Would That Make You Happy?

Frisk is your child, the result of a teen pregnancy, but they've always been told that you're their older sister. In an effort to get away from your own abusive mother, the two of you end up falling into the Underground, where Sans is startled by this abrupt change in what had become a predictable pattern of events. Maybe your presence is what is needed to stop the endless cycle of Resets.

After many struggles, both internal and external, you and your found family reach the surface, only to face even more difficulties from the society you weren't sure you'd ever see again. You meet new friends and encounter people from your past, though for good or ill, you're not sure. Sometimes it's difficult to tell kindness from cunning.


35. I'm Listening

"Mom? What's going on?"

Frisk's voice pulls you back to your senses, breaking the shocked silence that fills the room. Undyne looks down at you with one wide, yellow eye and then over at Sans. He's cursing to himself, turning towards the wall and ducking his head behind the fluff of his hood. Did he just...?

"What did you say?" you ask him, letting go of Undyne's arm and taking a step closer to him.

Undyne turns on her heel and starts marching for the stairs. "OKAY squirt, how about we all give your mom and Sans some privacy, huh?!"

"undyne, hold on, you don't need to do that," Sans blurts out, and you can see the blue starting to creep across his face. He closes the gap between the two of you, and as your eyes meet you feel unsure again. Did he really mean what he said? Did he just blurt it out to catch Undyne off-guard? "can we go back to our room and talk, please?" he asks you gently, reaching out to take your hand. You let him, and something in your chest gives a pleasant squeeze. 'Our room' he said.

"Mom?" Frisk asks again, worry plain in their voice.

"I..." You and Sans search each other's faces for a brief moment before he releases your hand. "Let me talk to Frisk. Then I'll meet you there, okay?"

He looks relieved. He's not smiling, but his expression relaxes. "of course."

You approach Undyne on your way to the stairs. You're nervous, and don't really know what to expect from your talk with Sans, but you know for a fact that Undyne helped you. Drained from crying and feeling a little numb from the emotional roller coaster of the last hour, you wrap your arms around her middle and give her a hug. 

"Thank you for helping me earlier," you tell her. You realize she's a little cool to the touch.

"Really, it's fine," she says. She gives you an awkward pat on the back for a second before succumbing and bending over to wrap her arms around your shoulders. You can't help the surprised laugh that escapes you as she leans back and lifts you off your feet. With a squeeze almost tight enough to hurt, she sets you back down and lets you go. She fixes you with her eye and you're close enough to see her slit pupil narrow as she leans forward. "Don't you let him off easy. Make sure he apologizes."

You smile, glancing down at the floor. Her sudden affection has you feeling a little embarrassed. "Okay," you mumble.

A surprised cry erupts past your lips as she gives you a firm smack on the shoulder. "Now go talk to the squirt!"

As you climb the stairs you notice Sans standing by his —no, your— door, waiting for you. He must have teleported up there while Undyne had your attention. Frisk is standing with Papyrus, staring up at you with wide, concerned eyes.

"Why was Undyne yelling at Sans?" Frisk asks you, reaching out and taking hold of the front of your jeans. Their face scrunches up as they look up at you. "And why do you look like you were crying?"

You pull Frisk to you and stroke their hair as their arms go around your waist, hugging you. "Don't worry about it sweetie. There was an argument, but everything is going to be fine. Sans and I just need to talk. But it might take a while, so I don't know if I'm going to be able to say goodnight later."

"Is everything really going to be fine, or are you just saying that?" they ask, squeezing you tighter and grumbling into the softness of your stomach. "I don't want anything bad to happen!"

"Everything is going to be fine," you echo back to them, and when you look back over at Sans down the hall you can see him watching you. He's fidgeting a little, and he seems nervous. You're not sure if that's a good thing or not.

"Do you promise?"

"I promise."

"...Okay. Because I like it here."

"Me too."

When Frisk finally lets you go, you and Papyrus look at each other. There's a moment where you wonder if he's going to say something to you, and you can't help but think back to the morning that he warned you not to hurt Sans. But your concerns are quickly dashed as the tall skeleton claps his hand on Frisk's shoulder. As he asks them if they would like to return to their game that Undyne's shouts interrupted, you realize he's willingly serving as a distraction. You give him a silent 'thank you' and he nods in return before ushering Frisk back into the bedroom.

Alone in the hallway, you look at Sans. As your eyes meet again he opens the bedroom door and steps inside. You're caught between worry and anticipation, wanting to know if he meant what he said before but afraid to know if he didn't. You only hesitate for a moment. Staying out here in the hallway won't solve anything.

