forever

The event changed everything, but a story can’t have a central theme unless there are walls to support it, roads that take you there and on, because I can’t just give you a fact and you understand it fully until I explain it. So here it is; I love Harry Styles, but the roads that I take you on to understand may not be one’s that you really want to travel, so heed the signs on the barren roadsides, and understand. I’ll tell you about the days, thirty before and thirty after, encompassing Harry’s attempted suicide.

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8. 26 days before

26 DAYS BEFORE

 

A part of me notices that Harry is trying desperately to improve on himself, though we did not mention the day.

the day IT happened, the day i found him and reached out to grab him, only to pull my hand away and see it drenched blood.

 

I never knew how warm blood was, how cold Harry could feel as i gripped him, tried to shake a little life back into him.

 

Perhaps i dont sit and think about how lucky i actually am all the time, but i do now.

How lucky is was that Liam was there, that he heard the screams i was making, i didnt think they belonged to me.

but Harry is awake and his curls are gleaming and freshley washed, his smile wide, and i can see something close to sincerity there.

"you look amazing, Hazza." i say, and my voice is quiet & soft with genuine affection

"you do too, Lou" he says while winking at the same time.

For the rest of the day we were not stained under the tradgedy, not lost together but maybe a little bit found.

I didn't have to try as hard to laugh and Harry didn't seem to have to try very hard to be happy

 

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