forever

The event changed everything, but a story can’t have a central theme unless there are walls to support it, roads that take you there and on, because I can’t just give you a fact and you understand it fully until I explain it. So here it is; I love Harry Styles, but the roads that I take you on to understand may not be one’s that you really want to travel, so heed the signs on the barren roadsides, and understand. I’ll tell you about the days, thirty before and thirty after, encompassing Harry’s attempted suicide.

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65. 27 days after

27 Days After:And just like that, Amy Lee's life is gone.Like a candle burning brightly one day, then snuffed out the next, its smoke twisting towards the sky. I still think maybe I will see her there, but maybe I should look for her elsewhere. Maybe I should look for her in the magic she left us. I don't ask Harry what her last words to him were, and he doesn't offer, but I feel like me and him need to stop taking things for granted, and I know he must agree.As we are trying on tuxes-we are to carry her coffin to the grave along with her grandfather and uncle-he studies me while I am straightening his tie."While I was away," he says with no preamble, "I started thinking about a little girl who was dying. She loved her life so much that she wanted to make it really something before she left the world. You know? She wanted to help others with their shallow problems. I had the world that night," he says, leaning into me, and I know he is talking about my birthday night, "and I was willing to throw it all away because I was scared."And I know now that Amy Lee was right; Harry is scared of magic."But I kept thinking while I was gone how stupid that was. My therapist says that if I hadn't had met Amy Lee, it would have taken me a long time to make a break through. But she saved me by reminding me that every little thing is precious."He kisses me tenderly."And the important things, like you, make life worth every hardship. I'm not saying I'm perfectly healed, that I still don't think awful things, but Louis, you and Amy Lee saved me."Then, in a voice I barely hear, he adds,"Like magic."

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