RANTS

THIS WILL HAVE SWEARING IN IT!!!! POSSIBLE TRIGGERS???? It's going to be confusing. Yes, I'm weird, and probably crazy. Enjoy, and for those that might be in it that I'm ranting about; I WON'T mention your name, but I may make up a name or may not. I don't know.

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5. I don't know.

I just LOVE the fact that I talked to her, and she said that you didn't remember me. I LOVE how, she said not to contact you but I did beforehand weeks before even talking to her. I LOVE how her posts are so cute and you look SO HAPPY!! JUST like that stupid song, that has become my life. I DON'T love you. I JUST want to know why and when it really first started. Why you couldn't have just stood up like a man, and said, "Hey, I feel like things aren't going to work out. I just don't feel the same anymore. I'm sorry but I can't handle the distance." Yeah, I would've fought for you. Like any EX would've, but you couldn't even do that. She asked me what your last name was, and I said that you never told me; because you DIDN'T. She asked me how old you were, when we met, how long we dated. If we ever met in person. It's like she knew what questions to ask so that she'd win. But she did and I understand, I'd ask the same of her. But then what surprised me was that she wanted to become FRIENDS?!!?? I said "I guess?" She said, "Okay" I asked why and I don't remember what she said. It was something like, "You seem nice" Or something. 

 

She wasn't even concerned and when I questioned her about that, she said. "Because Luke is mine" She also said they're engaged? But he's only 17 although he may be 18 now. Even so, like I don't know, from what social media says, they've been dating as long as we were. I love how much you lied to me. I love that you only now blocked me from Instagram; I'm pretty sure. I love how you broke me so much to the point that I wished my demise be permanent. I love it. -.- I love that I don't feel anything because of LIFE. Family, mental "health", ya know. 

 

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I'm basically getting a phsyc evaluation done just because my grades are low. Like really low, but yeah a therapist is gonna come in and ask about everything and all that to see what's going on. Soo basically an eval. I already know what I have but I don't know how much I can or should say about my family. She'll see my file. And see what happened last year at the end of the year. Which, I DON'T want to talk about. I don't care if it's more then likely going to be a woman therapist. I'd rather learn about her job then actually answer the questions. I don't know if I'm being paranoid, but today my guidence councilor asked what I wanted to be. I said therapist and she asked why. I just said that I like learning peoples' backgrounds which is basically in the grand scheme of things, true. But I just felt that she was looking for something beyond that because of what I said earlier. About stress. But what am I supposed to say? I had my two chances of saying something. And I didn't because of things. Besides. They wouldn't have been able to do anything when everything was in the past. And something else. There's no point. I'm tired of everything.

 

~Anna 12-21-16 7:34pm Wednesday

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