How to Date an Android

Guns. Action. *Romance*. *SCI-FI*, Androids, Android Romance, and more in a dystopian Earth where all kinds of mayhem take place.

This is a slow build life sim in the midst of society being flushed down the toilet. Romance and survival are part of the basis for the story. (Mature themes, you have been warned.)

Will Jack make in time? Will he recover from his near crippling injury before things become complete anarchy? And what factions are safe if he joins others? Is anywhere safe?

While working as mechanic he lives alone, works alone, trying to build a life in the midst of hardship and poverty where society has been squeezed for almost every drop in the bucket. But the Corporations have gotten too greedy, and someone has to put a stop to them. Riots, unrest, and fighting break out in the streets on a weekly basis in most states with passersby becoming the victims of the choices of the people as a whole.

Previous chapters can be found on Royal Road under same names.


1. How to Date an Android Chapter 52

How to Date an Android Chapter 52




“Hello, I’m Sarah and I’m an alcoholic,” Sarah said as we sat in our circle. She then belched carbon dioxide like crazy while holding the silver aluminum soda pop can in her hand.

“Hello Sarah,” Craig said right after in monotone.

“Knock it off you guys. That’s not funny,” Craig’s mom said. She’s scowling at both of them.

The others all laughed, except Craig’s mom, me, and Ruth. Ruth probably doesn’t understand it. I just don’t think it’s funny either, because I’m trying to buy time with settling down the humans to go check on Barbara again. We have a lot of work to do. Plus there’s the fact that because this is mostly my stuff and my house I need to get them ordered and settled so that they don’t go up to my room and intrude on Barbara time and discover her.

I can’t help but keep watching the clock. It’s also still in the early evening and just gotten dark outside.

Ruth notices I’m edgy and probably can guess what I’m thinking. It’s no secret that they both know I’d prefer being with hot android girls alone right now.

In my mind I keep worrying about how the hell I’m supposed to keep all these people fed too.

“Cut that shit out, this is serious!” Craig is drinking a coke. He then belched too. Then they are laughing again. They’re like kids in a way. We’ve got all the windows covered while in a circle and there’s two lit candles in the center of the room while we’re all just chatting.

“Gosh that’s so good. Why does it feel so good to burp after drinking soda anyway?” he added.

“I don’t know but it’s like a good feeling and stuff. We AA people love it,” Sarah joked again.

They are all drinking coke. I’ve let them have two now, which have been in the fridge for a good amount of time. It’s part of rewarding them for raiding other houses for food. If I can get them used to showing courage a little bit at a time we’ll in the end bring in more food.

“Damn, this stuff is cold. I never thought I’d ever have a cold coke again in my life!” Craig said.

“I can’t believe we found all that cool stuff,” Aubrey said.

She’s referring to the boxes of food loot that are in the middle of the circle of them while they all examine the canned goods almost like looking at baseball cards.

“Mom! Pork and beans! I never thought I’d be so happy to see one of these!” Ty said excitedly. The others laughed.

“Enjoy it now while it lasts,” Craig’s mom said.

They’re mood is pretty light because that house two doors down was full of stuff to eat since it was old people that were hoarders living in it. I don’t understand how someone can have cases and cases of canned coke in pallets under their bed but they can. But they’d not noticed that much coke until they’d gone back for the stuff they missed after we thought it was safe to do so.

But I think I’ll probably get tired of macaroni and cheese after a while. I mean seriously? Who has their main staple foods as mac and cheese with no variation filling all their cupboards. And there was a lot of dust on the macaroni and cheese boxes too so some of them have aged. Because it’s our most plentiful resource we’re using those first.

At least it’s not ramen noodles; that stuff is so awful on your body. They really took a turn when a pharmaceutical company and a food processing company teamed up to make a legal way of making edible cardboard a few years ago.

“So how is this going to work out now? How are we supposed to live?” Aubrey suddenly said.

Everyone stopped smiling mostly; they’d been sort of in a good mood at Sarah’s making fun of our round table discussion as being shaped just like an AA meeting setup. In a way it kind of was…they were all weirdoes I didn’t know, and they all had problems, and probably weren’t trustworthy.

