gave her three chances with some very simple rules. She fucked up big time. I don’t think she knows me at all. I think she’s basing her feelings of me off the notes Twilight gave her about humanity, about how we’re warlike and tough or something. I think what she wants is a subservient warrior figure that she can say she tamed and dominated.”

“And what… what led you to this conclusion?”

“What she did to me was bad. So much blood… Celestia, she took me to a place where I saw exactly what she wanted me to be. And when she saw that I was willing to do whatever, she showed me her true self. Her hidden desires. I can’t be what she wants me to be and I can’t do any of what she really wants. I actually tear up and shake in fear when I think about what she did.” I shook my head. “I can’t make it work, Celestia. She hurt me too bad this time. I know it was her estrus. I know she was out of it. But I’m actually afraid of facing her again. I’m afraid of telling her that I want nothing to do with her.”

Celestia looked quite shocked at that. “So. No more chance at a relationship with her, end of the seven years or not?”

“What would you do? She abused me too many times. I’ve been raped enough. I don’t want to be tortured by someone I thought loved me. I fear that if I stay with her, that’s what it will become. She’s had her chances and I’m not giving her any more. I don’t think she loved me. At least, not the way I thought she did. Lovers don’t do what she did.”

“And you can’t be convinced to try one more time?”

“All the one more times I’ve ever given anyone failed. I gave Luna her one more time twice. I’m not giving her another. I’m sorry, Celestia. I know it’s going to make your life hell for a month or two, but fuck her. I just wanted your advice on how to do it.”

She pawed at the ground. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Celestia do something nervous like that before. “You are still her knight.”

“Yes, I am. Depending on how she takes the news, I will remain her knight. It will probably be awkward for a while, but I can’t be with her romantically.”

“...I see your point. And yes, you might be correct. I will talk with her. I will talk with her. Tomorrow night, you will talk with her. Not wearing your ring will be a sign of trust, but I would not judge you for wearing it. For now, keep it on. Perhaps between the two of us, we can sort this out with a minimum of pain.”

“I hope so. I do not want to hurt her. I really, really don’t.” Especially since she’s a fucking psychopath that might try to get revenge. “I wouldn’t mind being her friend. I just can’t keep opening myself up like that if she’s just going to keep hurting me.”

“I understand perfectly, Nav. And I do not blame you in the slightest. I just wish… Well, wishes don’t get you anywhere. I found that out a long time ago. Is there anything else you need, before I go and try to plan out one of the more awkward conversations I will have?”

“Just one thing.” I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her. “Thank you.” I felt her head rest on my shoulder. “And you smell nice.” I let her go. “Good luck, Celestia.”

“If only I didn’t need it. Until tomorrow, Nav.” She raised her massive wings and shot into the air.

This is really going to suck.


The next night came way too quickly for my liking. I was nervous as hell all day, constantly fiddling with my ring, trying to decide if I wanted to wear it or to not wear it. I knew that Celestia would be watching, but I didn’t know if she would be able to react quickly enough to help me if Luna did overreact.

I wasn’t expecting her to try to hurt me, honestly. I mean, we were both adults. I figured she would likely get emotional, but I didn’t think she would explode. In the end, I decided to carry the ring but not wear it.

Much sooner than I wanted it to, the note came from Spike for me to take my ring off. I did, and a moment later appeared next to Celestia in that evil sitting room. “Well?” I asked.

“She’s upset. She took it about as well as I expected, all things told. You being her first real love, she’s very unhappy that she messed it up so badly.”

“When can I talk to her?”

“I told her when she woke up yesterday. She was mulling it over all last night. I let her sleep on it. When she wakes up, you will talk to her.”

“Any suggestions?”

“Don’t say anything about staying friends. Don’t say anything about what could have been. Those are like telling a girl she can see the sun but never feel its warmth. It’s perfectly fine to stay friends, if you two can manage it, but she doesn’t need to hear that right now.”

“I don’t know if she would mind not feeling the sun again. She doesn’t get out much during the day.”

“You know what I meant.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just trying to lighten the mood. This is gonna be kinda miserable.”

“Quite. Now, enough of her. I am interested in how you are taking this. After so long of not being able to feel love, you finally give one who feels it to you a chance. How are you feeling?”

