The End

Endings are difficult.

~For the Endfic comp~

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1. The End

Endings are difficult.

Nobody quite knows how to deal with them, really. Endings mean change, and humans as a general rule have never been comfortable with change. They lash out, get angry, scream and rage against the immovable. Some bury their head in the sand, content to stay in blissful ignorance. Some simply compartmentalise and move on. Regardless, we, as a species, never quite know how to react to an ending.

Eliza was no exception to this rule.

She had always expected that her particular ending would be quite a pleasant one. Surrounded by her family perhaps, or simply in the comfort of her own bed, lulled to sleep by the sounds of life continuing on outside. She never anticipated that she would be in this situation at the age of fourty two, sirens blaring around her. People were screaming outside, children yelling for their mothers, and she could almost pretend she was separated from the panic in her little flat. There she sat on the floor, knees pulled up to her chest, merely listening to the chaos that was ensuing outside. There was no point in running. Not with Sarah like this.

Her gaze turned to the woman in question, lying on the couch, her breathing erratic despite the demeanour of peace. She wasn't asleep, she knew that - she simply didn't want Eliza to comfort her at this time. She knew this, and still she couldn't stay away, finally pushing herself up to move towards her.

"We could try leaving." She murmured, perching herself on the arm of the chair. Her fingers carded through her curls gently, getting caught in the knots that had formed. It was slick with grease, the showers having been inactive for quite some time. Not that they had had time to shower, anyway.

"You could try leaving." Sarah corrected, cracking one eye open to look up at her. Eliza's heart broke at seeing her like this. Gone was that fiery passion that she had fallen in love with - what was left was desperation and hopelessness. Desperation, not for Sarah herself to live, but for Eliza to get away. To have a chance of escape - to make it to the shelters where everyone was fleeing. Both of them knew there wasn't a hope of her leaving, but still, Sarah wished.

"I haven't spent twenty years of my life with you just to leave you now." Eliza chided gently, and she hated how her eyes blurred. She couldn't have them blurring now - not when there was so little time left. So little time to take in those blue eyes, sharp and warm all at once. So little time to observe the way her matted hair still resembled honey, so little time to count every last freckle on that woman's nose. So little time to be with her, to do everything they had ever wanted to do. The bombs were coming, and Eliza could feel the panic rise in her chest. They had planned to do so much. They had booked a holiday for Alaska, planning to try and see the northern lights. They were going to finally get married, finally accepted in the society that had hated them for so long. Eliza was so close to finally having the family she had always wanted, and it was being ripped from her.

Sarah must have seen the panic building, because she took Eliza's hand from her hair, interlocking their fingers instead. "Let's dance." She murmured, pushing herself up on shaky arms. Every movement was a struggle, the fever too much for her body - regardless of where the bombs struck, at least one of them wasn't making it past tomorrow. Frowning, blinking away red hot tears, Eliza aided Sarah in getting up.

"Now isn't exactly the time for dancing, love." She reminded the woman, but that stubbornness was still ever present, Sarah pulling her to the centre of the room. "Now is exactly the time for dancing." Sarah corrected, and she smiled a real, genuine smile at the confusion on Eliza's face. At the expression, Eliza couldn't help but to smile back, her heart all but melting at the sight. It had been too long since she had smiled like that. Pushing away thoughts of this perhaps being the last time she'll see that smile, Eliza wrapped her arms around the sickly woman, foreheads pressing together gently.

"Sing that song. Our one." Sarah murmured, eyes closing once more. Her breath was no longer erratic, calm despite the sirens still raging, the chaos still ensuing. Children were still screaming, men and women alike were still sobbing, and neither woman cared. If this was their end, they were going to make it a good one. Damn everything else.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine," Eliza began, supporting her love as her legs began to shake. Tears were cascading down her face, burning her skin, and still she sang, - anything to make this better.

"You make me happy, when skies are grey. You'll never know dear, how much I love you," Her voice shook, a small kiss planted to cracked lips. It was almost time, they both knew.

"Please don't take my sunshine-"

 

Endings are difficult.

At the very least, you don't need to face your ending alone.

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