Eucatastrophe ~ h.s.

This isn't how I planned any aspect of my life to occur.

The plan was simple: Finish university with a 4.0 GPA, Get a well-paying corporate job that's more intense than the assistant job I've now, Find a man that loves me for me, Get married at a gorgeous ceremony, Have beautiful children, Grow old with the man of my dreams and watch our kids mature right before our eyes, and Then fall deeper and deeper in love with our time together.

That Night wasn't supposed to happen. My life wasn't supposed to turn out like this.

*Contains: Language, mild sexual content, and a bit of violence. Content could be triggering for some.*


35. ✗ thirty-four ✗


My feet are killing me. They hurt so bad that I'm almost positive they're bleeding inside my work flats.

Note to self: do not wear work flats on an all-day shopping quest.

My back is sore from standing all day and having the weight of my chest weigh me down. I always wished for bigger breasts and now I know that it's a bitch. I don't want them anymore.

My eyelids are so heavy that if I close them for even a second I think I'll be asleep.

Shopping with Gemma really does take everything out of you.

"We're home!" Gemma sings out as she pushes the front door of Harry's home inward. I follow in suit, my eyelids heavier than rocks, but I can't sleep yet because Harry promised to make us a home cooked meal.

"Finally!" I hear Harry shout back from around the corner. I can hear the desperation in his voice, it's like he's been sitting by the phone waiting for his lover to call home.

I enter the house and shut the door behind me, slipping my shoes off and dropping my bag onto the floor. Gemma turns to me and points at the dress bag in her hangs, as well as the other two shopping bags she's carrying.

"I'm going to put these in the closet upstairs in one of the spare rooms to assure that Mr. Nosy over there doesn't find it." I nod in agreement and just try to make it into the house without falling victim to sleep right in the middle of the floor. Gemma jogs up and out of sight as Harry pokes his head around the corner, a large smile takes over his features. I smile back, though it takes all the energy out of me to do so.

"Where's Gem?" I point upstairs and shuffle further into the house. Harry has changed out of his work clothes and is now wearing grey sweatpants and a black hoodie. I want nothing more than to put on the exact same attire. I need out of these constricting pieces of fabric. "Hey baby," Harry mutters as I walk into his open arms and rest my head against his chest, "you look exhausted."

One shoppe after another, the process had seemed never ending. I don't think I've ever shopped as much as I had today, ever. Usually my shopping sprees last less than two hours and I only really go into TopShop. I love their clothes and I can buy work clothing there as well.

The first mission today was to find the perfect dress, once that had been accomplished we had to find the perfect shoes. I'm just thankful that I could convince Gemma that I owned a clutch that I could take with me on Friday. We would still probably be out if that wasn't the case.

"I am." I mumble, squeezing my arms around Harry's waist in hopes that he'll just hold me tight until I fall asleep in his arms. I love being in his arms after a long day. "Your sister is crazy about shopping." Harry chuckles and shrugs his shoulders before placing a sweet kiss on the top of my head.

"Tell me about it." He whispers before placing another kiss to the top of my head. "Speaking of shopping, where's the dress?" I sigh and pull from Harry, taking his hand in mine and leading him into the kitchen so I can sit down. My feet will fall off if I don't get off them anytime soon.

"Gemma took it upstairs so that you won't snoop and see it before Friday." I mutter, my lips barely moving as I take a seat at the island. Harry walks over to the outside of the island and begins dishing up whatever chicken dinner he made for Gemma and I. It seems absolutely divine and I'm so pumped to actually eat it. "By the way, your credit card is in my purse."


I hear Gemma hopping down the steps and moments later I see her through the glass looking out at the hallway, seconds later she's joining us in the kitchen. Harry hands her a plate to which she thanks him with a kiss on the cheek before taking a seat at my side. "Gem, wine?" Harry asks his sister. Gemma nods as Harry places a plate down in front of me.

There's a nice size piece of chicken in the middle of the plate, with leafy greens and vegetables drenched in lemon cashew sauce at the side. There's also a bit of delicious looking potatoes. Harry knows I can never go wrong with potatoes. I love 'em.

Harry's the best cook in the world; I just wish he would cook more often. Not that I'm complaining about Chinese Take-Away.

