Would That Make You Happy?

Frisk is your child, the result of a teen pregnancy, but they've always been told that you're their older sister. In an effort to get away from your own abusive mother, the two of you end up falling into the Underground, where Sans is startled by this abrupt change in what had become a predictable pattern of events. Maybe your presence is what is needed to stop the endless cycle of Resets.

After many struggles, both internal and external, you and your found family reach the surface, only to face even more difficulties from the society you weren't sure you'd ever see again. You meet new friends and encounter people from your past, though for good or ill, you're not sure. Sometimes it's difficult to tell kindness from cunning.

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20. Afraid to be Happy

Sans jerks awake, fingers digging into a balled up pillow he doesn't remember grabbing. His bones are humming with fear as his eyes fly open and he takes in his empty bedroom. He spots the bit of tape stuck to his wall, a remnant of the note he made sure to remove before you had the chance to see it. It would just confuse you. But even without the note still attached, it's a tangible reminder of where —when— he is. He slowly relaxes his grip on the pillow.

A sharp-toothed grin, wicked glowing spears, and flashing yellow eyes haunt the back of his mind. Fucking Undyne. Part of Sans is still furious with her, even though he knows that he should have expected what happened. Hell, there had been times that... Well, it's pointless to keep track of how many times Undyne and Frisk killed each other. But seeing her facing you down was terrifying. He can still remember the first thought that entered his mind when he caught sight of your cracked Soul, the rage he felt at the belief that Undyne had done that to you.

But Undyne is one of Papyrus's best friends. If anything happened to her, his brother would be heartbroken. Sans is glad that things were resolved the way they were, for everyone's sakes.

Sitting up in bed, he checks his phone. His hands are shaking slightly, and he feels jumpy, but he tries to ignore it. No messages from Papyrus, but he sees one from you sent ten minutes ago.

'Made you a sammich anyway. Left it in the kitchen. Taking a shower. <3'

The goofy little heart makes him smile. Then, he feels an uncomfortable lurch in his chest, making his grip tighten on the phone. He squeezes his eyes shut.

He's making a huge mistake. This is so damned hard, and God, if this ends up in a Reset... Why is he doing this to himself? To you? He's so happy, and so fucking scared, and he has to set the phone down before he cracks the screen with how tight he's squeezing it. It was so much easier to be numb to it all, to just go through the motions and not care so damn much. Over and over...

He wishes he hadn't survived the lab accident.

That intrusive thought makes his eyes fly open and he forces himself to his feet. No. He's not letting himself go there. Today is supposed to be a good day, and he's not going to let these fucking thoughts ruin it.

Fuck.

He shoves everything he's feeling down into what would be the pit of his stomach, if he had one. All the fear and worry, even his happiness gets caught in the middle and tamped down. If he lets any of those emotions through to the surface, he feels like they'll all come rushing out together.

Sans gets dressed, shoving his phone in his pocket.

You're still in the shower. He can hear the water running, and as he hesitates outside the door he can hear you humming an unfamiliar tune. Probably some song from the surface. He thinks about knocking on the door, but decides to leave you be.

He heads downstairs.

The house is quiet, even a little lonely without Papyrus's voice carrying down from his bedroom, or shouting at the television. Thinking of Papyrus, Sans walks over to his pet rock, takes the rock out of the box, and shakes the sprinkles into his hand. He puts the rock back. The sprinkles are tossed into the trash when he enters the kitchen. That way his brother thinks he's been doing something good by 'feeding' it.

He spots the plate you left him sitting on the kitchen table. Beside it is a bottle of ketchup. The sandwich is perfect, like a photograph. The fillings are layered carefully, placed exactly in the center of the bread. Just the right amount of lettuce poking out the sides, a glimpse of a corner of cheese. You took time with this. You cared about making this for him.

On top of the sandwich, in bright red ketchup, is the outline of a heart.

Sans can't stop it. His eyes swim and he's sobbing into his hands, sinking down into the chair in front of the plate you set for him. It hurts. Everything hurts. Everything he shoved down is rushing back up, overwhelming every thought and every sense.

He's so happy.

He's so scared.

He doesn't want to lose this moment to a Reset. He doesn't want to lose you.

He thinks he's falling in love with you, and it might just break him apart.

