Would That Make You Happy?

Frisk is your child, the result of a teen pregnancy, but they've always been told that you're their older sister. In an effort to get away from your own abusive mother, the two of you end up falling into the Underground, where Sans is startled by this abrupt change in what had become a predictable pattern of events. Maybe your presence is what is needed to stop the endless cycle of Resets.

After many struggles, both internal and external, you and your found family reach the surface, only to face even more difficulties from the society you weren't sure you'd ever see again. You meet new friends and encounter people from your past, though for good or ill, you're not sure. Sometimes it's difficult to tell kindness from cunning.


90. Muffet's Bakery

Muffet's bakery is a pastel wonderland of lace, ribbon, and soft, squashy poufs and armchairs. The atmosphere is cozy and welcoming, like a parlor from a fairy tale. Delicate, crystalline chandeliers like spun sugar confections dangle from the ceiling on gossamer strands of what you think is spider webbing. There's a fire crackling in the huge Victorian-style fireplace. Muffet herself is striding across the room on dainty heels, pouring tea for two separate tables with her many arms.

You saw a few humans milling about outside, taking in the shops and sights, but there aren't any in here. Not that you can really blame them, it had taken a little persuasion on Sans's part to try a spider donut for the first time. So for Deacon you consider this like a rite of passage. After everything he's seen in the past two weeks, is a pastry baked by spiders really so strange anymore? 

A tiny bell rings as you open the door and Deacon and Sans follow you inside. Muffet looks over at the table with her big, glossy black eyes and her tiny mouth widens into a smile. "Well hello, dearies! Welcome back to my parlor," she says, looking from you, to Sans, and then to Deacon. She tilts her head a little to the side as she studies him, her expression brightening. Covering her lips with one of her empty hands, she gives a soft laugh. "Ooh, and who is this? Looks like fresh meat to me."

Still holding two teapots, she closes the distance to meet you in the foyer, eyeing Deacon closely. You glance over at him and he seems a little nervous, but to his credit he takes her hand when she offers it to him. Touching his shoulder, he gives you a hesitant look as you smile reassuringly.

"Muffet this is Deacon, he moved to Mountainside two weeks ago. Deacon, this is Muffet," you say, dropping your hand back to your side.

"Ooh, I could just eat you up," Muffet says, baring her fangs in what you think is supposed to be a smile. "Lucky for you I already ate." She slips her hand free of Deacon's and he seems a little relieved, taking a step back so that you're a little ahead of him. With another amused giggle, she turns to you and Sans. "Sit wherever you like, dearies. I'll come get your orders in just a moment."

Once she's out of earshot, Deacon clears his throat and when he speaks his voice is a little higher than usual. "Does she, uh, always act like that? Like she wants to spin you up in a web and save you for later?"

"don't worry, she's harmless. unless you owe her money," Sans says, taking your hand and leading you over to a table.

You and Sans claim a small loveseat while Deacon cautiously lowers himself onto a pink pouf, taking in the decor. He leans forward with his arms on his knees, trying to look casual you think but failing. His shoulders are too rigid and his eyes keep darting around the room. He clasps and unclasps his hands, and as Sans settles easily into the couch beside you Deacon reaches up and rubs the back of his neck before clasping his hands together again.

Taking a little pity on him, you push the menu sitting on the table towards him. "Anything that's marked with a little spider is made of spiders. Everything else is 'normal'."

Deacon gives you a thankful look, letting out a small sigh as he picks up the laminated sheet. He skims down the selection of pastries and beverages, then glances over at the two of you, arcing a brow. "Do you not need to look?"

You and Sans shake your heads. "We always get the same thing."

"And what's that?"

"spider donut and a spider cider," Sans says, taking hold of your shoulder and pulling you back against his side. His arm slips down around your waist and your hand closest to him automatically rests on his leg. "can't go wrong with the house specialty."

Deacon's eyes flick down towards your hand, taking notice but he doesn't say anything. He's never really said much about your relationship with Sans, and you're not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. You don't get the impression that he has anything against the two of you, and maybe he's just afraid to be rude. One of these days you just keep expecting him to ask, in that casual, friendly way of his, 'So how do you bone the skeleton?' He must be wondering. It was a question you had yourself.

His attention returns to the menu, and his eyebrows twitch a little before looking back at the two of you. "Those, uh, have little spiders next to them."

