Eucatastrophe ~ h.s.

This isn't how I planned any aspect of my life to occur.

The plan was simple: Finish university with a 4.0 GPA, Get a well-paying corporate job that's more intense than the assistant job I've now, Find a man that loves me for me, Get married at a gorgeous ceremony, Have beautiful children, Grow old with the man of my dreams and watch our kids mature right before our eyes, and Then fall deeper and deeper in love with our time together.

That Night wasn't supposed to happen. My life wasn't supposed to turn out like this.

*Contains: Language, mild sexual content, and a bit of violence. Content could be triggering for some.*

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46. ✗ forty-four ✗

SHAY

So here we are, standing in the midst of Anne and Robin’s lounge chatting about Harry’s business and how I’ve been dealing with him during the work hours.

We came for the weekend to share with them the good news, but also the truth. I know that once Anne and Robin find out they’re going to have many questions. Our timelines don’t necessarily add up and I don’t want them to get the impression that Harry and I had a thing before we were, well, us. I just feel they deserve the truth.

But I also can’t help but be very scared to admit to the parent’s of my boyfriend that I’m a rape victim. I don’t want their pity and I don’t want them looking at me any other way than they already have.

“I cannot tell you how surprised and happy I was to hear that the both of you were coming by.” Anne coos, motioning for Harry and I to sit on the sofa whilst her and Robin took matching seats across from us. She had also made us some tea to warm us up from the cool that the rain brought. “You know, Shay, Harry doesn’t come by too often anymore. He claims to be too busy.”

“Because I am, mum.”

Harry lets out a playful groan before falling back against the sofa. I smile at his poutiness and giggle lightly as I pick up the mug, the warmth giving me a soothing feeling. It calms my nerves just feeling the warmth.

“Well, I’m glad I can drag Harry over here more often for you both. A son needs to have his parents in his life.” I add, quirking my eyebrow up at him.

He grins back at me, placing his hand on my thigh and giving it a soft squeeze.

“My you two have just gotten cuter since the last we saw you, haven’t they Robin.”

“They have.” He agrees, watching as Harry and I join hands. Harry scoots closer to me and presses a kiss to the side of my head. “When your mother and I went out the other week we saw some very interesting articles in the tabloids. Weren’t surprised to see your faces plastered across them.”

“Yeah, the paps have definitely been on us since the banquet. But what can I say? I just wanted to let the world know she’s mine.” I blush at his words and thank him with a small head nod.

“Enough about the tabloids, dear. Why are you really here?” Anne asks us, her eyes narrowing. “I know you well enough Harry that you wouldn’t come hear without a reason. Last time was to introduce us to Shay, this time…?” I bite my lip and look to Harry, who looks to me with a grin on his face.

“Do you want to tell them?” I shrug and shake my head lightly.

“They’re your parents.” I say, gaining a gasp from Anne’s lips. Harry and I look to her as her hand drapes over her mouth and eyes widen. Suddenly she stands from her chair, practically shaking in spot. “Anne, are you alright?” I wonder aloud, still holding onto Harry’s hand.

“Are you…?” She buzzes, looking between the two of us before rounding the coffee table. “Shay, are you…? She begins again, but seems not to be able to finish. She kneels before me and looks into my eyes, tears brimming the surface.

“Mum, what are you doing?”

“Shay’s pregnant.” She blurts, pointing with a finger towards my stomach. I place my free hand though, my jaw dropped.

How did she know?

“Anne, how did you know?” I ask, smiling lightly.

She begins to cheer louder before capturing me in a hug and rocking me back and forth. She ignores my question and continues to hug on me and tell me how happy see is. I can’t help but wish my parents had reacted this way. When Anne finally does pull away she’s got tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Oh dear, a mother just knows. Though I haven’t known you long I can’t help but just feel like I’ve known you for years. You make Harry such a happy man. The second Harry called us up I knew there was something that was going to be discussed. I thought about it long and hard. When you were here last you were very emotional and, deary, I heard you getting sick but I didn’t want to say anything. And now you’re positively glowing. Plus I can’t help but notice the small bump you’re pulling off. You were very thin last I saw you.”

