Would That Make You Happy?

Frisk is your child, the result of a teen pregnancy, but they've always been told that you're their older sister. In an effort to get away from your own abusive mother, the two of you end up falling into the Underground, where Sans is startled by this abrupt change in what had become a predictable pattern of events. Maybe your presence is what is needed to stop the endless cycle of Resets.

After many struggles, both internal and external, you and your found family reach the surface, only to face even more difficulties from the society you weren't sure you'd ever see again. You meet new friends and encounter people from your past, though for good or ill, you're not sure. Sometimes it's difficult to tell kindness from cunning.


95. Choice

This is wrong.

Your fingers drag down the slick skin of someone's back, pressing into muscle and flesh. There are lips against yours and a warm, wet tongue dips into your mouth before drawing back again. Soft hands cup your breasts, and the man above you groans and trails kisses down your chest. His lips circle your nipple and he swipes over it with his tongue, but what makes you arch your back and gasp is the gentle sucking. It's been so long since you've felt that, something that requires cheeks and lips.

This is wrong.

You shouldn't be doing this. There's this feeling in the back of your head, rebelling against it but you can't stop. It feels too good and your body isn't listening. You feel hazy and content and you just want to feel that release. Trying to focus, you look down at the pale skin pressed into your breast and the blonde hair obscuring a familiar face. You push the damp strands out of the way and cup his cheeks and blue eyes meet yours. He raises his head and gives you a crooked smile, bending over you again to kiss you.

The insistent chiming of your cell phone pulls you out of your dream, leaving you disoriented. You fumble for your phone to shut it off and, drawing in a shaking breath, clutch your hands to your chest. What was that dream? Oh god, who was... No no no... Squeezing your eyes shut, you grimace and try to ignore the lingering ache of arousal between your legs. But closing your eyes just brings back the images of... oh no... of Deacon flushed above you.

Opening them again, you stare at the window and the pre-dawn sky as a feeling of dread coils low in your stomach. No, you can't be thinking that way about Deacon. He's your friend, and you're in love with Sans for crying out loud! What the hell is wrong with you?

This can't be happening. Fear tightens your chest and you wonder what this could mean. For you, for Sans. Oh god, Sans. Is this some kind of subconscious sign that there's something wrong with your relationship? If you really loved him, how could you possibly be having dreams about someone else?

You move to scoot out of bed and a thick, bony arm wraps around your waist and pulls you back against a hard ribcage. Sans nuzzles the back of your neck, burying his face in your hair and grumbling.

"don't go," he says, muffled by your skin.

You could cry. Your throat tightens and guilt presses down on you, heavy and stifling. Part of you wants to pull away and lock yourself in the bathroom and wonder what the hell is wrong with you. The other part wants to roll over and wrap him up in your arms and kiss him and tell him how much you love him until you feel better. Sans's hand drops to your hip and squeezes, pulling you back against his pelvis as his teeth graze your shoulder.

Your second want ends up winning.

You can't avoid Deacon at school. It's not his fault you're having weird dreams, and the two of you have work to do to finish up a few things for the Halloween Festival. Which is tomorrow.

You blame the dream on spending so much time with him. You've probably seen him more than Sans for the past three weeks, so that has to be the reason. After this, things will just go back to normal. How many times have you told yourself that this month?

The two of you are carrying pumpkins from the gym where they were stored out onto the field where everything is set up. There's a small stage decorated with spider webs (courtesy of Muffet and her spiders) and carved pumpkins, a small network of stalls and tables for games and food. It's an impressive setup. Mettaton and a small team of his employees from the hotel have been getting things put together all week. The robot is suspiciously absent today, but you see a handful of other monsters still working.

You're technically on your lunch break but you don't have time to sit around and talk, much to your relief. Deacon keeps trying to make conversation but you're so distracted that you're missing his jokes half the time. He finally stops you when you head back into the gym to get more pumpkins, the final straw being when you unconsciously flinch away when you both reach for the same one and your hands touch.

"Okay, what's wrong?" he asks, crossing his arms over his chest and raising a brow. You meet his eyes for a second and look away, shaking your head. "You've been completely out of it this whole time and you'll barely even look at me."