“We’ll do our best honey,” Aubrey and Craig’s mom said quickly. The others nodded. Then they looked at me.

What are they expecting me to say something?!

I looked at Ruth in return. She just shrugged and gave me a look like, ‘don’t pin this on me’.

“But what are the rules here?” Aubrey asked, and looked at me.

Sandra, I found out is the name of Aubrey and Craig’s mom. She sort of sighed, and I knew she was avoiding the question. She wouldn’t look me in the eye. I think she and Aubrey were afraid of being in a man’s house that they didn’t know. I can’t blame them for that in a world like this. It was a valid concern in a way but I wasn’t a creep so it still bothered me being compared to one, because everyone else was.

“We haven’t had any problems yet,” Sarah said.

“Well there was the Steve incident but that doesn’t count,” Craig said.

“I agree that Steve was unworthy of being with us,” Ruth said.

Saying it like that was a bit weird because she’s hot and pretty the others don’t mind it somehow.

“Why did you have to bring that up? I can’t believe you brought that up here!” Sarah hissed. She crunched her soda can after burping again. Then she hit Craig, although she couldn’t exactly put much strength into it.

“You are avoiding the question,” Ruth said. I’m surprised Ruth is interested in what the humans think but she is. I also noticed she’s studying how Aubrey and Sandra act. She’s trying to see how human females typically act but that also means I’ll have to pull her aside later on to make sure she knows that this isn’t how most females act, though to be fair Aubrey is pretty well behaved in comparison but just sometimes too quiet.

“So Jack, I um…don’t know you well but I’d like to shake your hand formally for saving us,” Sandra said. Sandra looked a bit older than me. Maybe mid thirties, but she sort of carried it like she was fighting against the world, neither really beautiful nor ugly, and sort of in between with a sort of chapped look of someone grinding away on little sleep. In character, she seems pleasant but a bit guarded somehow.

I got up from my chair in the circle and went to shake her hand. But she tried to hug me instead. I wasn’t ready for it. I was surprised when her arms latched around me tightly. Then she finally let go when Ruth noticed it was going on too long.

“Um…that’s fine. You don’t need to hug him,” Ruth said too quickly. She also said it while Aubrey was getting up to hug me too.

Hugs aren’t bad but…this was awkward. I wasn’t really into Sandra anyway.

Aubrey was pretty though…and underage for a couple more months until she turns 18, I think?

That bothered me in a lot of ways. Being pretty put her really fast on the Ruth alert, and underage didn’t help because it sucked to have jailbait around. So far everywhere we went in the house, I noticed Ruth wouldn’t let me stay alone with Aubrey, which I was totally OK with. And Aubrey was looking at me a lot partly because Sarah had this subliminal claim on Craig already…and Ty didn’t even understand girls yet since he was still elementary school age. Plus Ty and Craig were her brothers with no other adult males around.

“So Jack, Craig said this is your house?” Sandra asked.

“Yeah, Jack’s house. I’m his wife by the way,” Ruth said with a smile that was as good as she could make it and shook Sandra’s hand. Both Sandra and Aubrey both frowned a bit hearing that, but I suspect they probably had already guessed it since Ruth was by me the whole time. Both Sandra and Aubrey are having a hard time covering up their dismay that Ruth claimed me.

“I see.” Aubrey said.

“Have you two lived here long?” Sandra asked.

“I’ve been here for years actually. It’s zoned for both commercial and residential. As you can guess from the shop I fix up cars and stuff,” I said.

“Oh how nice. That explains why you were able to get the solar panels up,” Sandra noted.

“Solar panels huh? So that means you have electricity? But why are we using candles again?” Aubrey asked.

“There’s a very fine load we can use for the solar panels. Nothing beyond that, and we have to ration the electricity. The priority is once again for charging up the vehicles, the fridge, and essentials only. So I’d like us to use candles at night in the house,” I said..