Sans is standing in the middle of the bedroom, waiting when you shut the door behind you. "i'm sorry," he blurts out, and he moves towards you as you rush towards him and you wrap each other up in your arms.

"I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have snapped at you," you say, burying your fingers in the back of his jacket as you tuck your head against his. You feel your throat tighten and tears prick your eyes.

"no, i should have just listened to you. you were upset and i was a jerk about it," he tells you, one hand buried into the thick waves of your hair to hold you close.

"I was just being dumb and insecure."

"no, no you weren't," he says, firmly. He tilts his head towards yours, smooth bone brushing your face. "you've been through so much, and sometimes i forget. that's my fault, not yours. of course you'd worry about that stuff with frisk. i'll talk to undyne and papyrus, we'll figure something out. i just want you to be happy, babe."

"I already talked to Undyne about it, earlier," you say, sniffling. "I just..." You swallow and try to resist the tears again, but you can't. Your voice cracks as you speak and you feel Sans hold you tighter. "P-please don't do that again. I can't... I thought you left!"

"i'm sorry," he says, rubbing small circles between your shoulders. You lean your weight on him as you cry, and he holds you up.

"Be mad at me, be angry, but please don't l-leave."

"i won't. if that's what you need, i won't."

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," you say again, because you just want everything to be okay.

"don't be. i screwed up."

"We both screwed up," you concede, sniffling and lifting your head enough so you can try to dry your face on your sleeve. "I... I guess this was going to happen eventually."

Sans pulls away enough so that he can look at you, and as the white lights of his eyes study your face he looks sad. "i hate knowing i made you cry," he says, voice low, and the frustration you hear is directed at himself.

You must be such a mess. Swallowing and sniffing to try and clear your nose, you turn away from him and wipe your face. Pulling yourself from his grip, you walk over to the bed and sit down, dragging your fingers through your hair. Your fingers catch on a tangle and you take a moment to pull it out.

Taking in a deep breath, you clear your throat once you feel a little put back together. Blinking and rubbing your eyes again, you look back up to see him watching you. His expression is solemn. "Are we okay?" you ask. You need to hear him say the words, or you'll keep worrying.

Sans comes to stand in front of you, nudging your knees apart so he can stand between them. He tucks your hair behind your ear as you look up at him, then he leans down to press his mouth to yours. You don't try to kiss much anymore, not in the traditional sense. You litter his face with kisses and he nuzzles you in return, because over the past month and a half you both figured out that unless tongues are involved, 'normal' kissing just doesn't work out. So when he 'kisses' you on the lips this time it feels significant. Like he's trying to show you something.

"of course we're okay," he says, pulling back just enough so that he can look you in the eyes. He cups your face in his hands and rubs a thumb along your cheekbone. The warmth of his bones is familiar and soothing. "i... i hope you know that i meant what i said earlier."

You can only stare as you wait for him to say more. You feel a little numb from everything, but even so something squeezes in your chest. Looking down to break eye contact, a hint of blue stains his face. "Do you?" you ask, your voice barely audible as you urge him to speak.

His eyes flick back to yours. "yes, i... shit, i never meant for you to hear it like that. i was gonna... i dunno, do something. anything other than shout it at undyne."

Your mouth twitches slightly as something inside you wants to smile. But you still feel so raw, even though you trust Sans it's so hard for you to believe him. How can he be sure? After everything, this still feels too good to be true. "But why?" you ask, searching his face.

"why do i...?" A small frown creases his brow and his hands fall away from your face. Your cheeks feel cold without his touch. "you don't believe me?"

Leaning forward, you rest your forehead against his sternum. His hands press against your shoulders, smoothing your hair down your back. He clears his throat. "or do you not feel..."

"No! That's not..." You hook your hands behind his legs, holding onto him. "I do, Sans. I just... It doesn't feel real. You said, before, that you were scared to be happy. I'm..." Your voice falters, and you press close against him. He hugs you. "I want to believe you, so much. But I'm scared."

"you told me not to be scared. you asked me if it was worth the risk."

"I know, it's just..." Squeezing your eyes shut, you draw in a shaky breath. "The last time I thought I was in love he left me. I thought I finally had someone who cared about me, who told me he loved me, and the second I found out..." Your grip on Sans tightens. He doesn't speak, like he knows you have more to say. "I understand why he left. Frisk and I weren't worth his future."