I glance to Harry who is staring back at me with a large grin and a shrug of the shoulders. Robin stands from his chair and walks over to his stepson giving Harry a handshake and then a proper hug. I smile at the two as I stand to my feet and hug Anne in my arms. She squeals once again before pulling away with her jaw dropped.

“I’m going to be a grandmother!” She screams excitedly.

I gulp nervously looking to Harry as the nerves spread throughout my body again.

I can’t do it. I can’t tell her. I can’t crush the excitement flooding through her. She’ll be so upset and she’ll never look at me the same way. She’ll want nothing to do with my disgusting person.

“Hey, love, are you okay?” Harry asks, placing his hand on my shoulder and turning me towards him.

I didn’t even feel the tears streaming down my cheeks until now. I shake my head and turn into Harry’s embrace, wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling him close.

“Mum, dad, will you give us a moment?” Harry asks.

“Sure, sweetheart.” Anne says before her and Robin leave the room and into the kitchen around the corner. Harry pulls from me and takes my head in his hands, wiping the tears away as they fall.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t tell them.” I croak out. “Did you see your mum’s face when she said she’s going to be a grandmother? Did you see the happiness in her eyes and the excitement in her body? I cannot tell her. She won’t look at me the same, she might hate me!”

“No, Shay, she’s not going to hate you. Don’t think like that.”

“She needs to know the truth though.” I cry out.

As much as I don’t want to tell her she still needs to be aware. I don’t want her hearing about this from someone other than Harry and I, in case this somehow gets out. The guilt will kill me. “Can you tell her Harry? I can’t do it.”

“If that’s what you want.”

“Please, just tell her I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” He says, ushering me to take a seat on the sofa. He kneels before me and places his hands onto my knees. “I’m not leaving your side until you’re calm, okay?” I nod and suck in a breath.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” I croak out, wiping the remaining tears away. I’ve cried too much for today and it needs to end now.

“Okay.”

With one last kiss to the forehead Harry stands and goes into the kitchen, leaving me to sit by my lonesome on the sofa. I bring the delicious hot tea up to my lips and take a tentative sip, allowing the liquid to cool my burning throat. I can’t hear what they’re saying in the other room, nor do I want to. We should be doing this together, but I’m too much of a coward to do that.

It’s best if Harry handles this one.

 

^^^

HARRY

The look on my mum’s face when she found out that Shay’s pregnant was something that I’ve always wanted to see from her. I’ve seen the look before, but only a few times. The first was the first ever banquet Louis and I held for The Happy Children Foundation and another was when she came in to work and saw me in my father’s old office.

She looked absolutely ecstatic about the news, practically bursting out into tears before we even got the chance to tell her. Mum’s always wanted to be a grandparent, I’ve known that since Gem and I were kids.

It pains me that the smile she wore may not be present much longer. I know that she’ll be more than willing to help Shay and I out with the baby when he or she comes, but I don’t know how she will react to the child not actually being related to her by blood.

I don’t know if I come right out and say it or if I should ease them into the news. I just don’t know.

“Oh honey, is Shay alright?” Mum asks with concern laced in her voice.

I lean against the doorway in the kitchen and cross my arms over my chest, ducking my head down to avoid eye contact with the two of the people I love most in this world. I don’t want to see the looks in their eyes when I tell them. It will surely crush mum.

“Not really.”

“Well, what’s wrong? Is she sick? Is it something I said?” Mum questions, walking over towards me and lifting my chin so that I’m looking her in the eye.

I try my best to keep my composure but I know I’ve lost when the first tear slides down my cheek.

I hate the guilt this is putting on Shay. She shouldn’t have to feel this way because there’s nothing she could have done differently. Quite frankly I don’t care whose baby it really is because he’s not in the picture and he’s never going to be anywhere near them. I can’t stand to see Shay’s face with tears streaming down it any longer. It literally breaks my heart.

