Eucatastrophe ~ h.s.

This isn't how I planned any aspect of my life to occur.

The plan was simple: Finish university with a 4.0 GPA, Get a well-paying corporate job that's more intense than the assistant job I've now, Find a man that loves me for me, Get married at a gorgeous ceremony, Have beautiful children, Grow old with the man of my dreams and watch our kids mature right before our eyes, and Then fall deeper and deeper in love with our time together.

That Night wasn't supposed to happen. My life wasn't supposed to turn out like this.

*Contains: Language, mild sexual content, and a bit of violence. Content could be triggering for some.*

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30. ✗ twenty-nine ✗

SHAY

19 June

Harry has the worst time letting me go. And to be honest the feeling is mutual, but I hold it together better than he.

We've literally spent ten minutes outside Harry's car as Gemma sits in the driver's seat, watching us through the tinted glass. He won't untangle his arms from around my waist and keeps begging me to spend the day with him.

He acts like a small child. A very adorable small child.

Last night was quickly forgotten once we both fell victim to slumber and when we woke tangled up with each other neither of us brought it up. I was very glad for that fact. But now I have to deal with clingy Harry, which is a very cute version of the man that I have fallen in love with.

"You have to let me go." I tell him after another minute of tight hugs from him.

"I don't wanna." I roll my eyes and pat his back, pulling from his grip. Thankfully his arms fall from me. "Fine." He groans, glancing over my shoulder towards where his sister waits. "I really want to say bye to the baby though." He pouts and I roll my eyes again, clutching my bag to my person.

"Well, then you should have thought about that when we were in your room." I whisper, leaning up on my tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips. "Have fun with your parents. I'll see you later." Harry sighs and leans down, kissing me once.

"Keep your phone on and make sure Gemma watches her speed."

"Goodbye." I sing-song as I walk backwards to the car.

"Shay, I'm serious. Be careful." He adds, a smile nowhere on his lips. I sigh and nod my head before turning and walking towards the car. "Shay, please be careful and if you need anything you call me."

"I will. I lo-" Shit! "Uh, will see you later!" I shout, basically running into the car.

I can't believe I almost said it.

I jump into the passenger seat of Harry's car, that he so graciously let his sister borrow after an hour of arguing, and slam the door shut. From now on I'm going to filter everything I say through my brain first, I won't have another slip up, especially after last night.

"Finally! I thought he'd never let you go!"

"Yeah," I chuckle, grabbing my seatbelt and buckling myself in as Gemma backs out of the drive, "he has a hard time letting go for some reason."

"Clearly." She laughs, turning onto the road and driving out of from the house. Gemma had taken the train into town so she asked to borrow Harry's car. I'm thankful that he's stuck with his mum and Robin so that he won't sit and worry or come following after us. "He's very protective of you, isn't he?" I lick my dry lips before nodding.

Relax, boyfriends are protective of their girlfriends. You guys have nothing to worry about.

"Uh, yeah."

"I've actually never seen him like that before."

"Really?"

I find myself happy and slightly surprised with her words. I had always wondered if Harry had ever had another serious girlfriend. I can't imagine him not having another girlfriend. He's an attractive, young man with dreams and a lot of kindness, surely he's been with someone before. And surely, he's been protective of them. He still might have been a bit protective, but at least he didn't treat me the same way he treated her, or them.

"Oh yeah, he's only ever had like two other serious girlfriends, but they didn't last long and trust me you have nothing to worry about. One of them was when he was sixteen and it was with this really stupid chick. I mean she was crazy. I think mum actually kicked her out of the house once after she snuck in to see Harry." Just the thought of Harry with another girl makes my skin crawl. I've never been known to be the jealous type, but maybe I am. "She's now shacked up with some dick in France, I think."

"And the other girlfriend?" I find myself asking curiously. Gemma gives me a sideways glance before training her eyes back on the road.

"It was like four years ago and lasted for maybe six months. She really liked him, but he didn't feel the same about her. When they broke it off the girl was a bit pissed, but she understood where Harry was coming from. It was right after our dad died so his behavior was understandable. But you," She pauses and pokes my leg, "there is something really special with you."