“Well…that’s fine with me but you know Ty likes to play with matches,” Aubrey looked at Ty.

“Oh right. I forgot about that,” Sandra said.

“What? I haven’t done anything?!” Ty defended himself.

“To be fair most kids play with matches at that age,” Sarah said.

“They do?” Ruth is surprised.

“I don’t think so. That’s like saying all adults drink alcohol and do drugs. It shouldn’t be expected,” I said defensively. The last thing I want is for Ruth to think its normal to do weird stuff.

“Well we’ll need to be careful. The candles if by uncovered windows could attract zombies,” Ruth restated.

“So just be careful. We can’t use the electricity for everything. If we use it for things we don’t need then we won’t be able to do stuff like cook food, and keep food in the fridge. Food preservation is how we’re going to get through the winter,” I said to get us back on topic.

“Got it,” Ty said. Of course the others are regarding him carefully and he’s blushing while he sips his coke.

“So how long have you been together again?” Aubrey asked looking at me pointedly.

“We’re just married, like this week actually,” Ruth said.

We are? Uhm…what is she doing? I don’t know what to say. Barbara looks just like her…so if I object I might be cancelling the view of Barbara being with me too. That would mean the boys here would be flirting with both Barbara and Ruth…

Do I portray Ruth and Barbara as the same person to them or as two people? They could pass if they had the same clothes too right? So how do I…

I’m scratching my head. Because I didn’t know I’d have extra people here before now I hadn’t had to think about this. Ahh…I’m not good at lying and deception too, so that’s why it’s hard to decide something like this.

Oh…Barbara’s boobs are humongous too so they might notice its two people. Although Ruth’s are also big, they aren’t even close to Barbara’s size. But apart from that there’s also a feel like how sophisticated and smooth Barbara is in how she deals with people. Ruth is more like…’wanna die bitch’ in how she looks at humans with a serious look.

Maybe portraying them as the same person won’t work?

So what do I do?

…What do I say? I can’t just create a story.

Oh right…when the girl claims her man in front of others, he has to look tough and confident so they don’t think they can push him around or push him out of the way.

“Oh wow, what a weird way to have a honeymoon,” Sandra noted bringing my thoughts back to the group of them.

Come on hurry and go to bed people so I can talk to Barbara. I’d let her rest a bit longer upstairs earlier.

“Yeah, Jack and I are deeply in love. I love being with him more than anything. We’re lucky to have each other,” Ruth said. She put her hand on my knee. She still has a weird look on her face. It’s too admiring in a way.

Craig and Ty look a bit jealous now. They obviously see Ruth as some sort of gang leader now.

Things could be worse. Hell I’m lucky someone likes me.

I hope she can fake this with a good story though. Will an android even be able to come up with a story that a human would think makes sense? That’s where I’m sweating bullets from. I mean…you can’t create a story from nothing.

“That explains why none of the mail had Ruth’s name on it,” Craig said.

“You were looking at my mail?” I asked.

“Um…accidentally. I saw all the magazines all have your name on it. I didn’t mean to notice. Sorry,” Craig’s face turned red.

Hmm should I create an evidence trail that Ruth and Barbara could use to solidify their identity?

“So um how did you two meet?” Sandra asked. She looks relieved and like suddenly interested.

Crap women love that gossipy stuff.

Ruth was about to say something but I sort of wanted to cut her off.

“Well actually we were hoping to address the living situations first. Everything has been really crazy right now,” I said.

“That’s true. I didn’t think of that. I’m sorry, I hope I wasn’t rude,” Sandra said.

“No you’re fine it’s just that this …seems like a fragile situation. We’re more worried about food production and food preservation techniques right now,” Ruth hurriedly said.

“Yeah, it’s like where do we live too? We’re now homeless,” Aubrey toned in. She was like ready to cry it seemed.

“You aren’t homeless. It’ll work out. Jack can fix it. He can fix anything,” Ruth said.

Ahh, that’s a high pedestal to be put on.

“Thanks for taking us in. I mean it would be pretty awful out there,” Craig said again. He’s looking at Ruth, which is unsettling to me.

