Poetry Contest


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3. 12am Thoughts

Have you ever wanted to hug someone for the rest of your life?

 

You want to feel safe in their arms, and you want to feel like everything is okay.

 

You want to say that "I love you" and "thank you for everything.

 

Thank you for helping me during my darkest days. thank you for being alive and just being yourself, being real.

Thank you for being there for someone you don't even know. thank you for being there for me all the time."

 

Do you ever look at photos of fans meeting them and immediately just feel sad inside?

Don't you ever read tweets or captions that say "I hate someone but I always get connections to meet them." And feel mad?

Don't you just want to be friends with them? 

Do you ever just start crying in the middle of the night and just wish that they would come into your room and calm you down? 

 

Sometimes reality sucks.

Sometimes people just don't have enough money.

Sometimes people just don't think that you deserve to meet them.

 

That is exactly how I feel 99% of the time.

And well, it fucking sucks.

I just wish the world could be fair for once, but no.

I'm sitting here with at least one thing wrong with me.

Maybe my back is hurting me, I feel depressed, I feel nauseous, I feel itchy, I have a stuffy nose.

 

Sometimes I wish that I could just say "fuck you" to my life and maybe it will actually do something nice to me.

 

So life, why don't you do something nice for me every once in a while?

 

Oh, I see your too busy, I get it ya know I can be busy too but I do something nice.

 

Honestly, life I hate you sometimes.

 

If you were a person I would bully you every single day.

But,

nothing would change,

I would still have all these shitty problems and have to deal with it.

Life, I might seem all happy, but you guessed wrong.

I wear a fucking mask all day long until it's 10 or 11 pm.

Then, its just normal Isabelle, all depressed and shit.

Waiting for a miracle to happen.

And well sometimes reality likes to slap me and pay me a visit.

He tells me that you won't meet them. then I say "fuck off" but he never leaves.

His 4 simple words stick to me like glue.

It's like a tattoo, the words are on my body, forever.

All I want to do is say 5 words, "I love you." and "thank you."

 

And then your still sitting here in your bedroom looking through those photos, and just daydreaming.

Analyzing and perfecting on what you would say.

But then,

reality comes back to you and slaps you extra hard. with the words, "you won't meet them."

It disgusts you how easily the words roll off his tongue.

How he sounds like he doesn't give a fuck.

Then he disappears, going off to someone else to ruin their day.

You look down at your body, see the tattooed words over and over again.

But your mind won't believe it, even if you tell yourself it again and again.

 

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