lost

Jenifer gets bullied a lot. her mother left her when she was little and her dad told her she was a big mistake. she has no friends and no one likes her. because of this all she is depressed but what will happen if she falls in love with one of her new neigbours?

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3. Secret

Jenifer's pov

I woke up rather happy this morning. I didn't feel the need to cut myself for the first time in a while now. I need to talk to Zayn tho. I mean we kissed, he said he likes me. I grabbed some clothes and a towel and went to the shower. I went to my bathroom and took a quick shower. When I got out of the shower I changed into my clothes for the day and brushed my hair. I went downstairs and made some breakfast. 'Why was your door locked tonight.' I heard my dad say. Oh shit, I got busted. 'Uhm because I was taking a shower and I forgot to take the lock of the door.' I said. 'Is that the truth or are you lying because of that Zayn guy from next door?' My dad asked me. 'That's the truth.' I said calmly and went upstairs to grab my school bag. I walked back downstairs and grabbed my coat. 'Are you already leaving?' My dad asked me. 'Yes I still need to do some work for a science project and I can only do that at school.' I said to cover up that I was going to Zayn. 'Oh well, as long as you get good grades and work hard I am okay with you leaving early for school.' My dad said. Why is he being so nice to me today? 'Of course, I work hard dad but I gotta go now, bye.' 'Bye honey.' My dad said. Honey? what is happening? Ugh, whatever. I walked over to the boys' house. I knocked at the door and Niall opened. 'Hey Jenifer, come in.' Niall said and stepped aside for me to come in. I walked into the living room and all the boys sat there watching tv. 'Hey guys.'I said and the guys responded with a murmuring of heys. None of them taking their eyes off of the tv, well except for Zayn of course. Zayn stood up and walked over to me. 'Zayn can we talk for a second, alone.' I asked making sure the rest of the boys didn't hear me. 'Yes, of course, come follow me.' Zayn said and we walked upstairs. 'What's up.' He asked. 'Well, I wanted to talk about last night.' I said. 'What about it?' 'We kissed.' I said looking down at my hands. 'Really did we kiss.' Zayn said mocking me. 'Zayn please be serious.' I said looking up at him. The moment our eyes met I looked down straight away. 'We can't do that again, you know how my dad is.' I told him. 'Well, why don't we keep it a secret then? Listen I really like you and I can't stop thinking about you.' Zayn told me. 'Let me think about it. I have to go to school now tho so I'll talk to you later?' I asked. 'Yes give me your number I'll text you so we can meet up somewhere.' He said. He gave me his phone and I put my number in his phone. 'I gotta go now.' I said. 'Yeah I'll walk you out.'

 

I have been texting with Zayn all day. He told me to meet up at the park near my school so when the last bell rang I went over there. Zayn wasn't there yet so I decided to wait for a while. After a few minutes a group of guys from my class walked up at me. 'Hey emo what are you doing here all alone?' Jack the leader of the group and my ex boyfriend asked me. Yes believe it or not but I used to be populair. 'Just leave me alone Jack.' I said. 'You know Jenifer I never really stopped liking you why don't you and I go to my house and have a little fun. Maybe the boys can even watch and learn.' Jack said and all his friends laughed. 'Just go Jack.' 'Okay fine I'll go.' He stood up and left. I texted Zayn where he was and if he was still coming but I got no reply. After a while I decided to walk home. 'Hey Jenifer are you still not willing to go to my place?' Great Jack was back. 'No I'm not coming.' I said. 'Well then we'll just take you grab her guys.' Wait what. I felt someone lift me up I tried to get loose but whatever I tried nothing worked. I got thrown in the back of the car and we drove off to Jack's house. When we got there Jack carried me to his room and raped me.

 

After he raped me I went home crying. It was late so it was dark and it was raining. I went inside and went straight to my room. I took a shower and when I got out my dad was sitting on my bed. 'Hey dad, what;'s up?' I asked him. 'I spoke with Jack's mom today. I heard he raped you are you okay?'  He asked. 'No not really.' I said. 'If you want to go to the police or talk to a friend about it right now you can do that I'll even bring you there.' 'Not thanks dad I'd rather be alone right now.' Since when is my dad so nice to me? 'Okay honey I'll leave you then goodnight.' 'Goodnight dad.' And with that he left the room. I went back into my bathroom to take the rest of my make-up of. When I walked out Zayn was there. Oh no I can't handle this right now. 'What are you doing here Zayn.' I asked him. 'Your dad let me in.' 'Why?' 'Because i felt guilty for leaving you at the park and I wanted to explain. Niall and his girlfriend just broke up so I had to be there for him and he was really mad about them breaking up so he threw everything to a wall including my phone. I couldn't text you that I couldn't make it. I'm sorry.' He explained. Is he serious right now I don't believe a word he says. I saw Niall kissing a girl when I was walking home. 'Are you serious Zayn? I know that's not true, i saw Niall kissing a girl when I walked home an hour ago.' 'You went home an hour ago why did you stay in the park that long?' Zayn asked. 'I DIDN'T, YOU DIDN'T SHOW UP SO MY EX BOYFRIEND KIDNAPPED ME AND RAPED ME IN FRONT OF ALL OF HIS FRIENDS.' I yelled at him crying. 'What I... but....how...why?' 'Do you understand it or do I have to spell it out for you?' 'Jenifer I'm so so sorry.' Zayn said. I can't take this anymore. 'Just get out Zayn.' I said and with that he left.

 

Dear diary,

I got raped today by my ex boyfriend with his friends watching me.

 

I closed my diary and got my blades out of the shoebox I hid under my bed. I put the balde against my skin and cut deep into it. When I first cut myself it hurt a lot but I'm kinda getting used to it by now. I made Three deep cuts and put the blades back in the shoebox under my bed. I turned the light of and went to sleep.

 

 

 

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