"How was the rest of your day?" I ask as Harry rummages the wine cabinet beside the fridge. He shrugs his built shoulders before turning to get a glass and pour Gemma some.

I know how upset he was about me having to leave work earlier. Apparently I was "abandoning" him. We spent a good thirty minutes in bed, arguing playfully about whether I really had to leave work to shop with his sister. In the end I won, clearly.

"Same old, same old. I had a few phone calls and a meeting to attend, and then Louis brought it upon himself to show up unannounced. I love the man like he's my own brother, but I hate it when he does that. It throws me for a loop every time."

"Keeps you on your toes." Gemma points out after thanking Harry for the wine. Harry simply shrugs before leaning against the island. "Did he have a valid reason for dropping by or just to bust your balls like usual?"

"Oh no, we talked about the banquet mostly, when I could get Louis to focus. How he's managed to keep a company afloat with his short attention span is beyond me." I chuckle and dig into my food that I'm dying to eat. I can't tell if I'm more tired or hungry at this point in the evening. The chicken is absolutely delicious and cooked to perfection; it takes everything in me not to moan out in pleasure.

"We should have him over one night to thank him for watching the office whilst we were out." I say, taking another bite of my food. "We were out for quite a long time and he managed to keep your company going too. Plus, I feel bad that you had to stay with me whilst he did all the work." I look up at Harry to see him staring at me with slightly wide eyes. I shrug and shake my head, what's his problem?

"Whilst you were in Australia?" Gemma asks, making my eyes widen. I totally forgot she was sitting right beside me.

I gulp down my bite of food and sit up straight looking to Harry as if to help me out. Harry sighs and runs his hand through his hair. I can tell he wants to lie to his sister about as much as I do. I'm just not ready for the truth to be out there just yet.

"Uh, no. Shay was actually pretty sick and I was out of work helping nurse her back to health." Phew. "Like the wonderful boyfriend I am." I roll my eyes at his cockiness.

"Oh yeah, Harry mentioned that you were sick a while back. You're feeling better now?"

"Yes, much better."

I'd feel a whole hell of a lot better if I didn't have to lie to Gemma, and everyone else for that matter.

Maybe we should tell her. If we tell her know then she'll know and that's one less person I have to lie to. But then I'll feel guilty that we didn't tell Anne and Robin and I don't want them finding out from Gemma. I just can't keep lying to her face. It's killing me.

"Has the man finally found a girl to stick with him?" Gemma asks, pulling me from my trance. I want to tell her so bad, but I fight the urge by eating and keeping my mouth shut to watch the siblings interact. Harry laughs at his sister and shakes his head.

"Not that I'm aware of. Gem, you know Louis. He's keeping his options open." Gemma grumbles something to herself before taking a bite of food and shaking her head.

"That man needs to grow up."

"How long have you known Louis?" I question. Harry's known him for quite some time, but I didn't realize he knew the entire family as well. I suppose it's stupid of me to assume he didn't.

"I first met Louis when he was shagging my roommate on my couch at our shared apartment." My jaw falls open and I look to Harry. He rolls his eyes and sighs heavily whilst shaking his head. "Granted, I didn't know Harry knew him as well at the time I was too focused on shielding my eyes and trying to erase that mental picture of his naked body."

"Enough talk of Louis' body. He's my mate." Harry cuts in. I giggle and begin eating again.

"Let's just say it was truly awkward when Harry and I decided to have lunch one day and his mate showed up alongside him."

I shake my head at the thought. Flustered Harry is such a funny sight; I can only imagine how flustered he was when he found out about that back-story for the first time.

"Oh Harry," Gemma exclaims after taking a sip of her wine. Harry perks up and stands tall, probably hoping that we're no longer going to talk about Louis; "you'll never guess what happened at the shoppes today."

I drop my fork onto my plate by accident, the metal clattering loudly against the ceramic of the dish. Harry and Gemma both crane their necks in my direction, staring me down for a hot second before returning to their joined gazes.

Crap, how about we go back to talking shit about Louis?

I've been praying since that awkward encounter today that we wouldn't tell Harry. My plan was originally just to forget about it completely, then Gemma brought it up whilst we got tea. Again, I thought we weren't going to bring it up afterwards. Clearly I'm wrong.