My mum’s soothing touch shakes me out of whatever silence I’ve fallen into. I look to her and notice the worry evident in her face. She wants to ask me everything and anything, I can tell, but I’m glad she’s not.

“I have to tell you something.” I mutter, wiping the tears away with the back of my hands as my mum holds me in her arms. I hug her back and take a deep breath. “It’s about Shay and I think that the both of you should maybe take a seat.” I suggest, ushering them towards the table at the corner of the room.

Mum gives me a weary look before nodding and taking my hand in hers. She gives it a squeeze as the three of us go to the table and take a seat around it. I stare at my hands in my lap for a bit before gaining the courage to speak up, their eyes set on me.

“I’ve been lying to you both for a while now.” I begin by saying, looking up and meeting their eyes. My mum bites her lip as she reaches across and takes Robin’s hand in hers. “Shay hasn’t been living with me because of issues with her flat. She’s been living with me because of something that happened the night of one of my parties four months ago.”

“What happened, Harry?” Mum pushes lightly.

“The night of the last party I hosted at my place Shay worked until around eleven before she came and told me she was leaving. I walked her to the door and offered for her to take one of my cars or call someone to pick her up, but she declined because she stubborn like that.” I say, finding it in me to smile a little at her stubbornness. She not too bad anymore, but she used to be. “She left and the party continued until around half twelve, maybe one. Everyone went home and I was up until around half two in the morning on the phone with Louis, because we all know how he gets when he’s drunk.”

My parents just nod. Of course they know how Louis is. We’ve known each other most of our lives and he’s met my parents and hung out with them more than I have, for some odd reason.

“It was then that somebody started pounding on my door. Of course I didn’t know who it could be at such an early hour but I opened it anyway. It was Shay. She was frantic and came stumbling, missing her shoes. She practically screamed at me to shut the door, I know now that she was screaming out of fear. She looked awful, her dress ripped and there was blood…” My voice drifts off into silence as a fresh set of tears cascade down my cheeks.

Picturing Shay like that pains me and makes me want to kill the guy that did this to her. Just remembering the fear she possessed that night and how she looked, all confused and bloody. The way her dress was ripped showing off her scratched and cut skin beneath. The blood that trickled down her leg before she collapsed sent me into a fury of fear. The memories alone are enough to give you nightmares for the remainder of your life.

“She was raped.” I choke out, ducking my head down and burying my face in my hands as I cry.

My mother gasps and before I can do anything about it she’s taking my larger body in her arms. I wrap my arms around her and bury my face against her shoulder, crying all the tears I have. Memories of that night flash across my mind, causing me to want to claw them out of me.

“Shhh,” Mum gushes, holding me tighter as I cry into her like some pathetic child, “that’s why you took her in, let her live with you?” I nod my head against her shoulder and try to subside the tears, though they just keep pouring. “Oh that poor girl. Did they catch the man that did that to her?” I sit up and nod, taking in a harsh breath in order to try and speak.

“Do you remember Damian from Cheshire, my old American friend? He’s actually a PI now and helped catch the guy. He’s been in prison for about two months, thank God.” I say, sniffling as my mum catches my tears. I see now that she’s got tears of her own whilst Robin sits in silence, his head bowed down at the news. “But before then, only a couple days after she moved in with me she got really sick and so sick that one night we ended up in the hospital.”

I could already feel the anger getting to me, whenever I think about what that bloke did to Shay. It makes my blood boil in my veins and my heart race. I usually begin to see red before Shay calms me down with one simple touch, because somehow that’s all that I need.

“It turns out that sick bastard got her pregnant.” I spit with fists clenched in my lap.

“So, the baby...”

“No, it’s not mine.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry, baby.” Mum says, pulling me into her arms again before peppering my face with kisses.

No matter how old I am, I will always be a mummy’s boy. I love my mum and I always will. She’s always been so strong with her marriage falling apart with my dad, working two jobs whilst I was in sixth form, everything she does is just plain amazing.

