Lost

My body hits the cement below, but I don’t feel anything. My eyes open for a few seconds to see blood pouring from everywhere until a single thought filled my mind. I am no longer lost. (I am still working on editing but this is the outline and this is about as long as its going to be)

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1. Lost

I was lost. Lost in thought and lost in life. Each day was dark, troubling, and hell. It was the same routine every day. Wake up, go to college, head to work, come home, sleep, and repeat. Never different from the previous day. Never different from the next. Days fly by and I no longer even know why I am doing what I am doing. Why am I here? What am I supposed to be doing right now? Where am I?


I reached the roof of the building within minutes of my arrival. It was my apartment building that I was standing atop. The place I always spent the most time. The place I was ready to die at. I have no real place to go home to. No family, no house, no friends. You see, I’ve been living a very lonely life up to now. I hadn’t seen my family, which hated me through and through, for years. And I have never had a single friend since I was born. Or, whatever friends I actually had left me.


All I did was the same routine every day. I didn’t know why I was even still alive or what I was supposed to be doing anymore. The world looked black and white to me now. It had no color, it was lifeless, just like me. For, I am lost in life, and in my will.


My feet carried me to the edge of the roof before they collapsed beneath me, bewildering me. I lost all feeling in my legs.


Fresh hot tears rolled down my cheeks, faster and faster. I collapsed on the roof of an apartment building and now I was sobbing.


I turned my face toward the sky and I screamed. How pathetic am I?


I didn’t stop screaming until after my voice got so hoarse that I couldn’t. But now, my throat throbbed.
Somehow, I regained feeling in my legs and I crawled my way back onto my feet. They carried me the last couple of footsteps to the brick wall that was there to keep people from slipping off the roof.


I slowly climbed on top of it and sat on the cold brick. My eyes followed the sun as it started to set. I saw its colors. It was beautiful and it wasn’t just black and white. It was real. It was more than what I was anymore. My tears kept coming.


This time, I closed my eyes and screamed towards the falling sun,”I’m nothing, aren’t I?!”


My eyes opened slowly after a few minutes and I realized that I had stopped crying. I realized that the tears stopped; they wouldn’t come.


I smile, and then laugh hysterically. I get it now.


I stand atop the brick wall and look down towards the people below. My smile vanishes and I take a meager step forward.


As I do so, I lose my balance and slip into the empty, awaiting sky.


I close my eyes and imagine that I was flying. For now, I am. I am flying. And now, I will find my way to where I belong.


My body hits the cement below, but I don’t feel anything. My eyes open for a few seconds to see blood pouring from everywhere until a single thought filled my mind.


I am no longer lost.

 

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