“It’s weird to not have a home,” Ty’s face was scrunched up.

Jeez…this is so awkward…Ruth attracts Craig, Aubrey is attracted to me, and…Ruth and Barbara are like twins. Is this a love triangle of epic proportions? It’s super complicated too. I’m pretty sure Ty was staring at Sarah too.

“So can you help us?” Sandra ventured to ask. She’s a single mom so she has to. I don’t know much beyond that, but Craig’s dad hasn’t been around for awhile.

…awkward silence.

I’m worried I’ll regret this. I still haven’t worked out how we’ll do all the food production and stuff.

Sandra and Craig with Ty are all looking at Ruth. Because she’s so beautiful I think they somehow thought that she might come to bat for them or feel sorry for them but she looks impassive.

“What?” she said.

“Please,” they said.

“I support your decision Jack. It’s up to you,” Ruth said. She looked to me. Then she gave them a stern look.

They flinched. It’s good it didn’t go as planned.

“I’ll have to put you all to work and everyone helps out and follows my instructions. It’s not going to be easy even in the most ideal conditions. I don’t know if it’s even possible to help you guys right now,” I said.

“Please…” Sandra and Aubrey are giving me pleading looks.

I think they would have tried more than that if Ruth weren’t present.

“We can do stuff. We have skills,” Aubrey said.

“Craig’s taken wood shop in school a few times. He’s responsible, and works hard,” Sandra said.

Craig is actually my worry. With no other men but me and Craig it’s obvious that Sarah will latch onto Craig. And when she does, she will no doubt be pregnant soon. The last thing on their mind is going to be finding birth control.

“It’s up to Jack. Jack’s house, Jack’s rules,” Ruth said with finality.

“So you know our biggest obstacle is lack of guns and stuff for protection,” I openly said.

“So we raid the mall or something,” Craig said.

“Mall’s a no go,” Ruth said coldly and with some force.

“What?” Craig is surprised.

“Why? I want some new clothes too,” Sarah said.

“No for the mall,” Ruth restated.

“But there are all kinds of stuff there. With no people the mall is like a treasure trove. Craig and I want to get supplies there, clothes and jewelry for me too. He promised me,” Sarah said.

I shook my head.

Already having trouble in Dodge City; this is why I was reluctant to take anyone in. They think you can do everything based on popular opinion and that nothing evil is out there lurking to nab them. Because her values were already on materialistic stuff Sarah had already gone ahead and got Craig in on her plan. They’d probably made plans ahead of time before the group did and that creates situations like this.

The mall was a death trap. It would be the place with the most zombies apart from the schools. And even if there weren’t zombies there would be a lot of other scavengers there. And with everyone knowing that food is like gold there would be fights and killings over stuff like canned food.

“I wouldn’t mind a trip to the mall,” Sandra looked at me hopefully. And so did Aubrey.

“No mall trip,” I said.

“Why not?!” Sarah accidentally raised her voice.

Sandra flashed an angry look at me but softened up to hide it I think. She didn’t say anything.

“No mall trip. That’s final,” Ruth again said firmly.

“You can’t tell us what to do,” Sarah said.

Oh great. That’s the first thing you watch for someone to say. Looks like Sarah is still a problem child.

“Let me explain it clearly to you. The places that will be the most dangerous to be in are places where populations concentrate themselves before the rule of law collapsed. That means danger from epic level zombie swarms and conflict with other survivors to control. That will be places like malls, stores, grocery stores especially will have people shooting each other in broad daylight, and anything like airports, high rises, apartment buildings, and schools will be death traps. We need to avoid those places first while the zombie populations are culled,” Ruth said.

It took a second for that to sink in.

“But in like comics and stuff people always go to the mall first,” Sarah said.

“EH?! You read comics too?” Craig looked too happy and tried to give Sarah a hug.

She slapped him by accident because of her elbow sticking out and being uncoordinated plus not wanting Craig to latch onto her. Yeah, she’s like a cactus…except I don’t know if there’s anything sweet on the inside either.

