Through My Eyes || Niall Horan

Life can wear on us. Joys can brighten us. Disaster can fall on us. Events can fall on us. Events can enliven us. There are so many events that can come out way and we need to let our soul and mind shine through.

You need to ensure: Your soul is aligned with our outward expressions. Your mind is aligned with our interactions. Your inner self is articulated and connected to our external community. Your eyes translate what is inside of you. What are they saying?

Follow Charlotte recount her adventures with her late husband Niall Horan through the eyes of someone who has been through it all.


2. Chapter 2

Do you remember when you were fifteen wishing that you could just turn eighteen to get out of the house, go to college and start living your life? Do you remember having every single adult telling you that life goes quickly and to cherish your life? Well if you don't remember those sayings, here it is. Life flashes by in the blink of an eye. One moment you are a child unaware of the dangers of the world playing kickball with the kids in the neighborhood. Then you become a teenager ad fall in and out of love nearly every other month. You then become an adult tasked with finding a big girl job and finding a life partner who will love you through the soaring highs and the crushing lows. And just when you think you have it all figured out that is exactly when life takes that hammer and ruins you one more time.

I never truly understood, until the day he died, how crucial moments I have with the ones that I love are. It never occurred to me that one day those moments would actually have to end. At one point you are kissing that guy for the first time and electricity shoots through your body, you know. The next moment you are putting to rest that same boy, electricity shooting through you just the same but it felt quite different. You never actually understand that life comes to an end and it ends crushing you, suffocating you.

My husband was one for the books, literally. He could do anything he set his mind to. If he wanted to learn a new instrument he learned it and played with a passion that lit a fire within your body. If he wanted to go surfing he would go to an ocean and learn how to surf, even if it took days. If he wanted to build a bookcase he would. If he wanted to replace the faulty plumbing he would do it and do it with pride. He was the kind of man who took your breath away when you watched him work. He never did anything half way and this was evident in the way his fruitful life played out. He was always so happy and full of life, an infectious smile that never failed to cheer you up. I never really understood why the world had to take him from us but it was far too soon.

My heart ached for this man and the many memories we captured throughout our lifetime. From the first time I looked at him at a charity event to the time I met his family for the first time. From the moment he proposed to me to the moment we gave birth to the first of our three children. From the moment we sent our youngest off to college to the revival tour he went on. From the moment we learned about his cancer to the moment he took his last breath. II try and remember him as best as I could but with every passing day it gets harder to remember him exactly, his scent diminishes throughout the house. There is nothing more that I could wish for than to curl up next to him and talk about life and how great ours was.

I never knew how cruel time could be. We always seem to wish that time would just speed for some reason or another. If there was one thing I regretted in my life it was that I didn't live every second of my life in the moment that I was in. Even through the worst times with him I would relive them for the rest of my life if it meant that I could be near him again. My Niall was quite the man and you get to hear a little bit about our life.


"Grandma," my eldest granddaughter Ella who just turned fourteen paused and looked at me curiously, "you always have this song playing." She cocked her head and waited for an explanation.

I smiled real big into her beaming blue eyes she got those eyes from my Niall, "You're quite right El. It's your grandpa's and I song."

She looked down and started messing with her fingers. "Do you miss him? Because I do. I can't imagine what you're going through." She spoke softly to me as she looked back up at me.

I walked over and sat down next to Ella and nodded my head, my smile fading. "Ella, I miss him every day. I miss him every second of everyday. But that doesn't mean I am not perfectly happy to be here with my beautiful babies and grandbabies." I reassured her and ran my fingers through her knotted hair.

She smiled at me, another attribute that she seemed to take from Niall, "What's this song called gram? It's beautiful."

My eyes started to well up thinking about the song that took me back fifty-six years to the moment I laid my eyes on him, "It's called Photograph by Ed Sheeran. Have you heard of him?" I closed my eyes.

"We learned about him briefly in class, I haven't heard much of his music though. Why does it make you think about grandpa?" Questioning again.

I let the tears slip out this time and took a deep breath. "This is the song that was playing when I met him, we danced to it." I looked back at Ella who was smiling from ear to ear.

"That's one of the sweetest things I've ever heard of in my life."

I nodded my head and wiped the few tears from myself. "Brace yourself kid. Why don't you run upstairs into the guest bedroom and grab all the pictures in the top drawer of the desk. Bring them back down here and I can tell you all my Niall."

She didn't even bat an eye before she rushed up the stairs and back down them carrying envelopes of pictures from decades together. She placed the envelopes in chronological order across the table. There were fifty-six envelopes placed on the table each with the year scribbled on the front.

She looked at them confused and waited for me to give her an explanation of what was contained within the envelopes.

I looked over at Ella and smiled, "I picked my favorite pictures from each year we spent together and placed them in each envelope for that year. I haven't looked at the pictures since that year. I promised myself that I would go back to them eventually and right now seems like the time to open them back up" Tears haphazardly fell down my flushed wrinkled cheeks.

Ella put her arm around my shoulders and squeezed, "Grandma, I can only hope and dream to find a love that you guys shared together through all of these years."

I nodded my head, "Me too Ella. Everyone deserves an unconditional love with your best friend." I composed myself and reached for the first envelope labeled 2014.

"Wow," Ella whispered, "That was a long time ago."

"Oh it was quite a long time ago. Fifty-six years ago and I was just twenty-one years old." I started chuckling and carefully opened the sealed envelope that contained just a few pictures that I hadn't seen since 2014.

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