Of course he noticed. You've been acting totally different than you normally do, and he's your friend, isn't he? You force yourself to look at him, really look and you expect to feel something, anything, different. But it's just Deacon. He looks a little worried, with a small crease between his brows and his shirt is a bit wrinkled up from lifting and carrying but it's still him. You think about your dream, try to imagine him kissing you and aside from a slight queasiness you don't feel any different. That's good, right?

You sigh and rub your forehead, shielding your eyes. "I'm sorry, I just... had a weird dream. It's been messing with my head all day," you admit, grimacing.

"What kind of dream?" he asks, uncrossing his arms and stooping down to pick up another pumpkin. His expression relaxes a bit.

"I'd... rather not talk about it."

"Well, unless you have some kind of prophetic powers you never told me about —which would be kinda cool, I admit— it was just a dream."

You need someone to talk to about this. You obviously can't talk to Deacon, that would just be uncomfortable and you get the distinct impression he might just tease you about it. And you can't talk to Sans. Well, you probably could, but you can't imagine it going well. He has horrible nightmares about you dying, or of things Resetting and him losing you. He just had one two nights ago. How can you tell him that you're worried that something's wrong with your feelings for him?

Maybe you could get him to share your Soul, to make sure your love is still as strong as ever, but what if it wasn't? It would crush him, crush you and you just can't handle that right now. You love him. You know you love him, and like Deacon said, it was just a dream.

Just a dream.

You track down Undyne before she leaves at the end of the day, sending Frisk home with Toriel. You really ought to do something nice for her, she's been taking care of them for you almost every afternoon for the past three weeks. At first Undyne says that she's going to be busy the rest of the day, but once she sees the look on your face she sends a few texts and tells you to give her a ride. Normally she jogs to and from work, even though she lives at least five miles away. Maybe it's closer to ten.

Once you're in the car you try to start telling your friend about what happened, but she tells you to wait until you get to the house. When you get there you realize why. Alphys is standing in the dining room, wrist-deep in the back of Mettaton's torso with a screwdriver between her teeth. He's slumped forward on the table, seated sideways on a chair. An assortment of metal bits and electronic hardware are spread out beside his head.

"Hello darling!" Mettaton's voice comes from behind you and you let out a startled squeak, nearly jumping out of your skin as you turn around to face the sound.

He's back in his old rectangular body, waving at you with an oversized hand as his red and yellow display flashes a crude smiley face. It's a little jarring; you haven't seen him use that body in months. Not since the Core's power was routed to the surface and he had a stable way to recharge.

Undyne scowls at him. "Buzz off, we need to have some girl talk," she says, putting her arm around your shoulders and leading you to an empty chair at the table.

You try not to stare too much at Mettaton's limp humanoid body. It's kind of creeping you out a little.

With an agitated, metal grinding noise, Mettaton rests his hands on his flat equivalent of hips. "I'm not leaving the house like this."

"Go visit Napstablook. They were asking about y-you the other day. You've been n-neglecting them again," Alphys says, sounding distracted as she leans forward and squints at something inside the robot's back panel.

He doesn't say anything. Taking the hint, he rolls down the hall and out the door. Undyne makes a rude noise between her teeth, something like a sharp hiss before looking at Alphys. You can't help but smile at the way her expression relaxes before she leans over to wrap her arms around her girlfriend and kiss her cheek, ignoring the doctor's squeak of protest. If anyone might be able to help you, it's these two, right?

"Wait, aren't you supposed to be at the Core still?" you ask Alphys, your mind going to Sans.

"We've just been in maintenance mode, no new testing until after Halloween. With the i-influx of humans we're expecting, Asgore asked me not to change anything. And I p-promised Mettaton I'd do something about his power issues," she says, then yanks a tangle of wires out of the robot's back. It makes you cringe. "Sans said he'd h-handle it this afternoon."

Undyne hoists herself up to sit on the table, wrapping her fingers around the edge and hunching her shoulders. She's watching Alphys for a moment before her eye meets yours from over where her girlfriend is working. "So what's up? Seems like something is really bothering you."

Alphys wipes her hands on the front of her labcoat, leaving greasy smudges. She adjusts her glasses with the back of her hand and looks at you. "We're both here for you, Hope. I know we've been r-really busy lately..."

"Yeah, trust me I know what you mean. This past month has just been one thing after the other," you say, sighing. You cross one arm over your chest, cupping your elbow as you rest your cheek in your hand. You grimace as the two of them watch you. "I'm... I'm worried that there's something wrong. With... with me and Sans."

