Would That Make You Happy?

Frisk is your child, the result of a teen pregnancy, but they've always been told that you're their older sister. In an effort to get away from your own abusive mother, the two of you end up falling into the Underground, where Sans is startled by this abrupt change in what had become a predictable pattern of events. Maybe your presence is what is needed to stop the endless cycle of Resets.

After many struggles, both internal and external, you and your found family reach the surface, only to face even more difficulties from the society you weren't sure you'd ever see again. You meet new friends and encounter people from your past, though for good or ill, you're not sure. Sometimes it's difficult to tell kindness from cunning.

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84. I Need a Moment

You hadn't even thought about Deacon's Soul when they started this. Didn't think that this might draw it out of him. He's pushing up onto his elbows, gaping at the green heart-shaped Soul when you reach him, kneeling down beside Undyne.

"Deacon?" you ask, with a gentle touch to his shoulder.

His eyes dart to yours and then back at his Soul. It's bright, brighter than yours and a pleasant shade, like pine needles still on the tree. The type of green you associate with Christmas. But the surface is... it looks scuffed. Scratched in places and clear in others. He sits forward and tries to cup it in his hands but his fingers pass through it.

"Is this...?" he murmurs, and you can't tell if he's scared or maybe... reverent?

Undyne pushes herself to her feet, taking a few steps back. "Shit, Asgore told me to be careful," she blurts out.

"W-we know you didn't do it on purpose," Alphys says.

"It's your Soul," you say, wracking your brain for the best way to explain. "I know this is sudden, and I'm sure you never expected this, but I promise that this is normal. It happens sometimes when you're around monsters, but I—"

Deacon's Soul sinks back into his body, now that Undyne calmed down and backed away. He holds a hand to his chest, staring at the ground and taking in a deep breath. "I never thought I'd see it," he says under his breath, barely loud enough that you can hear.

"Deacon, are you okay? I know this is just one more thing to add to your list of weird stuff that's happened to you today, but I know it's a big one." You lean in a little closer to him, trying and failing to gauge his reaction. His expression is unreadable.

But then his brow furrows a little, and he pulls his hand away from his chest and looks at it, like it holds some kind of answer. "But why was it scratched up? Is it supposed to look like that?" He finally looks at you again, his blue eyes searching your face.

Your lips part, hesitating before you speak. "I can't say exactly what caused it. It's very... personal, and probably none of my business. Mine is..." You turn to look over your shoulder at Sans where he's standing a little way off to the side, watching you. Undyne and Alphys are talking to each other quietly, and you think that Alphys is trying to comfort her. "Sans, can you help me show Deacon my Soul? I want him to—"

"no. no way," Sans snaps, frowning and walking over to you.

Taken aback by the harshness in his voice, you don't notice the other two monsters turning to look at you. "What? Why not?"

"i don't want you exposing yourself like that, it's not right," he says, his expression darkening.

You're confused, and feel like you're missing something. Did you say something wrong?

"Sans is right," Undyne says, looking a little uncomfortable. "You guys are engaged. You shouldn't be sharing stuff like that with other people, that's just... weird."

Oh. Suddenly embarrassed, you pull back a little from Deacon and curl your hand into a loose fist over your heart. "I'm sorry, I didn't... I didn't think of it like that," you say, cheeks warming and feeling stupid.

Deacon is pushing himself up to his feet and Sans helps you to yours, clutching your hand and threading your fingers together. The blonde still seems shaken, a little paler than normal you think. He's so fair skinned already it's hard for you to tell. He's not looking at any of you, instead focusing on unrolling his sleeves and tidying his hair.

"We should probably head back, I'm sure our lunch break is almost over," he says, reaching for his back pocket for his ID. He falters a little when he doesn't find it, but then Alphys bends down to pick it up off the floor and hand it to him. "Thanks." He meets her eyes for just a second and gives her a distracted smile.

You bite your lip. "Deacon if you need to talk about it—"

"Nope. I think I've got it," he says, looking for and finding his shoes. He kneels down to put them back on. "I just need a few minutes to make sure I don't have an existential crisis before my next class, I'm sure I'll be fine."

"Hey, I'm sorry if I freaked you out," Undyne says, walking up to him as he stands again. He hesitates to meet her eyes at first. "This Soul stuff isn't exactly a secret, but I know that Asgore and Toriel don't want to make a big deal out of it for as long as we can..."

Deacon's expression softens a little as he seems to realize what she's getting at. "I'm not going to go sell my story to the news, if that's what you mean. Come on, I just moved all my stuff. Talk about a hassle to pack everything up again."

Visibly relaxing, Undyne gives him a big grin. "Cool. Good, I mean... Yeah, good." She gives him a soft jab to his arm. "You should show me some more of that aikido stuff again."

You think he's going to refuse but he nods. "Yeah, sure. But, uh, really though. I'm going to go. This was fun, if not a bit... overwhelming. Hope, I might take you up on that offer to talk later." He glances over at Sans, then back to you. "If you don't mind."

"Of course not. Just let me know," you assure him.

"I-it was nice meeting you!" Alphys squeaks out, and Deacon gives her a little wave before leaving.

When the four of you are alone in the gym, you let out a loud groan and cover your face with your hand. "Oh my god, could that have gone any worse?"

"undyne could have suplexed him into the ground," Sans says, shrugging.

"HEY, I didn't hurt him!" Undyne says with an indignant look.

Alphys is twisting her girlfriend's jacket in her hands. "I think it went o-okay."

