The Brain


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1. The Brain

A hundred billion neurons

Crammed into the brain

Activating, deactivating

Controlling every single

Thing you do.

Those basic functions you need to live

All thanks to the brain

But then there is the fear and memories, the things that

Taunt us.

 

It begins to consume you

Thank your

Amygdala for that, you know that part that controls fear?

Fight or flight response?

You all heard of that one.

 

A puppet dancing with your demons

You feel it eating at you, leaving a hollowness inside you

You feel the world judging you

Everything you do is wrong

Why can’t you be better?

 

It’s the brains fault,

Not enough serotonin being produced they say

Some chemical imbalance

Take these meds, talk to this person

Shut up.

 

Fear can be so paralyzing, you question everything

Even when people seem to like you.

It’s so hard not to stutter, not to hide.

You’re being consumed.

Being sucked into some sort of black hole of despair.

 

Maybe if the nightmares could dissipate

Your emotions wouldn’t be so conflicting

The fear wouldn’t be so unspeakable, but

The hippocampus is that lovely area of the brain

That holds onto every single memory and makes you recall everything.

Tears stain your face red, your eyes edematous, your guard up

 

Don’t you find it interesting

That something that’s supposed

To be so powerful

And help you in so many ways

Can be your undoing?

 

You can barely recognize yourself

You see a reflection and fucking hate yourself

Worthless.

Failure.

Nobody.

 

You wish to just fix the imbalance.

Inject more chemicals into your synapses

Those gaps between each neuron

Not feel like such a piece of shit

 

Isn’t it funny that you can seem so happy

That you almost believe that you are.

But then all of a sudden you breakdown

Why is that?

 

You feel so alone

Your tear ducts are empty

You will do anything to feel that high

That high of being ordinary

Happy, dancing, joking

Isn’t that peculiar?

 

Others will not be able to witness your pain.

You suffer alone

You can cry out for help

Just like the boy who cried wolf

Receive the same crappy advice

Tell you oh it could be worse

Well duh.

 

Every single electric pulse

Of one of those tiny little neurons

Is another dark thought in your mind

But you’re not the only one.

 

When you break free of this nightmare and grow your own wings

Exiting the shadows that have been consuming your essence,

You will finally find yourself,

Become someone new,

yet never forget the past.

 

Everything is one full circle

Darkness to light to darkness to light

Never give up the fight.

 

 

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