Eucatastrophe ~ h.s.

This isn't how I planned any aspect of my life to occur.

The plan was simple: Finish university with a 4.0 GPA, Get a well-paying corporate job that's more intense than the assistant job I've now, Find a man that loves me for me, Get married at a gorgeous ceremony, Have beautiful children, Grow old with the man of my dreams and watch our kids mature right before our eyes, and Then fall deeper and deeper in love with our time together.

That Night wasn't supposed to happen. My life wasn't supposed to turn out like this.

*Contains: Language, mild sexual content, and a bit of violence. Content could be triggering for some.*

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20. ✗ nineteen ✗

SHAY

"Well I'm exhausted!" I exclaim as we stumble into the house. The clock in the foyer says it's only nine-thirty but I feel as if it's already three in the morning. Time really flies when you're having fun.

Sitting and talking with Harry was nice, I couldn't have asked for a better person to share my personal story with and have a laugh with. But that kiss, that almost kiss, that really threw me for a curve ball. I didn't really understand how strong my feelings were towards Harry until I saw him in that suit.

When I first laid eyes on him earlier tonight, something in me, like a switch, turned. So when he engaged the almost kiss, I had no problem following through. Okay, so I freaked internally a bit, but I didn't pull away and decline the kiss. It was so perfect, like a fairytale, until that damn waiter came out of nowhere.

After that Harry and I just forgot all about what had happened and tried to focus on work, like we said we weren't. We talked about the trip tomorrow and how we're staying for four days and four nights. We fly out tomorrow night around nine pm, we have a layover in Hong Kong for about three hours, and then we land in Sydney basically two days later. Time difference is a real bitch, but I'm excited.

"Too bad, we have to pack before you can sleep." I pout and turn on my heels before leaning over and sliding them off my feet.

"Can't I pack tomorrow morning?" I feel like a child right now, but I don't care. I'm pregnant and I need my sleep. Oh God, I'm going to be one of those women who uses that to her advantage all the time. "Listen, if we go to sleep right now then we can sleep until nine am, and that gives us like nine and a half hours before we even have to leave for the airport." I state, turning around and facing Harry.

He's leaning up against the wall near the stairs with his arms crossed and a sly smirk across his lips. He's playing it rather cool considering I've just caught him watching me like a boy watches a girl he likes in school. He shakes out of his trance when he meets my gaze and I all I done is shake my head before passing him to go to the stairs.

We scramble up the steps and into the room where Harry flips on all the lights, causing me to groan. It looks as if I will be losing this fight for we're packing tonight. I fall down onto the bed, face first, after tossing my shoes to the side and listen as Harry tosses two suitcases onto the bed and I know that one's mine.

Over the past two weeks we've merged Harry's closet into our closet, seeing no point in me living out of my suitcase and he living out of a guest room. We're two adults with feelings for each other, we can share a bedroom responsibly.

"Haaaarrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyy!" I whine, rolling over onto my back. I open my eyes and peer to my right where Harry is leaving the closet, untucking his white shirt before beginning to unbutton it. "Please, I'm tired." I pout.

Harry walks over to me once his shirt is all the way unbuttoned and I feel myself inhaling at the sight. Sure, we sleep together and he's shirtless then, but most of the time the lights are off and I'm not left staring up at his angelic body.

Harry pouts his lips out as well and extends a hand for me to take. Reluctantly, I reach up and grasp his large hand, allowing him to pull me to my feet. As soon as I'm standing I fall forward against Harry's firm chest and pretend that I can't move. He laughs at my actions and rubs my back softly. My eyes are closed and I know if they stay that way I'll surely fall victim to slumber.

"C'mon, the faster we pack the faster we can go to bed."

With a huff of annoyance I push myself off Harry and saunter over to the closet. We were able to divide the closet in half, allowing us both plenty of room for our clothing items. Harry even moved some of his clothes upstairs to the guest bedroom closet when we found that he had too much clothes and not enough room for the both of us.

"What's the weather like in Australia this time of year?"

"Around 20 degrees Celsius." I rock my head back and forth, imaging the warm sun and the sand of one of Sydney's beaches squishing through my toes. I could work with that type of weather. I grab a couple pairs of shorts from the shelf and take them out of the suitcase, stuffing them inside. Harry's in the closet, contemplating suit choices as I search through my t-shirts for something suitable. A few t-shirts and a pair of shorts later, I too am searching through my work clothes. "Black or blue?" I turn to see Harry holding two suit choices.

"Both." He smiles and nods.

"What would I do without you?"

"You ask me that all the time." I say through laughter. I grab a pants suit and bring it out to my suitcase, stuffing the clothes in neatly. I shuffle around a few pairs of jeans and t-shirts so I can fit everything. Without looking I turn towards the closet, but I'm stopped short when I run straight into Harry's firm body. "Hello." I mutter lightly with a quick chuckle, looking up at Harry. 