Freshly showered and dressed in some new clothes (thankfully Snowdin's rabbits are fairly human-shaped) you emerge from the bathroom with a puff of steam. You feel clean, refreshed, and if you're being honest with yourself, pretty damn great. There's a certain satisfying soreness to your thighs, and you haven't been able to stop smiling.

You wonder if Sans is awake, but if he's still napping you don't want to bother him. If he's up he's probably in the kitchen, if he saw your text from earlier. Patting at the wet knot of hair tied at the back of your head to make sure it's still in place, you head downstairs.

When you hear Sans, you take a second look at the dark television to make sure it's not on, because the last thing you expect to hear is crying. A few quick steps takes you to the kitchen. Freezing in the entryway, you see him sitting at the kitchen table with his face in his hands. Your heart squeezes painfully in your chest.

"Sans?" you murmur, taking a tentative step into the room.

He jumps at the sound of your voice, head jerking up to look at you. His face is tear-stained and the pinpricks in his eyes are dim, sockets wide in surprise. Pushing himself to his feet, hands gripping the table for support, he shakes his head, cursing under his breath. He rubs at his face with blue sleeves. You can see he's trembling.

You cross the room with long strides, ignoring the hand he raises to try and ward you off. "Sans, what's wrong?" you ask, fear making your voice pitch high. You take hold of the open flap of his jacket. "Is it Papyrus and Frisk? Did something happen?"

Sans looks up at you, confused. "w-what? no, i haven't heard anything..." He starts fumbling with his pockets.

"Then what's wrong? Are you okay?" You ease your grip on him, unsure of what to do. Reaching out, you run a hand along his side.

He pulls out his phone with one hand, rubbing at his face again with the other. He turns away from you, just enough to angle his shoulder towards you. You let your hands fall back to your sides.

"shit, i didn't... papyrus sent me a message a few minutes ago, they're almost back." Sans shoves the phone back in his pocket, patting his face with his sleeves. "fuck."

"Sans. What's wrong?" you ask him, worry making your stomach do somersaults in your belly. "Talk to me."

"i can't do this right now." he's shaking his head, trying to push past you out of the kitchen.

You grab his sleeve, and you can hear the blood rushing past your ears. "Did I do something wrong?"

Sans stops, looking up at you with an unfathomable expression. "no, babe. you didn't do anything..." He blinks, letting out a slow, shaky breath. "i'm just scared."

"I don't understand. About yesterday?" You want to hug him, but Sans is rigid and closed off from you.

He lets out a humorless laugh. "it's so much more than that. i just..." Sans grimaces. "please, i can't do this right now. i need to get my shit together before pap gets home."

"What? Sans, your brother cares about you, I care about you. Talk to us." You reach out to try and embrace him but he shrugs away, shaking his head.

"you weren't supposed to see me like this," he says, giving you a pleading look. "please, babe, i can't do this right now. and you can't tell papyrus. just..." His eye sockets start to water, and he lets out a frustrated sound. "i don't want him to worry about me. i don't want you to worry either, but i guess it's too late for that, huh?"

"Yeah," you say, feeling your own vision start to blur. You take a deep breath and swallow back your tears. "Please talk to me. Later?"

He nods after a moment of hesitation, glancing away. When he looks back at you, he has his trademark grin fixed on his face, and if you didn't know any better you'd think nothing was wrong. The knowledge that he's so skilled at hiding behind those smiles fills you with sadness.

You jump when you hear the scrape of keys in the front door, and it takes you a second to realize that Sans has vanished from your side and is back at the table, eating his sandwich. For a moment you panic, trying to think of something to do so you're not just standing in the middle of the kitchen, but the door is already opening.

"Mom, we're home!" Frisk cries out, catching sight if you in the kitchen and running straight for you.

You don't get a good look at them before they've wrapped their arms around your middle, and you take a step backwards to keep yourself from getting knocked over. Their blind excitement gives you a second to catch yourself and rearrange your face into a smile. "Hey, sweetie! Did you have a good time? What did you..." You look down at them, catching a strange scent. "Why do you smell like smoke? Papyrus where did you—"

You look up towards the door in time to see Papyrus come inside, followed by a very familiar —and very unexpected— face. Your grip on your child tightens as your gaze meets Undyne's, a backpack slung over one of her shoulders. She looks a little annoyed, then breaks eye contact to stare at something in the living room.

"GUESS WHO'S GOING TO BE STAYING WITH US, BECAUSE HER HOUSE ACCIDENTALLY BURNT DOWN?!"

   
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