forever

The event changed everything, but a story can’t have a central theme unless there are walls to support it, roads that take you there and on, because I can’t just give you a fact and you understand it fully until I explain it. So here it is; I love Harry Styles, but the roads that I take you on to understand may not be one’s that you really want to travel, so heed the signs on the barren roadsides, and understand. I’ll tell you about the days, thirty before and thirty after, encompassing Harry’s attempted suicide.

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18. 17 days before

17 DAYS BEFORE

"What is he doing?" Niall asks, flipping through a folder with party plans im not allowed to look at.

"it looks like he's balancing shit on his head," Zayn remarks, texting and not even bothering to look up at the spectacle.

"they're going to fall," Liam warns, but Harry laughs and lifts his hand up to place another book on his head.

this makes four, and even though we all know it is going to end with the books falling and probably landing on his bare foot, we don't stop him because its nice to see him doing something crazy.

"have you decided on what cake you want?" Niall asks, watching the books waver as Harry reaches for another paperback.

"Of course not, it's more than two weeks away!"

"make up your mind," Harry says, teetering to keep the books in place.

"i want a one direction cake," i decide. "with all our face on it, it will be just like a teenage girl's party!!!"

The books fall in a single instance that we are all not watching that we arent watching, but Harry doesn't seem disapointed.

"i need a new game!" he says, sounding almost insultingly bored,

"we'll have drinking games!" Niall declares suddenly, furiously scribbling on a piece of paper, which i suppose i am also not allowed to look at it.

"this will be the best day of your fucking life!" Harry says, watching me carefully, his eyes flittering over the planes of my face until he decides to meet my eyes.

There is something darker in his tone, but is swept away as Zayn challenges Liam to a round of beer pong.

 

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