Eucatastrophe ~ h.s.

This isn't how I planned any aspect of my life to occur.

The plan was simple: Finish university with a 4.0 GPA, Get a well-paying corporate job that's more intense than the assistant job I've now, Find a man that loves me for me, Get married at a gorgeous ceremony, Have beautiful children, Grow old with the man of my dreams and watch our kids mature right before our eyes, and Then fall deeper and deeper in love with our time together.

That Night wasn't supposed to happen. My life wasn't supposed to turn out like this.

*Contains: Language, mild sexual content, and a bit of violence. Content could be triggering for some.*

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43. ✗ forty-one ✗

SHAY

"Well Lux, looks as if it's just the three of us!" Harry exclaims, tickling her sides and causing the girl to let out an ear-piercing scream of laughter. Harry and I laugh along with her as he carries her further into the house and plops her down on the couch. "Have you gotten taller since I last saw you?" He asks her as she stands on his sofa and stares up at him.

"No!" She giggles and turns to me. I stand to the side, just watching the two interact with my arms folded over my chest. "Harry, who is your pretty friend?" She asks, blushing as she leans against Harry's chest.

He wraps his arms around her and rests his chin on her head as he stares to me with a lopsided grin adorned on his pink lips.

"That, Lux, is my girlfriend Shay. And she is very pretty, isn't she?" Lux nods her head and wiggles out of Harry's grasp.

My eyes look past the little girl to the telly a small gasp leaving my lips at the sight. A nude Sandra Bullock sits on screen, looking about as flustered as I in this moment.

"What's wrong?" Harry rushes, forgetting about the light-hearted conversation we were just having.

"Nothing," I blurt, making sure Lux is looking in my direction and not Harry's. Five minutes in and we've almost screwed this whole thing up by letting a child watch an adult movie. "Just thinking about a sort of proposal that I've to stop. Right now."

The look on Harry's face would be priceless if it weren't for the nude actors on the screen behind him. I widen my eyes and look to the screen, motioning with my head. Harry spins around and yelps lightly before turning the movie off and switching off the telly. We both release a heavy sigh as Lux simply laughs at us.

"I'm hungry." Lux says, looking to me for some kind of assistance. I smile down at her and look to the clock upon the wall.

It's almost half-eight, I'm not sure if she should be eating at this time of night. Maybe she's allowed to eat whenever, much like Harry. It could be midnight and he'd be eating snacks on the couch if it weren't for me.

"You're hungry, bug?" Harry questions, scooping the girl up in his arms and setting her on the floor.

Lux nods and takes Harry's hand leading him towards the kitchen. He looks to me and smiles as I take a nervous gulp.

I'm not quite sure what to do in these situations, but I'm sure Harry does. If I were her parent I wouldn't be feeding her at this time of night, unless it's a small snack. Perhaps, Lou allows her to eat this late, maybe it just depends on the parent.

I'm going to be an awful parent, I think to myself as I rest against the back of the sofa. How am I this clueless when it comes to children? She's like five and I have no idea how to care for her.

How am I supposed to care for a newborn?

"You alright?" His husky voice appears from behind me as his hands snake around my waist. I nod my head and reach across the sofa, picking up the mostly full popcorn bowl. "You look a little out of it."

"Just thinking." I state, handing the bowl over to Harry.

I peer over his shoulder to see Lux sitting at the island with her backpack at her side and a glass of milk on the counter. She's scribbling across a sheet of paper with a pencil, paying no attention to Harry and I.

"About?"

"Parenting."

"Stop freaking yourself out, love." He says, placing a chaste kiss behind my ear. I smile lightly at the sensation and sigh heavily. "Think of tonight like a practice run. Trust me, it's not going to be horrid. Lux keeps herself busy for the most part, most times she comes over here I'm working so she just sets up shoppe in my office." I run my hands through my hair and nod. "Relax." He mutters before pulling from me and taking my hand.

Harry leads us into the kitchen and places the bowl of popcorn before Lux, her eyes widening at the size of the snack. She thanks Harry before plopping a piece into her mouth and carrying on with her work. I chew at my lip nervously as I grab a bottle of water for myself.