“We’re going to tell people that it’s mine though, because I don’t want Shay to have to lie about having a one night stand or make her tell the truth to anybody. We both agree that it’s for the best if people believe it’s mine.”

“That’s a big commitment son.” Robin pipes in. “I know you love the girl, but are you sure you’ve thought this through? What if something happens between the two of you, God forbid?”

Robin’s words sink into my mind, but I’ve already made my decision. Hell, only just two weeks ago I made a life changing decision whilst sitting bored in my office during a phone conference.

I’ve made a big decision, one that I’ve yet to tell Shay anything about.

“I’m going to adopt the baby.” I blurt, nodding my head to myself as a smile breaks across my lips. My mother gasps again and I see Robin stiffen momentarily in his chair. “I haven’t told Shay yet because I don’t want to freak her out, but I plan to adopt the child so that he or she will be mine. That is if Shay is up for the idea of me being the child’s legal father. This baby is going to need a dad and I’m more than willing to be that dad. I mean I’m going to be here before he or she is born, I’m going to be at Shay’s side at the birth, I’m going to help raise him or her, I’m going to be this child’s father.”

I pause and look to both my parents, who are practically frozen in shock. Before they thought this child was actually mine and now they’re shocked that the baby isn’t but I’m still going to be a dad. “I’ve been thinking long and very, very hard about this and it’s what I want. I have always wanted to be a dad, always wanted kids with Shay before we were even together. I don’t care about the repercussions. I don’t care what people will think.

I want to spend the rest of my life with Shay. I want to wake up next to her and fall asleep next to her at the end of a long day. I want to propose, I want to marry her, I want to have children of our own, and I want to spend every waking moment of my life with her because she is the love of my life.” I admit to them, happiness spread throughout my once sad body.

I can’t help but smile now that the tears have dried.

“I just had to be sure, Harry.” Robin says with a smile as he stands to his feet. I follow in suit and wrap my arms around him, hugging him close. He’s always been a great man to my mother and a great father figure to Gemma and I. “I love you like my own son and I just wanted to make sure you’re taken care of.” I pull away and smile up at him.

“I am as long as I have Shay in my life.” I look over to mum, who is yet again crying. I chuckle at her emotional state and bring her in my arms again, resting my chin down on the top of her head. “Don’t cry mum.”

“They’re happy tears son.” She assures me, giving me a squeeze. “You’re going to be an amazing father!” She squeals, “And someday an amazing husband.” I shush her and look around the room.

I know that Shay is in the other room, but I don’t want her to overhear.

“Yeah, let’s not mention any of this to Shay, shall we? She knows of nothing, plus I haven’t even got a ring yet and I’m not planning on doing it anytime soon.” Mum pulls away entirely from me and purses her lips, placing a finger to it as if to signal she won’t tell. “Oh, and one of Shay’s big concerns was that you wouldn’t treat her the same way, that you’d see her as a victim. Could you please not make a big deal of it? I don’t want her to be miserable until Sunday.”

The last thing I want is for Shay to spend two days absolutely dreadful.

“You’ve got it honey.”

We all head back into the lounge where I spot Shay. She’s still sitting on the couch, only know she’s got her laptop out and she’s typing away furiously on the keyboard. I smile at how adorable she looks as her lips move to read over the words she has typed on the screen and how cute she looks when she concentrates. She senses our presence though and quickly looks up.

There’s an uneasy look on her face when she see’s the three of us together. I just send her a reassuring smile back, one that she returns as my mother walks over to her and takes a seat at her side.

“So Shay, I’ve been thinking,“ Mum starts off, “there’s this boutique in town full of maternity clothes. I’ve never been in it but I’ve heard wonderful things about it. Maybe we can go, just the two of us, tomorrow and fetch some new clothes.” Shay smiles warmly, the look of uneasiness simply fading. She glances to me before nodding her head and saying:

“I would love that.” 

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