*Smutty stuff in here* This is just about me and my most recent dating and sexual experiences. Honestly, it's a lot of failed relationships and a lot of sadness but it's my life so idk.


30. Joe

So, do any of you remember the guy named Joe? I wrote like 30 words on him in the entry of ‘July 2017’.


I’ll give you some background on him.


I started talking to him in September of 2016, we messaged all the time but we didn’t videochat until like a week before we met in July of 2017. I’m not one to cheat so I didn’t talk to him when I was in a relationship (ie, when I was dating Connor or Stan), and I met up with him the day after having terrible terrible terrible and awkward sex with that random guy.

Okay, so with that guy it wasn’t like I fucked him in an alley, we had been talking for a few weeks and then went on a date, and then we had sex at his apartment on his horribly squeaky bed and he lasted like a minute and I felt almost nothing because his dick was so thin and yeah, it was terrible.

The only part worse than the sex was like a week later when he messaged me on Snapchat (and then blocked me immediately afterwards) saying ‘Oh, by the way I have Chlamydia, you should probably be fine though’.

Yeah, so I obviously didn’t have time to get an STD check between the like 18 hours between the random guy and my date with Joe, but don’t worry, I didn’t have sex with Joe…at least, not yet…




So, I went on like three dates/hangouts with Joe. The first one was to a Mongolian Grill, and after that we went to his house, picked up his adorable pure white Siberian Husky puppy that he had gotten like a week or so prior, and then went to the dog park.

We walked around with the dog for a bit and eventually Joe mustered up the courage to grab my hand. After a little more walking and talking, he stopped and faced me and said this cheesy ass speech before going in for a kiss.

So there we were standing in the middle of a dog park at like 9PM kissing with a cute puppy running around us.

I don’t remember if we went to his place after that, or if this next part happened on the next date but yeah.


Him and I were on his bed, making out, touching each other, basically all but having sex.


I had never been so horny before in my life.



It was like I was on a different planet.


I was literally begging him to have sex with me.


I had no control over myself.


Joe must’ve had more morals than I did because he kept telling me ‘no, not until we start dating’, and me, being in a different realm of living was like, ‘okay then let’s start dating,’ which was a terrible thing to say just because I was horny.


I’ll be honest, the fingering and dry humping was soooo much better than any sex I had ever had which I why I wanted to go straight to sex because if he was so good without his dick, I couldn’t imagine what he was like with it.


To bad I didn’t find out that night. :////


The third and final time we hung out was at my house.


We made out and stuff and we decided we were going to actually have sex this time. We came up with a safe word in case either of us wanted to back out at any point. It was something stupid like…apple? Idk, it was some sort of food I remember that much.


So, I had grabbed the condom and lube out of my secret box and set them on my nightstand, and were laying in bed, trying to get each other at least a tad bit horny, and eventually he got kinda hard and I handed him the condom and as he was holding it, we both said, “apple.”


He ended up going home and the next day I got the snap message from that random guy. I ignored Joe for a few days before building up the courage to tell him that I might’ve given him CLymida.


Yes, I know, we didn’t have sex, but I went down on both the random guy and on Joe, and Joe had also gone down on me and STD’s can spread really easily so I just wanted to give him the heads up of the possibility that he had caught something from me.


But yeah, after I told him that, I blocked him on snapchat and unfriended him on facebook.


Like I had said in prior chapters, Joe was, well, is, incredibly immature.


That’s the main reason I cut things off with him, and we stopped talking.


That is, until a few weeks ago.

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