"Are you married to Harry?" She asks out of the blue. I nearly choke on the drink in my hand at her question as Harry simple grins.

Where did she get an idea like that?

"No, bug." Harry says for the both of us. "You think I would get married without you knowing?" He questions, leaning down and pecking the side of her head.

I smile at the exchange. I can tell how much he adores her and I can't help but imagine him like this with my child, or our future children.

Am I really thinking about kids with Harry? I can't say I haven't thought of the possibility, but one child is enough for the moment.

"Oh," I can't help but detect a small amount of disappointment in her tone, "but you guys kiss." She says as if it's nothing at all. "Mummy says I'm not allowed to kiss a boy until I'm married, meaning you must be married." I find myself laughing at her statement, the words lightening my mood a bit.

"Your mum's a very smart lady."

"Of course she is." Lux says, taking another bite of popcorn. "How old are you?"

I push myself from the counter and make my way over to the pair, leaning against the island with a smile on my lips.

"Twenty-one, how about you?"

"I'm five. Harry," She turns towards him, "how old are you?"

"Twenty-three."

"That means that Shay is," She pauses for a moment, thinking, "two years younger?"

"Wow, you're smart!"

"I know!" Lux squeals. "My teachers say that I'm really smart. Mummy and daddy say that too. Why haven't you been around much, Harry?" She asks changing the subject as if it were nothing. 

Lux drops her pencil on the countertop and turns towards the man standing at her side. He pouts lightly before wrapping his arms tightly around the small girl.

"I've been busy with work, Lux. But I promise to stop by more." He promises, looking to me. "Myself and Shay, promise to stop by more. Say, how would you like to go to the zoo with Shay and I sometime this summer?" Lux's face immediately lights up.

"Really? The zoo? I love the zoo; remember when we went last summer, Harry? We saw those baby giraffes and then we ate ice cream pops and chips! And you bought me my stuffed lion. I have it with me!"

She squeals, reaching into her bag and pulling out a stuffed lion with an orange mane. He looks a bit worn, like she constantly has him with her at all times. The stuffed animal is hugged to her chest before she holds it out for Harry to take.

"Well hello there, Oscar." He says to the lion, taking it from her hands and taming his mane a bit. "So, would you like that, bug?" Lux nods quickly and looks to me as Harry's eyes flicker to me as well. "How about you, love, would you like to go to the zoo this summer?" I smile largely and nod my head.

"I would. I love the Lynxes, they're my favorite animals."

"What are they?" She asks with so much wonder in her eyes that it's hard not to feel your heart warm at the sight.

"They're like big, cute cats with black speckles all over. They were once the largest wild cat population in Europe."

"Why do you like them so much?" I shrug and clasp my hands together.

It's a pretty hard question from a five-year-old. Why do I like them so much?

"Well, they have really fluffy fur. I got to pet one once and they're so beautiful up close. They're also very powerful cats and I guess that appeals to me." I say, glancing at Harry who is slyly smirking, for what reason I don't know. "And they're, of course, really cute." I add. "What about you Harry? What is your favorite animal?"

"I like turtles." He says, shrugging. "They're strong animals, though they don't look it. They are strong observers, great listeners. They're patient, wise, and extremely organized." He says looking to me with a grin.

I can't help but feel he's comparing me to a turtle. I also don't seem to be too fazed by being compared to a turtle for some reason. I am patient and very, very organized. I don't think I'm strong, but perhaps in Harry's eyes I am.

"And they're cute!" Lux adds.

"Yes they are." He mutters, looking directly at me with a sly grin on his lips.

&&&

"She finally down?"

It's been a long evening since Lux arrived hours ago.

After our popcorn and animal talk Lux and I went up to the room because she wanted to look through my wardrobe. Apparently she believes I'm a model with all the clothes I own. We played dress up for a good hour before we popped in a movie. I excused myself early, wanting to wind down for the evening. Once the movie was finished Harry put Lux down and I haven't seen him for a good hour or so.