"It wasn't okay! Undyne you can't just fight everyone when you first meet, that's not how it works up here," you blurt out, your anxiety giving way to frustration now that Deacon's gone. "You could have hurt him, god knows he's probably even more freaked out than he already was. I don't think you guys realize just how much this is to take in all at once. No one is bothering to try and tone it down even a little bit to try and make things easier on him."

"hey, he knew what he was getting himself into coming to ebott. he wanted monsters, he's getting monsters," Sans says, frowning in the direction Deacon went.

"No, what he got was an eyeful of his Soul, and you guys don't seem to get the impact of something like that. We aren't raised with this concept of Souls being real. Like, yeah some religions talk about them but not in a tangible, physical way." You let out an agitated sigh. As much as you wish they'd understand, you don't think they can. 

"I apologized, I'm sure he'll be fine," Undyne says with a shrug. "I mean, look at us! Great friends and I tried to kill you when we first met."

"That isn't the sort of example you should be using, Undyne," you say, feeling some of your frustration slipping away. "I guess I'll just talk to him later, like he said. Make sure he's coping."

"hey," Sans says gently, squeezing your hand. You meet his eyes and you can tell he's trying his best to be reassuring. "if anyone knows how to help him it's you. you're great at making people feel better. i speak from experience."

With a weak smile, you wrap your free arm around his shoulders and hug him. You let yourself sag against him as you exhale, willing yourself to relax at least a little. "Yeah, you're right. Thanks, hun." He gives a small noise of acknowledgment and you let him go, then look at Undyne and Alphys. "I'm sorry for snapping at you guys, it's just... I want things to go well."

"Of course you do. W-we do, too. Especially with the Line opening next week," Alphys says, nodding. "I think we're just so used to you knowing most of this s-stuff. Having more humans around that aren't soldiers is going to be an adjustment for everybody."

"I don't feel like I know all that much, especially after that mess with my Soul. Did I just... what did I imply when I asked you to help me show it to him?" you ask, wincing.

Alphys clears her throat and Undyne turns towards her, looking away from you. Sans reaches out for your other hand, so he's holding both of them. His cheekbones are the barest hint of blue as sweat dots the side of his skull. He looks uncomfortable, gritting his teeth. "do you remember when i said to you, 'my soul is yours and yours is mine'?"

"Oh. Oh, Sans I'm sorry!" you say, trying to reach up to cover your face but Sans tightens his hold on your hands. Instead you just lean forward, hunching your shoulders as you try to hide. "You meant that literally, didn't you?"

"Oh my god Sans, you didn't explain your proposal to her?!" Undyne blurts out, and when you glance at her she looks offended.

"I-I thought you didn't do a traditional proposal, Hope said it was on accident," Alphys says, wide-eyed.

"guys, do you mind?" Sans says, gritting his teeth.

"Oh!" the doctor reaches for her girlfriend's hand, tugging her away towards where her shoes are still sitting beside the tumbling mat. "M-maybe we should give them some space."

"But I want to hear him explain in case he gets something wrong," Undyne protests, but lets Alphys pull her along. You expect those two are going to grill you later on what he's about to say to you. You're not sure if you love the idea or hate it. Maybe both.

"Sans, you should have said something," you murmur, blushing as you look at him. "I wouldn't ever have suggested it if I knew what my Soul meant to you. I... I should have known, shouldn't I? You've always been so protective about—"

"babe, it's fine. it's not your fault," he says, pulling on your hands to tug you closer.

"I just... asked you to help me... I dunno, cheat on you or something," you say, shaking your head.

"he didn't know that. it would have only sounded like that to a monster," he reassures you, giving you a nipping kiss on your cheek. It tickles a little and makes you smile.

"So what's a traditional proposal for monster then?" you ask, feeling a little better but still embarrassed.

Sans glances away, shifting a little on his feet. "uh, well. the part i said to you is normally the bit after you say yes. which we did. usually the asking part is a bit more clear and... not on accident," he says, blushing a little bit more. "instead of 'would you marry me' it's, um, 'would your soul join its song with mine?' because—"

"Yes," you say, smiling at the surprised look on his face. "I will."

His smile widens and he squeezes your hands. "you did that on purpose," he says, raising a brow.

"Maybe," you answer, giving him a coy look. "But I interrupted you, I'm sorry."

"um... what was I saying?" He blinks, looking a little lost. "oh, right. uh, because to us, when we sense souls, it has like... a humming sound sort of. it's more of a feeling, but it's hard to explain when you don't know what it's like. so when two monsters get married and commit to one another, a sort of harmony forms between their souls. like, when i hear toriel's soul, i hear a little bit of asgore's too. it's fainter than it normally would be because they... well you know."

"That's beautiful, but..." Your smile falters a bit. "Will we... can we do that?"

"your soul has a sound, too, so i don't see why not," he says, but he seems a little uncertain. "even if we can't, that doesn't matter. all that matters is we're together, right?"

"Yeah, of course," you say, but it feels like one more thing you won't ever be able to understand. Something else that makes you different. You push the thought aside, because like Sans says, it doesn't matter. You won't let it matter.

"we can just do the ring thing humans do. alphys was talking to me about that the other day. i've been meaning to ask you, if you wanted a ring," he says, looking a bit sheepish.

You'd be lying if you said you hadn't given it some thought. "I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, but... it would be nice."

"you're allowed to make a big deal. you're a big deal."

"HEY. HOPE! We're gonna be late, we have to go!" Undyne yells, breaking you and Sans out of your little bubble there in the middle of the school gym. The last place you thought you'd be having a conversation about proposals and marriage.

"I guess that's my cue to leave," you say, giving Sans an apologetic look.

"yeah, i'm sure alphys and i need to head back to the core," he says, nodding.

"DORKS! Let's go!"

   
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