forever

The event changed everything, but a story can’t have a central theme unless there are walls to support it, roads that take you there and on, because I can’t just give you a fact and you understand it fully until I explain it. So here it is; I love Harry Styles, but the roads that I take you on to understand may not be one’s that you really want to travel, so heed the signs on the barren roadsides, and understand. I’ll tell you about the days, thirty before and thirty after, encompassing Harry’s attempted suicide.

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58. 20 days after

20 Days Later: When Amy Lee sees the sign, she is ecstatic, grabbing onto her mom's hand, then opting to tackle me and Harry. "You brought me to Disney World!" she shrieks, clinging onto us and laughing and sobbing at the same time. "You brought me to the princesses!" "But you can't meet them in this," Harry says, kneeling down so that he can look her directly in the eye. He gestures to me and I pull a package from my backpack. "Why don't you meet them in this?" One look at the magnificent, miniature pink ball gown and she is howling; several heads turn in alarm, but she throws herself around Harry, kissing his cheeks and screaming 'thank you', over and over before grabbing me and dragging me down. Before long, the four of us are enveloped in a group hug at Amy Lee's level, and when Heather cries, Amy Lee thinks it is because she is so happy for her daughter. We don't have the heart to tell her it's only half true. Amy Lee meets them all. She saves Cinderella for last, because I believe that princess has some special hold on her heart. My thoughts are confirmed when we find ourselves alone, Harry having convinced Heather to ride a rollercoaster after finding out that she had never ridden one. I buy Amy Lee a pretzel and as we sat down I ask her what she liked most about Cinderella. "Her life was awful," she replies without hesitation, like she had carefully thought it through "She had nothing and then one day her life is brilliant because her Fairy Godmother comes along and she just waves her wand and everything is really special. I wanted my life to be special before it's over." Then she looks up at me, round face flushed with sincerity. "You and Harry are my Fairy Godmothers!" So I am naturally not surprised when she cries at the sight of Cinderella. "I always wanted to be a princess," she sniffles. "And now I get to meet you!" The girl who plays Cinderella must have heard this story a million times, but when she sees our faces, I think she detects something acutely abnormal about this. I'm not saying that she guessed what was going on, but maybe she had some idea, because her face is exceptionally kind as she bends down and says, "You are the most beautiful princess I have ever seen, and I am so honored to be in your presence." We spend the entire day there, and whatever Amy Lee asks for, we give her. I know Heather may not want her daughter to be spoiled, but I don't think Amy Lee could ever be like that. Not ever. I think she wanted a piece of this world more than she wanted materialistic items, so we bought her a crown and a wand, a few stuffed animals, and a T-Shirt. I think the biggest part of the magic for her is the picture we all take with Cinderella. She looks at this the most. We get several copies, a wallet for me and Harry and a few bigger versions to share among the four of us. "I want one by my bed at the hospital!" Amy Lee had demanded. She rides the rides Heather thinks are safe, and we stay the night at a fancy hotel nearby. We have all day tomorrow to have more fun, and we have another dress for Amy Lee to wear. The magic doesn't have to stop here.

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