The Dairy of A Vampire

This is the Dairy of a 15-year-old vampire named Vladimira. She lives with her human family and she hates that she can't get the right food. She has never tasted human blood before and her mother and father are pushing her ever closer to trying some of them. But, of course, they don't know that she is a vampire.

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78. Entry 78; Sat, May 6, 2017

Is it healthy to feel this sad all the time? I mean the only time I am not sad is when I am outside and that is only at night, of course, and even then I still cry. Not happy but not sad either. And then you have me trying to cut myself with anything I get my hands on. I can't cut myself by the way. I find that sad. I try and try and try to do it but I just can't make myself draw blood even though I press the knife deep into my own skin. At night I talk to an empty chair hoping that something is listening and will get it to the person I am always talking to. Now if you read the other entries than you would know who that would be. And for a while, I was good life was somewhat more tolerable than everything in this world. And then I went downhill. I cried, I remembered, and I talked to myself. Last night was the most I talked to anyone since she left. No one will sit by me in class and no one will talk to me in school. I have to start the conversations and even then it is so awkward that I stopped trying to start up the talking. Tonight is Prom as well, and guess who I am going with? Did you guess? Well, the answer is no one. I am not going to Prom. I plan to only go to the Halloween dances. And even those will not be fun for me. Too many bodies too close to each other and too many hearts beating and blood flowing. But back to my question, is it healthy to feel this sad all the time?

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