*Smutty stuff in here* This is just about me and my most recent dating and sexual experiences. Honestly, it's a lot of failed relationships and a lot of sadness but it's my life so idk.


21. April-3-2017 Update

Okay guys, so he didn’t break up with me, which made me happy.

It’s just, I literally do not have words for what happened last night.

It felt so good.

It was so hot.

The feeling of being on your knees and looking up at someone as you bring them pleasure is a mystical feeling.

And the feeling of sitting on someone’s face it fucking fabulous.


It was just...magical.


It started out with us listening to music and talking, and then we cuddled for quite a while while talking some more, and then the kissing started. I stopped him when a thought passed through my mind.

I talked to him about trying to make him last longer and approached the topic of jerking him off and then having sex to see if that would work and he was all for that, so I proceeded to spend like twenty minutes giving him a hand job and a blowjob that DIDN’T WORK.

Like at least twenty minutes into me jerking him and sucking him off, he asked me if I would try something and so he stood up and I got onto my knees and I proceeded to suck him, and the feeling of looking up at someone while giving them pleasure is such a weirdly good feeling.

Thankfully the room was dark and so I could only see his outline and he couldn't see my face from such an unflattering angle.

And then he still hadn't came so we move back to the bed (it had been probably at least thirty minutes by now and he normally lasts like maybe 5 with a hand job or blow job so I was starting to feel self-conscious, and I think Stan was feeling that way too).

We proceeded to make out and stuff and eventually, Stan said, "Babe, can we try something?"

And I was like, “Sure,” because I was really up for anything. Well, anything but anal which I doubted he was going to ask for.

“Do you want to sit on me?”

My dumbass thought that he was talking about like his legs or something so it'd be a different angle for me to blow him and so I was like, "On your legs or here?" And I gestured to his dick.

"I was thinking more of here," and even though it was dark, I could see that he was pointing at his face.

Now, I am not a small girl. I'm actually quite big, like XXL or size 18 big, and so I was seriously self-conscious about hurting him and so I told him that and he was like, "If I can't breathe I'll push you off."

And I was like, "I'm also pretty sure that I taste bad and-."

He cut me off saying, "Don’t worry, I like it," and I don't know if that was true or not because he hadn't gone down on me since right before we had sex for the first time.

Eventually, I agreed and I climbed on top of him, which was really weird to do, and he scooted down so that he was directly lined up with my vag and it was just weird doing this with someone.

It lasted about five minutes before I rolled off of him and I laid with my head at the bottom of the bed and his at the top and I just started talking to him because he STILL HAD NOT CUM and I I just needed a break from constantly trying to get him off.

So him and I are talking about the things I had wanted to talk to him about the last time I had seen him and his mom had been there, and so we had the STD talk and he said that he had always used condoms so he was clean and I told him that he was the only person I had ever done this with so I was clean and I talked to him about being Facebook official and he was like, "It won't let me add you!" and then I told him that he should keep some condoms at my house and that we need to take a good selfie together.

He was more than willing to leave some condoms here.

I then moved and we cuddled and talked some more and I got him to apologize for not telling me his mom was coming on our last date and eventually we started kissing again and he got hard again (he had gotten soft during the talking part) and he rubbed my clit and fingered me and I had him put on the condom and I asked him what position he wanted and he was like, "Well, you haven't topped yet," and I was more than okay with that because that was what I was wanting to try.

So I got on top of him and it was kinda hard to ride him but we did that for a little while before changing positions...and changing them again... and again.. and again...

We did like eight different positions before ending in doggy where he FINALLY came.

The sex lasted like at least ten minutes and it was just...magical.

He ended up spending the night and taking me to class this morning since my sister was out of town. I did call her and ask for her permission for Stan to sleep here and she reluctantly agreed before telling me that she’d let her boyfriend (who also lived in the house) know so he wouldn’t get worried about the car outside the house.


And now, I think I’m sleeping at Stan’s place tonight :)

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