*Smutty stuff in here* This is just about me and my most recent dating and sexual experiences. Honestly, it's a lot of failed relationships and a lot of sadness but it's my life so idk.


29. September 28th-October 4th 2017

 A few weeks ago I had a date.

It was with a girl.

She has she same name as my sister so when I’d talk about her to my friends, I would call her Lolo.

Lolo and I started talking a few weeks prior. We met on bumble and talked on there for a week or so before moving over to Snapchat where I talk to most people, including all my friends from college. I snap more than I text.

So, about a month ago (9-28-17), she picked me up from my house (never have I ever told a person where I lived before I met up with them, nor have I told them where I worked, but I trusted her more than anyone prior because I feel safer with girls, and I need to feel safe after the last guy), and we went to an all you can eat Chinese buffet.

We sat and talked for like two hours there and it was fantastic. Then we went to a place that sells puppies and we played with a small little puppy and it was fantastic. Then we headed to Starbucks since were both obsessed with that place, then she took me to my work since I was scheduled that day.

The date lasted almost three hours and was all around fantastic. The only thing that was annoying is that she complemented me…a lot.

Don’t get me wrong, a few sweet things here and there are awesome, but when it’s every few minutes you have to force the smiles and giggles. The complements that day weren’t that often, but the other night (9-30-17/10-01-17) were a little more excessive, but I’ll get to that in a minute.

I spent the day playing Pokémon Go (I reached level 30 and I’m incredibly proud of myself for that). So, as I’m hitching rides with strangers I met while playing who were taking me to more and more raids, Lolo messages me and tells me one of her friends is at the college so I hitched a ride with a girl who I new was heading there for the raids.

I ended up see her friends and talking with them for about an hour before heading home, showering, and then having Lolo pick me up and take me back to the college so her friends and I could hang out again.

I went really well and we sat in a hammock together, but we never held hands or kissed or anything.

Well, she’s demi sexual, which means she doesn’t want physical attraction until there’s a strong romantic attraction. At that point, I should’ve ended it because I knew it wasn’t going to work out. I way too into holding hands and kissing and stuff to wait until someone was super attached to me, and don’t get me wrong, I could wait to do that if I was with the right person, but I knew things would’nt work out with her because…well…this is going to sound terrible but I just dated her because I was temporarily done with men because of the last fucking piece of shit who molested me. He made me scared something like that would happen again and I just felt safer with a woman, though, even though I’m bisexual, I know I’ll end up with a man because I’m waaayyyy too into facial hair to end up with a girl.

Long story short we went on a third date a few days later. We went to a Chinese restaurant and I got to meet the rest of her friends. If you’re unaware, it is soooo not normal to meet all of your dates friends within the first week of you two going out. SOOOO NOT NORMAL. It’s also not normal for your date to say something like, “I was just picturing me coming home to you take care of our children.” Yeah, when she said that it 100% scared me off.

I ended up trying to ghost her after that date, and it was working pretty well until about a week later she messaged me saying, ‘Sorry for ignoring you…blah blah blah…’ and I just wanted to respond with, ‘I WAS IGNORING YOU’ but I didn’t, I just didn’t respond. It was a long message I don’t care to read again because as I’m reading it I might press a button and have her get the notification of me typing.

But yeah, I will probably never date a girl again.

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