Would That Make You Happy?

Frisk is your child, the result of a teen pregnancy, but they've always been told that you're their older sister. In an effort to get away from your own abusive mother, the two of you end up falling into the Underground, where Sans is startled by this abrupt change in what had become a predictable pattern of events. Maybe your presence is what is needed to stop the endless cycle of Resets.

After many struggles, both internal and external, you and your found family reach the surface, only to face even more difficulties from the society you weren't sure you'd ever see again. You meet new friends and encounter people from your past, though for good or ill, you're not sure. Sometimes it's difficult to tell kindness from cunning.

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16. We're Not Okay

Do you honestly think this changes anything?

Frisk laughs, ducking under Papyrus's arm as they imitate flying for the toy they have clenched in their hand. Most of the action figures are robots, and a small, guilty part of Frisk feels a little jealous. They never got to have cool toys like this.

Papyrus gives a stirring speech for the figure in his hand, then pushes a small button to launch plastic missiles. They fall feebly to the comforter of Papyrus's bed.

She lied to you for your entire life.

It doesn't matter. She loves me.

Frisk's smile never falters as they pretend their toy was hit by the projectiles anyway, letting out an over-dramatic cry of despair. The skeleton laughs triumphantly.

Her fear kept her from telling you the truth. What else is her fear going to ruin? What else has her fear already ruined?

She was afraid of Undyne, but she protected me.

Snatching up another toy, Frisk adopts a —frankly terrible— deeper voice and tells the fallen robot that they will be avenged. Frisk nudges the fallen toy and pretends to cough, whispering their dying words.

The performance has Papyrus enraptured.

You're going to slip up. One of these days you're going to let me in, let me take control.

I won't. You just want to hurt people.

I just want to protect you. Protect us.

You wanted to hurt Toriel.

She was keeping us trapped in the Ruins. Don't you want to go back to the surface?

Not anymore. I like it here. Si— Mom likes it here.

"FRISK?"

You can't trust anyone. People and monsters only care about themselves, in the end. No matter how much you think they care about you, how much they promise to be loyal to you... they'll betray you. They'll let you down.

That's not true!

Frisk's fingers tighten around the toy in their hands. They don't notice Papyrus waiting, worried, for them to speak.

One day, you'll be all alone, crying out for help...

"FRISK?" Papyrus finally reaches out and takes hold of Frisk's shoulder.

Frisk jumps and looks at the skeleton, dropping the figure they're holding.

"Sorry! I was trying to figure out the best speech for Sparkeroid to give!" Frisk blurts out, trying their best not to look guilty.

"OH, OF COURSE! SPEECHES ARE MY FAVORITE PART OF ACTION FIGURE BATTLES!"

Relieved but guilty of the lie, Frisk snatches the robot back up.

...and nobody will come.

Sans lied to you. He's not okay. He keeps replaying the moment he and Papyrus showed up in Snowdin and couldn't find you, when he grabbed hold of his brother and blinked forward towards Waterfall in a panic. The sight of you and Frisk facing down Undyne sent a shiver of fear down his spine, and if it hadn't been for Papyrus's lightning fast reflexes... He can't stop the image of those spears piercing your body —your Soul— from running through his mind.

As much as you passing out in his arms scared the everloving crap out of him, he was glad for the time to collect himself. He didn't want you to see how scared he was. He thinks you probably still had an idea, but at least when you woke up he could pretend everything was better than it was. He's good at that. He's had a lot of practice.

He's sitting on his bed, the light still on because he knows he's not going to fall asleep any time soon. For whatever reason, he has no problem napping nearly anywhere during the day, but as soon as it's night he struggles. He stares at a note he has stuck to the wall above his mattress. 'It hasn't reset. She's downstairs with Frisk.'

It helps.

Things are becoming more and more different this time. Undyne never came to find Frisk in Snowdin before, but Frisk never stayed here this long either. And Papyrus always let the news of a human slip to her, but this time he hadn't. What else is going to change?

Part of him wishes that he knew what was coming. But this is what makes this time special, the thing that gives him hope that this might finally be the end.

No, enough thinking about resets and timelines. Stop worrying, think of something else.

He thinks about you. The weight of you —the reassuring, comfortable, soft weight of you— in his lap, looking down at him before you started to kiss him. He wishes he could kiss you properly. He remembers the smooth warmth of your skin under his fingers, that little restrained sound you made when he squeezed your hips. He makes a mental note to do that again.

Your Soul is captivating. It is so different than Frisk's, the only other human Soul he's ever seen before. Frisk's is incredibly strong, brighter and clearer, unburdened (though, sometimes, he thinks he feels some kind of echo). In comparison, yours feels more delicate, heavy, and complicated. Your life has altered its composition in a myriad of ways, and despite (or maybe because of) it all, he thinks it's beautiful.

He wanted to touch it, to feel what you feel, but that would have been too much. You were still recovering, and he couldn't be sure what it would do to you. You didn't seem to feel anything close to what he did just being near it, but touching it directly... He can't imagine that wouldn't have some effect.

Hell, he isn't even sure what it might do to him.

Thinking about you makes him feel better, which alone is a testament for how much you've affected him. He should be upset that you're making him more and more vulnerable, but he can't bring himself to do it.

It's good to care again, even if it hurts.

   
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