"yep." Sans kicks his feet up onto the coffee table in front of you and you nudge his leg with your knee. He puts his feet back down on the floor.

Deacon looks at the menu again. "Okay, I'm not afraid to admit defeat here. I think I'm going to stick to a croissant and a cup of coffee that the menu promises absolutely does not have spiders in it."

"We'll work you up to it. One of these days you'll be eating spider donuts like the rest of us," you say, grinning.

He sets the menu down on the table and slides it away, shaking his head. "Maybe..."

Muffet comes back and takes your orders, not questioning Deacon's choices but giving him a knowing look. Before she turns to walk away you remember part of the reason you came here and let out a small sound that has her stop to look at you.

"Something the matter, dearie?" she asks, resting two of her hands on her hips while two more rub together in front of her chest.

"I almost forgot, we're putting together a festival for Mountainside School and I wanted to as you if you'd be interested in being a vendor there. We've already talked to the Nice Cream guy and a few others," you say, tucking your hair behind your ear. "It's on the 31st of this month, in the afternoon. It's a Saturday."

"Ooh, I'll have to think about that. The spiders and I would have to close up early," she says, frowning a little.

"If it doesn't work out I understand, I know you have a business to run." You give her a smile you hope says there's no hard feelings.

She nods. "I'll let you know. Now, I'll be right back with your orders."

Sans squeezes your side and you turn to look at him. He jerks his chin after Muffet and raises a brow at you. "didn't realize you were putting together such a big event. vendors? isn't that a bit much for a school thing?"

"Yeah, it was Deacon's idea. We're hoping to maybe get some humans to come too, you know that 'family-friendly' angle," you say. "I mean, what better way to spend Halloween than getting to know actual monsters?"

"i s'pose," he says, shrugging. "i know tori's a little worried about how few people have shown up since monday. maybe you've got the right idea."

Deacon looks a little surprised. "I'm glad you think so, Sans. Because Hope and I have been working really hard on this."

"yeah, i know you have, pal. so what other big things have you two been cooking up?"

You and Deacon share a look. "Um," you begin, thinking. "Well Deacon was the one that came up with the idea to get the local businesses involved to try and attract more people. I was just thinking about something like a costume contest. I've already told you most of our other ideas, hun."

"Hey, don't downplay the costume contest, that's a great idea," Deacon says, leaning towards you and grinning. You look away, pleased but a little shy of his enthusiasm. "I've already started talking to the kids in my classes about putting together costumes. Should be interesting to see what they do since there's really no way to get store-bought ones up here."

"Oh god I hadn't even thought about that. I always had store-bought when I was a kid," you say, shaking your head.

"Hey, nothing quite like a wrinkly, mass-produced polyester costume out of a plastic bag, am I right?" He laughs, giving you a conspiratorial grin.

You're laughing too, leaning forward and pointing at him. "And they were so cheap you'd wear them once and then have to throw them away half the time." You pause for a second, hit with a sudden realization. "I need to do something for Frisk. And what about Asriel?"

Sans shifts a little bit beside you and you remember he's there with you too. You lean back against him as he clears his throat. "i can handle that, if you're gonna keep being so busy. i mean, you remember papyrus's old outfit. i told you i helped him make that."

"Oh! Sans that's right, you did! I'd love it if you could help with that, thank you so much," you say, breathing a sigh of relief and kissing his cheekbone. He looks pleased with himself as you pull back.

"Speaking of, are you going to be dressing up for Halloween, Hope?" Deacon asks, giving you a lopsided smile and raising a brow. "I can think of some ideas that Sans might like."

You can feel your fiancé bristle beside you even as you're blushing at Deacon's thinly-veiled suggestion. "and what makes you think you know what i might like, pal?"

"Oh, are you saying you wouldn't want to see her in something low-cut? I mean, I'm sure she'd look fantastic." The blonde gives a good-natured shrug, still smiling.

"Guys..." you say, glancing between them and biting your lip.

"i know she would," Sans says, his expression twisting into a smirk. "i'm intimately familiar with how good she looks."

"Oh, so you two are intimate—"

"Okay, I am right here," you blurt out, your face burning. "At this rate I'm not gonna be dressing up at all."

Deacon looks away, rubbing the back of his flushed neck. He looks ashamed, as he should, you think. As he glances over at you again with an apologetic expression, Muffet shows up with your order. You're not sure if you should be thanking or cursing her timing, but you're hiding behind your big glass of spider cider and taking a big gulp to distract yourself.