Harry lets out a large yawn, kicking the door mostly closed, before peeling his top and skinny jeans off his long legs and collapsing right down on the bed beside me. I giggle at his actions, resting the pregnancy book on my torso and reaching across the run my fingers through Harry's long locks. He lets out a sigh before turning his head towards me and opening one eye, looking up at me.

"We both fell asleep."

"Ah, so that's what took you so long?" I ask, laughing lightly. Harry nods his head and yawns again.

"One minute I was telling her a story and the next I woke up an hour and fourty minutes later with Lux clinging onto me." I laugh again and place the bookmark in my book.

I set it on the nightstand as I scoot to a laying position next to him. He immediately scoots closer to me and flings his arm around me and rests his head on my chest. His hair tickles my neck as his warm breath fans against the covered skin of my lower chest.

"Well it wasn't how I expected this evening to go, but I had fun." I admit.

Truthfully I had seen this evening ending with a bit of a makeout session right here, of course maybe an hour sooner so that I could get more rest. He just looked so good today at work and then he slaved over that amazing dinner earlier, he deserved a good snog.

"Hmmm," His head pops up from my chest as his eyes meet mine, "and how were you expecting this evening to go?" He asks with a sly smirk on his lips and narrowed eyes. I shrug and sigh heavily as I rest my head against the pillow beneath me.

"Oh, you know."

"Do I now?"

Even with my eyes now closed I can still see the sexy smirk on his lips.

A few moments later I feel the fan of Harry's breath on my face and before I know it his lips are on mine. I don't bother opening my eyes as I bring my hands up and tangle them in his hair, pulling at the long strands and earning some moans from the back of his throat.

My lips form into a smile as his mesh perfectly with mine. He pulls himself up so that his body is hovering over mine, hands keeping his body just far enough away from mine that he isn't squishing me, but still close enough to feel his body heat.

"Babe," I mutter, our lips smacking together lightly, "t-there's a c-child here."

My words are a stuttering mess between kisses. Harry's lips driving me absolutely mad from head to toe.

"She's asleep and upstairs." His husky voice replies, pulling his lips from mine as my eyes flutter open. Harry's still hovering over me; his eyes are open as his hair is falling around his face. His eyes are scanning my face with a grin on his reddened lips. "God, you're so beautiful." I bring my hands to my cheeks, feeling the blood rush to them.

"Am not."

"You are." He says, leaning down and pressing a kiss on the tops of my hands. "Am going to tell you that everyday, because you deserve to hear it."

My blush gets hotter and hotter every time he opens his mouth to speak. No one has ever sweet-talked me as much as Harry has. It's refreshing and makes me feel special.

"Even when I'll look like a whale?" I ask, taking a peek down towards my minuscule baby bump.

"Even when you look like a whale."

Harry's lips crash against mine before I have time to do anymore arguing.

Our lips dance together beautifully, creating a mixture of love and lust. My entire body heats up as the assault on my lips continues. His lips part against mine his tongue darting out to wet my bottom lip, begging for access. I grant the access and the sensation of tongue-on-tongue creates the chills that rush through my body.

The eagerness must be completely obvious when I shiver beneath him. I can't help but feel overheated and freezing at the same time. It's an odd feeling to possess.

His lips pull from mine, his perfectly white teeth tugging my bottom lip back before letting it smack back against me. I'm out of breath, the air that leaves my lips fanning over Harry's face. He smiles down at me like I'm the most beautiful person he's ever laid his eyes on.

"I love you." I rush out before his lips can dive in again for round two, or maybe three.

"I love you too." And with those words spoken our lips make contact yet again.

My body ignites in flames yet again at first touch. Our tongues immediately join together to dance in perfect harmony as my hands bury themselves in his hair, tugging at the roots. My chest rises and falls in a fast manner as my heart feels as if it's going to beat out of my chest.

Harry shifts his body over mine so that his knees are now straddling my waist and his hands rest on either side of my head. He detaches our lips leaving me whining for more. The whine makes Harry smirk as he looks over his shoulder to the door, seeing it mostly closed.

"Can I take this off?" He wonders, playing with the bottom of my shirt.