It's not that I want to hide it from him; it's just that I don't want him to worry about something that doesn't need to be worried about. Tom is in the past and he's always been an asshole. There's no need for trouble to arise just because I ran into him one time in the span of four years.

"What happened at the shoppes today?" Harry asks cautiously, his eyes fitting between his sister and I. I lick my dry lips and avoid eye contact with him.

I know he's not going to be happy about my encounter with Tom. Harry's very protective which means there's probably going to be a possible outcome where Tom ends up beaten to a bloody pulp.

"You wanna tell him or should I?" I roll my eyes at her and bite my lip.

I should be the one telling Harry about the encounter, not his sister, even if it does mean Tom's inevitable demise.

"I ran into an ex." I state bluntly, chewing on a piece of spinach as I watch Harry take in the news. His face is blank momentarily before confusion flashes across his features. "Tom."

I shared my past with Harry on our first official date and I know I mentioned Tom. Just as his name rolled off my lips, a scowl came to Harry's lips.

"Tom as in the Tom that your parents forced you to be engaged to marry? That Tom?"

I bite my lip and slowly nod, trying to gauge Harry's anger.

"Whoa? What? Hold up a minute." Gemma exclaims, setting her wine glass down onto the surface of the island. Harry completely ignores his sister, keeping his eyes trained on me. I feel as if I'm in trouble, though I know I'm not. It's just the look he's giving me is completely confusing and in way terrifying. "You just said he was your ex, not ex-fiancé!" I immediately shake my head.

We were engaged, Tom and I, but he was never my fiancé and I was never his.

"Not fiancé, just ex-boyfriend, well not even that." I say, hoping to calm some of the tension in the air. Harry huffs lightly and I can tell he's somewhat pissed off, at what I'm not entirely sure.

He walks away from the island and over to the sink where he pours himself a glass of tap water. He turns round, leaning back against the counter as he takes a big gulp.

"Did he talk to you?" Harry asks, lowering the glass from his lips. I can tell the water is a distraction and I'm not too excited to see him fully angry just yet.

"A bit."

"What did he, uh, talk to you about?" I sigh heavily and push my plate away from me. I don't like feeling as if I'm on trial and I have no clue what Harry's problem is. He's acting strange.

"He approached me about old times. He was at one of the dress shoppes with his wife, by the way. I don't know if that makes a difference with your attitude or not." I snap, feeling anger surge from me expectantly. Immediately I regret the tone in my voice and the words I said. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap." I apologize, taking a sideways glance at Gemma. She's silently watching us whilst eating. When I look back to Harry I see that he's finally relaxed a bit. "He was just trying start things with me, making me get angry and annoyed because that's what he does best."

"When I stepped in she was pretty pissed." Gemma adds before giggling lightly. "He also thought your girlfriend was my girlfriend." Harry's eyes nearly bug out of his head at the mention of that fact. "It was pretty funny to be honest."

"Let's come back to that fact in a bit, shall we?" Harry utters. I can see the wheels turning in his mind and I can only guess what he wants to say. "I wanna talk about him pissing you off though." I sigh and shake my head, reaching across the island to grab his larger hand in mine. The touch alone seems to calm him even further.

"He's just a dick that likes to act inappropriately." Wrong choice of words.

Harry stiffens and leans forward, his chest raising and falling as he tries not to slam the empty water glass down on the counter. His lips are pursed together and his now empty hand is clenched in a fist.

"Inappropriate how?"

"Harry, relax. He didn't do anything." I assure him. His hand slides out from under mine and he takes a deep breath, looking anywhere in the room besides me. "Harry." I utter, hoping to gain his attention. He simply shakes his head at me and takes another deep breath.

"I need a minute." He mutters to the both of us before storming out of the kitchen.

I watch as he rounds the corner and then stomps up the stairs. I listen until I can no longer hear his footsteps, but I hear the door of our bedroom slam shut, making me jump.

Gemma and I sit in silence for a few moments, neither of us daring to say anything to each other or move a muscle. I'm not mad that Gemma mentioned running into Tom, it needed to be said. I do wish that we had gone about telling him another way. Harry's extremely protective and in his mind the thought of Tom doing something to me, or any other man, irks Harry to new extremes.