I smile largely and try to focus my attention outside the car so that Gemma won't see me smiling crazily. "Harry's always smiling at you when you're not looking, he's always got to have his arm around you or his hand in your hand, and then there's just the way he acts around you. If I didn't know better I would say he's finally found his girl."

I feel the tears pricking my eyelids at her words and fight the urge to cry, not wanting to alarm her. I can't help the emotions though. I wonder if I really am the girl for Harry, the girl he'll want to spend the rest of his life with.

"Thanks." I tell her, smiling over at her.

"You're welcome Shay. I like you a lot more than those girls too. You're pretty cool and," Her eyes scan my outfit before meeting my face briefly, "you've got a great sense of style, thank God. I don't think I'd be able to fully approve of a girlfriend of my brother's if she didn't have a lick of style in her, and of course if she were a bitch." Gemma laughs, causing me to laugh along with her.

It's surprising how I honestly already feel so comfortable with her. She makes me wonder what having a sibling would have been like.

"Well I do consider myself to be pretty stylish and I'm not a bitch, so you should nothing to worry about." Gemma laughs again, shaking her head lightly as she does so.

We're quiet the rest of the journey, listening to the songs that come on the radio and complaining when the station goes to advertisements only two songs in. I've learned a lot about Gemma just from watching her and spending the little amount of time that I have with her. I know she's very protective of her brother and wants what's best for him, even if they do bicker a lot of the time. I know that she, clearly, loves fashion and beauty way more than any girl I've ever met. I've found out that she takes pride in be kind to people around her, she loves kids, and is not afraid to have a bit of fun.

"Here we are!" Gemma announces pulling into a parking spot along the street.

We've pulled up outside a brick building with large windows out front, showing in beautiful items of clothing inside. The boutique's name is The Beauty Within, written in white and light pink colours. "Come on, let's shop 'til we drop." I follow in suit as Gemma hops from the vehicle and waits patiently for me. My phone dings from inside my bag, causing me to shuffle through the purse as I get out of the vehicle to meet Gemma. "What are you doing?"

"Sorry, somebody is texting me." I mumble, feeling awful that I hadn't put my phone on silent before our endeavor. "It's probably just my intern at work, she's a mess and I gave her a list of things to do this extended weekend whilst Harry and I are out of the office."

I finally free my phone and eye the text message as I walk behind Gemma into the boutique. I sigh heavily when I see the text, rolling my eyes.

Harry: Is everything going okay?

"Your intern?" Gemma says, holding the door open for me. I laugh lightly and shake my head.

"Your brother." Gemma groans and rolls her eyes, taking a peek at the text when I show her.

"That man has lost all trust in me I swear." Gemma says dramatically. "Text him back and tell him to leave us be." She pushes with a laugh before going over to the racks of clothing and talking with a woman near the edge of the room. I sigh and text Harry back.

Shay: I'm good. Babe, you have to lighten up. I'm turning my phone on silent and I'll text you later.

"I'm sorry about that. I don't know what his issue is." I say as soon as I've stuffed my phone away and placed it on silent. Of course I know what his issue is and he's making it more obvious by being so protective, not that I mind. He just needs to find his chill. Gemma just smiles and thrusts a few shirts into my hands.

"Don't bother, now let's sort clothing now and hair later."

"Hair?" I question, glancing at the tips of my dark brown hair that are cascading down over my shoulder.

"Yeah. I think you'd look absolutely gorgeous with a warm golden colour, maybe even blonde. I mean if you're interested. I'm going to get my touched up and I just thought I'd treat you." Gemma offers with a smile as her eyes go back to the racks of beautiful clothes. I turn and face the mirror that's hanging on the wall.

I've only ever dyed my hair once, back when I was still living with my parents. I went pink and my mother went ballistic. But now seems like a good time in my life to switch something up. I've been meaning to get it trimmed up a bit anyways.

"Sure." I finally say, turning towards Gemma. Her eyes snap up to my face and a huge smile grows on her lips. "But I still want it long." Gemma claps her hands before pulling me into an awkward side hug because of all the clothing items in her hands.