“In stories survivors would go to malls and grocery stores but that’s unrealistic. People would fight over goods and resources to the death,” Ruth said.

“How do you know?” Sandra accidentally asked.

“It’s well known. Like hurricane Michael-Zeta like 40 years ago…when they evacuated before it hit the eastern coast grocery stores were completely empty before it even hit because people knew they might know when they’d next be able to have food,” Ruth said.

I’m secretly glad Ruth has researched this stuff for me.

I wouldn’t have thought of that myself.

“So we’re sitting ducks and can’t buy food?” Craig voiced his concern.

“Pretty much. Money will likely be worthless because people will mostly prioritize bartering, particularly for weapons and ammunition,” Ruth answered back.

“They aren’t sitting ducks. There are a lot of ways to live and make things livable,” I said.

“I don’t know. Seems like only you will have electricity Jack,” Aubrey said with a weird look. It sounded like something like grumpy Sarah would say.

Everyone is staring at me.

This isn’t good. Does it mean if things go bad they will target me?

I could feel the mood shift quite quickly. It had darkened. And all of them were suddenly very jealous of me having probably the only house in the state that still had electricity because of the solar set up. I’m sure there were plenty with generators but most generators had a very tight limit on how much fuel they had…and people didn’t usually think of putting up solar panels.

This suddenly worried me.

They might get so desperate that they’d do anything for my solar setup even though it was very limited to only a few things.

I think I started to sweat bullets.

I hadn’t even gotten to tell them about food rationing yet. They were going to love me…to death.

Why was I helping them? I …was a human too. But I think partly why I was attracted to androids was because humans are so awful to each other. We always make rules to exclude each other and then wonder why the other party becomes so desperate they have to commit horrible crimes just to live.

Ruth noticed it I think because she spoke up suddenly. She’s standing up to get their attention. “Jack has all the electricity usage on doing the most good for the group. So I wouldn’t worry too much.”

Reluctantly they nodded.

I still am sweating bullets.

“For now I want you guys to alternate keeping watch. We need to stand guard all night; we don’t know what will happen. I’m afraid you are probably going to see a lot of crazy shit now that humans now longer have a government. My biggest concern is human traffic in the short term, but if there are a lot of other survivors nearby when the food shortages hit, people will do anything for food. We have to have rules against contacting other humans. Don’t be seen by anyone and don’t try to contact anyone,” I said.

But somehow I was sure one of them would break the rules.

Hell, the fact they’d almost found Barbara by breaking into my room proved things were precarious.  And while talking to them just now I’m also confused because there weren’t any subtle hints or anything that showed one of them might have been the one that tried to sneak into Barbara’s and my room.

I ended up going to my room shortly after. Ruth is nervous about keeping an eye on the others too but unsure if she can keep up playing human for too long so she’s followed me up.

I need a microphone and listening device. That would be cool right? It wouldn’t be hard to get Barbara to help me figure out how to make one I think? I can’t resist the urge to want to spy on the humans down stairs. Which one of them broke in? And is Sarah still bat shit crazy? And what else have I not discovered about them too? And how do I foresee if they are going to decide to take me out to steal my house and stuff?

Let’s not forget that they are afraid for their lives and how that makes people act strangely in even the best of times. Hell I’ve got a bunch of scared humans downstairs and I’m supposed to not keep an eye on them.

Ruth also can’t carry me up the stairs since it would totally weird out the survivors that would see it. It takes more time but then I locked the bedroom door behind us. I don’t want them to see my weakened physical condition either.

Finally we get to my room upstairs. I’m still keeping the other humans downstairs.

My heart flutters a bit. Now I will finally get to talk to Barbara.

“Keep guard and block the bedroom door tonight Ruth, please. Stay quiet too and keep a lookout if you can from inside the room,” I said with pleading eyes.

“Got it. I’ll do it Jack,” she said.

She’s in front of my door. She then picked up my dresser like it was nothing and then moves it over to the door. That’s no easy feat. It was a dresser my dad made in wood shop so it’s heavy as hell. Way back in the day some people liked real wood furniture instead of that veneer crap that’s been around for so long, and then there was plasteramics that came later.