"Shay, I am so sorry." Gemma says after a break of silence. She places her hand on my back and begins rubbing in circles to try and soothe me. "I had no idea he was going to react in that way." I shake my head and look over to Gemma. She had no idea he was going to act in that way, neither of us did. "I mean he's my brother I should have figured he'd freak. I know he's protective and all."

"It's fine, Gem." I assure her as I stand from my seat and bring my empty plate over to the sink. "I'm pretty positive my family situation causes him to be super protective, and slightly paranoid." She cocks her eyebrows and I sigh heavily after I wash the dish.

"My parents aren't the best parents out there. Like your mum and Robin are the perfect parents and mine just aren't. They're selfish and rude and stuck up and basically any other awful adjective you can think of to describe parents."

I take my seat next to Gemma again and look around the room.

Harry is really the only person I have ever shared my past with. I don't tell many people because I don't want their pity or sympathy. I'm fine with the way I grew up, it angers me but after a few years of realizing that the way they raised me has made me into the woman I am today I can't hold onto that anger.

"My parents never wanted me to go to uni, or even continue my education after sixth form. My mother never went to university; my father did, of course. In our family it's custom for the man to go and get a higher education and for the woman to stay home and play homemaker. Women in my family are kind, respectful, and most of all, they're to be quiet. Really, my late grandparents followed those rules more than my parents, but I was still not supposed to be able to get an education or anything like that." I explain. It makes my physically sick thinking about staying at home and cleaning and cooking for the rest of my life. "When I turned eighteen my parents introduced me to Tom and his parents. They broke the news to us that day that we would be married in the summer."

"Holy shit." Gemma utters and I nod my head in agreement.

"I had seen him around school before, but like everyone at my school you had your pack of friends and no one else. He hung with other entitled rich kids, whilst I hung out with a few girls that were more bearable than the other girls there, still rich but bearable. That day we met was the only day we got to spend anytime together, alone, and from that moment on I knew there would be no way in hell that I would ever marry such a man like himself."

"Did you always know that you were going to have to marry at eighteen?"

"I found out when I was ten."

"Oh my God!" I nod. "When I was ten I was playing with dolls and drawing, not talking about my future with my mother." I laugh and sigh heavily, wishing that my childhood could have been like Gemma's.

"I spent my quote-on-quote 'free-time' in etiquette classes." Gemma's jaw drops and I simply nod.

I hated those etiquette classes with every bone in my body. Picture The Princess Diaries scene where Queen Clarisse Renaldi is teaching Mia, her granddaughter, how to sit lady like and eat properly. That was my childhood, no exaggeration.

"When I turned fifteen I was doing my 'training' to be a debutante. My coming out occurring when I turned sixteen." I sigh, thinking back to all those days during that year of fluffy dresses and sore feet from heels that were made too high for any woman to ever be able to wear. She's The Man makes it look very fun, but trust me it was not fun. "I don't think I ever told Harry that!" I exclaim, laughing. Gemma begins to laugh and soon we're clutching onto our stomachs and trying to regain our breathing.

"I can't believe you were a debutante!"

"I know right! I totally do not look the part anymore! That night at the ball was God-awful."

"Oh my God, what happened?" Gemma asks in a fit of laughter.

"So dates for this thing are to either be your brother or cousin to escort you." Gemma lets out a large "EW" and I nod in agreement, laughing along with her. "I mean it's not like your really dating, it's more of just a male figure to escort you into your coming of age." I say, shaking my head as I think back on what I had just said. "Okay, it sounds weirder than it is. But anyway I don't have a brother or any cousins so I had to attend this awful bachelor brunch a month before the ball. My parents forced me to go and mingle with as many suitable bachelors as I possibly could to find a date."

"What was your date like?"

"Believe it or not I did not find a date at that damn brunch. I wouldn't let them talk to me, let alone look at me. Looking back at it, I was a bitch to them." Gemma laughs and brings her wine glass up to her lips to clear her throat from all the laughing we've been doing. I completely forgot about Harry storming out of the kitchen for a while. "My parents had to force one of their friends' sons on me as my date. His name was Will and he was completely full of himself, more of a dick than Tom, if that's possible."