He stares down at me with his lips parted and wide eyes. He last looked at me like this when we were at the restaurant, so I knew what is to come. I notice the close proximity we're in and my breath catches in my throat at the realization.

This is going to happen this time. There's absolutely nothing here that can interrupt this moment from happening. After the restaurant I wasn't sure if there'd be a trial number two, I hoped there would be, but there was no guarantee.

"Are you going to kiss me?" I whisper, my heart beginning to race in my chest.

I hear the shoes that he's holding in his hand hit the ground at my words. I don't know why I even spoke; I kind of ruined the moment. Harry didn't seem to mind though when his hands come into contact with my cheeks, holding my face softly. His thumbs caress my cheeks as his irises flash from my lips to my eyes. My eyes fall to his lips one last time before they fall shut completely. We continue to lean in until I hear Harry mumble a: "Yes" to my question.

And with this his soft lips are on mine and the room is exploding with fireworks. It only seems cliché to try and explain all that I'm feeling in this moment, but I try.

My stomach does flips in my abdomen as my heart feels like it's going to beat out of my chest. I've kissed other men before, but never like this. Never has there been so much chemistry and connection between a bloke and I.

Harry tilts his head to the side to gain more leverage as I lean forward further and create more force. Every worry I had about this kiss has flown out the window and into the night sky. I'm not scared of Harry, so there shouldn't be any fear in this kiss. I never want it to stop, but when I feel his tongue brush against my bottom lip, I know it's time to stop.

I pull away breathlessly and suck in a breath of fresh air to get some oxygen to my brain. The room feels like its on fire and I feel high on life. Harry leans forward and rests his forehead against mine, his warm chest rising and falling against mine.

"Thank you." Harry chuckles lightly and leans forward, pressing a light kiss to the tip of my nose.

"No, thank you. I've been waiting years to do that." I giggle lightly and wrap my arms around Harry's waist, pulling his chest to mine. Wiggling my face from his hands I rest my cheek against his warm chest and stare at the tattoo drawn on his skin. With one free hand I begin to trace the ink lightly, soaking in the moment we've created.

It's odd how normal I feel in this moment. If I close my eyes and continue to trace the ink on his broad chest I can imagine myself in a normal situation. I see myself with Harry, who grew a pair of bullocks to ask me out, and here we are. When I close my eyes I'm not pregnant and we were not brought together by an unfortunate incident. But when I will open my eyes I can't say that I'm angry that this is how we're brought together. I mean the incident makes my blood boil, but at least two good things came out of it: Harry and the child I'm carrying.

"You know what, let's just go to bed." I open my eyes fully and rest my chin upon his chest so that I can look up at Harry's face. Even from this awkward angle he still looks glorious. I raise an eyebrow and look over my shoulder at the half packed bags. I didn't even have underwear and bras packed, nor did I even put together my toiletries.

"You just wanted to stay up and kiss me, didn't you?"

"I couldn't wait until tomorrow." He admits, smiling down at me whilst wrapping his arms around me. "I'm so glad I didn't have to." I shrug and snake my arms around him, giving him a little squeeze.

"Well, now you can kiss me anytime you want." Harry throws his head back and hisses a loud, yes! I giggle and unwrap my arms from his grasp. "And I can kiss you anytime I want."

"Fine by me, my lips are yours." I smile and take his hand, dragging him towards the bed.

"And mine yours."

&&&

"I swear to God if we miss this flight because you wouldn't get off the phone with Louis when you did, I will hurt you!" I yell over my shoulder at Harry as we rush towards our gate at Heathrow International Airport.

Even though I've got Harry by the hand it seems as if I'm losing him in the crowd. There are people pushing in the opposite direction to get to the baggage claim whilst Harry and I fight our way towards our first flight. Who knew Heathrow could be so packed near eight-thirty at night.

"We won't miss the flight! They just started boarding." Harry exclaims, laughing lightly.

I feel as if I look like a mad person, jogging past the gates around us. People give us dirty looks as I shove past them and send an apology over my shoulder. Harry tugs on my hand, causing me to fly backwards against his body.

"Why are you stopping?" I nearly shriek. I turn in his grasp as Harry tugs us out of the middle of the walkway. He pulls us behind a post so we're not in the midst of airport goers and cups my face in his hands. "Harry," I whine, tapping my foot impatiently. Anxiety courses through my veins at the remote thought of being late and missing this flight. I don't do well with time, "please, we're going to be-" I'm cut off by his lips being pressed to mine. And like that time freezes.

My heart rate, surprisingly, begins to slow from its erratic pace and my breathing begins to slow as well. I completely forget about the events leading up to this; from the phone call with Louis to the awkward Über drive it took to get here.