My eyes lingered on Ruth’s beautiful figure as she’s moving it.

That dresser is good for weighting the door down.

Good now there’s room for us to work out the kinks.

Barbara is still hiding in the closet, though for now she isn’t trapped while the door is still hanging askew from where I’d had to take it apart. She stayed there possibly because she fears whoever tried to break in there would come back. Then the plan was we’d put the people down stairs at ease and then come back up to talk to her and work out whatever needs to be done.

Earlier when I’d tried to first talk to Barbara it was apparent that her self repair still needed more time and then the others had interrupted us too. However, it was good enough to know that her repair was WORKING and working well. I knew she’d be OK.

“Jack, the other humans are scared and full of distrust. I worry about what they’ll do. They don’t consider us family,” Ruth said quickly. She’s following me pretty close too, almost bumping into me, but that might actually be her goal.

Who wouldn’t want to bump into a hot girl?

Or is Ruth trying to distract me from approaching Barbara?

Her hand lingers on my wrist.

Yep, I think she is. She totally wants to be the only girl huh? She sort of has a pleading sort of pout on her cute face.

“I know. They won’t accept us as their leaders either. So it’ll be compounded when I ask them to search for food or weapons. They’ll want to be independent,” I said.

“So do you still feel staying at this house is the right thing to do?” she asked.

“That’s actually a good question. At least until Barbara is ready to go we have to. Her being awake doesn’t mean she’s fully ready to go yet but I won’t know that either until we talk to her,” I said.

She frowned.

She does that whenever I mention Barbara. She’s also giving me a hard stare.

“Ruth? Does my having Barbara too make you feel bad?” I asked. I folded my arms facing her. This might end up like a resolving concerns type of conversation.

“I’m a freaking android Jack. I don’t get a say in the matter,” she whispered as low as she could. She gave a response of something that resembled a ‘like I have a say in this’ while throwing her arms and hands up in the air.

She did enter a sort of submissive type of look though, when I confronted her. Yeah she totally acted jealous just then. I can’t blame her.

“Ruth, you have to believe I’ll still take care of you and think of you like a spouse just as much as she. I can’t change that there are two of you, but I’ll value you. I promise,” I said.

“Humans aren’t good at keeping promises Jack,” she again whispered.

Both of us are afraid someone will hear but the house is big enough they shouldn’t be able to pick anything up.

I then move forward to the closet to peek in, after moving the door aside again. This time it moves easily.

This is so awkward…

Android number 2…is seeing and watching me feel up android number 1, who is totally naked. And most people don’t have a naked porn star with giant boobs in their closet either.

But I do. It’s totally amazing and hypnotic in a way.

I can see her in the position still that I’d carefully put her in when I first hid her.

Barbara’s head is down. She’s asleep. I can barely see the outline of her shiny silky dark hair spilling down her head and shoulders. She’s got her legs bent while sitting on the floor with her feet together and her knees also together with the knees up near her chin with her hands clasped around her shins. Her head is tilted forward only slightly while her chin rests, barely touching the knees with her eyes closed.

She’d gone back to sleep? Or maybe she was finishing the repair?

The android power solar IV is still connected to her wrist.

I can’t believe I have a woman like this. I am still trying to take it in. Barbara is the most magnificent specimen of feminine ideal ever perceived for both androids and humans. And her not being overly proud or a jerk about it seems impossible though it’s true.

I kind of am interested in watching her rest like this. I mean…if she wasn’t this awesomely crafted someone might get tired after awhile but not when she’s perfect. Her chest and breathing move consistently just like a human’s would and it looks like she could open her eyes at any second.

I do note there are some subtle differences between Ruth that I hadn’t realized, and it’s not just about boob sizes either though those are gigantic.

Come to think of it…yeah they could kind of pass for sisters or twins? I still haven’t worked out if I tell the others they are the same person or two people? The differences are hard to tell unless you look close I guess? I don’t know…I guess we’ll see how the people downstairs react?

