forever

The event changed everything, but a story can’t have a central theme unless there are walls to support it, roads that take you there and on, because I can’t just give you a fact and you understand it fully until I explain it. So here it is; I love Harry Styles, but the roads that I take you on to understand may not be one’s that you really want to travel, so heed the signs on the barren roadsides, and understand. I’ll tell you about the days, thirty before and thirty after, encompassing Harry’s attempted suicide.

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36. 1 day before

1 DAY BEFORE

The boys stay out late to make sure everything is perfect. Harry is even more energetic than Niall, and yesterday is forgotten easily. I tease him about what my present must be, but he doesn't seem very eager to speak of it, so I let it go as quickly as I grabbed it, and instead we watch Brave again. He asks me once more. Once more before The Day. "If you had a chance to change your fate, would you?" I look at him, and I wonder why the question is so important. "Yes," I answer, hardly pausing to acknowledge my answer is different today than it was before. "I might change a lot of things. Wouldn't you?" Silence falls heavy and thick between us, and I hate how it tends to settle there since The Day. Instead of moving closer to me like he has been recently, he moves away, head down, mouth turned down. "I would change absolutely everything."

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