"I can't even imagine this, it's so bizarre."

"Tell me about it!"

"What about Tom and you, when did you officially end that?" I sit back in my seat and sigh.

I had ended it very dramatically and basically humiliating my family, his family, and Tom in front of all our friends and his living relatives. I applaud myself, really.

"Well, we got engaged before the summer began, so I had to attend school with this big flashy ring on my finger to the next two months and it was hell. Everyone wanted details on the wedding that I was definitely not planning and then everyone wanted to be invited to the engagement party. After a while I just gave up and said everyone could come, because I knew that in the end my mother would like that. Anyways, day of the engagement party I packed up my stuff and left the house. I had already gotten a cheap apartment on the other side of the city and then that night I dumped Tom very publically at the engagement party."

"You naughty bitch." Gemma playfully gasps and I laugh at her reaction.

The best part about that night was the satisfaction I felt after I told him, and everyone else in attendance, off. That's the last day that my relationship was relatively good with my parents.

"As much as I would love to talk back-story more I should probably see if Harry's alright." Gemma nods and stands from her seat, looking to her phone before placing it back in her back pocket.

"Yeah, I should be going too. I've got to feed my cat."

I walk with Gemma to the front door, where she puts on her shoes and grabs her bag. We say a quick goodbye and I promise to send her pictures on Friday of the entire outfit together with my makeup and hair completed. Once Gemma is out the door I sigh heavily and peer over at the stairs.

I don't know how moody Harry is right now. He could be relatively calm and just stressed from a long day of work, that Tom mention not helping with his stress of the day. Or Harry could be royally pissed for reasons I cannot understand and refuse to talk with me. Either way I know I have to go speak to him and assure him that nothing happened between Tom and I.

"Harry?" I call through the wood of the door once I've reached the first level. I press my ear against the door and wait for him to call back, but he doesn't. I'm only left with silence.

I sigh heavily before turning the handle and stepping into the room through the small crack in the door. I look around the room, trying to find a trace of the man I love, but the room is empty.

Where the hell-

And that's when I hear the sniffling from the open balcony doors.

I slowly creep over to the glass doors and hide my body behind the blinds that cover the glass. Harry is leaning against the banister, his head in his hands whilst his elbows rest against the top of the barrier. His back is rising and falling heavily and he's most definitely still sniffling.

"Harry?" I question, keeping my voice low as I creep out onto the balcony and join Harry at his side. I place my hand on his shoulder and rub in circles to try and soothe him. I've only ever seen him cry at the ultrasound and we both sort of sucked it up, so I'm not sure I'm soothing him to the best of my ability. His upper body shakes his soft sobs as he continues to cry, hiding his face away from me. "Harry, why are you crying?" I wonder.

I didn't think the conversation that occurred downstairs would upset him this much. I thought it pissed him off, but not to the point of him being in tears. In pains me to see him cry.

"I'm fine." He croaks out, sucking in a deep breath before wiping the tears away harshly.

"You're not." I say, wrapping my hand around his bicep and giving it a squeeze. "Tell me please." I plead, my heart aching at the sight of his tears. Harry turns his body against mine and wraps his arms around me, pulling me to his chest in a tight embrace. I'm momentarily thrown for a loop at the hug, but quickly wrap my own arms around him.

"Just stressed is all." He mumbles against my hair. I shake my head against his chest, knowing that's not the only reason he's so upset.

"Harry, I'm sorry about Tom, okay." I apologize, thinking it will help him feel better. "I had no idea he was going to be there and I told him to sod off as soon as I could." He shakes his head against mine and presses his lips against the top of my head.

"I'm not upset about that." He assures me, taking in a deep breath. I sigh against his embrace and press my lips to his chest. "I mean it makes me angry that he caused you to stress out and loose your cool, but I'm not angry that you spoke with him. I'm not crazy with jealousy." I laugh lightly and pull my head from his chest to look up into his bloodshot eyes; the skin around his eyes is puffy and red from crying. I reach up and dab the wet marks on his cheeks with my fingers, trying to rid his face from the damp. "But he didn't touch you or anything, did he?" I shake my head immediately.