And shit, I need to get clothes for both of them, but only old people lived next door, so that’s not going to work either.

“Jack don’t forget me now that you have her please?” Ruth pleaded.

Right. I can see why Ruth is so intimidated.

“Don’t worry Ruth. I’m keeping you both,” I said bending down to help Barbara wake up again.

“Is she breathing?” Ruth asked carefully. Ruth wasn’t facing her and the closet gap I’m looking through is small; plus Ruth is guarding the other door with her back towards me mostly.


“You can tell if she’s fixed enough to leave safe mode by if the breathing simulation program is running,” Ruth said.

Oh I didn’t know that.

“But why would you ask that now when she’s been awake already before?” I asked.

“Just routine diagnostics Jack. When you have living parts and also cybernetics combined together stuff can go wrong if the self repair program doesn’t run its cycle. Also if I walk you through it, if this happens to either of us in the future you will know what to look for. So I’m following the repair manual’s decision tree. Look for breathing first,” Ruth said.

“Oh right. Thanks Ruth. You are wonderful,” I gave her a pat on the head, which made her blush and have a ‘kyaa’ type of look on her face.

“Wow, that detailed…” it’s shocking when I see the breathing working so well.

“We are already powered by our own power systems, for both merged systems. So we can get by with no oxygen for periods of time. So our safe mode limits our breathing simulation program substantially. You can use that to tell if it’s safe to boot her up,” Ruth said.

I noticed Ruth sounds a bit monotone. She doesn’t like this I think.

“It’ll be OK Ruth. I’ll still give you love too,” I said glancing at her.

“I’ll trust you Jack,” she said.

“Use the same hidden switch for the self repair cycle to run a second check to be sure everything has run its cycle. After this the hidden switch should deactivate so that it can’t be misused. In theory that switch will only work when a damage flag activates its circuit. Then the owner gets involved too,” she coached.

“OK, good. I don’t want someone accidentally turning her off,” I noted.

“And that’s why it has security measures so it won’t be abused,” Ruth said.

It’s funny that she went back to sleep again though.

I wonder why.

I have to be careful moving her to get to the switch. The way her arms are positioned I could knock her off balance easily since she’s in deep sleep. So I very carefully lift the one arm up above her head and in so doing her side boob flops down a bit more shaking like jelly. While reaching forward it’s a bit too easy to feel the silky side boob that’s sticking way out. When a girl has boobs this huge the side boob part is very prominent and flows down almost all of her ribcage.

I wish I could just handle those all day. There’s a reason people call them ‘fun bags’.

Somehow guessing what I was thinking by what I’m looking at I hear a meek voice to the side of me, “I have fun bags too Jack,” Ruth whispered.

Gulp. I didn’t know how to respond. Ruth is totally trying to distract me.

I’m excited to talk to her though. So I decide to not waste any time turning Barbara on again.

After feeling in her armpit I manage to find the switch again, pushing it very carefully.

“Now that you’ve booted her up, it will take a minute for her system to build up from core start up. It’s kind of like how those diesel engines took time to build momentum. Her system was built with consistency and longevity prioritized over speed, though she has that too once her core is warmed up,” Ruth noted.

“Thanks Ruth.”

“No problem. I’ll still be your number 1. She’s just number 2. And if you let me be the legal wife I’ll show you my fun bags later,” she shot back quickly.

Funny kid, she’s definitely territorial.

But wait, don’t I get to see the fun bags anytime I want anyway? Who gave her permission to restrict access?! I better retrain her quickly.

Wouldn’t Barbara say the opposite in return too?

“Jack…I wanted to confirm this but…she’s really a Liga isn’t she?” Ruth seems in awe. Somehow Ruth is sitting with her legs folded under herself next to me.

“Eh? Why do you say that? Do you know something?” I asked.

“Jack! Do you realize how awesome that is! I mean a Liga model is the shit you know! It’s like all your friends had little budget economic cars, and you show up with a Lamborghini. It’s like a human meeting another celebrity for us androids in a way,” she said happily.

