Tina Will - Forever Broken's Poetry Booklet

Every now and then, between the madness and the sadness. . I can write about her...I want to tell the world.. but it hurts..so I will add my poetic words and inner thoughts here slowly.. It takes time to let go and breath...moreless speak...whether in words or text... when you are broken like me,
- Kristina's Mom

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3. Year Of The Monster

Year Of The Monster

~~It's Hard to believe what

-Tomorrow will be..

The one year marker...

Of the day you were taken from me..
 PLUS friends and family alike.

 

One year.. since you lost your life..

and forever altered mine..and other as well.

We somehow made it through..this year,

But I will say..it was not only NOT easy

..it was sure HELL.

 

I wish this last  year was different,

and you were still here.

But unfortunately ..there is no happily ever after..

No fairytail ending..only memories that are painful.

of what could have been..but never will.

 

Id give my life..to bring you back again..

Id do whatever it took..but I can't..

and that's the hardest part of this all.

21 years of protecting you ..

and making sure you didnt fall.

and I could do nothing to save you..

I was not even there..when you answered gods call.

 

I miss every part of what we were..

 and treasure every trinket and saved phone message..

anything and everything at all..IS SACRED .

One year...without your voice..funny puns

 and conversations that I wish never came to an end.

 

One year..and here i still sit..broken..

and not being able to handle this..

how do you really..Im not even sure..

I put on a new face for everyone..everyday,

to mask the anger..hurt and pain I feel..

every time someone mentions their daughters..

grandbabies..anything..i nolonger have or will..

 

I know i shouldnt be hatefull or jealous..

but its that mommy monster in me..

that wants to strike out in anger..

 for whats been done..

 why my child.?.what wrong has she done..?

she was a gentle creature......who only knew how to love..

she was special and she was loved!!!!!!!

 

I guess Im not really moving forward..

I am forever broken you see...

there still is the monster inside of me..

and one year...ten years..all my years..

won't change this for me.

- 2013

 

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