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I made a review store purely because I needed feedback and couldn't find a review store open/running. I really needed someone else option and found no where to turn.Therefor, I decided to make a review store because I have a feeling other people have felt this way as well. It would make me extremely happy to make a place where writers can go to help, become better writer, and just over all have somewhere to go for (half-way decent) feedback.
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3. Hoist the Colours

Anything else I have to add


Hoist the Colors by Lady Panda

This book did immediately hook me and I was really excited when you asked me to review it because I was already reading it. (I was on the second chapter when you asked for the review) At first I was really into this book because of the action and Morrow's sass but after awhile, he really seems to point out every time he makes a witty remark and it felt like he was just like "HA! YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!" You write like you've been writing awhile and I love your style, but Marrow starts to seem very childish after a while. (I know he's 16 but still) Another thing is, every single chapter something seemed to go wrong and he had to call in his "acquaintances", which didn't even seem to like him that much. It was like, Morrow mouthed off, Morrow gets attacked, Morrows friends grumble and save him. I love how you write the action scenes but there just so many of them I don't feel like I know the characters at all! It also just makes the book get really boring to read which is terrible because it has a really good plot!

You wanted me to do a character analysis and I did, paying very close attention to each character as I read. Morrow seems like a sociopath because he seems to care so little about anything remotely, I'm not saying that's a bad thing but when you write about someone like that, you need to let the reader into his head;at little at the very least because if not, they get confused,bored, and irritated. Morrow is a funny character, it's just he seems to point out everything remotely funny he says or thinks and it really killed his character. Its just like , he kills somebody, he barely blinks an eyelash and just continues to complain about his predicament. He's the protagonist and I feel like I barely know him at all because there's so much action going on. I hardly feel like I know anyone,really. I really liked Morrow but there's some real issues with his character.

Morria also have some of the same issues. (Meaning, I don't feel like I know her at all) Morria is mouthy and has a lot of spunk to her and I really wish you went more into her story because I really like her. She's a strong female character who is motivated by revenge and I think that's really cool because there's not a lot of characters like that and that's why I was so disappointed there wasn't much of her.

As for Averly and Torro, I felt like they were grumbling henchman who kinda were just like ~there~. It felt like they had no real presence or propose, besides rescuing Morrow after he mouths off. They don't even seem like they like him even though there, "friends" because every time they save him, there pissy about it the whole time! I would love to know more about them because right now there just ~there~ and I know your a very talented writer who knows how to write vivid wonderful characters and that's why I'm so confused as to why these characters are so two dimensional.

Your grammar was good! The only thing I noticed was sometimes you word things in a odd way and it really throughs the reader off. I was reading the first chapter and I got really confused as to why you kept capitalizing "Head" and it caused me to focus more on,"Why is that capitalized?" rather than your actual writing. Every time you worded something odd, I had basically these same trail of thoughts and it just really kills your flow, it's especially bad when something really good is happening and I can't focusing on it because the wording.

Even though this book has work that needs to be done on it, I did enjoy it over all. I really like the plot and I like your wiring style, there's just a couple things that need to be adjusted. We all have things to work on in our writing and I'm really glad you asked me for a review because I love to help talented writers get better!

Thank you for requesting!

Come again any time! :)

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