Sans eases you away from him, cupping your head in his hands and tilting you up to look at him. There's so much tenderness in his expression that it makes your chest ache. "i love you," he says, with so much sincerity you almost believe him. "and i'll gladly share my future with you. with both of you."

Your eyes well up with tears again, and as you smile an embarrassed laugh escapes you. "You're gonna make me cry again," you mumble, looking away and blinking to try and clear your vision.

"if they're happy tears, i'm okay with that," he says, leaning down to nuzzle your forehead. "but... i think you still have doubts."

You do. You want to tell him that you love him, because you do, but the admission catches in your throat at the thought of giving in. The parts of you that are afraid to give up that last scrap of safety, as if refusing to speak the words will protect you from heartache... they cling tight and refuse to let go.

"i think i know a way that i can show you, if you'll let me," he says. Sans removes a hand from your cheek to press over your chest. A tingling, warm feeling spreads under your skin.

It takes you a moment but you remember this feeling. You felt it when he coaxed your Soul from your chest before. What did your Soul have to do with this? But you trust Sans, and if he knows any way that might help... "Okay," you say.

Sans pulls his hands away from you and the tingling stops. He climbs onto the bed, sitting cross-legged as he gestures for you to join him. Obediently, you shift to sit directly in front of him, knees touching. You can't help but feel curious. "How is this going to help?" you ask.

Holding his hands out in front of him, you start to feel that warm, fuzzy feeling again. "i'm going to touch your soul. if it's anything like what i think it'll do... it'll give you an idea of how i feel." Before you can think of anything to say, he crooks his fingers and pulls his arms back towards his body.

Your wine-colored Soul lifts away from your chest and fills the space between you with a rich red glow. You aren't phased by the sight of it this time, or by the cracks that trace down the center, but... "Oh," you breathe, reaching up to try and cup your Soul in your hands, forgetting for a moment that it won't work. But you're so surprised, because the fracture at the top of the heart seems a little narrower, and you can almost swear that some of the smaller cracks look healed. Something like scars have mended them.

"that's... something i never thought i'd see," Sans admits, staring. He looks over your Soul to catch your eye, and when you look back at him he's smiling. "your soul started healing."

"Oh," you say again, because what else can you say to that?

Sans chuckles. "the healing power of love," he says with a wink.

You groan and he laughs harder.

"okay, sorry. while i'm glad, this isn't what i wanted to show you." Still grinning, looking more like his normal self, he returns his attention to your Soul. He raises his hands and as he inches closer towards it sweat starts to bead at his temples. "this might be, uh, a little intense."

That's the only warning he gives you, and it's an understatement. As his hands reach out and grasp your Soul, you gasp and reach forward to grab his legs. You can feel Sans, and you're aware of the fact that he can feel you too. His magic hums through his bones and fills him up, warmth spreading through him and through you, wrapping you up and making you feel safe. Safe. Safe and cherished and precious. Your eyes slide shut as your senses blur out of focus because it feels like you're seeing through two sets of eyes at once and it's making you dizzy. You choose to focus on that safe feeling instead, like being wrapped up in Sans's arms.

The more you pull the safeness around you, the more you start to feel. Passion and affection and wanting. The swelling fullness of love fills your chest until you think you might burst, and you think that maybe you might be crying. Or is Sans crying? You have no way of knowing, everything is smudging together and right now it doesn't matter. It's so overwhelming but so good and you feel yourself drawn deeper under the surface.

But as you slip beneath the happiness and love you begin to feel sobered. An uncomfortable buzz of static prickles through you, making you feel uneasy. Feelings brush against you like something slithering, sadness and fear and worry.

Then, all at once, it's gone. You snap back to yourself and you feel wetness on your cheeks and the dull ache in your head from all the tears you've shed today. Your eyes open in time to see your Soul slip back inside you, and when you look up at Sans he shakes his head. He's trembling beneath you, drawing in a shuddering breath.

"i'm sorry," he says, blinking hard. "that's not... that's not what i was trying to show you. you went too far. i wasn't expecting it."

"Did I...? I didn't mean to," you mumble. But that doesn't matter, because you felt everything on the surface, the love swelling up inside him —inside both of you. 

Before he can say anything else, you're crawling into his lap, wrapping your arms around him and holding him close. He melts under your touch as you press kisses along the side of his face and down his jaw. "i love you," he breathes. "i love you so much."

"I love you too, Sans," you finally answer, and you're smiling so wide you can't even stop to kiss him any more.

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