But even though she said it like that Ruth is pretty impressive too.

I didn’t like her reasoning but it was kind of funny in a way. Part of the reason I think I was driven to like androids over people was I didn’t like how humans put social caste systems over each other and put one person over another.

“I don’t think it’s that much of a difference. Ruth, all androids are wonderful. Even the first two hospital androids I ran into were that wonderful and they weren’t really advanced. They had good AI though. And anyway if people were to only think you had a life if you had a Lamborghini then I think it would mess up their view of not appreciating the other cars don’t you think,” I said.

“You think so?” she asked. She smiled again while looking shy.

I like all kinds of cars not just sports cars. Like hummers for example were popular even though they are way outdated, and there were other types of cars too. Plus who doesn’t like extended cab trucks? A world with only Lamborghinis wouldn’t be much fun if everything is expected to be one.

“I don’t like you comparing yourselves to cars. A car doesn’t think for itself. And with cars there’s only one driver but we can still be a family with two of you. Having one of you doesn’t make the other expendable or unusable,” I said.

“But she’s a Liga?! That’s so amazing. There’s also a limited number of them” Ruth said.

I shook my head. “We should treat each other equally.”

“I can’t believe you are saying that,” she said.

“Wait did you say there’s a limited number of Ligas?” I said surprised.

She nodded. But she avoided telling me more about that. She was worried I’d get fixated on that. After all when people hear ‘super rare’ or ‘limited’ they start to get funny.

“But maybe that’s why a Liga might choose you,” she whispered more to herself than me.

“Hang on please. We’re getting away from what we came here for,” I said.

“I see…” Ruth had a mixed expression.

I wished I could put her fears to rest but she just seems to always come back with more of them.

But we were both made to be patient when slowly Barbara’s eyes glowed in the colored part of the eye. Her chin also rose about an inch or two as she was waking up again. We could hear a faint voice activate itself, “security protocols activated. Emergency power online, system check active, rerouting power to main startup sequences. Mellifera link...compromised…restarting security check…attempting to reconnect with Mellifera net…active…scanning….”

After a good thirty seconds the monotone voice came out again. “Error, Mellifera net link offline. Error, city utility networks also offline. Priority; determine cause of malfunction and ensure owner safety…”

Her hand reached out and grabbed mine, not bothering to worry about her nudity. Her knees were still in the same position as before but her trunk and head were a bit less than 45 degrees to face me a bit more.

Then she stretched out her arms and neck while in a long terrible yawn that just pushed her boobs up more. I tried to not stare at her chest while she’s in that massive yawn that pushed her chest up and out. When someone has massive boobs that’s a challenge…

Then the glow to the eyes settled to looking like a normal person again.

Then she carefully stood up. Life returned to her eyes and she looks around.

“Jack? Oh…Jack. I’m so glad you’re still alive! I was afraid I’d lost you!” Barbara reached over and grabbed me into a hug.

Wow, a naked girl hug. This is so awesome!

Next to me Ruth looks horrified but she can’t say anything. To her its probably a nightmare.

Androids aren’t supposed to cry…really…

Barbara is crying while clutching at me in a bear hug. Ahh, her grip is too strong. It’s so tight. Then she’s sort of giggling while hopping up and down.

We finally get to talk.

“So the repair cycle is REALLY done this time? It’s not a false start?” I asked.

Barbara is laughing while hopping up and down pushing her chest into mine. “Yes! Yes Jack! Oh I’m so happy to see you!” Her boobs shake a ton as she’s hopping up and down.

Next to us Ruth is petrified in horror. “I’ve…lost. No way! I can’t win against…super …boobs,” I barely heard her say.

I don’t know why she’s so surprised. It makes sense.

If humans can create androids then they are pretty skilled. And if pretty skilled humans can make an android look and act like a human of course they would make them look like the best humans and like the most desirable humans. And if humans can make androids that look like the most desirable humans, then of course they would try to give them wonderfully big boobs.

Besides Ruth isn’t all that lacking herself. Those are nice too. 

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