"You need to relax." Harry mumbles when he pulls away, sliding his hand down from my face to my hand. He intertwines our fingers and gives my palm a light squeeze. "The stress you're creating for yourself is not healthy for you or the baby. So take a deep breath and calm down." I grunt lowly and lean back against the post behind me.

"Easier said than done."

"What causes you to stress out?" Harry asks in a low voice. I dart my eyes in the direction of a clock hanging above the information for the gate we're at and internally start to freak out again. Our flight is to take off in less than twenty-five minutes and we're standing here chatting. "Tell me." He urges, bringing my focus back to him.

"Being late. It causes me a lot of worry and anxiety. Just the thought of being late makes my heart race and my brain to freak. Why do you think I'm so punctual when it comes to work? So earlier when you answered that call from Louis and you spent the entire time talking with him whilst I waited, got me going. I just can't be late." I bounce on the balls of my feet and squeeze Harry's hand nervously.

When I meet eyes with Harry I see a flash of sorrow and worry.

"Shay, you should've told me. I never would have taken that call if I had known! We'd be here hours ago if I'd known." I shrug, not wanting to blame Harry, even if it was his fault I'm in this particular state. "Let's get you on that plane and then we'll talk. Okay?" I nod quickly and nearly tug his arm out of its socket when I begin to drag him again.

This time he picks up his pace so it's matching mine and we make it to the gate in less than five minutes. I notice that most of the passengers are already on the plane, but there are still a few waiting around. Harry and I get in line as I take out my ticket and passport from my purse. I hand Harry's stuff over and continue to hold his hand whilst we wait.

Ten minutes later, Harry and I are sitting in first class of this flight. The only con about this upper class is that Harry and I don't sit beside each other, rather we're sitting tilted at an angle towards each other. I believe the seats allow reclining into beds, which is pretty cool. I've flown a few times in my life, but never outside the UK and never first class.

"You look in awe." Harry states, after setting his carryon overhead. I nod my head and run my hands along the seat's edges, feeling the smoothness.

"I am. I've never flown first class before."

"Get used to it, baby."

I quirk my eyebrow upwards and watch as Harry adjusts himself in his seat. I don't think he noticed the pet name he just gave me, though I can't say that I hate it. I just didn't realize we were at that point in our "relationship" for pet names. Hell, we've technically only been dating for twenty-four hours if you count last night's dinner as our first date.

"What?" Harry questions once he notices my staring.

"Baby?" Harry shrugs and sends me one of those infamous smirks.

"I'll call you whatever I want, whether you like it or not."

"You're in luck, I like it."

"Good."

I sigh and lean back in my seat, letting my tired eyes shut momentarily. All this stress and worry about not making the flight has exhausted me to new extents. I'm ready to sleep my way through this flight. I calculated if I took a small nap on this eleven-hour flight and then slept the majority of the second flight then I would be able to "beat" jet lag, or so I hope.

"Shay." I moan in response to Harry speaking and then tapping my knee lightly. I don't bother opening my eyes as I reach out and grab Harry's hand on my knee.

"What?"

"Let's talk more." I sigh and reopen my eyes, knowing if we're going to talk about it, now is the time. "How long have you felt this way?" I sigh again and think back.

"It was probably my last year at sixth form when it really sunk in but my first year at uni was awful. I was that girl who was in the class before the professor. I don't know where it came about, but my anxiety towards being late has been high ever since."

"How bad is it? Is it usually like what I just witnessed if you're late or is it worse?" He asks, scooting farther out on his seat so that he's closer to me. There are not too many people walking up the aisle to find their seats so no one is in the way of our conversation.

"Usually I'm not late." I remind him, laughing lightly. "But sometimes it's like that, but sometimes it's worse."

"How much worse?" I shrug, thinking back to a time where I missed the tube into work. Thankfully I had left early enough so I wasn't late to work, just late to the station. I had to hide out in the station's bathroom and try to calm myself down from an anxiety attack.

"I get attacks sometimes, but not often. My heart starts to really race, my palms begin to sweat, it gets hard to breathe, and I get overly emotional. It's not a pretty sight, but it only lasts a few minutes." Harry frowns and gives my hand a squeeze. "Please, don't feel bad. You didn't know and we made it on time so I'm fine."

"From now on you need to tell me these things. I want to be there for you and help you out, but I can't do that if you keep big things like this from me."

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, just let me know next time." I smile lightly and lean across the aisle, pecking Harry's lips briefly. "Thank you for telling me." I nod and try to lean back in my seat, but Harry holds me to him. "These seats are too far away from each other." I giggle and nod my head in agreement.

"Sir, we're going to be taxing now I need you to fasten your seatbelt and prepare for takeoff." Harry pulls from me and sends the flight attendant a curt nod before sliding into his seat. "Thank you and enjoy your flight."

"Thanks." We both mumble to the woman as she turns to leave. I yawn and rest back in my seat, hugging my handbag to my chest.

"Take a nap. I'll wake you in a couple of hours." 

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