I nod without overthinking it and watch as Harry smiles before reaching for the fabric. He pulls it off effortlessly and tosses it across the room. My heart immediately starts beating faster in my chest as Harry's lustful eyes rake my upper body.

"God, is that new?" He questions, his voice breathless as he pants heavily looking to the black lace bra that barely covers my breasts.

"No." I say in barely a whisper.

My breasts have clearly gotten larger in size since getting pregnant, but I have yet to purchase new bras. It's a bit of an understatement to say that I'm basically spilling out of what I'm wearing currently.

"I need to size up." I whisper, giggling and covering my mouth with my hand. Harry gulps loudly and nods his head without taking his eyes off my chest.

It's as if he's never seen a shirtless woman before, which I know isn't true. The way he's staring has got me feeling some type of way, perhaps the exact same way I felt that one night in Harry's childhood bedroom. I will not let that embarrassment occur again.

When Harry clears his throat I know I've been caught staring at his toned body as I think.

"Hi." I whisper, my cheeks burning red as I bring my hands up to cover myself a bit.

"Don't, "He says, taking my hands in his and pulling my hands from my chest, "you're beautiful."

"So you keep telling me." I joke, sending him a wink. "You're not so bad yourself."

I watch as Harry releases my hands and begins trailing his fingertips along my swollen lips, down to my jaw, before continuing south. His light touch sends a chill up my spine as his fingers meet my prominent collarbones before he ducks down again and his lips make contact with my skin again. I tremble as he begins his assault on my neck, searching for that spot that he knows will have me going crazy in a matter of minutes.

As long as his crotch doesn't brush against mine, we shouldn't have a repeat of what happened the last time.

As his lips paint my neck and jaw I find myself relishing on the thoughts of this going further. I'm very much enjoying this moment between us, I'm positive we both are, but can this go on?

Can I continue without freaking out totally? I know I'm not ready to go all the way with him, Hell I wasn't ready before all of this mess called my life happened. I think if this went a bit further tonight I honestly wouldn't mind.

"Take care of me." I plead, my words coming out nervous and shaky. Harry's motions on my neck still and he pulls his head from my neck. He sits up a bit and looks down at me as my bottom lip trembles lightly. "Don't let anything bad happen to me." I beg, placing my hands on Harry's slightly scruffy cheeks and staring into the emerald beauties I wish I had.

"I won't." He promises, his voice merely a whisper.

"I can't continue this if I don't feel safe," I begin, but am cut off by a swift kiss to my lips.

"Then we'll stop." Harry says, going to crawl off of me.

Shit, this isn't what I wanted.

I grab onto Harry's biceps and pull him back to me, taking one leg and wrapping it around his waist to keep him from climbing off of me. His eyes widen slightly before fixing properly on my face.

"You didn't let me finish." I tell him, searching his eyes for some kind of answer. An answer to what question I have no idea. "And I do, Harry, I feel safe with you. Just please just don't push me too hard." I swallow the lump that has taken home in my throat and give his strong, tattooed biceps a small squeeze.

"Tell me what you want." Harry says, placing his knees between my legs and lowering himself down onto me carefully, keeping his body off of my stomach. This position has his crotch on mine, which causes my breathing to hitch in my throat. The few barriers between us seems as if it isn't enough, especially with the hardened area I can feel pressing up against me.

"Just kiss me, please."

Without another word Harry's lips have found mine again, our slow kisses being soon forgotten with the passionate, rough kisses that are placed on my plump lips. Our tongues waste no time in meeting with each other again, creating the sparks in the room. I begin to feel lightheaded with the sensation and the heat coursing throughout my veins to my lower extremities. But I also can't help but feel alive.

A gasp leaves my lips when he rocks his hips into mine, the pressure sending me shaking as I tangle my hands into Harry's hair. I pull at the strands, gaining a loud moan from deep in his throat. His lips detach from mine as they begin to trail down my neck. When his lips meet the curve of my breasts I shuttered breath leaves my lips along with something that could be described as a whine.

