Explicit

*Smutty stuff in here* This is just about me and my most recent dating and sexual experiences. Honestly, it's a lot of failed relationships and a lot of sadness but it's my life so idk.

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31. December 2017

Since I don’t feel like rereading the entries I typed up over a year ago I’ll tell you guys a little about myself.

 

I’m 20 years old (my birthday was last week), and I’m very plus sized. Like, I’m a size 20. But you know what? I’m happy with it.

 

Actually that’s a lie, I’m not happy with it but I’ve accepted it because I can’t change it over night so I’ve learned to live with it.

 

I have probable dating people because of my size. Most people are too quick to judge. I’ve never gone on a date with a guy who I’ve met in person, meaning I’ve only gone on dates with people that I’ve met online.


Honestly, I’m probably one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet, and I know a lot of people say that, but I truly believe I am an incredibly nice, kind, and genuine person. I go out of my way to try and make people’s day better and if someone asks me to do something, there’s a 98% chance I’ll agree without hesitation.


That means I have a heard time saying no and I always see the best in people, which is what got me into the position of being molested. I wanted to believe that that guy was different than what I’d read about him online, and I didn’t want to block him without an explanation like my friends suggested I do, though more than anything I wish I had listened to them.

 

BUT ONTO HAPPIER THINGS

 

Recently, I’ve been looking for a FuckBuddy. Why? Because I wanted to and I’m an adult so I can.

 

I kept looking in all the wrong places.

 

I was talking to random guys on apps like Tinder, Bumble, and OkCuipd, trying to build up the courage to meet up with a random guy just to have sex, but I was always to big of a pansy to ever actually go through with it, especially because of the creepy guy who didn’t respect it when I said no.

 

So, I talked with one of my friends who has had a handful of guys she had ‘flings’ with, and asked her how I should go about finding a FuckBuddy, and she gave me the best adive ever.

 

“You don’t look for one, you just find one.”

 

To explain that more out, it means you don’t go looking for some random guy who you’ve never met and hope the physical chemistry is there when you should just wait until a good situation arises.

 

For instance, going on a date and realizing there no emotional connection, or going back to an ex just for the physical stuff.

 

Or, in my case, having a guy who you weren't emotionally attracted to start messaging you on facebook because you didn’t block him, you only unfriended him four months ago.

 

 

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