The three of you end up eating in relative silence, the air thick and uncomfortable. Sans nudges you with his shoulder as you take a bite of your donut and mumbles a quiet apology. You nudge him back and nod.

"So, uh, this stuff is pretty good," Deacon says, clearing his throat and giving you a careful glance. "Thanks for making me give it a chance."

"You're welcome," you say, giving him a tentative smile.

The bell hanging above the door chimes and you look up out of reflex in time to see a pair of humans, a man and a woman, walk in. They give the place a curious look, but you're annoyed to see the woman openly recoil as Muffet walks over to greet them. 

"I told you we should have gone somewhere else," the woman says, loud enough that you can hear her across the room. She gives her partner a disgusted look. "This can't be sanitary, are those spiders crawling across the walls?"

"Why of course, dearie. This is a spider bakery after all," Muffet says, and to her credit she sounds perfectly polite. "They're invaluable help."

"Help?" the man asks, incredulous. "How has this place not been shut down by a health inspector?"

You glance around the room and while the other patrons are watching the exchange, none of them seem willing to intervene. They're too nervous, you think, about causing an incident. Of jeopardizing their chances of getting past the Line. It makes you angry just thinking about it. Sans moves to get to his feet, eliciting a strangled sound of protest from the back of your throat but Deacon is faster.

Standing, he looks over at the two of you, raising a hand. "I got this."

"I'm not sure how you expect humans to be able to eat here," the man says. He shakes his head, like he's disappointed.

"Maybe they don't want us in here at all," the woman says. Her sour expression falters as she catches sight of Deacon approaching.

"i don't like this," Sans says, his eye sockets narrowing as he watches.

"What are they going to do, complain that another human was rude to them?" you mutter under your breath.

"Hey Muffet, are these two giving you a hard time?" Deacon asks, coming up beside her and looking at the two humans.

"Oh, goodness you should be enjoying your meal," Muffet says, surprised.

"Well, I was. Must be all those little spider legs that get those flaky croissant layers just right. Delicious, by the way," he says, smiling. The human couple is looking distinctly uncomfortable. Deacon's expression shifts as he regards the pair in the foyer. "You can't control who might come in and disrupt this nice, pleasant atmosphere."

"I still feel obligated to apologize for the interruption," she says, giving the humans a pointed look.

"No, please don't. I mean, I'm sure this whole situation can be resolved with just a little bit of human decency, don't you think?" he asks, smiling at the couple.

The two humans look from Deacon to Muffet, seemingly at a loss for words.

"Now, would you like a table, dearies? I'm afraid I have customers to tend to, so if you'd like to stay just find a seat," Muffet says, and with a click of her heels she walks over to clean off a table.

There's a beat of awkward silence between Deacon and the couple before the the man leans in and jabs your friend in the chest with his finger, saying something quiet enough that you can't hear. With a fluid motion, Deacon grabs his wrist and twists it down, making the man gasp and bend forward to follow his arm. The woman lets out a soft cry and covers her mouth.

"Don't make me find a soldier to escort you and your wife off this mountain," Deacon snaps, then lets him go. The humans shoot him a glare and hurry out the door.

Silence accompanies him as he crosses the parlor back to your table. You and Sans watch him as he sinks down into his seat, then take hold of your half-full glass of spider cider and take a long pull before setting it down. He lets out a loud sigh and runs a hand through his hair, glancing over at the two of you as you stare at him.

"What?" he asks, raising a brow. When you don't immediately answer he points at the drink. "That's pretty good, by the way, considering it's made from spiders."

"What did that guy say to you?" you ask, wondering what it could have been to get Deacon so angry.

He grimaces, looking down at the table and away from your eyes. "He made a very crude remark, insinuating something about myself and Muffet. And how disgusting I am," he says, shaking his head. "Racist asshole."

Oh. Frustration and anger twists in your stomach as you frown at the floor. Because how could anyone ever stand up for a monster unless they were screwing, right? Is that what they'll say about you, when they find out about you and Sans?

Sans threads his fingers through yours and you glance at him. The lights in his eyes are dim but he's regarding Deacon a little differently, you think. "you did good, helping her out of a tight spot."

Deacon shrugs. "Someone had to do it. Might as well have been me."

When Muffet comes back to clear away your table she tells you not to worry about the check, and that she'll be more than happy to host a table at the school festival.

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