"Great. Harry is going to absolutely die when he sees the new you!"

^^^

HARRY

Shay: I'm good. Babe, you have to lighten up. I'm turning my phone on silent and I'll text you later.

"Harry, off the phone." Mum calls from the other side of the table. I groan lightly and lock my phone, placing it on the table's surface.

I can't help my worry. This is the first time that Shay's gone out in public without me. I can't seem to shake the worry that something will happen to her whilst she's out. I'll be devastated if something does and I'm not there to protect her or comfort her. "She's with your sister, calm down."

I drop my head into my hands and massage my temples, the feeling of a headache coming on.

"I know." I grumble, my mood taking an immediate 180 once Shay was out of my reach and out of my sight. "I'm just a little protective of her."

And the baby.

"Really?" She sarcastically implies. I look over at her to see her smiling largely and chuckling at me. "I've honestly never seen you like this before. It's quite an interesting thing to witness."

"I'm glad I'm entertaining you." I say and fight the urge to check my phone, even though I know she wouldn't have texted anything else.

I'm literally losing my mind sitting here in my old house, thinking about all the trouble that Gemma and Shay could get into. I know my sister and I know what she likes to do. Her favorite hobby is to bug the shit out of me, but behind that it's to have a good time. It's too early to go to a club and there's really nothing too troublesome the two could get into in Holmes Chapel.

Gemma likes to play the radio loud, what if that results in distracted driving and they crash? The thought alone makes me want to vomit.

"Dear, you look sick, are you alright?" I nod, not wanting to worry my mother, even though I know it's too late.

"I'm fine mum." I say with a sigh. I need to push all the worry to the back of my mind of today is going to be absolutely miserable. I will make myself sick. "Can we talk about the banquet?" I ask, trying to get my mind off of Shay, though it's hard because she's constantly on it.

"Well, I'd rather talk about your relationship with Shay." I sigh, knowing that there's no way around it.

"What would you like to know?"

"How'd you ask her out?" I sigh, a small smile coming to my lips when I thought back to that night in bed. It had been a rough night, but it had a great ending.

"Shay's been staying with me for a while, having issues with her flat. We went out to dinner one night with Louis and when we got back to the house I just kind of could not take not telling her how I've felt for the past four years. She looked so beautiful that it physically pained me not say something." I utter, feeling my heart warm at the thought of Shay's beauty.

She's beautiful without even trying, without a lick of makeup and first thing in the morning is when she is the most beautiful I've ever seen her.

"I told her how I felt and she admitted that she had feels for me too. Shay didn't want to say anything because I'm her boss, but it all worked out in the end I suppose."

"Will you get into any trouble at work?"

"Mum, I'm in charge, no one has the authority to tell me otherwise." I say sternly with a proud smirk on my lips. Sometimes I absolutely love being in charge of an entire company, but other times is God-awful. "We haven't told anyone either. You guys are the first to know, besides Louis I'm pretty sure he's figured it out by now, maybe."

"Gotta love that boy."

"Yeah." I mutter, smiling to myself.

That drunk conversation on the phone the night of the party wasn't the first time he had talked about Shay and asking why on Earth I had yet to make a move. He knew I liked her from the minute he caught my eyes on her. He also said it was obvious just by the way I talked to her, and that was two years into her working for me.

"It warms my heart seeing you like this, you know?" I shrug, staring over at my beautiful mother from across the table.

I don't see her enough. She mostly stays here, spending a good amount of time in Manchester as well, but she doesn't come to London too often. Most of the charities she works for are based out of Manchester, except ours of course. I feel bad that I don't come and visit more than I already do. Christmas and birthday's seems like the only time I do see my family, with Gemma as an exception.

"You are so happy, ever since Shay came into your life, even before you started dating her."

"I know."

"I'm not so sure you do." I narrow my eyes at her in a questioning way.

"What do you mean?"

"When you first started running the company after your father died, you were just putting on a happy face. We could see it, the devastation within you, the fake smiles, and the lying. But as soon as you hired on Shay, there was a change. At the time we didn't know about her, but we were very curious as the to reasons behind your true smile and ultimate happiness. We didn't question it of course. You did talk about her quite a lot with us."