I sagged a bit in the chair I was in. “I don’t like it worth a damn, Celestia. It hurts. But I think I would get hurt worse if I stayed. I’m not about to let one bad experience ruin that for me. Just because this fell through doesn’t mean everything will.” Of course, that doesn’t mean I ever remembered how to feel it in the first place.

She nodded. “I’m happy to hear you say that. I wish you luck in your future attempts, wherever you search. And as always, remember that I am here for you.”

“I think Luna would be a little pissed if I dumped her and immediately started macking on her sister.”

She blushed a bit. “That isn’t quite what I meant. Although I wouldn’t exactly be opposed… You already know how I feel about you. But you are correct. Luna would most definitely not be pleased at that.” She smirked. “Though I wouldn’t tell her if you needed a rebound lay.”

“I don’t really think that would end well. As fun as it would be, I really want to take a break from sex for a few weeks. What she did just kind of killed it for me.”

“I understand. I will leave you here for now, if you aren’t opposed. When she eats, I will tell her where you are. And if you leave your ring off, I will watch over you. I love and trust my sister, but I don’t want to take chances.”

“Awesome. You go and do your thing. I can chill here for some time. Oh, random thought: How pissed were your guards?”

“What do you mean?”

“When I slept in your room that one night. How mad were your guards?”

“They were perfectly fine. They said that you walked up, politely asked to be let in, and they let you right in. I was a little angry that they didn’t check to see if you were a changeling, but I suppose they knew you were in the palace and didn’t want to risk waking me up.”

“What saints. Well, you go on ahead and do your princess thing. I’ll be waiting here.”

She nodded and stood. “Just try to be gentle.” With that last bit of advice, she left.

“And now we play the waiting game,” I said to the empty room.

Some hours later, the door quietly slid open. Luna walked in and looked around. “Um. I guess he—”

“BOO!” I yelled as I landed on her back. She screamed and bolted into the room. A moment later, she remembered she had magic and I was ripped off her back. “Oh, I wish I had seen the look on your face,” I managed to gasp out between laughs.

“That was not funny! I could have hurt you!”

“Yeah, well.” Didn’t stop you a few days ago. “Can you set me down now?”

“Hmph.” The magic around me dropped. Thankfully, I caught myself and managed to not smack my ass on the floor. “I must say, though, that was certainly one way to change the mood. I came in here ready to cry, and now I just want to yell at you.”

“Yeah, I’m good like that. Come, have a seat. I fear we have things to discuss.”

“I really… I don’t know if I want to stay here.” She sighed. I shrugged and grabbed a chair.

“You’re welcome to stand if you want, but I was holding onto the roof for a while and my legs are sore.”

For a second I thought I could hear her teeth grinding before she let out yet another sigh. “Very well.” She claimed a couch. “So. Is this it then?”

I leaned back as much as I could with my damnable wings. “Unfortunately, yes. I’m not going to let myself continue to get abused while waiting for you to sort out issues. I trust you understand where I’m coming from.”

“Sadly, I do. And you are absolutely correct. About… a lot of things. I’m so, so sorry. But sorry doesn’t take back what I did. I will… attempt to change. Even if… even if you never give me another chance, there might be others. And I will not do to somepony else what I did to you. If you are still willing to be my knight, I want your word that you will do your best to make sure that I treat anypony I claim to love with the respect they deserve.”

“You got it, Luna. I’m chill with being your knight. We cool?”


“Is everything okay between us?”

“No. But it’s as good as it’s going to be for a little while. This hurts me quite a bit, as I’m sure it does you. But… I have experience in dealing with heartbreak. All I need is time. What of you? How is this making you feel?”

“It hurts, same as you. It’s just… I think it would hurt more staying.” She seemed to flinch a bit at that, before nodding.

“So that’s it then.”

I stood. “Yep.” I held out my hand. She eyed it for a moment before holding out a hoof. I grabbed it and shook it. “Also, these shoes you wear are really cold. Like, every time you touched me I shivered. So you might want to think about that.” I saw a small smile on her face before she turned away. “I’ll see you later, Luna. I need to get back to Ponyville.”

“Of course, Nav.”

I left her there in that sitting room. I don’t know how long she sat there. I just jumped out the next window and flew back home.

All things told, that could have been a lot worse.



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