"WHAT? No way!" Undyne blurts out, her own surprise mirrored on Alphys's face. "Did he do something again? If it was just a fight—"

"No, it wasn't a fight. He hasn't done anything wrong. It's me, I—" you feel yourself blushing, embarrassed and upset and guilty all at once. "I had a dream about Deacon."

"I don't get it. What's so bad about a dream?" Undyne asks, raising an eyebrow.

"O-oh! You m-mean like a..." Alphys is blushing too, wringing her hands together. "A naughty dream?"

"Oh, what?! You had a sex dream about Deacon?"

"Guys, please!" you blurt out, wondering if this was really a good idea.

The doctor's brow furrows, her tail sweeping the floor as her eyes go distant. You recognize that as her 'problem solving' face. "Oh gosh. Do you have f-feelings for him? Is this like a l-love triangle? You know they use that plot device in a lot of animes, I could give you a list—"

"No! Not like a love triangle. I don't have a crush on Deacon, I just had this dream. But I don't know what it means," you blurt out, groaning and burying your face in your hands.

"Hey, okay," Undyne says, and you hear footsteps approaching you before you feel her hands on your shoulders. Peeking between your fingers, she's crouching in front of you putting herself at eye-level. "It was just a dream. It's not like you went and did anything."

"Y-yeah, you can't control your subconscious," Alphys adds from behind Undyne. She gives you a weak smile.

"Well my subconscious needs to knock it off." Your voice is strained as you shake your head. "If I really love Sans, why would I be having dreams about someone else?"

The fish monster scowls, baring pointed teeth. "Nothing is dumber than, 'if I really love somebody, blah wouldn't happen.' Or would happen. Come on, Hope. You know that love isn't just perfection and fucking sunshine all the time. It's WORK."

"Exactly. L-like, I've had dreams about other people. Well, characters. Um, anime characters," Alphys says, and when you glance up at her she's going a bit redder in the face. "There was this time, uh, I had a dream I was in Mew Mew Kissy Cutie and you know how she has that power where if she kisses someone she can control them? Welltherewasthisdreamwhereshekissedmeand—"

"OKAY babe I think she gets the point," Undyne blurts out, and you think you spot some purple staining her cheeks as she winces. 

"O-oh! S-sorry..." the doctor mumbles, turning away and hiding her face behind her hands. "Ohmygod that was embarrassing..."

"No, uh... That actually makes me feel a little better," you admit, folding your arms over your stomach and giving Undyne a weak smile.

Undyne looks away, frowning a little and sighing. Then, as she collects herself, she fixes you with a steady gaze. "Okay, listen. When Alphys and I had this dumb fight a bit after we moved in together, I went and talked to Asgore. He had some advice that might help. Sorry if I mess up the exact wording but it was something like this..." She clears her throat and behind her you can see Alphys watching her. "Love isn't always easy. I think you already know that part, though. You and Sans have been through a lot and I don't think that something like this is going to mess you guys up unless you LET it. Asgore said that sometimes love is a choice. At first it feels like this all-consuming thing, like a fire. But you can't keep burning like that forever, so it dies down, I guess. Sometimes you have to choose to keep it going. Sure you could walk away to go stand at someone else's fire, or you can feed yours."

She grits her teeth and looks away, shaking her head. "I don't know if I said that right... He had this whole fire metaphor going and—"

You wrap your arms around Undyne's neck and hug her, hunching forward in the chair. She makes an odd noise in the back of her throat and hugs you back, standing and pulling you to your feet. And then off your feet because she's so damn tall. With a yelp of surprise, she squeezes you tight and sets you back down on the ground.

"I think I get what you're trying to say," you tell her, smiling weakly. "Thanks, Undyne. And Alphys, you guys are both great friends. I guess I'm just overthinking this..."

"Y-yeah, exactly! Hope, we all know how much you love Sans."

"Yeah, punk. Just remember that it's your choices that are important. I mean, sometimes I think about other people but that doesn't mean I love Alphys any less," Undyne says, clapping her hand on her shoulder. "Just means I still have one good eye left."

Alphys frowns a little behind Undyne's back but you can't help the small, anxious laugh that bubbles up inside you.

That whole fire metaphor thing Undyne was trying to tell you was all about choice, right? Of course you choose Sans. You'll always choose Sans.

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