"I did, didn't I?" I uttered, thinking back to all the times I would catch myself going into too much detail of a conversation that occurred between Shay and I or something cute and funny she did at work the prior week. I acted so insane.

"Do you love her Harry?" Mum asks out of the blue. I find myself smiling largely as I stare at the tablecloth on the surface of the table.

I've loved Shay since the first time she made me smile. I always just wrote the feelings off as a serious crush, until we started spending so much time together and, of course, when she moved in. I love Shay with everything my heart has to offer.

I love the way she laughs at my bag jokes. I love the way she looks in the mornings with her hair every which way and a sleepy look in her blue eyes. I love her work ethic and enthusiasm. I love how caring for others she is and how nice she is to those who don't deserve to have her kindness. I love everything about Shay.

"Yes, mum. I love her."

"Have you told her?" I shake my head no and pick my phone off the surface of the table, twirling it in my hands. "Why not?"

"I don't know, she's been through a lot lately," I pause, thinking up a lie, "she had been in a relationship with a guy and it didn't end well. He was an ass, so she's cautious when it comes to relationships now. I don't blame her at all though, I would be too if I went through what she went through. I don't want to push her away." Mum reaches across the table and places her hand on mine.

"You tell her when you're ready."

"Thanks mum." She sighs and pats her hands on the table's surface before sliding her portfolio in front of her.

"Now we can talk about the banquet."

&&&

SHAY

"Oh my God, he's going to love it!"

I laugh as Gemma turns the car onto the street that Harry's parents reside on. I find myself feeling the golden blonde locks again, for the thirteenth time since we've left the salon.

I was very hesitant when it got down to sitting in the chair and letting the stylist get to work, but I soon loosened up. I was also very nervous beforehand, searching the Internet like crazy on my phone to figure out if this was safe to do whilst pregnant. A few women had sworn hair dyes and nail polishes off like they were sins, but the majority of the medical websites said it perfectly safe. Now I can say I'm glad I went through with it.

"I hope so!" Gemma squealed as she turned into the drive in front of her parents' home.

I sighed and opened the door, hoping out of the car whilst smoothing my outfit down. Gemma made me change at the salon into one of the new dresses I had purchased, wanting to surprise Harry completely with new clothes and a new look. I had to agree with her though.

I did really want to see the look on Harry's face when I enter that house looking much better than I have in past.

In fact, I hadn't noticed until I was staring at my reflection in one of the mirrors at the salon that I've gained a bit of shape in my face again. Before all I could see was sunken in colourless blue eyes and prominent bony cheekbones. My lips had looked too big for my face without the fat on my cheeks to make them look normal in size. Now my lips look proportional again and my eyes have regained their colour.

"Come on." Gemma urges, grabbing my arm by the elbow and dragging me up the steps to the front door. She enters without knocking and calls out inside to anyone that may be home. I assume Harry's here since all he'd accomplished today was bugging me. "Hello! We're back!"

I hear the legs of a chair skid across the ground before Anne appears at the end of the hall. She takes one look at her daughter and then me before a toothy grin breaks out on her lips.

"Gem, Shay you both look gorgeous!" She compliments, walking over to her daughter and pressing a kiss to her cheek. Gemma strikes a pose and ruffles her hand through her hair before motioning over towards me. "Shay, I absolutely adore your new hair!" Anne comes over to me, taking me in a bone-crushing hug. I hug her back, wishing that my mother were as excitable and loving as she.

"Where's Harry?" I ask, looking beyond her into the house.

"Ah, out on the porch having a beer with Robin." She sends me a smile before winking down at me. I smile back at her, a bit confused by the wink.

Is she hinting at something that I should know? What did Harry tell her?

"Go." She orders, pushing me forward lightly. I nod and make my way to the back of the house quickly. I drop my bag down on the ground next to the door leading out to the garden and open said door.

Harry and Robin are facing away from me, the two of them engrossed in a conversation over the economy. Robin says something about Harry's business ethic, which gets Harry riled up, which ultimately leads to the both of them laughing loudly. I stay in my spot only a few steps away from the men, watching them interact. Their relationship gets me wondering about the relationship Harry will have with this child.