"Harry...God...you-"

I can't even find it in me to finish the sentence when he playfully bites at the skin before sucking harshly. I don't mind the love bites that I know will litter my skin, as long as he just doesn't stop. His hips rock into me again and I whine at the contact, biting down on my lip to keep somewhat remotely quiet.

I have to remember there is a child just upstairs who is sleeping. As much as I know we should stop, I just can't.

"Harry!"

A loud whine leaves my lips when I feel his lips just above my belly button. His lips leave me momentarily; only long enough to send a loving smile up in my direction, before kissing my stomach all over. His body has slid down the bed, his hands resting on my stomach. His hands go to my hips and I watch as he peppers the kisses across my rounded bump, his thumbs caressing the bones of my hips as he does so.

As his thumbs hook underneath the band of my leggings my eyes snap to his, my nerves erupting like crazy. I don't know whether I want him to stop. Of course I don't want him to stop, I'd really like to finish this whilst I'm getting closer to losing it, but I also don't want to make a fool of myself. I've lasted longer than last time thankfully.

"Is this okay?" He asks, the air leaving his lips creating goosebumps on my exposed stomach. I open my mouth to answer him, but don't get the chance.

"Harry?"

"Shit!"

Harry throws himself off of me and climbs under the duvet quickly. In record time we're both underneath the duvet and Harry's snuggling up against me. I'm left panting and buzzing from the moments that just occurred when I hear and see the door begin to push fully open.

A half-asleep Lux, standing in the doorway with tears down her cheeks.

"Oh my God, Lux." I exclaim, taking in the tears that paint her tired face.

I would get out of bed and rush to her, but I'm not wearing a shirt and I don't think I can move with Harry's arm tightly around my body.

As I take in the tear stained cheeks and quivering bottom lip of her's I reach onto the floor and toss a pair of Harry's shorts at him. He threw them at me this morning after working out; let's just say it wasn't a pleasant way to wake.

"Lux, honey, what's wrong?" Harry questions once he's half dressed.

He climbs from the bed as I pull my shirt back over my head. He walks over to the little girl and kneels down to her level, brushing some of her hair back out of her face.

"Daddy..." She wailed, clinging on to her stuffed lion Oscar she had shown off to us only hours earlier. She continues to cry and give little detail to the emotions she's feeling as Harry scoops her up in his arms and carries her over to the bed.

"Bug," He whispers into her hair before pressing a kiss to the spot, "you have to calm down. Take a deep breath." Harry instructs setting Lux on his lap as he rubs her back and wipes the tears away. "There you go." He says once the tears have subsided and she's no longer shaking like a lost puppy. "Now can you tell me what's wrong?" She nods ever so slightly, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hands.

"Is daddy going to be okay?" She asks, her bottom lip beginning to quiver again. Harry looks to me with a pout of his own as he rocks the girl back and forth and continues to pepper her face with kisses.

"Honey," I start, scooting closer to the two, "your daddy is going to be just fine. He's just a little sick. We all get sick, even Harry and I, but we're okay. I promise you that your dad is going to be all right. You'll see him in the morning." I promise.

Lux looks to me with those big, sad eyes before crawling out of Harry's lap and into mine.

I'm slightly taken aback by her gesture as her arms circle around my neck, but I quickly shake the foreign feeling away and hold her tight. I rock her back and forth and continue to tell her it's all going to be all right as Harry watches us quiet. I watch as he gets out of bed and grabs a t-shirt from the closet before putting it on.

"Do you want to sleep with Shay and I tonight, bug?" Harry asks.

Lux pulls her head from the crook of my neck and looks to me as if asking for permission. I simply nod to her and rub her back, signaling that it's okay with me.

"Yes, please."

"Okay."

Harry gets back into bed as Lux and I lay down, her small body clinging onto mine. She lays her head on my chest, which causes me to wince lightly at the slight pain that these growing breasts cause, but ignore it. She grabs at my loose t-shirt playing with the fabric, her breathing slowing.

I look to Harry, who lies on the other side of her and turns to face us. He pulls the duvet up over us and snuggles in close, wrapping a strong arm around the both of us.

"I love you." I mouth, smiling lightly to him.

Harry returns the smile and leans over, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"I love you too, baby."

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