"Of course not. I would beat his ass if he did." I say, causing Harry to crack a smile.

"Me too."

"I know you would baby." Harry pulls away from me and lets his eyes fall down to my stomach. His hands slide from around my shoulders and come down to my stomach, his large hands covering the expanse of my abdomen. I let out a large sigh, feeling his hands against me. "Harry, you never cry. I'm worried about you."

"I'm really just stressed out Shay, nothing to worry about."

"You're telling your highly anxious pregnant girlfriend not to worry about you." I point out with a smirk.

Harry cracks a small smile, his gaze still cast down at my stomach where his fingers caress the clothed area softly. He's never touched my stomach for longer than a couple seconds until now. I thought I'd be rather creeped out with another person's hands on that part of my body, but with Harry it's rather soothing.

"Is this about the banquet?" I question. "You seemed to get more stressed after the mention of it."

"Yeah." He admits lowly. "Louis kept going on about the planning and I just kept thinking about us telling everyone of our relationship Friday. I want to let the world know that you're mine, I'm just a little frightened, to be honest." I shake my head smiling and wrap my arms around Harry again, pulling myself to him. "Your safety, and the baby's, is in my hands and I'm not so sure that the banquet is the best place to tell people. There's going to be a ton of paps outside waiting for our arrival and exit."

"Then we can hold off telling people." I tell him.

"I don't want to do that."

"Then you need to stop worrying as well. We're going to be fine, the three of us." I promise him, rubbing his back gently. I look up at my Harry and watch his blank features stare back at me before he opens his mouth. I roll my eyes and place my hand over his pink lips to keep him from saying something that will just rile me up. "Stop being stubborn and let's head to bed."

Harry sighs heavily, taking a peak at the view from the balcony before looking back at me. He nods his head and pulls from me, taking me by my hand and leading me into the bedroom. He shuts and locks the door behind us and pulls the blinds closed to block out any view from the outside world. It's like our world is our little cocoon.

I make my way into the closet whilst Harry travels into the bathroom. I hear the faucet turn on from around the corner as I pick my clothing out for the next day at work. I lean against the doorframe and pick one of my feet up, using my hands to rub the tender skin. My feet are killing me still and all I really need is a foot rub and a good night's sleep.

"Feet hurt?" Harry walks into the closet, staring at me from over his shoulder whilst he slides his t-shirt over his head.

"Hell yes they hurt!" I exclaim lightly as a large yawn leaves my lips. "I've been on my damn feet all day with short breaks and it didn't help that I wore super uncomfortable shoes to work today." I mutter to myself as I continue to rub my aching feet.

My eyes scan up from my bare feet to see Harry holding up hangers with his shirts on them; only he's not looking at the shirts, only me.

"I could help you out." He rasps, raising an eyebrow. I shake my head, immediately knowing where this is going.

Every time he wants to start something sexual... wink-wink... with me his voice gets lower, his words are slower, and he works out the rasp as best he can.

"Absolutely not in the mood."

"I meant a foot rub Shay, get your head out of the gutter."

"It's hard to do that when your mind is always in the gutter." I bite back, smirking as I grab my pajamas and make my way out of the closet.

"My mind is never in the gutter!" He exclaims from around the corner. I laugh loudly and set my clothes down in the bathroom.

"Do you know what you tried today at work?" I shout to him as I begin to undress, leaving the door to the bathroom wide open so that I can still talk with him without the door muffling our conversation. He's busy planning tomorrow's outfit, too busy to watch me change. "Phone sex! That's what!" I hear Harry laugh loudly from his spot in the closet, making me laugh again as I pull my tank over my head.

"If it makes you feel any better I didn't finish either!"

"Ew!" I scream, covering my ears and hopping around barefoot in the bathroom. "That's disgusting."

"Disgustingly true. I'll have you know it's perfectly normal for a man to-"

"Do not finish that sentence." I warn, peering out of the bathroom to see Harry peering over at me from the closet. He just shakes his head at me and grins bashfully. He walks out of the walk-in closet and walks over to me in the bathroom. He comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, placing his hands on my mostly flat stomach.

"Come on, I'll make it up to you in the form of a foot rub."     

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