I wonder if that's what I'll tell my child, that Harry is his or her stepparent. It would be a logical lie, at least a lie I could keep until the child is old enough to understand the messed up truth. I can't believe that I'm even considering Harry to be a father, any type, at this point. I had a fear within me that as soon as the thought that I was pregnant sunk into Harry's head that he'd leave me to fend for myself. I know that will never happen though. He cares too much, he's told me. Harry will be an amazing father figure to this child, if he wants to be seen that way.

"If you think you can do it better than why don't you run the company for a day?" Harry fires back at the man laughing at his side with a beer bottle up at his lips. I place my hand over my mouth to keep quiet as I continue to watch them.

"The only person who should be running that company is you, son." Robin states, lowering the bottle from his lips. I find it hard to keep quiet any longer, so I decide to break my silence, even though I want this moment to last forever.

"What about me?" I question, causing Harry to jump and Robin to glance over his shoulder. "Can I have a turn running the company?" Robin laughs loudly and nods his head before looking to his stepson. Harry's gaze his cast upon his beer bottle as he quickly places it on the paved ground before standing and turning around. He freezes in spot when his eyes meet me.

"Shay-" He utters, eyes scanning me up and down before settling on my face, or rather my hair. My cheeks blush at the attention he's giving me, and I can't help but feel a bit awkward that Robin is sitting right here. "Your hair." His lips barely move as he speaks, part of me thinking that I've somehow broken him into a frozen state. I smile and nod my head, running my hand through my hair at the ends.

"Do you like it?"

"Like it?" He questions, shaking out of his frozen state and walking towards me. "God, I love it!" He exclaims, cupping my face in his hands before pressing a lovely, gentle kiss to my lips. He pulls away and looks at my hair, running his long fingers through the strands. "You look... look so gorgeous and beautiful." I blush and rest my hands on Harry's chest.

"Maybe I should have dyed my hair sooner then." I joke, loving that I've put him in this state. He's so flustered and giddy, like a child talking to a stranger. I glance over Harry's shoulder to where Robin once sat to find the space empty, beer bottle and all. He must have gone inside. "I wasn't sure you would like it."

"Shay, I would like you with your hair brown, black, blonde, pink, blue, green, or without hair at all." I chuckle lightly and shake my head, leaning forward to press a kiss to his clothed chest. I'm too lazy to stand on my tiptoes and really kiss him, though I really, really want to. "Did you have a good day with Gem?" He asks, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me into his front.

I momentarily still at the motion, our fronts being pressed together. Flashbacks of last night light up across my memory. I'm feeling better today, but not by much. If he so much as kisses me for too long, we're going to be in the same position.

"Uh, yes." I say, clearing my throat as I move my hips backwards so we're not touching our lower halves. "We shopped all day and went to this cute boutique called The Beauty Within. I spent way too much money there, by the way. We even drove over to downtown Cheshire to get our hair done at this salon where Gem knows the owner. That took the majority of the time whilst away. And then we had coffee at this cute little café, but don't worry I didn't drink any coffee because I know it's not-"

I'm cut off by Harry's lips on mine. I kind of started rambling to avoid this, but I'm not complaining now that I'm here.

"I love you, but you talk too much." I freeze, my breath getting hitched in my throat.

Did he just say he loves me?

The look on Harry's face says it all, the realization hitting him like a ton of bricks that he'd said those three words. The worse part is I can't tell if he regrets them or not.

"Kids!" We both jump apart at the sound of Anne's voice coming from the open doorway. "Robin is taking us out for dinner." She says, stepping out onto the pavement patio. She grabs my arms and turns me towards the door. "Harry, go get ready." She orders kindly.

My mouth is still ajar from when Harry said what he had said and he looks the same way. The worse part is we can't even talk about it because his mother is taking me away and telling him to go. Harry shakes his head at me and then begins to say something but stops himself for whatever reason. I wish more than anything in the world to be able to read minds in a situation like this. I need to know if he meant what he said or not. I need to know in order to stay sane.

"Chop chop!"

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